by K A Sands
“What does it mean?” he asked after a while. “The inverted sword?”
Sophie had asked me once and I’d given her the cliff notes version, but for whatever reason, Ayden deserved the story of how I came to have a full-length sword tattooed on my back.
“You sure you wanna hear it?”
Ayden pinched my arse cheek. “Of course. Spill.”
Taking a deep breath, I stole myself for a second, thinking of where to start. The beginning, I supposed. “I found a tarot card on the beach one night. I’d just celebrated my twenty-first, was a bit minced but it seemed kind of poignant at the time, especially once I knew what the card meant. Like fate, even if I hadn’t realised exactly what I’d picked up and shoved in my pocket. I forgot about it until I was looking for something else.”
Ayden’s fingers continued their slow perusal, up and down, a constant motion as I talked, shivering when the pads of his fingers would reach the cleft of my arse and wander their way back up again. No one had ever touched any of my tattoos as reverently as Ayden was.
“When I took it from my coat pocket a few weeks later, I looked at it properly, not really understanding, you know. One side was all fancy and shit, ornate, the other side had a picture on it, which quite frankly, gave me the chills. So, I googled the shit out of it. By the time I was finished reading a ton of articles and web sites, I knew it had been a sign. Meant for me.”
The bed moved, and the mattress pinged with the shift as Ayden crawled over me, settling his weight on the back of my legs. Straddling me, both hands rubbed up my back then he started massaging his fingers into the still corded and tight muscles of my neck and shoulders.
“What was the card?”
“Ten of Swords.”
“I don’t know anything about tarot cards,” he said, “but I’m not sure I like the connotation of swords.”
Laughing at his deduction, I remembered being freaked out too, so I let him off. “The card had been upside down when I picked it up, again the position seemed important, but the picture wasn’t comforting at all.” My shiver wasn’t a good one that time, recalling the sense of dread that had washed over me when I regarded the card closer. “A guy was lying face down with ten swords shoved in his back. What’s to feel good about it? I dropped the card, thinking it was way too personal at the time. I was still scratching out a way of life, trying to get into my boss’s inner circle so I wasn’t one of the guys that ended up doing monkey work and having all the shit of the day rained down on me. No way was I getting pissed on from the top.”
“Shaun, I don’t need the ins and outs, all the sordid details of the things in your past. They don’t matter, not to me anyway. One day, you’ll learn to let it go too, forgive your own sins when it’s time and you’re ready.”
“What if I can’t do it, Ayden?”
“You want to, that’s enough. You can, and I know you will. I don’t think you want to stay the same man you’ve been for years. It’s not you, not deep down. I can see it.”
“It’s not,” I sighed. “I never wanted to be this way.”
“What does it mean?”
“The card?”
“Yeah. The sword is inversed. Is that a bad thing?” he asked.
The foreboding meaning of the card had changed for me over the years. Initially, the morbid image had kept me awake many nights trying to decipher it in terms of my life. Eventually, I’d realised I was nowhere near ready for the implications, so I’d etched it onto my skin so as to never forget. Now though, now - it was more relevant than ever, and I’d finally understood.
“Painful endings.” Ayden’s hands stilled. “It’s difficult to explain, I think it might be a good card. A warning card, but a good one at the right time. And I think it means more today than it did five years ago.”
He chuckled and nuzzled his head into my neck. “Well, I’ll try not to hurt you too much when I nail your arse to my bed in five short minutes.”
Grinning up at him, I spoke a truth out loud. “I don’t think you’d ever hurt me, Ayden.”
Wiggling on top of me, he swooped down for a kiss. “Not a chance.”
His whispered words warmed me from the inside out and I felt years of apprehensions and marks peel away as he took me again, a slow tickle of his tongue in my mouth. The serious tone of the conversation had mellowed the sexual tension, but Ayden was still hard and rocking against my backside. That wouldn’t do, it was time to ramp it back up. My dick was on board, plumping beneath me as he continued his slow grind. The ten of swords and it’s ominous meaning fled to the back of my mind, Ayden fucking me slamming to the front.
