I tell Logan I’ll see him tomorrow and then I leave the room and walk down the hall, passing Gigi as I go.
I keep walking down the hall and through the hospital until I’ve left the building. I take a seat on an outdoor bench and breathe in the stifling hot Texas air.
My pulse is going haywire.
Because for all the moments Logan Wild and I have shared, for all the times he’s had my back…this little moment we just spent together…it was everything and nothing all at once.
It confused the heck out of me.
Logan’s alive. He’s healthy. And that’s all that matters.
I try to ignore the twinge of pain that hasn’t left my chest since I felt his hot hand on my knee. Or the way his breath lit me on fire when it grazed my neck as I hugged him.
But, I have to get used to it quickly. Logan’s wedding day is right around the corner. And any late nights of us together as more than friends…are gone.
Except…
I can’t ignore the odd feeling in my gut when Logan squeezed my knee.
“He squeezed your knee?” Ginny asks me the next day as she sips on a ginger ale at the bar and I wait for Dye to order another drink.
“Shh.” I glance over her shoulder at Dye, who’s just begun a game of ball with a restless Rusty.
“He’s distracted,” Ginny assures me. “Tell me more about your knee.”
I laugh. “There’s nothing to tell! Like I said, he lightly squeezed it after I asked him if something was going on.”
“And you think it was some sort of signal about his engagement.” Ginny purses her lips. “I bet it was! But what could the secret be? And do you think Blake knows?”
“I don’t think he does,” I say. “Because he’s been really frustrated and acting like he’s trying to pull the story out of Logan.”
I’ve just caught one of Dye’s errant passes and am in the process of wiping Rusty’s drool off my hand when Ginny points her straw at me.
“You know who I bet knows.” She opens her mouth, but I’m already beating her to it.
“Luke.”
She nods. “He’s driving back to Montana as soon as he’s sure Logan’s okay. And you said Logan went home this morning, right?”
I nod. “I offered to pick him up at the hospital, but his mama wanted to do it. She has him staying in his childhood bedroom in the main house so she can baby him.” I smile. “She thinks he’ll get better faster if she can take care of him. I’m going to go visit him later on.”
“You know what we should do?” Ginny says, a sneaky smile lighting her face. “Pay Mr. Wild and his Montana cousin a friendly visit together. That way, we can pump Luke for anything he knows.”
“How will we separate Logan from Luke, though?” I rest my chin on my hand and think. “We can’t exactly ask Luke for information with Logan sitting right there.”
Ginny snaps her fingers. “Tell Logan you want to read him more entries from your diary. Tell him he’s the only one that can help free you from your painful past.”
“Seriously?” I sigh. “Is that the best idea you’ve got? Reading to Logan almost got us into trouble last time. It felt so intimate.”
“But effective,” Ginny reminds me. “Right? You said you really made headway with your writing afterward.”
“Not exactly. I’ve tried to steer my subconscious mind away from incorporating him into my novel.”
“Stop trying so hard.” Ginny pats my hand. “You read to Logan, and I’ll sweet talk Luke.”
“Hey,” Ben says as he returns from dealing with a liquor delivery out back.
Ginny and I look at each other. The second Ben steps behind the bar, I grab my purse, and Ginny jumps off her stool.
“Can you watch over things for a few minutes, Benny? We have to go see someone.”
Chapter Four
Logan
“Christ.” I glare at Blake as he tries to get me into yet another round of poker. “You’ve been cleaning up.”
Luke, Brayden, Blake, and I have been sitting in my childhood bedroom since lunchtime. Blake got his dad to agree to let him skip work for the afternoon so he could hang out with me. And he convinced Luke and Brayden to stay another night so we’d have more players for poker.
“I need a fucking break.” I push away the cards. “Get out of here. All of you.”
Blake and Brayden leave, but Luke hangs back.
“How are you planning to get through the next couple of weeks till your wedding?” he asks me in a low tone. “Is Macey suspicious? You need to be careful.”
“I will be.” I don’t tell him how I almost spilled the truth to her at the hospital. “I’m trying.”
