It's all so frustrating! He couldn't even let himself hope she'd stay because he couldn't bear the disappointment.
"I worry for you, because you've been showing a whole new side of yourself. Don't get me wrong, you still irritate me with your whole...well..." He waved his hands at him. "...Personality. But I hope she stays, for your sake. I don't think she loved me, at least not then. Alice, as you said, was a child. So were you. Childhood infatuations are perfectly normal."
"You're wrong." Hatter said, hopping his knight over a pawn and into play. He never liked sending pawns out first. Knights were made to protect the common people. To keep them from danger. Shouldn't the protectors head into danger first to clear the path?
"About what?" Gareth asked moving another pawn. "You being irritating? Because that is completely true."
Mutual. "You've misinterpreted the rules of findlings undergoing the test. The saying is they must follow their heart to find if they truly belong. It isn't about love. She didn't have to love you. She had to open herself up, to truly want to stay. Everything that entailed. Now she knows she wants to be here, but her chance was wasted. Something held her back."
"Her family." Gareth moved his rook absently. "She'd worried about her family never knowing where she went."
Melody had arrived when Cadence was meant to be brought back. Could she open her heart to Wonderland enough to stay with that weighing upon her?
"It matters not. Hope is most dangerous when it merges with desire. The more you want it, the more it will hurt when it all falls apart. Unroll a spool of thread until it reaches the end, and what do you have?"
"A very long string."
Hatter smiled faintly. "Ah, but the string has purpose. It still has use. The empty spool has nothing. Once it reaches the end, it is pushed aside and never thought of again."
"What are you trying to say? You're the spool? Don't you just wind new thread around your old spools?"
He shook his head, unsure if Gareth was being intentionally slow to follow. "Someone has to bring the new string, and the string has to come from a different spool. In the end, one of those spools is simply forgotten, used up, without further purpose. The decision comes down to which one is most desirable."
Melody's destiny would be decided soon. He couldn't even do anything to sway her because if any doubt lingered, Wonderland would know. Cadence was proof of that, having been intimate with Gareth moments before leaving. Not even passion had tied her here. There was nothing he could do, and if he attempted to win her heart and she left, then he would doom her to the same plight as her sister. He'd suffer her loss on his own so she could continue without him.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The gryphon's gaze followed Cadence's every move as she tested the bars of her cage. She couldn't fit through them, thanks to her hips. Sliding down a bar for the umpteenth time, the metal caused painful friction on her palms. She'd chafe her palms if she kept this up, but if she could squeeze through the wider spaces near the hook at the top, a little pain was worth it.
"Stop staring at me," she told the gryphon and she flopped down in the middle of the cage, tearing a chunk from the bread to shove into her mouth. At least she wouldn't starve before she was either sent home or devoured by a mythical creature.
"What would you have me do? I've eaten nothing but deceased borogoves for days." The gryphon's raspy voice sent chills through her, and his talons clicked as he came as close as possible. "I've never tasted a findling before. Your pale flesh flushes rose when you exert energy. This hints that you would taste most succulent."
Cadence fought the urge to vomit. He sat there, majestic and fearsome, imagining what she'd taste like. How'd he like it if she told him she bet he'd taste really wonderful dropped in deep fryer and dipped in barbeque sauce? Probably wouldn't like it too much. Hmmph! "I'm a person. You can't eat people."
The gryphon cocked its eagle head to the side, unblinking. "If it is small prey, I can." He seemed to contemplate something and then nodded twice. "I could probably could eat a full-size person if I wanted, but only if I needed to bring the carcass back for young. No need to waste perfectly good meat. All creatures are edible. Some are just harder to hunt and kill."
Yep. Done eating now. Her stomach knotted so tightly she didn't think what she had consumed could gain entrance. "Is there any way I could convince you not to eat me?"
"Mayhap..." he drawled, cocking his head the opposite way from before. He tapped a single talon; the metal beneath him clinked with each strike. Then he wrapped his long, tawny lion tail around him and twitched. "Though I doubt it."
