by Leo Nix
“You know what?” he asked of Skip, who was the last to head down the stairs into the well-lit cave below. “I was going to blow you all up when I saw you stop at the highway. I've got sensors and imaging systems everywhere, you'd never escape me if you came to kill me, you know.” He smiled again. “I saw the news on the internet, the terrorists have taken out the whole world. You could have been terrorists in disguise coming to take me out. It was lucky that Joey sent me a message first.”
“We're the good guys, Bluey. We're here to ask for your help, we're not interested in getting killed,” stated Skip clearly, and somewhat firmly. Skip had worked the old man out quickly, he wanted to make it clear to Bluey that he wasn't going to let the old man play games with him.
“It's lucky I called before we left,” offered Joey as he called the two to join everyone, “otherwise Bluey would have blown you all up for sure. He's a proper mad bastard,” he said. Joey tried to force a laugh but Skip could tell that he meant every word.
“Bluey, is there anything you need from us? Just ask and we'll help out if it's in our power. I hope Joey explained to you that we're here because we need your help.” Skip's eyes focused on Bluey's to make sure the old fellow knew what he was getting at - the subtext was clear, 'we won't hurt you, you won't hurt us, we're not a threat'.
Skip's brother had a mental illness and there were times when he'd had to talk him down from harming himself, or someone else. He recognised that same crazed stare in Bluey's eyes.
“Ah, OK, yeah, we're all good aren't we?” He turned to Joey for confirmation, Joey nodded. “OK, well come on into my lounge, it's a bit mixed up because I don't usually get many visitors.” He showed the visitors around his underground home. It had rooms the size of cathedrals and some so small you couldn't swing a cat.
There was a flurry of black fur as a cat leapt from one of Bluey's seats and introduced herself to the guests. She immediately began rubbing her cheeks on Danielle's legs.
“Hey, pussycat, come here will you,” called a delighted Emily bending down and putting out her hand to the cat. As soon as the black ball of fur saw Emily she raced across and smooched all over her.
“What's your cat's name?” called Emily, smiling with delight, she loved cats.
Bluey was watching, mesmerised, it was as though he'd never seen anyone pet a cat before.
“She's called 'Piggy'. Do you like cats?” asked Bluey, truly bewildered by the girls' attention, as one after the other, they crouched on the floor to stroke little 'Piggy'. Even Hooky joined the group fussing over the black cat.
“Yes, I love cats,” announced Emily trying to lift the tiny cat. It was built much the same as Emily, petite and compact.
“Better watch she doesn't claw you, she hates to be picked up.” Indeed it was true. The black cat wriggled and squirmed out of Emily's hands to immediately return to the crowd to be petted again.
“What's happened to her tail, it looks like she doesn't have one?” called Danielle stoking the purring, prancing, and tailless cat.
Bluey chuckled, he had been waiting for someone to mention his cat's absence of a tail.
“Piggy's a Manx, they don't have tails. See how her back legs are longer than her front ones? She looks like she's always walking downhill! That's why she's called 'Piggy', because her tail is so tiny, like a little piggy's.” He chuckled delightedly when he heard the girls 'ooh' and 'ahh' at his answer.
When their interest finally ebbed the group looked around at their host's stunning underground home.
“Hey, Bluey, how do you get air fresh so you don't suffocate?” asked Trisha, an architect in her past life.
“Simple, warm air rises and cool air falls. I installed piping and solar-driven fans through all the rooms when I decided to live here. There are pipes going up through the roof, other pipes draw air back down through the soil to cool it. I simply apply Newtons' Laws of Thermodynamics.” The old man pointed out his pipes and the rooms they led to. Bluey was overjoyed at the attention from everyone. He was obviously proud of the work he'd done on his home beneath the desert.
“We've brought some food for you too, Bluey,” said Skip lifting a large bag of dried kangaroo jerky from Fortune's backpack. He handed it to Bluey. “We added some chilli to give it some taste, I hope you don't mind some hot spices.”
The old man's eyes lit up a second time, he couldn't remember the last time a stranger did a kind turn for him - and he loved chilli. “Thank you, thank you, wow, that's nice of you people. Here, let me make some tea for you. I've not got much in the way of food for visitors, I never get visitors except Joey here, and sometimes his wife, Gina.”
