by Jewel E. Ann
She ran her hands through her hair. “Four kicked me in the ribs to wake me up. My hands and legs were zip tied, but I struggled to break free from the stabbing pain in my stomach and ribs so eventually the zip ties rubbed directly on my wrist bones.” Jessica held up her wrists to show him her pearly faded scars. “The moral of the story is I don’t like to be woken by touch. But you already knew that.”
Luke shook his head. “I didn’t. But anyone who scopes out a room for possible ways to kill everyone in it probably doesn’t react well to surprises. I was just testing my theory.”
“Are you afraid of me?” Jessica asked, just above a whisper as she dropped her chin to her chest. He was the one person she didn’t want to scare.
“No.”
She looked up. His eyes locked with hers. No flinch. Not even a blink of doubt.
“But then why—” She pointed to the broken stick.
“Who was the first victim to realize they shouldn’t wake you?”
She sucked in a breath and willed all other emotions to stay in check. “Are we going for a run together by the lake?”
It was a rare occasion for Luke to let his professional mask slip and show any sort of emotion, but that was one of the few times Jessica saw sympathy in his eyes. She hated it.
“Yes.” He stood and looked at her like a puzzle with a few missing pieces. “Get dressed. I’ll meet you downstairs.”
When the door clicked shut Jessica released the breath she’d been holding. Until Luke said it to his family the previous night, Jessica hadn’t focused on the fact that they’d known each other for over five months. She wondered if any other psychiatrist would have known her whole story by that point. Was therapy like ripping off a Band-Aid or peeling an onion? The truth: She wasn’t ready to tell Luke everything. Dr. Jones would have done his job and walked away. She didn’t want Luke to walk away, but she feared giving him too much too fast would have him sprinting in the opposite direction.
Their relationship was a mystery. He let many unofficial days of therapy pass without her saying a word about her past. Maybe discussing random and completely irrelevant topics was a comforting white noise for him while he focused on his crossword puzzles. She wondered more than once why he allowed zero progresses for days and sometimes weeks, but as long as he kept opening his door to her she wasn’t going to risk asking why.
“Good morning, Jessica. Can I get you some breakfast? It’s my specialty.” Felicity greeted her with a warm smile.
“Smells amazing, but can you save me some? Luke and I are going for a run.”
“Absolutely. Oh…” she grimaced seeing Jessica’s legs “…that does look painful.”
“Nah … Where is he, by the way?”
Felicity let her worried gaze linger a few more seconds on Jessica’s legs, then pointed out the kitchen window. “He’s out back with Tom.”
Jessica nodded as she tied her shoes. “Thanks.”
“How’d you sleep?”
“Too good. The room was cool and I was in a warm comfy spot under a heap of covers. I didn’t want to wake up.”
“You didn’t miss the sounds of the big city?” Felicity handed her a bottled water.
“The city, yes, the sounds, no. I might send Luke back to reality tomorrow and stay here until you kick me out.”
Felicity smiled with a playful wink. “Fine by me. Have a good run.”
“Thanks, we will.”
Jessica walked around the side of the house, coming to a stop when she saw Luke and Tom talking in front of an old shed, Tom sipping a cup of coffee, Luke fiddling with the cap to his bottled water. The sight of Luke in a T-shirt, running shorts, and a ball cap left her feeling warm and a bit dizzy. She closed her eyes for a brief moment. For every intelligent, strong-willed woman in the world there was one man that could render her speechless, make her sweat, and consume her thoughts. Luke was that guy for her.
“Hey, young lady.” Tom noticed Jessica as he looked over Luke’s shoulder.
She smiled and when Luke turned and gave her a huge grin that was so very un-Dr. Jones, she pleaded with her heart to calm down and play it cool so she wouldn’t pass out.
“Good morning.” She walked down the small hill toward them.
Tom grinned, his eyes making a quick inspection. “For the love of God, how’d you get all those muscles on such a little body?”
Jessica shrugged, surprised that it was her muscles that caught his attention and not her scabbed-over legs. “A few squats here and there, maybe a crunch or two.”