Cadence shuddered. What if her fear of the gryphon ruined her second chance at remaining in Wonderland? Last time, she'd worried about her parents searching and never finding her again, even when she'd wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped up in Gareth's arms. Her doubts were what caused her to leave, she was sure of it. She'd left a message this time, so she had to pull herself together. If Gareth were in her place, he'd not let the threat affect him. Think, Cadence. Think.
"What if I... No, that's nonsense." She stood and gripped the bars again, using what upper arm strength she had to pull herself up a few inches to climb. In her peripheral, the gryphon rose and cocked his head to the side. There were scuffs on his cage from where he'd tried to bite and claw his way out. Dried blood on the floor below proved he'd been relentless to no avail. She slid down the bars and growled, kicking it with her sneakered foot.
"What were you going to ask?" The creature's tail swished back and forth behind his golden lion's body. He was truly a magnificent animal. If Cadence wasn't so terrified of him, she'd be in awe. His cage only provided enough room to pace, sleep, and stand. She doubted he could spread the coppery wings pressed tightly to his back while in there. Her heart broke for him, even though she was glad the cage kept him away from her.
"You'd rather have me for dinner. Why should you care?" She shrugged and turned her back to him as she studied the gaps in the cage at the very top. How the hell am I going to get up there?
"Mayhap I will consider not eating you if I like your proposal."
Bingo. She didn't want to give in too easily, or he'd know it was the plan all along. "It's silly to even think it. I mean, why would I be dumb enough to—never mind."
"Findling, say what you will, please."
When Cadence sighed for dramatic effect, she faced him and crossed her arms. His feathers were puffed out and the scruffy hair on his back was on end like an irritated alley cat's. "I was going to say I'd find a way to free you when I escape, but I kind of prefer being undigested."
He cocked his head the opposite way than before. "Why didn't you say so? If you let me out of this cage I would owe you a debt, which could be not eating you."
That may be the best answer she was likely to receive. "Do you have a name? Mine is Cadence."
The gryphon blinked at her. She didn't think he would reply, but then he said, "Mortimer."
"Nice to meet you." She needed to be her normal size when she let him out of that cage. The only way she had any chance of fighting off a gryphon would be at her full height and strength, not that she'd stand much of a chance against his beak, talons, or claws. He could sever her throat or disembowel her within seconds. "Is there a way for me to be, I don't know, unshrunk?"
Mortimer snorted. "Try the cabinet the bread came from. The blue bottle. Word of advice: never accept food or drink from the Red Queen unless you witness her partaking first. That's how she fills these cages." He nodded toward the rest of the room.
Cadence had avoided looking too closely at the other creatures. Her mind had been on the gryphon. She looked then. Ordinary animals graced some cages, along with birds she'd never seen in her world. Humanoids with one or two animal characteristics were shrunken down in cages like her own. In a fishbowl, a fish with human-like arms and hands instead of fins circled around doing the backstroke. A tank on the far end trapped a mermaid, lazily combing her long green hair with
a starfish. She appeared as cramped as Mortimer.
A white blur in the far corner made her squint to see what had caused it, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. "What is this place?"
Mortimer sat back on his haunches. "The Red Queen's menagerie. Few know of it, and they dare not to speak a word. She has one of every creature of this land. Save three she desires very much."
She suspected she knew two of the answers. "What three?"
"The White Rabbit, a Boojum, and the Jabberwock."
The cage shook violently as Cadence's legs failed to hold her weight and she crashed to her hands and knees. "She knows about the Jabberwock? Truly?"
At this, Mortimer seemed skeptical. "You've seen it?" He nodded to the far wall. "That doorway in the corner leads into a room with a much larger cage. I was in it for a while, until a few days ago. She plans to put the Jabberwock in there. I heard her discussing it with a guard."