“Bluey?” called Trisha, “What do you feed Piggy?”
“Whatever she wants,” smiled Bluey as he bustled around his kitchen. The questions came thick and fast. He was in 'survivalist' heaven as he answered every question put to him about himself and his cat's survival in the middle of the Australian desert.
Eventually everyone found a comfortable position to sit in the sparsely furnished lounge, most sat on the hessian-bag covered dirt floor. Bluey's home was enormous, having been excavated to find the odd nugget of gold.
Soldier of Fortune had put Kerrie's arm in a sling to support it. Danielle helped her friend sit on the floor while she sought a cold drink for her. Fortune noticed that his patient's temperature was up and she was looking pale. It was unexpected because she had recovered so well up until now.
Obi-Wan was restless, he wanted to get down to business as soon as possible. While Murphy, Emily, Trisha and Julie helped Joey make tea and prepared their refreshments, Obi-Wan went to sit with Skip and Bluey. They spoke quietly, well away from everyone else.
“Yeah, I know you blokes want help to contact your base, Joey told me. But it's off limits. I can't help you.” He accepted a plate of sandwiches that Gina and Maisie made for them before they'd left Meekatharra.
Obi-Wan and Skip looked at each other then back at Bluey. Obi-Wan pushed forward, “I can see you've got quite a set-up from the dishes outside. It looks like you can contact the satellites from here.” He noticed Bluey's eyes light up at the special ops' observation. “We're not asking you to breach your security or divulge any secrets, we just want to get home, back to Pine Gap. We've lost our Black Hawk and we've lost our Taipan. We can't contact anyone because the Pine Gap communications are compromised and we've been kicked from the network. Bluey, we need your help.”
The small man turned his face sideways as he listened, his mouth chomping vigorously as though he'd not eaten in years. His head nodded up and down as he listened and his eyes turned up, down, then back up again. Finally the small man stared at the radio at the other end of the room.
“I guess you fellas can keep a secret?” he asked, his face a mixture of fear, dread and excitement.
“ 'Secrecy' is our middle name, Bluey. We're both Ultra-secret, special ops and we're also the top crypto-analysts at Pine Gap. We just don't have the equipment to do a damn thing to help ourselves right now. We hoped you could help us.”
Obi-Wan waited patiently, sipping his black tea and grimacing, 'how the hell do these Aussies drink this stuff, it's like burnt water', he thought. He swilled the tea around in his mouth looking for a place to spit it - there wasn't any.
“Well, if you promise not to tell your Commander Cullen, I guess I can show you a few things.” He didn't wait for a response but got up and motioned for the two to follow. A few of their team noticed but didn't interfere.
“This is my baby. I've sourced the best quality hardware and created my own software. No one will ever crack my code. I'm completely immune to being tracked, cracked or broken.” He tittered into his open hand. Both Skip and Obi-Wan smiled at each other, it was easy to like this wizened little man.
Just then Piggy jumped onto Bluey's computer desk.
“Hey! Piggy! Get down, now!” he said sternly as he tried to gently shove the little cat across to another space on his desk. “How many
times have I told you not to jump on my computer?” But the little black cat immediately walked straight back across his keyboard to be petted and rubbed.
“Darn it, I said move you pesky darn bundle of fur and nuisance,” he said repeating his act to move the cat aside without upsetting it. He clearly loved his Piggy. Once more the cat stepped back to his computer and walked across his keyboard. That did it, Bluey exploded.
“Damn it, Pigg'n! I'm gonna throw you outside and you can find you're own bloody home to live in!” Bluey tried to pick his cat up but he too failed. She skilfully squirmed and leapt from his arms onto the floor. Piggy raced back to the group of admiring girls, who, just as quickly, began petting and entertaining her.
Bluey sat for a moment as though he'd lost track of what he was doing. He then recovered and went back to where he was before the cat-attack.
