by Sara Martin
In the centre of the park, a bridge stretched across the stream. As we crossed it Julian took my hand, entwining his fingers with mine. He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand. His touch sent a jolt through me. Nervousness made my hand clammy. I hoped he didn’t notice.
On the other side of the park, there was a playground. In my excitement, I broke away. “Let’s go on the swings!”
I dashed over to the playground, Julian lagging behind me. We sat down on the swings. Ahead of us, the moon was full and breathtaking.
“I’ve had a wonderful time tonight,” I said.
“Me too,” Julian said.
The stars twinkled above us. I felt so happy. I swung higher and higher. Next to me, Julian sat, but did not swing.
“Don’t you like it?” I asked.
“I get motion sickness.”
“Is that so? How sad.”
“I suppose it is.” He chuckled.
I stopped swinging, gently coming back down. “When did you start liking me?” I asked, coyly.
Julian looked thoughtful. “I don’t really know. It just snuck up on me.”
“It wasn’t love at first sight?” I asked, joking.
“Not quite.” Julian laughed. “But I certainly took notice of you.”
“Me too.”
“I suppose I realised my feelings when you invited me to go away with you. It took me completely off-guard, but I knew straight away I wanted to go. I wanted to spend time with you.”
“Did you think something might happen between us?”
“I wasn’t sure, but I wanted something to happen.”
“We almost kissed.”
“I stopped myself. I felt like I was being reckless.”
I bit my lip. “I like it when you’re reckless.”
“Ivy, come here.”
I slid off the swing and approached him. He motioned for me to sit on his lap. I sat on his knee and he put his arms around me, pulling my head to his chest. I could smell his cologne, earthy and deep. He ran his hand through my hair and kissed me on the forehead. His lips were so soft. I couldn’t help wanting more. I lifted my head and kissed him on the lips, gently at first, but then with growing passion. He didn’t resist, kissing me deeper, feverishly.
Voices approached and we jolted apart.
34
A rowdy group of young teenagers headed towards us. They were smoking, drinking, and talking mainly in expletives.
“Did they see us?” I asked self-consciously, smoothing my ruffled hair.
“Who cares?” Julian said. He took my hand and led me away. “It’s almost ten. Should I drop you home now?”
“Yes, please.”
We walked back to the car, hand in hand.
“I had an amazing time tonight,” I said.
“Me too. I hope we can go out again soon.”
I nodded. “We need to make the most of the time we have left together.”
“You’re right. Every moment counts.”
As we drove back to my house, it started to rain. Julian turned the wipers on. We sat in silence most of the way, listening to the raindrops on the roof of the car.
As we neared my house, Julian said, “I wasn’t sure if I should bring this up tonight, but I want to know. How are things going with your parents?”
“It’s okay. We had a family meeting. I told them I’m not going to study law. They accepted my decision, even if they weren’t too happy about it. They’re not going to pressure me anymore.”
“That’s good.”
“They want me to move out, though. They have given me until the end of February to sort myself out.”
“That sucks. But still, I suppose it can’t be helped.”
“Yeah. Despite that, I feel a bit better about everything now.”
“What about your grandparents? Have you spoken to them again since we left the lodge?”
“No. Why?”
“No reason. It just seemed like they really care for you. Maybe more than your parents do.”
“You’re right. And I miss them too. Perhaps I should give them a call?”
“That might be a good idea.”
By the time we arrived at my house, it was after ten. The lights were on, so I knew my parents had waited up for me.
“Well, goodnight.” I unbuckled my seatbelt.
“Can I have a goodnight kiss?” Julian asked.
I smiled, leaned over and gave him a kiss on the lips. Short and sweet.
“Goodnight, Julian.”
“Goodnight, Ivy.”
Even with final exams fast approaching, I spent every spare minute with Julian. My parents were starting to get concerned.
“I hope you’re still going to take your exams seriously,” Mum said.
“Don’t worry. I’m staying in tonight to study.”
“Good. Let me know if you need anything.”
Although my future was no longer dependent on good exam results, I still wanted to do well. It was the least I could do after everything I’d put my parents through. I went to my room and settled in with a stack of textbooks and a notepad. Headphones on, I tried to focus on studying. Eventually, I got into the flow of it.
It didn’t last long. I was snapped from my flow when my headphones were yanked off my head.
“Hey!”
“Phone for you,” Mum said.
I took the phone and pressed it to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hello, Ivy. This is Catherine Hitchcock. I’m in charge of admissions to the Creative Writing programme at The Elias Institute.”
My heart jumped.
“I just wanted to call regarding your application to the Elias Institute.”
What could this possibly be about? My application was rejected, wasn’t it?
“Have you received your letter?”
“Yes. I didn’t get in.”
