Walks Alone

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by Sandi Rog


  Her carpetbag grew heavy, so she changed hands. It was heavy there too, so she wrapped her arms around it and hugged it against her chest. She pressed her dry, chapped lips together, aching for something to drink. Dizziness swept over her, and her steps faltered.

  Just as they neared some trees, one of the wagons jerked to a stop. The owner shouted, and the men jumped down to assess the damage. From their angry expressions, she concluded they’d be stuck there for a while. Thank goodness they were near some trees. She could hide herself and find the stone, then maybe someone would give her a drink.

  Shade.

  She needed shade. Her legs and arms weighed her down like heavy boulders as she walked in that direction. If only she could take off her cumbersome dress and feel the air against her hot skin. She came upon a slight hill that had been impossible to see because the land was the same light brown color all around, blending itself perfectly together. Just over the hill, she spotted a small river running between some trees.

  Water.

  Holding up her skirt, she stumbled along the hill toward the trees and stepped down the incline toward the fast flowing river. Just the sound of its rushing made her heart skip. How refreshing and enticing. Its coolness called out to her. Grasshoppers leaped at every step and swing of her skirt, mosquitoes swarmed around her face, and the ground took on a life of its own, moving beneath her feet. The pounding in her head increased as she neared the bank. She dropped at the water’s edge ready to dip her face and mouth under the current.

  “Don’t drink the water!” Beth shouted behind her. She came running down the steep embankment with a pitcher in hand. “This is safe to drink. I’ve heard horrible stories of people getting sick from open rivers like this one. You should always boil the water first.”

  With trembling fingers, Anna grabbed the pitcher. She hated being rude, but desperation took over as she gulped down its contents with eagerness. It poured down her chin and bodice.

  “Not so fast, slow down. You’ll make yourself sick.”

  Anna noticed her sunburned hands and wondered how awful her face must look. But the relief of the water took her mind off her appearance.

  “I tried to bring you some sooner, but Al wouldn’t let me.” Beth crossed her arms, frowning and shaking her head. “He said he wanted his payment first.”

  Anna licked her lips, moistening them in order to make the chapped, dry feeling go away. She motioned around her. “This is as good a place as any for me to find that stone. No one can see me here.”

  “I’ll help you. First, let me go warn the others to keep their distance. I’d hate for you to be undressed and one of them come traipsing over here.” Beth hiked up her skirt and headed up the bank.

  Anna opened her carpetbag and took out her buttonhook then one by one unbuttoned her dress. Once all the buttons were undone, she slipped out of the hot, thick mass of material and shook out of her bustle. She reached behind her hips and yanked on her corset stays, allowing more air to fill her lungs. What a relief to be out of that heavy garment. There was a benefit to wearing maid’s clothes—they weren’t nearly as cumbersome.

  She gulped another drink from the water pitcher and stood in the open air in her chemise, looking around to make sure no one was watching. Tall grass, trees and thick bushes covered the other side of the bank. All was quiet except for the sounds of insects and the water rippling over rocks along the bank’s bed, calling her to its refreshment.

  Since she was already undressed, this would be a good time to cool off. She sat down, took off her boots and unhooked her stocking. With ease, she slid the stocking down her leg.

  Chapter Three

  “Let’s take that one,” Running Cloud whispered in Cheyenne to White Eagle as they watched the woman by the river.

  White Eagle kept low behind the thick shrubs and tall grass. He stared at the woman whose skin was white like snow as she stretched out her leg and ran her fingers along its length to remove the second stocking.

  When she stood, she placed her hands on her waist, emphasizing the flare of her hips beneath her thin, white dress. She tilted her head and removed her hat then worked to take down her hair. Long, yellow hair cascaded to one side, down her back and around her. It curtained her body all the way to her knees as she shook out the pins. She then ran her fingers through her mane, catching the sun’s light.