“Darn cat,” he muttered under his breath. “What would you like to know first? I've been listening to the goings-on in Geraldton, I listened to their communications when you lot escaped. I've been monitoring Perth, Sydney, Melbourne, the space stations and even overseas. I even know all about you two blokes.” He winked at them. “I've had a hell of a time keeping up with all that's going on. Europe's down and out, America is down and out, parts of China, Asia and India have gone up in smoke. Those diseases the Revelationists released have killed billions, get that, 'billions' of people. We're lucky to be here in Australia, no one cares about us. But we're our own worst enemy, our own people have turned against us and now we're killing each other.” His voice petered off into silence at the end of the sentence.
He started up again, like a motor that's been throttled back on a curve only to be revved back up to speed on the straight. “The Revelationists have everyone frightened. Everyone that's alive that is. The poisoned water took out every major city. But look, you're here, and I'm here, so it can't be that bad can it?”
By now Skip was getting a bit tired. “Bluey, can you tell us what happened to the helicopters? We saw Wagontrain, our Taipan, hit and go down. We know that's lost. We saw Maverick, our Black Hawk, shoot off into the heavens and that's the last we've seen of it. We've not been able to contact them and we don't even know if they were shot down or what.” Skip stopped as he watched Bluey carefully move his mouth close to Obi-Wan's ear.
“They got away,” he said so softly that Obi-Wan could barely hear him.
Obi-Wan turned to Skip with a wide smile, “The Black Hawk got away!” but Bluey hadn't finished speaking. He spoke into Obi-Wan's ear once more.
“But they did get hit, and they didn't make it back to Pine Gap. They're out there now, patching up their helicopter so they can fly it home.” Bluey sat back and resumed eating his sandwiches, a cheeky smile played across his weathered face.
“Skip, Bluey said that they're down somewhere. They got hit, they're still repairing the chopper,” relayed Obi-Wan.
Skip now leaned across to speak softly in Bluey's ear. “Bluey, mate, I've got ears too you know. You can talk to me as well, I won't eat you.”
Bluey immediately laughed out-loud spraying bits of his sandwich over the floor. “Ha, ha! I got you did I? I was waiting for you to break! Got you!” He jumped up and ran a few paces then came back and sat down.
“I know where they are too.” He stopped moving and waited for a response.
“Where?” Obi-Wan instinctively responded. “Where are they, Bluey? They're our friends, if they're close we can help them.”
Speaking loud enough for just the two to hear, Bluey said, “Oh, you'll never get to them from here, they're miles away up north. They're up near the RAAF Base at Learmouth, Exmouth way. They had engine trouble and decided to head to the base but came down before they could get to it. It was a stupid idea anyway, there's nothing at Learmouth, it's dead.”
“Damn, they're in the opposite direction to Pine Gap. What's their situation now, Bluey? When will they be ready to head back to Pine Gap?” asked Skip, excited to know their friends were still alive.
“I can ask them if you want?” offered Bluey as he finished his sandwich and started on another.
“WHAT?” both special ops said in unison.
Bluey looked perplexed, “ 'What' nothing. I can call them up now if you want me too, you can talk to them yourselves.”
“Bullshit!” exploded Skip, his face wreathed in smiles.
In response Bluey lifted the microphone, flicked a few switches and said, “Maverick, this is Goldmine, come in.”
After a few seconds there came a response. “Goldmine, you're early, what's up? Over.” The special ops recognised the voice of Captain 'Curly' Moe.
“I have some friends of yours here with me, do you want to talk to them, over.” Bluey turned and smiled at his new-found friends, he was enjoying this beyond his wildest expectations.
“Goldmine, this is Maverick Actual, your time is not for another hour, what news do you have, over.” This was Major Samuels, there was some interest behind his usual professional demeanour.
“Hey, that's Major Samuels!” cried Obi-Wan unable to contain his enthusiasm. “Here, let me talk to him!” He reached for the mic but Bluey pulled it out of his reach.
“Wait your turn, Mr Skywalker, we have to catch up on our gossip before we can let you talk,” ordered Bluey. “Maverick, I've got Obi-Wan Skywalker, and his side-kick, Skip Chewbacca here with me. Do you wish to talk to them? Over.” There were excited yells in the background as Samuels called to his crew to come over and listen.
“Hey, thanks, Goldmine, you'd better put Obi-Wan through. We're in a hell of a pickle right now and in need of his assistance, over.” Bluey smiled broadly and handed the mic to Obi-Wan.