At the knock on the door, Luke whips around.
“Knock, knock.” Ginny and Macey are in the doorway. Both of them have big smiles on their faces.
Macey’s wearing her sexy, lilac top paired with my favorite jeans of hers, the ones that hug her hips and show off her gorgeous curves. She’s got a bouquet of wildflowers in her hand.
“What are those for?” I ask.
“For you, silly.”
I smile. “They’re pretty. Thank you.”
“I picked them on our way over.”
Mama walks down the hallway and stops to exclaim over the flowers. She says she’ll take them and find the “best vase in the house” to show them off.
“Oh, and I’m glad you’re both here.” She reaches into her apron pocket and pulls out the airline tickets Mrs. Phillips had dropped off this morning. “These are for you two,” she says as she hands a ticket each to Macey and then Ginny.
“What is this?” Macey’s voice is strained.
“Gigi’s daddy bought a block of tickets for guests for a commercial flight to Orlando on the fourth. The hotel’s been paid for, too.” Mama points to the ticket in Macey’s hand. “Logan and Gigi will have their renewal wedding in Florida on the seventh, but they’ll have the official wedding here on the second. Right at The Cowherd.”
Silence hits the room.
Eventually, Luke breaks the awkwardness by asking if my dad will be joining us in Florida.
Mama heaves a big sigh. “Who knows? He says he can’t take the time off. But I’m still working on him.”
She leaves then with the flowers.
Once the four of us are alone again, Ginny makes a big show of gesturing to Macey’s purse.
“Mace, don’t you want to read to Logan in private?”
“Read me what?” I ask.
“Her diary.” Ginny pats Macey’s arm. “She needs your help, Logan.”
Macey shoots Ginny a death look. “I didn’t exactly say that, Gin.”
“Luke, let’s give them some privacy.” Ginny’s already grabbing him by the arm. He doesn’t move as she tugs at him. “Plus, I need to talk to you about something.”
Instead, he glances at me. I know what he’s thinking. Macey and Ginny want to split us up so they can conduct some sort of interrogation.
I’m not worried about Luke cracking. Heck, he’ll barely tell me anything.
“What do you want to talk about?” he asks Ginny.
“Gin needs some advice about her upcoming wedding,” Macey says.
“I’ve never been married,” he points out.
“Exactly.” Macey rubs her nose like she always does when she’s full of shit. “Ginny needs to talk to a man who’s single. And possibly celibate.”
“What the hell…” Luke growls, and I hide a laugh. “I’m not fucking celibate…it sounds like Ginny needs to talk to a priest.”
“Nope.” Macey grabs Luke’s other arm, and together she and Ginny drag him an inch or two. “Ginny needs a big brother type to unload her problems onto. Go, Luke. Be that man for her. Please.”
I wave him off. “Go, Wild. If you don’t, these two will just find another way to lasso you.”
Macey
I don’t know how much time Ginny needs to try to pull something out of Luke.
Luke is a typical cowboy—he’s comfortable with long silences and won’t feel pressured into anything. The idea of Ginny successfully learning any secrets from him is almost laughable.
But anything is worth a try.
And in order to help her out, I need to keep Logan busy.
So I take a seat at the edge of Logan’s bed and pull my diary out of my purse.
“Would you like a bedtime story?” I say teasingly.
He nods at the diary. “Go for it.”
“Okay.” I quickly skip past the entry when we were seventeen. That one is definitely way too sexually-charged to read out loud.
“I’ll try this one,” I say as I flip to the next page. I glance at Logan for second. His clear eyes focus intensely on me as I begin.
Daddy went to rehab again, but this time, he stuck it out for four whole weeks. And when he came out, he claimed he was a changed man, a God-fearing man. He carries a little Bible around with him now and has several passages bookmarked for whenever he feels tempted by the drink. I pretty much figure that’s all the time since he runs a saloon, but he and Mama have been talking about getting someone in to run it for him. I know they’re thinking of me when I graduate high school, and I’m willing to entertain the idea. For now. If something better pops up before I graduate, well then, I’ll have to figure out what to do.