  Never had White Eagle seen so much yellow hair. He glanced at Running Cloud who crouched next to him. Beneath his paint, Running Cloud’s eyes widened. Together they looked back at the woman.

  Her hair was now pulled over one shoulder, and she glanced around as though she were looking for something, as though she’d lost something on the ground. Hands on hips, she stopped over her boots. For a long time she studied them, as though she expected them to walk off on their own.

  Finally, she lifted the thin material of her skirt, kicked one boot over and quickly jumped away. When the boot didn’t move—he assumed she expected it to move—she kicked the other one and jumped back again. Keeping her focus on the boots, she knelt down, reached out and picked them up. She then bent forward, holding them as far away from her as possible, and shook them out. Nothing came out of the boots, and she cautiously peered inside them as though she were looking for something but afraid of what she might find. Pursing her lips, she bound the boots together by their laces and hung them around her neck.

  White Eagle and Running Cloud tossed a side-glance at each other. They shrugged.

  She turned her back to them to unbind something from around her waist.

  White Eagle held his breath as he crept forward to get a better look.

  She tossed a small pouch on a nearby rock, turned, and stepped toward the river. When she came to the edge of the bank, she dipped her foot in the water and gasped. Slowly, she stepped into the river and moved in up to her knees. The water tugged on the white material of her dress, dragging it into the current. She then moved in up to her waist.

  With hair cascading over her back, she closed her eyes, lifted her face to the sky and sighed. A slight breeze blew loose strands of hair away from the young woman’s partially burnt face and arms. Her hair lit up like gold under the sun.

  White Eagle hoped Running Cloud wouldn’t notice his fascination with the young woman. Never had any woman affected him this way. She looked like a ghost, floating over the water.

  She moved in deeper but stopped.

  He stopped breathing.

  She held her boots over her head and dipped herself in up to her neck, releasing another long sigh. The water washed around her, taking the ends of her dress with it, gently pulling the fabric and her hair into a milky-white wave. Obviously her arms grew weary as she continued to hold the boots above the water, so she balanced them on her head.

  His lips tugged into a smile. He cast a side-glance at his friend and realized Running Cloud was watching him. White Eagle forced a frown.

  Again, she looked around but didn’t see them hidden in the nearby grass. She held the boots in the air high above the water’s surface, dipped her head completely under, and sat on the riverbed.

  “That white woman is strange.” Running Cloud pinched his lips together as if he’d tasted something nasty.

  “White women are all strange, and they’re cowards. That one’s afraid of her own boots.”

  “Hmm. She’s not lazy like the others. How many other white women did you see walking? She was the only one not sitting beside her man on those boxes pulled by horses.”

  “I don’t think she had a choice,” White Eagle said.

  “If you think she’s such a coward, why don’t we go down there and see her reaction? Even better, I’ll hold her down and you can take her.”

  White Eagle glared at him. A feather danced from the braid over his friend’s shoulder, and for the first time in all their years together, White Eagle wanted to drive his knuckles into his face. Despite the Indian wars and the number of soldiers he’d killed, White Eagle had never ravish
ed a woman. So why would Running Cloud suggest he do such a thing now?

  “I have another plan,” White Eagle said, trying to make him forget the idea. “I’ll go down to the bank. I bet she’ll take one look at me and panic.” There was something about this woman that drew him. The need to test her bravery was strong. Would she react like the other whites?

  Running Cloud grunted, shaking his head.

  “She will,” White Eagle said. “All white women are the same. I’ll go down there, and if she panics, you give me the saber you took off that soldier at Summit Springs.”

  “You can go down there, but that’s not enough. Let’s watch them for two suns. If she’s a coward, I’ll give you the saber. But if she acts with bravery, I get your breast plate.”

  ~*~

  Anna stayed under the water and faced upstream so that the current’s force would pull the loose strands of hair away from her face. It reminded her of the times her father used to take her to the beach in Scheveningen and swimming in the canals in Holland. It’d been that long since she’d done anything enjoyable like this.

