Summer of the Weeping Rain

by Yvonne Whittal

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Adam arranged a braai for the Saturday evening before Lisa's mother and aunt were due to return to Cape Town, and Willa, her parents, Ken Rudman, and several other families from neighbouring farms were invited.

  On the morning of the braai the fires were packed, ready to be lit, and tables and chairs were carried out into the garden where Adam had erected an extension to give sufficient lighting around the fires and the tables.

  Lisa helped in the kitchen with the salads for most of the day, but she felt sick at the thought that soon it would be her turn to leave, and Daisy was obviously thinking the same thoughts.

  Halfway through cutting up a tomato she looked up suddenly and said: 'Miss Lisa, this old house won't be the same again without you.'

  It was the nicest compliment anyone could have paid Lisa, but it also stirred up the pain, and the hopeless longing that was beginning to overwhelm her.

  'Thank you, Daisy,' she smiled a little wanly. 'I've loved it here, but everything must end somewhere.'

  Daisy shook her head and frowned as she resumed her task of slicing tomatoes. She muttered something about certain people not knowing the worth of something until they'd lost it, but Lisa did not dare ask for an explanation.

  Later that afternoon, while Lisa was trying to decide on what to wear for the occasion, there was a knock on her door and her mother entered her room. 'You'd better hurry,' she said, taking in Lisa's state of undress. 'Mr and Mrs Jackson and their daughter arrived a few minutes ago, and so has that' nice Mr Rudman who came over for dinner on Christmas Day.'

  'I can't make up my mind what to wear.'

  'What about that brown pleated skirt of yours, and…' Celia Moreau pushed aside a few dresses in the wardrobe and brought out a square, flat box lying half forgotten in the furthest corner. 'What's this?'

  'Mother, don't—' Lisa began anxiously, but her mother had already opened the box and was inspecting the contents.

  'Oh, but how lovely!' Celia Moreau exclaimed, running the silk blouse through her fingers. 'You must wear this with your skirt.'

  'No… I can't.'

  'Why not, for goodness' sake?' her mother wanted to know, turning the blouse this way and that as she examined it carefully. 'Is there something wrong with it?'

  'No, there's nothing wrong with it, but…' Lisa swallowed hard, 'I can't wear it.'

  Celia lowered the blouse and stared at her daughter in a perplexed fashion. 'But why did you buy it if you can't wear it?'

  'I didn't buy it,' said Lisa before she could prevent herself, and her mother instantly grasped the situation.

  'It was a gift, then?'

  'Oh, Mother,' Lisa sighed exasperatedly.

  'Was it a gift from Rory?' Celia persisted, but something in Lisa's expression must have given her the answer. 'It was from Adam, wasn't it?'

  'I'd ripped an old cotton blouse of mine one day, and Adam decided to replace it with this,' Lisa found herself explaining patiently. 'I told him it was too expensive for me to accept, and we had quite a disagreement.'

  'So you shoved it into the bottom of your wardrobe and swore never to wear it,' her mother concluded knowingly.

  'Something like that, yes,' Lisa admitted grudgingly.

  'Don't you think it's time you stopped being silly?' her mother rebuked her gently. 'If Adam was kind enough to give you this beautiful blouse as a gift, then the least you can do is wear it. He most probably won't even notice what you're wearing, if he's at all like other men.'

  'Oh, he'll notice all right, and he'll gloat triumphantly,' Lisa snorted angrily.

  'Gloat?' Celia frowned confusedly. 'I don't see why he should gloat, but does it really matter?'

  Lisa stared at her mother for a moment, fighting against the desire to confide in her as she had always done, and then she shook her head. 'No, it doesn't matter. Give me that blouse.'

  'I'll see you downstairs in a few minutes,' Celia Moreau smiled reassuringly, and then Lisa was alone.

  She stepped into her skirt, fastening it about her narrow waist, then she slipped her arms into the sleeves of the blouse, her fingers fumbling with the tiny pearl buttons down the front and at the cuffs. She hated the idea of wearing it when she thought of the unhappy encounter she had had with Adam because of it, but the silk, admittedly, felt good against her skin.

