They sat down on bales of hay near the front of the trailer. People continued to pile on, the tractor driver trying to fit as many people on as possible. Jace was forced to inch closer to Kathryn, and she became instantly aware of their close proximity. Their thighs were touching and Jace stretched his arm out, resting it on the railing behind her, the closeness causing her heart to speed up with nerves. He smelled nice, a masculine fresh scent like the mountains.
The tractor roared to life, the motor drowning out the sound of everything else and began driving around the orchard. Sprinkled throughout the apple trees were different fall scenes made with large rag dolls. There were scarecrows in cornstalks and leaf piles and a mock turkey dinner. For a second, Kathryn felt the familiar excitement of autumn growing inside her and then was startled to feel Jace’s arm move from the railing where it had been resting and land on her shoulder causing her to tense up. It had been a long time since she’d had someone’s arm around her like this and it felt unfamiliar and made her nervous, causing her to slowly inch away and she felt Jace’s arm retract back to the railing.
The tractor finished its loop a few minutes later and everyone began to pile off. Jace and Kathryn were the last ones off and just as he had when they boarded, he held out his hand to help her. She took it and quickly hopped off.
“What’d you think?” he asked as they walked away from the tractor and back to the booths. She could sense a change in his voice though. She couldn’t decide if it was annoyance or frustration, but there was something definitely different in his demeanor once they were off the hayride and she knew her reaction to him putting his arm around her was to blame.
“It was cute,” Kathryn said. “Did you like it?”
“It was a hayride,” he said nonchalantly. “Sorry this place is boring,” he apologized.
“I don’t think it’s boring.”
“You just don’t seem that into it.”
With those words, she knew he was both frustrated and annoyed, maybe at himself as well as her. She really was having a good time. It felt good to be out and she liked Jace. He was nice and sweet and she was happy she’d agreed to come with him to the festival. After Ben, she thought she’d never have fun again, but she was enjoying herself with Jace, but she wasn’t making that known. Trouble was, she didn’t know if she could make it known or even if she wanted to.
“I am having a good time,” she said trying to reassure him.
“It doesn’t seem like it. You seem distracted or something.”
“I’ve just got a lot on my mind,” she said, not wanting to go into details. “But I’m having a good time, I promise.”
“If you say so,” he said with a soft laugh, but she could tell he didn’t believe her.
They browsed the different booths without much talking. They ended up at a vendor who was selling homemade candles. Kathryn took the various jars and held them to her nose smelling the different fall fragrances. Jace didn’t seem incredibly enthused to be hanging out amongst candles, but he was a good sport about it, going around smelling different scents. Kathryn laughed as she saw his nose curl up a few times.
“You could get a headache in this place,” he laughed as he put down a honeysuckle candle.
“It’s not that bad,” she chuckled. “Smell this one,” she said holding a pumpkin and cinnamon candle to his nose for him to smell. His eyebrows seemed to rise in approval.
“Not bad. You like this one?” he asked.
“Yeah. It’s quintessential fall.”
“Wow, big word,” he laughed.
“I try,” she grinned.
“Let me buy it for you,” he said taking it from her hand.
“You don’t need to do that,” she protested.
“I know that. But I want to.”
“It’s okay Jace, really.”
“Just let me,” he said and turned to go pay for it before she could object again. He returned a few moments later with a paper bag tied with a red and beige plaid ribbon and handed the candle to her. “Now whenever you burn it, you can think of me.”
She felt herself blush and took the bag from him.
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
They browsed for a little while longer and stopped to eat some kettle corn and mulled cider. The sun began to set early like it always did in the fall and the crowd began to dwindle.
“You want to head back?” Jace suggested.
“Yeah. We probably should.”
She held the bag with the candle inside on her lap as they drove home and glanced over at Jace as he concentrated on the road. He looked so different than Ben, but he seemed to share so many of the good qualities that Ben had possessed. She’d only known him a few days, but she had a good feeling when she was with him, until the sinking feeling crept back into her stomach that told her spending time with Jace was wrong.
He pulled into an open stall in front of her apartment building and turned off the ignition. She gathered her purse and candle and got out of the car, and noticed Jace getting out too. She looked at him with surprise.
“What?” he asked with a smile. “I can’t walk you to the door?”
“Of course you can,” she told him, getting in synch with his stride as they walked towards her apartment. They stopped at the door and faced each other.
“I hope you weren’t too bored today.”
“No, I had a good time. I’m glad you called.”
“Yeah, me too,” he said and then the awkward moment that was inevitable at the end of all dates settled in. Jace’s hands were in his pockets and he rocked gently back and forth. She wondered if he would try and kiss her. She prayed he wouldn’t.
“Well, I’ll see you later then,” Kathryn said quietly.
“Yeah. I’ll see you later.”
“Thanks again for the candle.”
“You’re welcome,” he said with a smile and then turned and walked back to his car.
She opened the door slowly, keeping her eyes on Jace as he got into the car. Once he was in, she shut the door behind her and entered the apartment.