When he stopped kissing me, I leered wickedly at him. “You gonna make me scream, baby?”
“Am I ever? No better sound it the world.” Holding out his hand he asked me to pass another condom. The lube lay somewhere on the bed from where I’d tossed it earlier.
“No mouth, no fingers.” I repeated his own request. “I like it rough too.”
He smiled wide, showing his teeth, when he took the condom and settled back in his initial position. “You might want to hang on for the ride,” he said shakily, “no wait...”
Ayden climbed from my body and wriggled down to the bottom of the bed, snatching at my ankles and heaving me down with him so I was bent over. My knees were on the floor and my dick was rubbing up against the edge of the bed. The friction would be blissful when he started rocking that gorgeous body of his into mine, the bed height perfect for fucking like that.
Cold drips at the base of my spine made me shiver until I felt warm sticky fingers tugging at my balls, massaging the lube and then travelling up. Ayden prodded harshly when he came into contact with the wrinkled skin that would soon be stretched wide.
When I tensed, he asked if I was okay. I was and told him so with a shout when he shoved his finger inside then leaned over and bit at my shoulder. “I’ll make it good, I swear. Make it so you never want another cock inside you.”
I already knew I didn’t want anyone else but kept my mouth shut, I’d be too vulnerable uttering words like that. As it was, I was feeling pretty fucking exposed already. Fisting the sheets, I hoped he wouldn’t drag out his teasing for too long, I was ready for round two. When his finger left me, I turned to see what he was doing and got an eyeful of Ayden lubing up his rubber covered length. He was stunning; eyes hooded and full of lust, his teeth pulling at his bottom lip as he concentrated.
Lining up behind me, we both took deep breaths as he parted my cheeks and pushed his dick up to my entrance. Bracing myself, I scrunched the sheets in my hands when he breached me. Slowly at first, the ache back there horrendous and almost unbearable. I clamped my mouth shut, sure if I was to make a noise he’d hear the agony. But as he pushed further in and then pulled out a few more times, the stabbing pain subsided a little, and I relaxed into the motion. It wasn’t comfortable in the slightest but that curl of anxiousness that had doused me a minute before, left on a sigh, and I could feel the first tell-tale trembles of bliss running through my veins.
Ayden stilled, rubbing his palm up my back, not lingering long, both hands spreading out to mine and covering my fingers, then interlocking. His heat seared the whole length of my body, thigh to thigh, front to back, his dick barely inside me.
“Breathe...”
I almost cried at the softness in his voice, the reassuring tone he elicited to help me calm down. Biting my lip, I drew blood, the copper taste momentarily holding my attention rather than how sore it felt to have him fill me.
The gentle was over, Ayden’s muscles tensed before he surged back inside with no apology or delicacy. My gasp was loud and the shout that followed, fierce. And then they kept coming, with every dive inside, my mouth ran away with me, words that I couldn’t hear over the thud, thud, thud that echoed in my ears as Ayden set my body on fire. The raw heat coursing through me got hotter and hotter, the pain choking me. Rather than fight it, I embraced, a rush of excitement filled me instead of fear. Dr
opping my head to the bed, I grunted animalistic noises and pleaded to Ayden.
“More, more, more...” I chanted, “fuck...”
That one singular word ended up on a constant loop until I was sure I’d lose my voice. Ayden untwined his fingers and swiped my sweat slicked hair from my face, slowing his ministrations down, the harsh beat of his heart against my back and man, I loved it.
“You with me?” he asked. I grumbled out something incomprehensible, to my ears anyway, that Ayden must have taken for a yes. “Perfection, Shaun. Tight and hot and screaming for me. I’m never gonna get my fill of you, I swear.”
After a few shorter pumps in and out, the air changed, and things took a turn. My cock had gone soft when Ayden had first surged into me but now he was taking notice and was stiffening at a rapid pace when Ayden reached between my legs and took hold. “I’ll have you hard again in no time.”