  Lisa joined everyone in the garden some minutes later, and her mother smiled approvingly when Lisa sat down in the vacant chair beside her. She had met only a few of the people present, but those she had not met introduced themselves in the friendly, jovial manner of the Karoo people. Their children kept Josh and Kate occupied with wild games on the spacious lawn until their laughter echoed across the garden, and Lisa felt free for a while from her duties.

  Willa and Lisa acknowledged each other with a cool nod, but Lisa was struck almost physically by the other girl's beauty. She seldom wore anything other than slacks or riding clothes, but for this occasion Willa had chosen an emerald green silk creation that matched her eyes superbly. Her lustrous, reddish-brown hair was combed up on to her head, exposing her slender neck and beautiful tanned shoulders, but it was her air of calm confidence that drove those painful barbs into Lisa's heart. This was where Willa belonged… on Fairview, as Adam's wife.

  The fires were lit, and the men stood around it drinking their beer, while the women sipped sherry and discussed the latest bit of gossip doing the rounds in town. It was a warm night, and Lisa, feeling restless and uneasy, went into the house to see if she could help Daisy with the last-minute preparations in the kitchen, and it was there that Adam found her, bending over a plate of snacks she was preparing.

  He fingered the sleeve of her blouse and smiled with more warmth than she had ever credited him with. 'I thought you were never going to wear it.'

  'I changed my mind.'

  'I'm glad you did,' he said abruptly, and then he winked at her quite deliberately and uncharacteristically as he walked out of the kitchen with the large dish of meat in his hands.

  Lisa stared after him a little bewilderedly, not quite sure what to make of his behaviour, then she shrugged it off to continue with her task.

  The smell of woodsmoke was soon replaced by that of meat grilling on an open fire and, despite her dwindling appetite, Lisa experienced a few pangs of hunger.

  'Can I help with anything?' Ken Rudman wanted to know when he wandered into the kitchen some time later.

  'Is the meat ready?'

  'As ready as it will ever be,' he said, his hungry glance roaming over the salads, and Lisa promptly placed one of the loaded trays into his hands.

  'Take that outside for me, will you, Ken?'

  'Sure thing,' he grinned.

  Lisa and Daisy followed him with the rest of the trays, and when everything was set out on the tables, Adam invited their guests to help themselves.

  Willa made sure, somehow, that she found a seat beside Adam, and Lisa envied the easy familiarity that existed between them, but she had also learnt to accept it. It was Willa's display of possessiveness that eventually drew whispered comments from the two women seated on either side of Lisa.

  'She can't keep her hands off him, but I don't blame her either,' Molly Anstey remarked a little cynically, nudging Lisa with her elbow.

  'Don't take any notice of that girl's behaviour, my dear,' Lisa's mother advised, patting Lisa's arm in a consoling manner.

  'It's none of our business, Mother,' Lisa whispered back fiercely, 'and it doesn't interest me in the least.'

  'Yes, of course, dear,' Celia Moreau agreed placidly, applying herself to her food once more, but Lisa had the feeling that her mother remained unconvinced on this occasion.

  Across the tables laden with food, Lisa saw Willa slide a possessive hand up Adam's arm and, as he looked down at her and smiled, Lisa's stomach lurched sickeningly. Jealousy, as she was beginning to know it, consumed her like a fire, and she lowered her eyes blindly, fighting desperately to control the tremors that shook thr
ough her body.

  'You're not eating, dear,' Celia Moreau remarked with concern, and Lisa set aside her plate with a look of distaste on her fine features.

  'I'm not hungry.'

  Celia looked slightly taken aback, but Lisa had the distinct impression that her mother was hiding a smile behind that fluttering handkerchief.

  The braai seemed to last an eternity, but when the twins ambled sleepily across to Lisa's chair, she took them up to bed, and rejoiced silently at this temporary escape from the pain of seeing Willa stake her claim so openly.

  Laughter and music greeted Lisa when she eventually joined everyone .in the garden again, and she was faintly surprised when Willa deliberately sought out her company.

  'You will be leaving us soon,' Willa began, drawing Lisa a little away from the rowdy circle of people.

  'I'll be leaving in just over two weeks, to be exact,' Lisa replied stiffly.