“Luke?” she called out to no answer. “Luke?” she called again and then looked around the apartment. He was still gone and the apartment was too quiet. She glanced at the clock. Sharon would be bringing Sarah back within the hour.
She walked to her room and carefully took the candle out of the paper bag, setting it on her nightstand. She reached into her desk where she kept a book of matches and struck one, lighting the new candle. The air smelled of sulfur for a moment, a black trail climbing into the air once the wick was lit. She sat down on the edge of her bed and a moment later the warm smell of pumpkin and cinnamon began to permeate the air. She stared at the flame as it danced, and she thought of Jace, but then her eyes drifted over to the picture of Ben she kept next to her bed and she started to cry.
Chapter 29
Despite the internal struggle Kathryn had going on inside her, she was happy when Jace called the next day to see how she was doing. They didn’t talk long, but when he called again the following day she found herself getting a little more excited to talk to him. He finally asked her to go out again for Saturday night, which she agreed to, ignoring the nagging feeling that always seemed to find its way inside her whenever she thought of Ben.
She had nearly forgotten about Trevor, realizing what a mistake it had been. Something seemed different about Jace though. He was real and she liked that. He didn’t seem to pretend to be something he wasn’t and he was confident and kind and she found herself thinking about him.
Saturday night came and Sarah was at her parents’ house. She hadn’t told them why she needed them to babysit, but they were more than happy to do so. She was getting ready for her date, deciding to wear jeans and a pink sweater and she left her thick blonde hair straight and sleek down her back, when her phone rang. It was Lacey.
“Hey!” her voice sang into the receiver. “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight. Ya know, watch mov
ies or something?”
“Uh, I can’t.”
“Why not? I’m totally bored,” Lacey whined.
“Um…I’m going out,” she said quietly.
“What? What do you mean you’re going out?” Lacey asked hesitantly, not sure what Kathryn meant by that.
“I’m going to the movies.”
“With who? I’ll join you.”
“You can’t Lacey.”
“Why not?” she complained again.
“Because. I’m going out…with a guy,” she said quietly, practically whispering it.
“What?” Lacey shrieked.
“Calm down!”
“Sorry,” she said breathlessly. “Who’re you going out with?”
“Um, Jace…the guy you saw me talking to at that party.”
“When did this happen?” Lacey squealed and Kathryn could almost see Lacey’s face scrunching up in confusion.
“We’ve been talking and hanging out a little,” she replied nervously.
“Really? That’s great!” Lacey exclaimed.
She hadn’t told Lacey about Jace because even though her friend had encouraged her to get out and start living again, even set her up on a date, Kathryn was afraid of what Lacey would think of her spending time with someone other than Ben.
“Well, that’s why I can’t hang out tonight,” Kathryn said trying to tame Lacey’s enthusiasm.
“Well, duh. I figured that out, but you have to call me soon so we can talk about this guy.”
“Okay, I will. Bye Lacey,” Kathryn said and hung up the phone. She dreaded that future talk because she knew Lacey would hound her relentlessly for details and Kathryn knew she’d want to meet Jace so she could check him out and offer her opinion.
She looked in the mirror one last time and wondered when she should tell Jace about Sarah. She wasn’t trying to hide Sarah, but she was afraid. She knew the fact she had a child would be a shock to him and she worried how he’d react. For now, she figured it was safest to keep Sarah out of the conversation until, if and when it became necessary. She didn’t want to expose Sarah to someone she hardly knew herself.
One thing she couldn’t keep to herself though was telling Luke about her date. She’d told him nothing about Jace and as she walked into the living room where he was buried in a pile of papers, she was nervous to tell him.
“Hey,” she said sitting down at the opposite end of the couch.
He looked up from his papers and smiled at her.
“You look nice.”
“Thanks,” she said taking a deep breath before continuing. “I’m going out.”
She’d blurted the words out so quickly she could tell Luke wasn’t sure if he’d heard her correctly.
“You’re going out?” he repeated.
“Yeah. Going to the movies.”
“Are you going with Lacey?” he asked defaulting to the obvious choice.
“Actually no. I’m going with Jace,” she said, her heart pounding as she waited for his reaction. She knew he would be skeptical.
“Who’s Jace?” he asked setting his paper down and staring at her.
“He’s just a guy I met,” she said nonchalantly.
“Really? A guy you met?” he said nodding his head and looking back down at the papers. His voice was flat and she could tell he was less than thrilled.
“What’s wrong Luke?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he said, but he didn’t look up. “I’ve just got a lot of work due for my physics class. Have fun.” He looked up again and smiled, but it wasn’t his usual smile. It was forced and his eyebrows seemed furrowed.
“Okay,” was all she said and they were quiet until the doorbell rang.
She noticed Luke didn’t even look up when she went to the door.
“Jace…hi,” Kathryn said when she opened it. He was standing with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face, wearing jeans and a black leather jacket over a white t-shirt.
“Hey Kathryn,” he said grinning at her.
“You wanna get going?” she asked reaching over and quickly grabbing her purse and coat and stepping outside. She didn’t feel an introduction to Luke was necessary.
