by Mary Stone
“This house?”
She looked around. “Yep. This very one. I thought about selling it, but I kind of liked it. Turned out, Adam knew just what I would like. And it was perfect for the two of us. It gave us a fresh start.”
“And you never heard from him again? Or tried to contact him?”
“No. I was too hurt to reach out, and to be honest, I didn’t want to feel the rejection for a second time. I figured that he knew where I was. If he wanted me, he’d come back for me.”
Kylie let out a sad sigh. “But he never did.”
Rhonda shook her head.
“And you never sought a divorce?”
Rhonda knew it sounded pathetic, but she hadn’t. She was normally a woman of action, but just thinking about Adam Hatfield rendered her queasy and immobile.
“I’d sooner just forget it. Whenever I thought about what I might find if I dug into it, what kind of new life he was living, without me…it made me physically sick. And I had you to raise. I poured myself into doing that. Plus…” She toyed with the stem of her wine glass. “Plus, I suppose there was a tiny part of me holding out hope that he would come back.” She snorted. “Pathetic, isn’t it?”
“No…” Kylie’s voice was firm. When Rhonda looked up again, she expected to see a pitying look on her daughter’s face. Or disgust. It was neither. It was worry. “You loved him. Is that why you never dated anyone while I was growing up?”
“That, and because I had you,” she said with a smile. “While thinking of your father made me ill, thinking of you, taking care of you…that made me happier than you could ever know. I threw myself into that, and eventually, your father didn’t matter to me anymore. Nor did any other man, really. I can’t say any viable alternatives have come along, making me want to jump back into the dating scene.”
Kylie smiled. “I could set you up with Greg. He’s successful, and he treats me like a daughter.”
Rhonda waved that idea away. “For the hundredth time, no. He’s such a grouch.”
“Yes, but he’s a nice grouch. You and your optimism could balance him out.”
Rhonda finally picked up her fork and cut into her lasagna. “Sweetheart, I’m happy just as I am.”
Following her mother’s lead, Kylie picked up her fork as well. “Thank you for telling me all of that. I know it couldn’t be easy. I’ve wanted to know more about him for forever.”
Rhonda smiled. “You’ve always loved mysteries.”
Yet another reason why she hadn’t spoken of her disaster of a marriage until today. Her daughter was a digger. Not only that, she was on her way to becoming a very successful private investigator. She had a knack for turning up things, especially missing people. She’d probably have no trouble learning just what Adam Hatfield had been up to all this time.
But Rhonda wasn’t sure if she wanted to know.
Actually, she was positive she didn’t want to. She was content with her life. What was the point?
“Well, if you go digging and find something about him…don’t tell me.”
Kylie looked at her like she was insane. “Are you telling me that there isn’t even a small part of you that wonders where he went? The only man you have ever loved just leaves you without any good explanation, and you don’t care why he did it or where he went?”
She shook her head, almost in slow motion. “Nope.”
Kylie eyed her suspiciously, until finally, Rhonda cracked. She held her thumb and forefinger up so that they were a centimeter apart. “Okay. A small part, but I’m not willing to experience the pain that I know will come with that knowledge.”
“But, Mom. He can’t have remarried. You said it yourself. You never got a divorce.”
She let out a long breath. “I know he isn’t wondering about me, so what difference does it make?”
“How do you know that? Maybe he is. Maybe he’s ruing the day he ever walked out on you and wishes he could make amends, but he doesn’t know how.”
Rhonda stared at her kind, glass-always-full daughter. “Sweetheart, you really think he can make amends? He can’t. That ship has sailed. Nothing he can say would be of interest to me. He may have been the love of my life, but that part of my life is over, and there’s no room for him any longer. Like I said, I’m in a good place right now.”
“Oh, come on, Mom.” Kylie gave her mother a disappointed shake of her head. “Don’t you want a happily ever after?”