"Gareth," Cadence whispered. His marriage wasn't about bringing the kingdoms together at all. The Red Queen wanted him here—with the Vorpal Sword. With Devrel, the last of the Boojums. She could never cage a creature that could teleport, but she could keep him near. That's probably why she didn't have the White Rabbit either. She could use Gareth to lure the Jabberwock right into her trap, a dangerous game that could result in people getting hurt. Devrel would likely continue to live with Gareth, for the queen to observe any time she wanted.
"So you know the slayer as well? For a findling, you have seen an awful lot. Would be a shame to eat you. Knowledge toughens the meat."
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Two knights stood vigil beside the small, ivory rowboat tied at the end of a short dock. They assisted the White Queen and then Melody into the little boat, ensuring their dresses didn't trail into the water.
"Ah, that's better." The queen stretched her arms over her head and wiggled against the wooden bench. One of the knights handed them each parasols, and then the boat was untied and pushed away into the water.
"Wait? Where are the oars?" Melody gripped her closed parasol and contemplated using it to paddle, but the queen laughed.
"Self-steering. It takes me where I wish to go." She popped open her own parasol and rested the shaft against her shoulder. "At last," she said, glancing at the guards growing smaller in the distance. "Now we can speak freely."
Melody didn't know what to say. She'd just met this woman and didn't think speaking freely would be altogether wise. Even though she wasn't the Queen of Hearts, half of her believed she would start screeching, "Off with her head," at any given moment. Every adaptation of the books had crazy queens, though she supposed the White Queen had always come across as the less aggressive of the three. Some even made the Queen of Hearts and the Red Queen the same person.
It was also the first time Melody had been apart from Hatter since arriving, and she wished he'd come with them. She felt safe with him, completely at ease.
"Don't be afraid." The queen smiled warmly. "I encourage honesty and free thought. Furthermore, you are not from our land, so anything that goes against our ways will be attributed to cultural differences."
Of all she expected of the White Queen, generosity and kindness had not been among them—a pleasant surprise, and one that eased her nervousness to a great extent. "I really don't know what to say... Um, it's an honor to meet you?"
"Likewise. I didn't have the pleasure of meeting your sister, and I regret it seeing how it affected poor Gareth so."
Guilt roiled within her gut. "She would have loved meeting you too. She's tried to return every day since she's been home. No one believed her. I didn't believe her."
The White Queen leaned forward and patted her hand. "Our desires make us long to believe with all our hearts, but to see it first hand? That's the miracle. A falling star, a cat with a grin. A...Wonderland. Those who have never witnessed wonder for themselves will never believe. Tell me, do you think you will stay or go?"
Melody's shoulders slumped. "I have no idea."
"Would you like to stay?"
Would I? An image of Hatter so alone, so sad, shot through her mind and she frowned. His smile was so beautiful. She wanted him to smile always, especially if she were the one to cause it.
"I see this matter brings about a confusion of the heart," the queen said. "Both worlds call to you, and you hunger for both. Your world is comfortable, predictable, and you may not realize you are even now preparing your return to it. Contrariwise, the unknown is seductive. You covet it, but it frightens you. Am I wrong?"
Melody fiddled with the end of her unopened parasol and blinked. "No, that pretty much covers it."
"Think with your heart, my dear girl. Don't let your thoughts frighten you. If you want to stay, want it with all you are. Worry not of sentiment, but where you belong." She leaned forward and patted Melody's knee. "Embrace that above everything else. Wonderland will be lost in your confusion and expel you if it can't be certain this is where your future lies."
Melody supposed it made sense, but with everyone assuming she'd be tossed out, she'd not considered trying to stay. What would it be like to live here, to see Hatter every morning? Perhaps to wake up in his arms, free to touch him, kiss him, whenever she wished? "What was your premonition about—the one I may or may not be a part of?"
The queen ducked her head as a dragonfly that looked like a two-inch Chinese dragon with insect wings flew by. "Premonitions are rarely straightforward. They are bits and pieces. A sensation, an object, even a place. There are times when I know I will prick my finger on my broach because I feel the pain moments before. Then there are occasions like this one where I feel the fear of my kingdom or see a long shadow cast over a celebration, but have no notion as to why."