“Um, yeah…let’s go,” he said as his eyes moved suspiciously behind her wondering what the big rush was.
They walked over to his SUV and he held the door open for her as she climbed in.
“So, do you have a roommate or do you live alone?” he asked as they drove towards the movie theater. Kathryn paused, not quite sure how to answer. She definitely didn’t live alone. She lived with her dead boyfriend’s brother and daughter. She couldn’t very well tell him that though.
“Um, I have a roommate,” was all she said.
“Oh yeah? What’s she like?”
She cringed at the chosen pronoun. She couldn’t lie to him though. She had to tell him she lived with a guy, she just didn’t have to reveal who exactly her roommate was.
“Uh…actually, it’s a he.”
She saw Jace straighten a little and turned and looked at her briefly with a raised eyebrow.
“Oh. You live with a guy?”
“Yeah, he’s just a really good friend. It works for us,” she said shrugging her shoulders lackadaisically so Jace wouldn’t read too deeply into it.
“Good, that’s good,” he said and she couldn’t tell if it bothered him or not.
“What about you? What’s your living situation?” she asked turning the subject to him.
“I live alone now. I had a roommate my first year who I hated,” he laughed. “I couldn’t wait to get rid of him. I realized then I probably wasn’t exactly the roommate type.”
“Don’t you get lonely?” she asked.
“Not really. I don’t mind being alone.”
“I think we’re alike in that way then. I don’t mind it either. I’d rather be alone or with friends than with a big group of people I don’t know.”
“Me too,” he agreed. “I’ve always been like that though.”
Kathryn smiled to herself as she discovered something else they had in common.
He pulled into the theater a few minutes later and they walked to the counter where Jace purchased their tickets. They ordered a large bucket of popcorn to share and two sodas. They walked into the theater which was half full and made their way up the stairs to the back row and waited for the previews to start.
She looked around and couldn’t help but notice how strange it felt to be sitting in a movie theater with someone other than Ben. With Ben it had been easy and effortless. They would talk about anything or say nothing at all. With Jace it was different though. She’d spent the week getting to know him, but she still felt like he was a stranger to her and as they sat side by side in the theater, she was overly aware of the awkward silence between them.
“I’ve really wanted to see this movie,” she said to him trying to get the conversation going.
“Yeah, me too. It looks hilarious,” he said and then it was silent again.
The lights went down a few minutes later and the previews started, followed shortly by the movie. It was funny and Jace laughed out loud numerous times, compared to Kathryn, who just smiled while the rest of theater erupted in laughter. She’d never been one to laugh out loud, but had always loved people who had. Ben had been more like her, more reserved and quiet in public. She had to admit she enjoyed hearing Jace’s laughter.
When the lights came on, they gathered their trash, dumped it in the garbage can and made their way back to the parking lot.
“I thought the movie was pretty funny. How about you?” he asked as they drove back home.
“Yeah, I liked it too.” It had been nice to escape for a little while and even though it had felt strange to be out with someone other than Ben, she’d had a good time, and she admitted she didn’t want the night to end.
“Should I just take you home?” he asked.
“We could go to your place for a while and watch some TV or something,” sh
e suggested, not wanting to go back to her apartment. Luke was home and she didn’t need his scrutiny.
“Sure. Sounds good,” he smiled and drove to his apartment complex.
She followed him inside and she looked around. He had definitely left the decorating to a minimum. His black entertainment center held a flat screen TV, DVD player and an Xbox. Besides the loveseat she was sitting on, there was a white chair and a coffee table with a car magazine resting on it. A white clock hung on the wall and vertical blinds covered the back door.
“Nice place,” she said.
“Thanks,” he replied and began taking off his coat. Kathryn couldn’t help but watch as he slid out of the black leather jacket. She noticed his white t-shirt revealed strong, defined arms, and she quickly looked away, before she could become aware of anything else. She set her purse on the kitchen counter and then turned to Jace who was still standing in the small entryway that separated the kitchen and living room.
“You want something to drink?” he offered.
“Sure. What do you have?”
“Dr. Pepper, 7 Up, apple juice…” he said rattling off the choices.
“No beer?”
“No. Why? You want one?” he asked looking up at her skeptically and she smiled.
“No. I don’t want a beer. I don’t drink,” she laughed. “I’m just surprised you don’t have any.”
“I’m actually not a big fan of the stuff,” he said and she smiled to herself realizing he wasn’t a big party guy.
“Dr. Pepper’s fine,” she said and he pulled out two from the refrigerator and they sat down on the couch. They popped open their sodas and began drinking. Jace turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels.
“Hey, put it on the Red Sox game,” she said when she saw the play-off game between the Sox and the Angels.
“Baseball fan?” he asked.
“Kind of. How about you?” she replied thinking back to all the nights she’d spent watching Red Sox games with Ben.
“I prefer basketball, but I watch baseball too.”
“Basketball? I may have to leave now,” she joked.
“You wanna leave? Go ahead,” he grinned motioning towards the door playfully.
After the Sky Fell Down Page 21