Rhonda gritted her teeth. Yes, she had once been an avid reader of romance novels. All those lonely nights, she had wondered what it would be like to have some Prince Charming come sweep her off her feet. She’d dared to believe that Adam was that someone, even years afterwards. She would dream that he’d only been confused or coerced in some way and would come crawling back for her. But those dreams had faded.
And that was fine. They were clearly ridiculous and deserved to remain buried. Maybe some people were just meant to live their lives alone, and maybe she was one of those people.
Rather than acknowledge her daughter’s look of disappointment, Rhonda stabbed her fork into her lasagna. It was cold. She stood and picked up both plates. “Let me just pop this in the micro.”
Kylie called after her, “Well, even if you don’t want to know, I’m going to track him down. I have all the tools. It’d only take a little searching. I could know exactly where he’s been and what he’s been up to by tonight. I won’t get in contact with him, but I just want to know what he’s been up to all these years. Okay?”
Rhonda didn’t answer. The moment Kylie had started asking about Adam Hatfield, she knew her child was going to chase him down. Her daughter never backed down where a challenge was concerned.
Her daughter had been shot, and she’d survived a car crash down the mountain. But Rhonda worried that her sweet girl wouldn’t survive the disappointment of getting turned away by her deadbeat father.
4
Something changed in her mother that night.
Kylie felt it right away, in the way her mother didn’t try to coax her to stay for another slice of Key Lime Pie. Not only that, she’d looked exhausted, like she’d just been through a particularly harrowing war.
When Kylie finished her slice, her mother hadn’t begged her to stay a little longer. And she knew why. Their discussion regarding Adam Hatfield was the culprit.
And it was all her fault.
It surprised Kylie when Rhonda picked up the picture of their tiny family, and instead of tossing it into the trash, she used a magnet to stick it to the freezer door. She smiled at Kylie. “Maybe if I look at him enough, the pain will fade. A wound never heals if kept under a bandage.”
She’d never been more proud of her mother than at that moment.
When she got to the door, she gave her mother a big hug. Rhonda hugged her back, tight as ever, but she seemed smaller, somehow. Kylie knew she was the nervous type and often suffered bouts of insomnia. She hoped their discussion wouldn’t keep her awake all night.
“It’s okay, Mom,” she said, inhaling the familiar scent of her Estee Lauder perfume. “If you don’t want to know what I find out, fine. I’ll keep it to my grave.”
Rhonda tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t. I just hope he won’t disappoint you. God knows our family has suffered enough disappointment at his hands. I’d hate for whatever you learn to add to it.”
“He won’t,” Kylie said, kissing her sweet-smelling cheek. “Call you tomorrow. With absolutely no news of Adam Hatfield.”
She crossed her heart and held up her palm in oath.
Rhonda managed a smile, said goodbye, and closed the door tight behind Kylie.
Kylie walked down the steps with Vader at her heels, feeling like she’d wounded her mother. Rhonda Hatfield had never said goodbye with quite so little enthusiasm before.
Guilt flooded her as she walked down the street to the “hellayella” Jeep Wrangler she bought with the bonus she’d been given from her last big case. She loved it.
Greg had rolled his eyes, asking how she ever thought she’d be able to go incognito with “that Big Bird looking thing,” and even though he had a point, she didn’t have the heart to pick out a more neutral color. Plus, this was the mountains. Everyone drove a four-wheel drive and in a variety of colors, so she didn’t stand out that much.
Vader loved it too, especially when she took the top down and his ears could fly in the wind. He’d also gotten much better about chewing, and so far, all the headrests and seat cushions were intact.
After the big Newfoundland mix peed on every bush and tree along the way, she loaded him inside and sat at the steering wheel for a long time, looking up at her mother’s house.
On one hand, Adam Hatfield had been a bastard for deserting his brand-new family, but on the other, at least he’d taken care of them in a couple important ways, which was more than some men did.
Kylie studied the house. Why this one? Why Asheville?