  The coolness enveloped her as she floated over the riverbed. What an invigorating delight. Her body cried out for her to stay under as long as possible. She continued to hold her boots up out of the water when the shadow of a figure standing on the embankment caught her eye.

  After coming up, she rubbed the water from her eyes.

  Beth gasped. “Anna, what are you doing?”

  “It feels wonderful! Why don’t you join me?”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t dare. Al would tan my hide.”

  Anna rose and climbed out of the water’s delicious pool, her pleasure short-lived. It wasn’t fair for her to enjoy its refreshment if Beth couldn’t join her.

  “Oh, my.” Beth’s eyes widened as Anna stepped out of the water. “Pray that no one comes near the embankment. Forgive me for being so blunt, but I can see right through your chemise.”

  Anna gasped, and her gaze darted to the trees. Thankfully, she didn’t see any peering eyes or unwelcome visitors. Letting her boots fall down around her neck, she grabbed her dress and plopped herself on a flat rock next to her new friend.

  The two of them bent over the gown in search of the semi-precious stone. Anna dripped water on her dress, but she didn’t care. It felt more than wonderful to be wet.

  “I’m sorry Al wouldn’t allow the others to help you,” Beth whispered.

  “You don’t need to apologize. You’re not responsible for his behavior. Besides, the others didn’t seem interested in helping me anyway.”

  “They think you’re rich.” Beth glanced at her, and then looked quickly down at the dress. “I mean, with your nice clothes and all, and then because you’re traveling alone, and when you mentioned the jewel, well, I guess they all got hungry for money.”

  “I’m certainly not rich, and I do owe you something for letting me travel with your wagon train. Food isn’t free, I know.” She glanced back down at the dress. “I’ve found it.” She tore through the threads and out fell the small jewel.

  She set the stone next to her money pouch and stood. Balancing one foot on a rock, she slipped her stockings over her damp leg and hooked them one by one to her garter. She then tied her money pouch back around her waist, pulled on her boots and reached for her corset.

  “You’re not going to put that on over your wet chemise, are you?”

  Anna shrugged. “I can’t very well wait for it to dry. Someone might come and find me this way.” She rubbed her hand along the cotton. “It’s dry in some places already.” She pulled the clinging fabric away from her shoulder.

  “In what places?”

  Both of them laughed, but Anna wasn’t about to wait for it to dry. It felt good anyway to have the moisture against her skin. Beth helped her slip back into her corset and started doing up the stays along her back.

  How nice to have a new friend. Anna sensed Beth needed one as much as she did. She knew how helpless and alone Beth must feel. The woman was so beautiful, Anna couldn’t understand why Al would be so cruel.

  “I’m sorry Al hurts you,” Anna whispered.

  Birds twittered and a sparrow’s singing danced on the air, contrasting with the sudden tension pulling between Anna and Beth. The silence stretched out with Beth’s tugging as she tightened the last stay. Anna braced her legs to keep her balance. She was sorry she’d said anything. Nobody had ever talked to her about Uncle Horace’s beatings, and she thought Beth might want to talk or know that someone cared. After the final jerk on the was tied, she turned to face Beth.

  Tears streamed down Beth’s cheeks as she handed Anna her bustle and skirt.

  “I’m so sorry.” Anna placed her hand on her chest, then lowered it again so she could attach the bustle and step into the skirt. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  Beth gave her a shy smile. “I’m not hurt that you spoke about it. In fact, you’re the only one who seems to have noticed. The others haven’t said anything, probably because they feel it’s not their business.” She held out Anna’s dress jacket and helped her in it. “Thank you.”

  After struggling into the well-fitted fabric, Anna grabbed her buttonhook.

  “I try to find my strength in the Lord,” Beth said.

  Her words surprised Anna. She’d learned the hard way that the Lord didn’t keep bad things from happening. How Beth could find strength in that, she didn’t know. She finished the last button and tossed her buttonhook into her carpetbag.