“Yes. That’s right. But I wanted to let you know the admissions team was impressed by your application.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. You have a fresh voice, and we all enjoyed reading your work.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re probably wondering why you weren’t accepted. The truth is, we contemplated your application for a long time. Ultimately, we decided you weren’t quite ready. We rarely take anyone straight out of high school. Most of our students are more mature. Life experience is really valuable for writers.”
“That makes sense.”
“You have talent, Ivy. That’s clear. But you wouldn’t be a good fit for this course. That is why you were passed up this time.”
“I understand.”
“Take my advice, Ivy. Get out there into the big, wide world. Write, study, work and travel. Experience what the world has to offer. Then, you will be ready to reapply to study here. We would gladly take you.”
“Thanks for the advice. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“What are you doing next year?”
“I haven’t quite sorted it out yet. The only thing I know is I want to write every day.”
“Well, that’s a good start. Good luck, Ivy.”
“Thank you, Catherine.”
“Hope to hear from you again in the future. Goodbye.”
“Bye.”
The conversation brought me a sense of closure, and I smiled. At least I knew why I didn’t get in. It hadn’t been a lack of talent. It had been a preference for more mature students. Why hadn’t I thought of that before? It seemed obvious now. Of course, they would want students with life experience. I sighed.
I tried to get back into my study but couldn’t concentrate. The daunting question of what I was going to do for the next year hovered over me. Although I had given it a lot of thought, I had yet to come up with a satisfying resolution. Thoughts swirled around in my head, and I found it hard to get to sleep that night.
Trying to relax, I pictured myself at my grandparents’ lodge, taking a walk in the countryside. I thought about the encounter with Julian—when we
almost kissed. I remembered helping my grandfather in the garden. A deep sense of calm enveloped me, and I drifted off.
When I awoke, it struck me. I knew a place I could live, a place I could work, a sanctuary where I could practice my writing. The answer had been so simple all along.
35
Here goes. I picked up the phone. My hand trembled. I had never been so nervous about calling my grandparents. But this call was so important. It would determine everything. I dialled the lodge, growing more tense with each ring.
Finally, my grandfather answered. “Hello?”
“It’s me, Ivy.”
“Ivy? What a pleasant surprise. How are you?”
I immediately felt calmer upon hearing his voice. Grandpa would always try to do best by me, I knew that. He was a sweet and caring man. I opened up to him.
“Actually, I’m in a predicament.”
“A predicament you say? Can I help?”
“Yes. I think you can. That’s why I’m calling.”
“I’m all ears.”
“Long story short, I need work and a place to live.”
“My goodness, that is a predicament.”
“You know how you were thinking about getting someone to help out at the lodge? Someone to live on site and take care of maintenance tasks…?”
“I remember.”
“Has that position been filled?”
“No. Not yet. It was just an idea at this stage, so we haven’t started looking for anyone.”
“Well, if you’re still considering it, I would like to have a go at it.”
“Well, this is a shock! What about your plans to go to university?”
“That didn’t work out. I didn’t get into the creative writing programme. I got into law, but I’ve decided I just can’t stomach it. It’s not for me.”
“Well, it’s better to decide now than part way through.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Anyway, my parents won’t let me keep living here. So, I want to get a job.”
“Are you sure doing maintenance work would make you happy?”
“I love the lodge, you know I do. I enjoyed helping you out when I visited. Working there would be refreshing. And I could write in my spare time. I’m hoping to complete a novel.”
“That’s very ambitious.” Grandpa sounded in good spirits.
“It wouldn’t be forever, just until I decide what to do next. I might reapply to study creative writing the next year, or maybe I’ll do some travelling.”
“Well, I can’t make any promises at this stage, but I’ll discuss it with your grandmother and we’ll make a decision.”
“Thank you!”
“Bye, Ivy. We’ll call you back.”
I was nervous, but Grandpa had sounded excited by the idea. I didn’t think Grandma would be against it either.
Fortunately, I wasn’t left hanging for long. Grandma called me within an hour.
“Ivy, I would love it if you came to live with us! What a brilliant idea!” she said with vast enthusiasm.
“I would earn my place of course, working on the property.”
“Of course, you will, dear. You’ve always been a big help whenever you’ve visited. This is going to be great.”
“So, it’s a deal, then?”
“It’s a deal. When will you come?”
“Would February be okay?”
“That soon? We need to start making preparations.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“You’re a hard worker, Ivy. I know everything will work out.”
“I feel so relieved now.”
“Only too glad to help, my dear.”
I felt so light, so free. Everything that had been weighing me down had been shifted. Living and working at the lodge would be the perfect lifestyle for me as I worked on my novel.
My parents were in the living room when I made my announcement. “I’m moving in with my grandparents. I’m going to work at the lodge.”
“What’s that, honey?” Dad asked, eyebrows raised.
“I’ve just been on the phone with them. It’s all arranged.”