Rhonda Hatfield was from a little town near Atlanta, Georgia and had been on her own since her parents died in a freak car accident when she was only nineteen.
So much loss.
It was strange to miss people she’d never met, but Kylie used to look through the photo albums containing picture after picture of her late grandparents, wishing they’d still been alive so that, if something bad happened and her mom disappeared, she’d at least have someone on this earth she could turn to.
Vader licked Kylie’s face, and it was only then that she realized she was crying. She pulled the dog close and buried her face in his soft fur. “I’m not alone, am I, boy,” she cooed to him. “I’ll always have you.”
And her mom. And Linc.
At least she hoped so.
Wiping her face, Kylie watched the light go on in her mother’s bedroom. The same room her mother had never shared with a man, to her knowledge at least. She briefly wondered how long it’d been since her mother had sex, and then cringed and pushed away the thought. But she still found the idea sad that a woman as sweet as her mother lacked that kind of intimacy.
Her mother had done everything for Kylie, and never thought of herself. Though Rhonda Hatfield seemed happy, Kylie wasn’t so sure how much was a facade. Something told Kylie that she was missing a part of life that would make her even happier, that she was lonely, and just scared of putting herself out there.
Her phone dinged with a text. She looked over at the lighted screen. It was from Linc. Home now. You on your way?
Home. He meant the sweet mountain farmhouse he’d inherited from his grandparents, where she’d been practically living the past several weeks. Sure, it was his home, but whenever she heard that word, she still thought of her apartment right outside of the UNC Campus. The home he wanted her to leave behind and permanently move in with him. But something about relinquishing it made her heart race.
She loved Linc, and she believed that he loved her too, although neither of them had officially said the words out loud.
There was no other reason for keeping the apartment other than that she was scared. Scared of being abandoned. Scared of having nowhere to go. Scared that she would suddenly get itchy and want to leave too.
And thinking of what her father had done, she now had a very good reason for those fears.
But she didn’t have to make any decisions now.
She quickly thumbed in, Yes. On my way.
She turned the key in the ignition and the powerful four-wheel drive roared to life, making her smile. But the expression faded away as her mind quickly fell back into just what steps she’d need to take to track down her father.
He was probably still living in New York City. Kylie had always wanted to live there. She loved Asheville, but she sometimes wanted more excitement, more people, more everything. That was probably from Adam Hatfield’s DNA, since her mother liked her peace and quiet.
When she was a kid, she’d imagined growing up and living in the big city after she graduated college. Then reality set in. When she was looking at colleges, she thought she might like to go away to the city, but quickly squashed that idea. With her gone, her mother would have no one.
Driving up the mountain, Kylie refused to look at the place where her Mazda met its demise. The guardrail was bright and shiny now, but she didn’t think the sound of the old one giving way would be something she’d ever forget.
She pulled into the long, winding dirt and gravel driveway that led up to Linc’s secluded farmhouse at around nine. He always said to her, “It’s not my home. It’s our home.” But, so far, she hadn’t been able to call it that. He’d given her full reign to do anything she wanted. She could put her toiletries where she wanted, decorate the rooms as she pleased…but had she? No. No matter how comfortable she got in his home, she couldn’t help thinking that all of this was a temporary little blip in her life.
The porch light was on, spotlighting Linc sitting out on the porch with Storm, sipping at a beer, wearing his standard cargo pants and a tight t-shirt that stretched across his muscular frame. Her heart skipped when she saw him. He was just so damn handsome, it still made her insides flutter. He had one of those faces like a movie star; perfect at all angles, and so damn watchable that you couldn’t help staring at it.
“Hey,” he said, meeting her at the Jeep and wiping a shock of brown hair from his forehead. When she first met him, his hair was the high-and-tight military fashion, and she enjoyed how he was, literally, letting his hair down a bit.
“I hope you’re hungry for lasagna and key lime pie,” she said, holding up two big Tupperware containers. Her mother never let her go anywhere without leftovers.