“Something better has popped up,” Logan says. “Your writing.”
So Mama and Daddy are back together, and they kept their word and officially re-married. I was Mama’s maiden of honor, and Riley was a bridesmaid. I held Ben, and Riley held Freedom. Mama and Daddy kissed at the altar—honestly, it was a little embarrassing how long they made out for. I finally kicked Mama in the heel from behind, and she claims she still has the bruise. But you know how she exaggerates.
The ceremony didn’t fix much, though. Mama still throws things, and Daddy still ducks.
And in March, our whole town got excited because the mayor was convinced we’d found the soul mates to free Jane Austen’s ghost. The bride, Agnes Simpson, was said to be the last living descendant to the town founder, and she and her fiancé seemed so adorable and perfect together. She even wore a period piece for her wedding dress, from the Victorian era of course, and it looked so pretty on her. They wrote their own vows and got married at The Cowherd, and Agnes spoke about how, even though she never met her ancestor, she knew in her heart that town founder Frederick Haskins never meant to imprison somebody’s spirit for eternity like he has. He just wanted his wife to be happy again.
It was such a happy day in Darcy. Mama and Daddy were sitting together so nicely, Logan and I were flirting, and the wedding took place without a hitch. Then, everybody raced to the liquor room and threw open the door to see Cell Number One.
Of course, the cell door was still locked up tight, and people were so disappointed and angry that Agnes and Rick have disappeared on an extended honeymoon to Greece, and nobody knows when they’ll be back.
Then, the whole town seemed to unravel. Daddy lost his Bible. Once that happened, he apparently lost his will along with it because his breath stunk of alcohol again. And that’s when Mama and Daddy officially divorced once more, and on that same day, Logan’s father nearly lost his farm to bankruptcy. Mr. Wild was so angry he didn’t speak to anyone for over three weeks, not even to say “thank you” for passing the butter. Dave cheated on Ginny with Samantha Loma, this little flirt who may be cute but has no brains in her head, not a single one. Ginny hasn’t forgiven him yet.
And Mama has given up cooking. That’s right. She says she’s no good at it and never was, so she’s asked me to take over the duties when I’m around. Granted, she taught me everything I know, so I know she’s bluffing and just wants out. But truth be told, I love to cook. I’m happy to do it. At least, for now because, although Daddy’s still living down the street with his brother, he’s been coming by more and more lately. Mama’s been dating other men, and I think Daddy’s finally jealous. This town’s too small for him to not have heard all the gory details. Like how Mama’s dress for her first date was cut so low you could see whatever you wanted. That’s what Jimmy Hendel told me at school. I stepped on both his feet with mine until he howled and took it back. Logan happened by with Blake just as Jimmy was rescinding. Logan asked me if I needed any help, but I had it under control. Now Jimmy’s been ostracized. Good.
“I’m sure you’re bored,” I say as I look up at Logan.
I hope he’s bored. Reading this stuff is hard.
“Not at all bored.” He gestures to the open page on my lap. “I blocked out some of this stuff. I forgot about the bankruptcy thing coming right after Agnes’s wedding.”
I can’t believe how much I’ve forgotten—not the big moments, exactly, but the little ones that led to the big ones. Good or bad, I’ve blocked out more than I care to admit.
I look down at the page I’m on. Oh, here comes Logan.
Logan and I had a fight. A big one, and we haven’t made up yet. He was dating Annette Wasper in January, and I found out Annette was cheating on him. So I told him. But he didn’t want to hear it. And he especially seemed to not want to hear it from me. He told me to stay out of his love life and not get in the middle like I do with my parents. I told him that was a low blow.
I know his relationship with Annette is bound to end in tragedy, but he told me this isn’t Shakespeare, it’s high school.
I told him high school’s almost over and it will be the real world soon enough, but he didn’t want to hear that, either. So, he’s still screwing Annette.