He rose from my back and gripped a hand on my hip to steady himself. Once satisfied with his position, the fucking began again, like real fucking, hard. He didn’t let go when I was stiff, my erection having returned, and I jumped when a harsh pressure wrapped around my neck from behind and pinned my head and shoulders to the bed, arse high.
“So good...take my cock, fucking take it...fucking hell...”
All I could do was ride the wave while Ayden took what he needed from me, I would have given anything he wanted in that moment. I wasn’t even upset when I felt a breeze waft over my length when he stopped wanking me off. He was hitting my prostate over and over and I didn’t need his hand to aide me in coming. Instead, he pushed the fat of his thumb into the top of where he was breaching me, growling when I let out a hoarse cry.
His balls slapped against mine, the extra stretch from his thumb had me seeing stars and begging to come again.
“That good?”
Long thrusts, harder strokes, tighter muscles. It all culminated in a pleasure I’d never felt before. An addictive high I’d sell my soul for time and time again.
“Yeah.” I ground out between pants that couldn’t seem to draw enough air into my lungs. His fingers curled tighter around my neck, squeezing at the pressure points. I was gonna fucking pass out soon, but I wanted to come before I did. “Make me come!”
This bloke had my number, that was for sure. His thumb dug deeper a few more times then disappeared, the pressure easing slightly until he hooked both hands up and under my shoulders. We were so close, not an inch of space between us. He used my body as leverage, turning at different angles so he hit me right where I needed it.
“Nobody else gets this, you hear me?”
The air was too thin around me, there was no way to answer when I was concentrating on the orgasm barrelling down my spine and into my balls. Ayden’s legs tensed behind me, this was his moment. He took another harsh jab, stuffing me full of as much cock as he could get inside then he was hailing the God’s above as he came. I clenched around him, the same way he did me and tried to move beneath the bulk of his body, so he could ride it out without too much effort. Whether I’d succeeded or not didn’t seem to matter, he fell on top of me and squashed the last of the air from my lungs. All I could do was lie there like a limp fucking noodle, desperately clawing the sheets and whimpering.
I was a howling mess that needed relief.
Wincing at the sting of Ayden unseating himself from me, I concentrated on regaining my breath, the blackness that had briefly overwhelmed me had dissipated. I’d never played sex games before, but the feeling had been so fucking heady I was darned sure it was a kink I was going to be looking into, crave more of.
Ayden’s mouth around my dick made me flinch. I hadn’t been expecting it but was thankful all the same. He wouldn’t be sucking for long though because I was just about there. When is mouth disappeared, I moaned in complaint but perked back up when he called out for me to fuck his face. I was so on board with that.
I didn’t even know where the energy came from when I slipped down the bed, probably the thought of shooting down Ayden’s throat spurred me on as I tucked my jellied legs under his shoulders, strings of pre-cum dripping from the end of my cock onto his cheek.
“Swallow me,” I demanded gruffly, taking hold of my shaft, and forcing it into his mouth. I wasn’t ashamed to be assertive with him, just like he had with me, we were both dominant, liked the control, but compliant at the same time; a match made in heaven. Not waiting for him to adjust, I started the blissful motion of back and forth, back and forth, using his mouth to get me off. I choked him and watched him gag with utter glee, loving the sight of his tears streaming down his cheeks as I pushed as far as I dared.
Grabbing at his hair roughly in one hand, I did as he asked and fucked his face with no preamble. It wasn’t long before cum was filling his mouth and dribbling from the corners of his lips.
“Fuck, fuck. Ayden...fuck!” My legs wobbled, and he caught me with the last of my thrusts, his big hands holding me steady. “Oh God, Ayden.”
Looking down through glazed eyes, I watched spunk trail down his chin, his cheeks hollowed one last time and then I retreated, splashing cum across his face as I withdrew my dick. Collapsing forward onto the bed, my muscles felt like they were on fire as I spread my arms wide and shivered as my dick emptied.
Vaguely aware of the snapping of a rubber, I fumbled my way back up onto the bed, flopping in an exhausted heap when my whole body met the mattress. Ayden fell on top of me, a security I wasn’t aware I needed until the slip of his sweat soaked skin slid against mine.