  “I’m unable to have children.” Beth sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Now Al feels I’ve ruined his life. He’ll never be able to have the son he’s always wanted.” She sighed. “That’s all he used to talk about before we were married three years ago. He loved me back then. And now I don’t have any family left.”

  “Oh, Beth, I’m so sorry.” Anna stepped closer to give her a hug.

  “Beth, woman!” Al’s voice boomed from the top of the bank, causing both women to jump. “Why ain’t you fixing my supper? Get your lazy self up here and get to work.”

  Beth gave Anna a weary smile and climbed up the embankment.

  Al glared at Beth, and as she walked past him, he knocked her upside the head. He then scowled at Anna, his thumbs in his suspenders. “Where’s my payment?”

  Anna snatched it from the rock, climbed up the embankment, and handed Al the stone. It was the first time she saw him smile, and it was a wicked one at that.

  She trudged back down to the river and drank from the pitcher until it was empty. When she knelt over and splashed water on her hot face, its coolness tempted her again. She pulled her hair over her shoulder and let it soak in the flowing current, watching as the water drew her long tresses downstream.

  It had been a rough trip since Cheyenne, and they’d traveled nearly all day. Despite the scorching heat and the lack of water, it was worth it. She had gained a new friend. Beth seemed to be a caring person, and Anna would hold her kindness close to her heart. She was thrilled with the thought of them possibly being neighbors. She’d never had a friend before, and maybe Anna could be the kind of friend to Beth she herself had needed all these years.

  Twisting her hair, she wrung out the water. When she looked up, a wild man stood watching her on the other side of the river.

  Her breath caught in her throat.

  He stood with a self-assured stance, his legs braced apart and his hands at his sides. A tan breechcloth hung at his bare waist, and his beige, buckskin leggings with fringed flaps emphasized his height. Silver armbands clamped just above his elbows, and black hair with feathers brushed over his shoulders in the slight wind, sending loose strands over his face, half covered in a black mask of paint.

  Her heart galloped in her chest. She swallowed hard and waited for him to move or speak. When he did nothing, she forced her gaze from him and turned to see if Al was still at the top of the embankment. He’d already left.

  She looked back to the Indian.

  He was gon
e.

  ~*~

  Two days later, Anna trudged behind the wagons again. Despite payment, Al still wouldn’t let her ride with any of the settlers.

  After seeing the Indian, she hadn’t been sure if she ought to tell the others. She didn’t want to be responsible for frightening everyone, but in the end she finally did talk to one of the men—not Al.

  They had searched high and low for this so-called Indian, only to conclude that she had a wild imagination. Incensed by the memory, she tightened her arms around her carpetbag. Why would she dream up such a thing?

  He was just as real as any of them.

  To think . . . she had finally seen a real Indian. Papa would have been thrilled. He probably would have tried to befriend the savage. She giggled at the thought.

  The sun’s heat bore down on her head as usual, and a tumbleweed brushed against the hem of her dress, mocking her with its spindly limbs and dry branches. Just like the desolate bush, she might blow away, far away over the brown hills of sandy terrain. Hopefully, Beth would soon be allowed to bring her some water.

  Dust from the wagons assailed her. If only she could ride with Beth.

  A snake scurried across her path, and Anna squealed as it disappeared into a hole.

  Watch out for them snakes. They’ll crawl into your boots at night.

  Anna could still see the ticket agent in Cheyenne, gnawing on his toothpick and leaning on the counter as he said those words. She had slept with her boots on, and after three days of traveling with these settlers, her feet punished her.

  Denver City was just hours away. Surely, a bit of discomfort was worth the trouble in light of that fact.

  She kept a comfortable distance between her and the others, not wanting to be in the way. Why must she be a burden to these people too? Two wagons could have fit between her and the one she followed. The ground spun, while the sounds of locusts and other insects buzzed in her ears. Her legs felt heavy, and her feet ached.

 

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