We haven’t talked since, not even a hello. Ginny and Dave complain our fight is affecting their social life because the four of us never hang out together anymore. And Ginny keeps trying to force a reconciliation, but I told her you can’t force things like this. Logan Wild can burn in hell as far as I’m concerned, and I don’t think I’m gonna change my mind anytime soon.
Logan bursts out laughing, and I do, too.
“You know I was never serious about Annette Wasper,” he says. “How could I be—you were the one I wanted.”
My cheeks burn. “We were just…you know…we still dated other people. Sort of.”
“Sort of.” He shifts, and I inhale the scent of his cologne.
Shit. I look back at my journal.
I graduated high school, and that was about as nondescript as I thought it would be. Logan and I both went to the class party afterward, and we avoided each other the whole night. I hooked up with Kenny Closer, and Logan was with Annette again, I think just to prove me wrong. But I saw her last week in the park with a new guy, and they were tongue wrestling. Of course, I didn’t bother to tell Logan this time.
I decided not to go to college; somebody needs to keep Daddy off the bottle, or at least, somebody needs to try.
All those rehabs trips to quit drinking and he can’t get it done? I know why. It’s the bar. How can he quit drinking when he’s ordering kegs of beer and vats of wine, not to mention all the vodka and whisky and tequila? And he likes it all. He’s not picky. Never was. Mama and I have been secretly discussing ousting him from his post, but Daddy’s stubborner than both of us, and I’m sure he’d outlast us all. He did allow me to take over the orders and the day-to-day stuff while he was gone, and I’ve still got the reins even though he’s back. It’s the only way I can think of to keep his mouth off that bottle.
So I’m working full-time now at the saloon. And I’m taking classes at the community college in north San Antonio. Just some business ones, finance and bookkeeping. Mama says math is very important for life.
Being out of school doesn’t feel as great as I thought it would. Don’t get me wrong, I love having no homework, but I feel a bit like a lost soul.
Logan and I finally made up after nine long months of our freeze. And we’ve made love once since then. It happened by chance, I suppose, although I don’t know that I can be that flighty about it. I always say I have no plans for it because it always
does seem to sneak up on me, but I know I always want him, and I—
I bite my lip before continuing.
And I probably always will.
Oh God. That sounds so terrible now that he’s engaged. I wish he’d say something…
Logan clears his throat. “Like you’ll always want Brad Pitt?”
I swallow. “Yeah. Exactly like that. You’re a poster on my wall, Logan. A childhood crush.” I glance down at the diary. “Oh, no. This is the part where…”
“The pasture,” he says instantly.
Where we did it not once, but twice.
The air changes instantly. But I don’t know how to stop reading without it looking worse. If I don’t continue, it will look like I’m hung up on him, but if I do read on—
Good Lord. I have to just charge through.
Logan and Annette had finally broken up after too long of me having to look at her face. And I broke up with Jimmy after three months, which felt like three years, and he went back to his ex-girlfriend who’d never really left the picture, anyway. Suddenly, Logan and I were both single; well pretty much single. I was on and off seeing this recently-divorced man, Tedi, from San Antonio. It was going nowhere, and we both knew it even though he and his ex-wife were long over. But for some reason, I couldn’t break it off completely…Tedi’s fifteen years my senior with two kids, and Mama’s furious with me…she says I’m looking for a daddy in a lover, and I screamed at her about that, but inside I wonder if maybe she’s right.
Logan and I were at the Cowherd Whiskey after closing one night, just talking out on the picnic bench. He dared me to jump the fence and walk through his family’s ranch, cows and all. I knew the bull was in the back field, so I did it, and Logan followed me. We walked for a while…and I think I knew what was coming when he grabbed my hand and held it for the last bit of our walk.
When we got to the fence at the other end of town, I climbed up but Logan grabbed my leg and lifted me back down into the pasture and into his arms. We laid down on the grass for a long time, looking at each other and up at the sky. It was a new moon, pitch dark but for the stars, which were clear as day, and I kissed him first. I’m not usually so bold, but I was feeling so good.
Wild Girl: A Cowboy Romance Trilogy (Wild Men Texas Book 3) Page 2