  'Are you looking forward to returning to the city?' Green eyes surveyed Lisa intently, placing her instantly on her guard. 'I'm looking forward to going back to teaching, yes.'

  'Yes, of course,' Willa smiled with deceptive sweetness. 'I'd forgotten you're a teacher, and that reminds me that the twins will soon be attending boarding school. The moment they're off Adam's hands…' She paused significantly and glanced at Lisa. 'Well, you know what I mean.'

  'Yes… I know,' Lisa spoke with difficulty and, to her dismay, the faint quiver of her lips did not go unnoticed.

  'I did warn you not to go silly over him,' Willa thrust the knife home with an accuracy that made Lisa wince inwardly, but she recovered herself swiftly and met Willa's mocking glance with a calmness she had thought had deserted her.

  'You did warn me, Willa, and please believe me when I say that—that I hope you'll both be very happy.'

  Incredulity flashed across the other girl's face. 'I believe you really mean that.'

  Lisa nodded, her throat too tight to speak at that moment.

  'You care for him so much you can wish him happiness with someone else?' Willa persisted, her perfectly arched eyebrows rising a fraction higher. 'I must admit I never thought much of you before, but you certainly have my admiration for your unselfish attitude.'

  'Think nothing of it,' Lisa replied through clenched teeth and, turning on her heel, she walked blindly towards the house.

  It no longer mattered that Willa knew of her feelings for Adam, and her only thought at that moment was to get away. She had to be alone for a few minutes to rid herself of this deadly coldness that had taken such complete possession of her.

  'Just a minute,' a harsh voice commanded, and strong fingers latched on to her arm, bringing her to an abrupt stop in the hall. 'Where are you going?'

  'I—I was going up to my—my room for a few minutes,' she explained haltingly, trying to free herself, but Adam's keen glance raked her white face, and his hand tightened on her arm.

  'Is something wrong? Has anyone upset you?'

  'No… oh, no! Everything's fine, and—'

  'You're shaking,' he interrupted, taking her by the shoulders a little roughly. 'Are you ill?'

  'N-no,' she assured him hastily, but she could not stop her teeth from chattering.

  'Come with me,' Adam instructed abruptly and, not waiting for her to follow him, he steered her firmly down the passage towards his study, switching on the desk lamp and closing the door behind them.

  He regarded her closely for a moment, then he took her shaking hands in his and held them against his chest. 'Your hands are like ice.'

  His touch was unbearably sweet, but she dared not linger there alone with him; not while she was in this totally vulnerable state of mind and body.

  'I—I must go,' she stammered, but as she looked up into his compelling eyes, something stilled inside of her. She had never seen him look so strained before, nor so strangely white about the mouth.

  'Lisa, Lisa,' he muttered thickly, and then those powerful arms were crushing her against him, and his lips sought hers in a kiss that left her peculiarly drained. 'My God, the more I have of you, the more I want,' he growled eventually against her lips, and then he was kissing her again until her bones seemed to melt against him. 'I can't let you go, Lisa. My life would never be the same again without you to add that odd and mysterious dash of spice to it.'

  Her heart reacted deliriously to what he was saying, and a new warmth flowed through her, but her wary, tortured mind warned her to take care. 'Adam, you don't know what you're saying.'

  'I know damn well what I'm saying, you little witch,' he grunted, the leaping flames in his eyes devouring her. 'I don't know how you did it, but it's a darned uncomfortable feeling for a man like myself when a woman gets under his skin. I haven't known myself lately, and the desire to hold you in my arms like this became unbearable at times. I even found myself trying to create situations which would inevitably lead to this.'

  'Adam…' she interrupted weakly, but he would not be checked.

  'I know you're not totally indifferent to me, but, God help me, I'll make you care somehow.'

  'Adam…' His lips silenced hers, but she clung resolutely to her sanity, and when he finally raised his head, she gasped, 'Adam, you're not yourself. You're—'

  'You're quite right, I'm not myself,' he thundered at her angrily. 'I haven't been quite myself since you walked into my life and shook my carefully erected foundations.'

  It all sounded ecstatically wonderful, but she had to think of Willa and, leaning back in his arms as far as she could, she looked a long way up into his angry face. 'You don't really mean what you're saying. You've forgotten, perhaps, that you once told me you tolerated me in your home only for the sake of the twins.'