The two visitors noticed that when Bluey spoke on the radio he became a different person. He spoke like a professional, as though he had done this before.
“Maverick, this is Obi-Wan, glad to hear you're all alive and kicking. What's your situation, over.” It was back to business.
“Obi, glad to hear from you. We're sorry that we had to bolt like that, we took hits over your position. We saw Wagontrain go down, damn shame. How are you lot doing? Over.”
“We're down to ten of our group. It's been hell but we're still in the fight, over.”
“Sorry to hear that, Obi-Wan. We're near Learmouth RAAF Base. We need parts but can't organise transport, there's no one around that can help us. We need very specific parts and Bluey has generously built the replacement parts for us. That wizard has everything, in fact, I think he could build a Black Hawk by himself. Is there any way you can get them to us? We can then get the bird into the air and back to base as soon as we put them in, over.”
Obi-Wan looked at Bluey's bright face, Bluey nodded excitedly and said, “Yep, I've got their parts. If you can get them there your bird can fly.”
“Maverick, that's affirmative, over.”
“Bluey has the details of our position. If you send a vehicle with the parts we'll fly the boys home, over.”
“Consider it done, out.” Obi-Wan handed the mic back to Bluey who confirmed the news and closed down.
“See, I told you I knew a few things,” said Bluey with a wink. He stood and placed a large map on the desk in front of them. He pointed out exactly where the helicopter came down and the best route to get there. Obi-Wan accepted the map and started writing and drawing all over it to catch every word of advice from the dwarf-like, electronics wizard beside him.
“Bluey, you're a champion, would you like to come with us to Pine Gap, or maybe visit the Maverick?” asked Obi-Wan.
Bluey's mood changed immediately. His face closed and his eyes darted about. “No! I'm not going back there, never, you're not going to force me are you?” He looked like a lost little boy for a split second.
Skip quickly took over. “Hey, Bluey, you can come with us but only if you want to go. We're not forcing you to do anything.” He waited for a few seconds then said, “So I guess that means you don't want to go?”
“Go? No, I'm staying here. I think you'd all better leave now. The gear you need is upstairs, Joey can show you. Take the maps, I've got spares, I can print more if I want.” Bluey stared at them, then spoke venomously, “I wish I'd never met you.” He stood and withdrew into one of the rooms pulling a blanket down to cover the entrance.
Bluey was going to tell his new friends about the virus-like Trojan that he'd released to control the military satellites. He was also going to tell them that he also knew things they were desperate to find out, secrets. But now he wouldn't tell them a damn thing, they didn't deserve to know - they could all go to hell.
Bluey clicked his fingers. Piggy immediately looked up from her ring of admirers. She then artfully leapt over several pairs of legs and arms to join her master in his den.
Joey saw his friend storm into his bedroom and knew what that meant. He stood up and called to the group, “I'm sorry folks, Bluey's unwell, we'd better be leaving now.” The team members turned to look at Obi-Wan and Skip. They saw them confirm Joey's words so they began packing up.
As they walked up the stairs, Joey called out, “Bluey, we're leaving now, I'll give Obi-Wan the gear. They said you can keep the food. I'll talk to you on the radio soon. See ya, mate!” he yelled, then followed the last police officer, Danielle, up the stairs into the hot, fresh air of the Little Sandy Desert.
The group held a quick meeting outside the shed. It was just on dusk and the heat in the air was less intense. Obi-Wan addressed the questioning faces around him.
“Good news, I've just spoken to Maverick, they're all fine but the chopper needs parts. This,” he held up the bag containing the components Bluey had prepared for them, “needs to go to Learmouth, or near abouts. I want one vehicle to head back to the coast and deliver it. You'll then fly back to Pine Gap with the Black Hawk.”
“I'll go,” said Murphy before anyone else could open their mouths. Immediately his SEAL friend, Pipeline, put his hand up as well. The two girls, Emily and Trisha quickly followed.
“I'll go too if they'll have me. I want to stay with my friends,” said Julie quickly, not even turning to look at Skip. Skip remained silent, gently nodding to himself. 'Of course Julie would want to be with her friends,' he said to himself, 'so stop being a silly bastard feeling sorry for yourself'.