Melody shuddered, thankful she did not have such an ability. "What did you see when you touched me?"
The queen's smile was knowing. "I saw Hatter winning his fight with the particular madness that oft takes hold of those who live here."
A gasp formed in her throat, but all she could do was open and close her mouth. Did that mean she would stay? For the first time, a strange hope settled over her.
"Not all I see comes to pass," the queen added solemnly. "Most does, but you have the potential of causing this to happen. A caveat: I adore Hatter. I wish nothing but happiness for him. However, should you remain in our world, do not do it for him. Do it for you."
Movement under the water caught Melody's attention as she pondered the queen's words. Her eyes widened and she shook her head in disbelief. It couldn't be, yet it was. "Is that..." She cleared her throat when it trailed off in a squeak. "Is that a mermaid?"
Said mermaid's head poked out of the water. Her skin had a caramel coloring to it, and her hair was as blue as the water around her, a sea plant's vine tangled in their waves.
The White Queen nodded at the mermaid and smiled. "Greetings, Nautia. How do you fare?"
Nautia swam closer to peer at Melody and crinkled her nose. "She's not from our land."
"She's a findling," the queen said. "Her name is Melody."
"That's pretty. Like a song." Nautia gripped the edge of the boat and pulled herself up to examine Melody closer. Behind her, a purple tailfin breached the water's surface and splashed back into the river. "Do you swim?"
"Sometimes." Melody couldn't stop staring. Nautia didn't have a fancy clam bra like in cartoons. Her bare breasts bore nipples the same color as her tail and her irises. It was difficult not to notice. They shimmered in the sunlight like her scales.
"If you stay in this land, come swim with me sometime. I promise I won't drown you."
She opened and closed her mouth, swallowing before replying, "Uh...thank you. I will, if I stay."
Nautia winked at her, nodded at the queen, and dove back in the water to swim away.
"She wouldn't really drown me would she?" Melody stared after where Nautia had disappeared beneath the surface.
"No. They only drown males...after they mate with them."
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"How romantic." She suddenly had so many questions, and she worried she'd overwhelm the queen. If she had to follow her heart, knowing some of what she could possibly be getting into would help. "Everyone keeps referring to Wonderland like it's a living creature instead of a place. Why is that? Why does it decide my fate?"
The queen pursed her lips. Then she twirled her parasol and shifted in her seat, careful not to step on the hem of her gown. "Wonderland is not a creature, but it moves about from realm to realm, in an out of existence and time from your world to others. It has a sort of...energy, if you will, that prevents too many strangers from populating our land. No one controls it, but we have come to accept this is the way of it."
Different realms? "There are more worlds than mine and yours?"
The queen smiled. "Look at the creatures living here." She pointed at Melody. "Creatures of earth." Then she waved her hand over the water. "Of sea." She raised her hand higher, gesturing above with a grand wave. "Of sky. We pass between them. Wonderland is home to those from all over. That's why some animals talk and others do not. Some look familiar to you, while others are alien. We were all findlings once, or our families were, long ago."
"Were you born here?"
"Yes." She tilted her head forward and smiled. "My two sisters and I were the daughters of the former queen of Wonderland. She became ill when we were very young. She and our father split the realm into three equal parts, willing the people to design great castles for each so all her daughters could be queens together. It was her dying wish."
"The White Queen, the Red Queen, and the Queen of Hearts," Melody whispered. All sisters. She was riveted by the story, such an intense curiosity making her eager to learn more.
The White Queen nodded. "Our mother's crown was composed of white gold, rubies, and a large onyx heart as a centerpiece. Originally we'd named our kingdoms after the colors: white, red, and black. Always indifferent, Wilhelmina informed us at coronation that she was to be the Queen of Hearts rather than the Black Queen. She'd coveted the title of Red Queen, but Matilda claimed it first, being the eldest and having first choice."
The Unraveling (Wonderland Book 2) Page 10