“And they’re okay with this?”
I nodded. “They’re completely on board with it.”
He stood up. “Is this what you want?”
“Yes.”
“Then I support you.” He hugged me. “I’m glad you figured something out. My parents will be happy to have you around.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“What are your thoughts, dear?” he asked Mum.
Mum put aside the magazine she was reading. “I think it’s a good idea as long as you make yourself useful and not a burden.”
“Of course, I will.”
“When will you go?” Dad asked.
“I don’t know yet, but I’ll be out of your hair by the end of February as promised.”
“No rush, honey. Take your time.”
Mum nodded. “End of February was just a guideline.”
“Thanks, but I hope to leave as soon as possible. As soon as Grandma and Grandpa are prepared to take me.”
“We’ll miss you,” Dad said, almost tearing up. “We’ll visit you as much as we can.”
“Thanks. I’d like that.”
After informing my parents, I was desperate to tell Julian. I texted him.
I have news.
I met Julian at the waterfront. He stood, windswept, leaning against the fence. I rushed over and flung my arms around him, almost knocking him off his feet.
“I did it!”
Julian grinned, amused. “You did what?”
“I know what I’m going to do next year.”
I relayed my news to him as we walked side by side down the boardwalk.
“That sounds perfect. I think it will work well for you,” Julian said.
“Me too. I can’t wait to move there.”
“When do you leave?”
“Sometime in February.”
“So, you still have a few months to prepare.”
“Yeah. It will probably go fast, though.”
“Do you have a job lined up for the summer holidays?”
“No. If I can’t find anything, I’ll just relax and take it easy.”
“I can put a word in for you at Lucky Books, if you like.”
“Really? That would be great!”
“You’re welcome. They’ll be in need of someone soon anyway.”
I took Julian’s hand and leaned my head against his shoulder. We walked in contented silence, passing the marina where yachts bobbed gently on the water.
“This is nice,” I said, taking a deep breath of salt air.
“You seem so happy.”
“I am.”
“I want to take you out for dinner.”
“Really? I’d love that.” I hesitated. “But I can’t. Exams are next week. I need to study. I’ve been so lazy recently, and I’m really far behind.”
“So, I guess we won’t be seeing each other for a while?”
“Yeah.”
“And I’m leaving on the second of December, remember?”
I gulped. “I remember.” I kept that fact locked in the back of my memory. I wished he hadn’t brought it up again.
We passed by a small cart selling ice cream cones.
“Can I buy you an ice cream?” Julian asked.
“Of course. I can’t say no to ice cream.”
I chose cookies and cream, and Julian chose strawberry. We ate them as we walked towards the end of the boardwalk and then up the pier. Julian sat down, his legs dangling over the edge. I joined him. The blue water beneath us sparkled in the sunlight. I felt more relaxed than I had in a long time.
“You’ve got ice cream on your lip,” Julian said.
Before I could lick it off, he kissed me.
36
My first exam was on Monday afternoon. Anxious students milled about the entrance to the school hall. I looked around for Lana, praying she would be there. I sca
nned the crowd but couldn’t see her. As worry set in, I felt a tap on my shoulder.
“Looking for me?” It was Lana.
I swung around. “Thank goodness you’re here.”
“What? You thought I would be late again? Don’t worry. I won’t be collapsing halfway through either.”
Lana did look much healthier and happier. She seemed back to her old self.
“Let’s take a look at the seating plan,” Lana said.
We made our way through the crowd to the notice board. The layout of desks was on the board, each desk with a student number assigned. I looked for my number. I would be sitting in the second row from the back.
A teacher came and herded us into a single-file line, then we made our way into the hall. I felt surprisingly calm. I sat at the desk, English exam papers in front of me. We weren’t allowed to touch them until the timer started.
“You may begin,” the supervisor finally announced.
Everyone opened their papers in a flurry. I read through the questions in my exam booklet, relieved I didn’t find anything unexpected. The essays I had memorised would answer the questions nicely. I looked to Lana across the room, she was already zooming through the first paper. I felt relieved.
She’d be fine, and so would I. I put my pen to the page and wrote furiously for the next hour. My wrist began to strain. I managed to finish the first essay and get partway through the second one within the first hour. At just over two hours through the three-hour time limit, I had finished. I read through each essay one more time before leaving the hall. Lana had already left some time ago.
Back home, I looked over my notes for my next exam.
The process continued, day after day.
When I handed my final paper in, I felt an immense sense of relief and lightness. High school was officially over. No more exams, possibly ever.
When I got home, exhaustion hit me. All the long nights studying caught up with me at once. I fell asleep on the couch while watching television.
The next morning, I received a text message from Lana.
I have my last two exams today. Let’s go out tonight to celebrate.
I typed a message back to her. Sounds good. What exams do you have?
Lana replied, Scholarship bio and chem.