“Of course, you know I love your mom’s cooking,” he said absently, like that was the last thing on his mind. He was staring not at the containers, but at her, in a meaningful way, like one would before giving a speech of great importance.
As she approached, he stood and began to reach into his pocket.
Her stomach lurched.
Oh, no. Wrong time. Definitely the wrong time. Kylie’s thoughts were frantic. Not here. Not now. Not when all I’m doing is thinking of my jerk of a father.
When Linc looked at the ground, like he was trying to find a place to plant his knee, she quickly skirted past him and onto the porch, like a kid trying to avoid the classmate with cooties in the schoolyard.
What am I, twelve?
She turned around and faced him as he followed her. He was giving her a curious look. His lips parted, but before he could get a word out, Kylie jumped in. “You know. You need a haircut.” As if to reinforce the words, she reached out and pushed back that same shock of hair, which had again fallen onto his tanned forehead. The hair was also starting to curl at his ears a little, giving him the first sideburns she’d ever seen on him.
She studied it, fully aware his eyes were on her, questioning, appraising. The temperature went up a thousand degrees.
“You just noticed?” he asked, taking an empty hand out of his pocket and running it through his hair. Whew. Crisis averted. “My barber retired last month.”
She gave him a look. Sometimes, the man was so set in his ways, he let all common sense go out the window. “So, are you just going to let it grow until it reaches the floor?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. My barber knew how to get it just right.”
Kylie sighed. “It’s not rocket science. I’m sure any person out there could get it right. I bet I could even do it. Do you have clippers?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Inside.”
She tittered nervously and opened the screen door. At least cutting his hair would help her take her mind off her father, and maybe get him to second-guess giving her whatever was in his pocket. “Well, I didn’t mean on your person. Come on.”
She went inside, and he followed. A few minutes later, he was seated in the bathroom, and she had a pair of clippers in her hand. Was she insane? She’d never clipped a guy’s hair before. Just the fact that he was sitting in front of her, allowing her to do this sho
wed how much he trusted her. But she didn’t trust herself. Her eyes slowly drifted to the bulge in his pocket. It was big enough to be a ring.
Oh, god.
“Are you okay?” Linc asked, nearly making her jump.
Her eyes met his in the bathroom mirror. She nodded and looked at herself. She was holding the clippers in a white-knuckled death grip, and her hand was visibly trembling.
“Oh, sure. Just contemplating how to start,” she said, running a hand through his hair. She thought of what her hairdressers usually said to her before they started clipping. “What are we doing here?”
He let out a confused laugh. “Uh. Cutting it? The way it was before?”
“Yes. Right.” She flipped on the clippers and brought the buzzing contraption to the back of his head. Even before it made contact, she was already sure this was going to be a disaster.
“Have you…ever done this before?” he asked.
She met his gaze in the mirror. “No, but how hard can it be?”
“Just…whatever. I can always wear a ball cap if you screw it up too much,” he said with a shrug.
“Right.” She moved the shaver up the back of his head and nearly had a heart attack when almost all the hair fell away. She looked at the clippers, remembering something about a guard. Looking back at the wide strip of nearly bald head, she mentally shrugged. Too late for that now.
“How was your search and rescue?” she asked to take his mind off what she was doing to his head.
“Fine. The administration was worried he’d been abducted but fortunately it wasn’t the case. Kid wanted to get out of a math test, so he played hooky by taking what he thought was a shortcut back home. Then he got lost and couldn’t find his way back. We found him about three miles out of the way. Shaken but okay.”
She tried to listen but again she found herself thinking of Adam Hatfield. When she was done with this, if she could get away from Linc for a little bit, she could use her laptop and start pulling together information on him. Then she could—
“Whoa…that’s short.”
She blinked as that same shock of hair she’d touched earlier slipped through her fingers and landed on Linc’s lap. She looked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked a little like Mr. Clean. “Oh. Um…”