Kissing my neck, his voice gravelly, he told me how amazing I was, how perfect, and for one scant second, I believed the words, savoured them. Then I closed my eyes and lay there, not capable of much else. Free. Safe. I had not a care in the world. Dared I say I felt loved? Completely and irrevocably loved?
Because that’s exactly how Ayden made me feel in the aftermath of the best sex I’d ever had. I wondered if I’d still feel the same way come morning. If Ayden would. And if so, what did it mean for us?
Ayden
Turning onto my side, I squinted at the clock on the bedside table. The red numbers glowed 3 a.m. Rubbing my hand down my face, I gingerly sat up, the pleasant ache running through my body reminding me of the few hours before. Planting my feet on the floor, I peered around the dark room, stopping on the body lying on the other side of the bed. Shaun lay peacefully on his front, long puffs of breath told me he was out for the count and he was sleeping deeply, tangled in the duvet. Seeing him so at ease made me happy. His almost boy like expression told lies about the man I knew him to be. Big, fat, huge lies I was choosing to ignore. I reached out and ran my knuckles down his side, closing my eyes when my skin connected with his.
A trickle of unease walked my spine when I withdrew my hand, remembering the apprehension that had woken me at the ungodly hour in the first place.
I didn’t bother to put anything on when I got up and sneaked from the room, Sophie and Jake would be in their own land of nod at this time in the morning. Padding through the Loft, I collected a bottle of water from the kitchen then made my way to the expanse of windows that lined the living room. City lights gave the room a tepid glow, enough to see my surroundings. The twinkling lights of Brighton never seemed to dim, many a night I found myself in front of these windows, mesmerised.
Hooking my foot under the bottom of the recliner, I dragged it over the few inches I was able to move it, then slumped wearily into the seat. I couldn’t push away the ominous feeling I had, like a calm before the almighty storm. Not being able to foretell what was coming next, Shaun’s story about his ten of swords tarot card made me uneasy, knocked me off kilter.
Content with my life as it was, confident I had no demons to run from, I was perplexed as to why I couldn’t settle. Shaun was still a relatively unknown figure to me but if what we’d experienced together earlier was anything to go by, we could get to where ever it was life would take us if we both wanted it enough. And I did. Maybe that was the pro
blem? The magnitude of being with Shaun finally sinking in.
I gulped down some more water then settled the cold bottle at the side of the chair, my eyes constantly scanning the few bright lights spread out before me, searching...as if one of those twinkles held all the answers. I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep it seemed.
A cool breeze wafted around me, the air shifting, drawing me from my solemn reverie. I surmised I’d been sitting a while when I noted the bumps across my arms. Time to go back to bed where there was heat and cuddles in the form of a sleeping man.
As if sensing my thoughts, warm arms wrapped around my shoulders and chest from behind, making me jump. Shaun’s breath skimmed my ear as he nuzzled into my neck, inhaling deeply, holding tight. It wasn’t an erotic mouth by any means, yet my arousal began stirring within.
God, what this man fucking did to me was crazy. Closing my eyes, I savoured the quiet between us until his hand snaked down my torso, soft fingers stroking the coarse hair at the bottom of my navel. It didn’t feel entirely sexual, more comforting yet the goose bumps returned with a vengeance. When Shaun sucked on my neck, the act changed the air and the constancy of my heart beat. The comfort went south, my dick north, as Shaun’s hand crept further downward and he fastened his fingers around my hardening length.
Tipping my head back, I stared into sleepy eyes as he stole a kiss. “You like that?” he whispered, pulling away a fraction.
“Mmmhhmm,” was all I had to say. I didn’t have words, not then, they were meaningless.
In the blink of an eye, Shaun was gone, the heat taken with him, disappointment fluttering through me on a sigh. I needn’t have worried, he returned less than a minute later to kneel on the floor, nudging my knees apart so he could fit between. Then he laid his head on my thigh, like it was the most natural thing in the world, like this was our norm. Laid out in nakedness for all the world to see. There was no hiding our flaws.