  His arms tightened about her painfully. 'Have you forgotten what prompted that remark?'

  Lisa shook her head. 'I know I was angry and hurt at the time.'

  'You said I was the most hateful man you'd ever met,' he refreshed her memory, and Lisa winced.

  'I didn't really mean that.'

  'Neither did I mean, what I said.' His lips brushed against her cheek. 'Marry me, Lisa.'

  'No!' she cried in anguish, straining away from him. 'No, I can't!'

  'Why not?'

  'I—I'm not the right sort of wife for you, and—and you're not really serious,' she argued haltingly, trying to ward him off, but the sensual exploration of his lips against her neck was rapidly wearing down her fragile resistance.

  'My patience is wearing thin, Lisa,' he warned thickly, 'and I won't take "no" for an answer.'

  She felt the warmth of his hands through the thin silk of her blouse as they moved across her back, pressing her more firmly against the hard length of his body, but she dared not give in to the emotions that clamoured for an outlet, and out of sheer desperation she asked: 'What about Willa?'

  'Willa?' His heavy eyebrows came together in a frown. 'What has Willa got to do with us?'

  'But she—she—' Lisa faltered nervously. The look on his face filled .her once again with that vague suspicion that something was wrong, and she shook her head slightly in an effort to seek clarity. 'I don't understand.'

  'Neither do I, so would you mind explaining?'

  He released her suddenly, and she stood swaying for a moment before her hands encountered the desk behind her. Was it possible that she had misjudged Adam? she wondered, swallowing convulsively as she took in his formidable expression while he waited for her to speak.

  'Willa told me that—that you were planning to be— married as soon as the twins went to school.'

  Adam's eyes narrowed to angry slits. 'Did she actually mention the word marriage?'

  'Well, I—' Lisa frowned suddenly, searching her mind frantically in an effort to recall Willa's exact words. 'No,' she said at last. 'Now that I come to think of it, she didn't. She said—she first of all told me that you had—had committed yourself.'

  His lips tightened perceptibly. 'And you understood this to mean marriage?'

  'What else cou
ld it have meant?' she argued miserably, the colour coining and going in her cheeks. 'And then, this evening, she—'

  'Yes?' Adam prompted harshly, making her flinch. 'What did she say this evening?'

  'She said you were just waiting for the twins to go to boarding school so they would be off your hands,' Lisa re-plied truthfully. 'She didn't add anything to that, but she didn't have to.'

  'And you believed her clever insinuations, of course,' Adam accused quietly, his eyes flickering strangely.

  'There was no reason for me not to believe her, Adam. I've always considered she would be the perfect wife for you. She knows all there is to know about sheep farming, which is a tremendous asset for any man like yourself, and—and she's strong and healthy. Not like—' She faltered, her throat working as her fingers went automatically to her scarred cheek.

  'Forget about that!' Adam ordered sharply, removing her hand and brushing his lips against the long scar before he raised his head and looked deep into her eyes. 'I love you, Lisa, and that's something I've never said to any other woman before.' Her heart was beating so fast that she could not speak as his arms encircled her waist. 'Marry me, Lisa. I know I'm expecting rather a lot of you to take on those two scamps who've been placed in my care as well, but you can't refuse me.'

  The most incredible happiness surged through her, but after the weeks of hopeless despair, she was wary of it. 'I love Josh and Kate, but what will Willa say?'

  'To the devil with Willa!' he exploded with harsh impatience. 'Put me out of my misery, Lisa, and say you'll marry me.'

  'Oh, Adam,' she whispered tremulously, burying her face against him, and then her silent tears of capitulation dampened the front of his immaculate blue shirt where the smell of woodsmoke still clung to him.

  'Tears, my beloved?' he demanded with a tenderness which she knew was only for her, and then his fingers were beneath her chin, bringing her tear-dampened face out into the open so that he could read the truth in her luminous, deep blue eyes. 'Does that mean the answer is "yes"?'

  'Oh, yes… yes, Adam… please,' she sighed ecstatically, and then everything seemed to fade into the distance, leaving only Adam and herself, and the unbelievable joy of knowing she belonged.