Tom laughed. “Oh, that’s all, huh?”
Luke adjusted his cap as if to hide his own wandering eyes. “We should get going before it gets too warm.”
Jessica smiled. “Bye, Tom.”
“Show him how it’s done, young lady.”
Jessica nudged Luke as they walked up the hill. “Oh, I will.”
“You do realize I’m not Kelly and you’re going to have to make two strides for every one of mine.”
“God, I love it when you talk my language. You know numbers are my foreplay.”
“Just get going.” Luke shook his head and started jogging down the road.
Jessica followed a few steps behind. “Don’t worry, Jones, I won’t pass you until the last mile. The view is too good from back here.”
“I feel violated.”
Everything inside Jessica came to life. The playful side of Luke was like a shooting star—there and gone in a blink but leaving a lingering feeling of hope.
“I can take the lead and let you violate me if you’d like.”
Luke glanced back at her.
“Don’t give me that look, Jones. You know how long I’ve gone without sex. If I were you I’d lock my bedroom door tonight.”
Luke picked up the pace as if he could prevent her from catching him. She toyed with him for nearly seven miles, sometimes allowing a sizable gap between them, other times riding on his heels. As the sandy oasis, an unofficial beach, just off the road came into view, Jessica closed the gap.
“First one to the beach gets to dive into the water naked.”
“No.”
Jessica pushed past him. “Yes.”
“Jess—no!” Luke grunted the words through quick labored breaths.
Jessica finished with an all-out sprint. “Deep down … I want you to beat me, Jones!” The second her shoes hit the sand, breaking the invisible finish line, she threw off her shirt and bra, continuing on toward the water.
“Jessica!”
A few feet before breaching the water, she turned and smiled as she removed her shoes and shorts. Luke dropped to his knees in the sand, bowing his head.
“I’m going in, Jones. Feel free to watch … we’ll call it your consolation prize.”
A shrill squeal filled the air as she ran into the cool water several feet before making a shallow dive into the waves. For a few brief seconds she was free, liberated, and alive. She prayed to her God, any God that would listen. She prayed that the water would wash away all her problems and that she’d emerge a normal woman, a woman worthy of Luke Jones.
“Dammit, Jones,” Jessica yelled with her first breath upon seeing him still kneeling in the sand, refusing to look at her. “You’re such a killjoy.” She pulled out her ponytail holder and rung out her hair as she walked toward him, collecting her clothes along the way. She stopped in front of him, clothes in one hand, shoes in the other.
“You’re not supposed to get your stitches wet.” At most he could’ve seen her feet, if his eyes had been open. But they weren’t.
“You have a degree in medicine, yet you won’t look at me?”
Luke remained still.
“Am I too short?” She slipped on her bra and top.
Headshake.
“Too many muscles … too butch?” She stepped into her shorts.
Headshake.
“You prefer blondes?” She put on her socks and shoved her feet into her running shoes.
Heads
hake.
She squatted to tie her shoes. His eyes blinked open and met hers.
“Well then, I must just be too fucked-up in the head so I might as well tell you. The first person I attacked was my mother when she woke me up the day after I came home from the hospital. In turn, she spent two days recovering from a concussion and a broken rib.”
That loving daughter turned monster bit her lips together, but it didn’t keep the tears from bleeding down her cheeks as a sob escaped. Feeling required such vulnerability. It was all or nothing. She couldn’t just take the good times, the happy memories. Life was an ebb and flow of pain and pleasure. One could not exist without the other.
With every blink, another teardrop faded into the sand between them. “I will never get married. I will never have children. I will never wake up in the arms of a lover. So here’s what I have: a job that nobody understands, a random dating life where I never have sex with the same guy twice because really … who sticks around after a roll in the hay with Count Dracula? My only option is some masochistic freak who gets off on that shit, but here’s the thing: I don’t. I don’t want to be that person. I hate that person.”
There was nothing but anger in her veins and a pounding pulse in her ears until Luke flipped her whole world on its head.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.
“Fuck you. Don’t you dare say that now.” Jessica swiped away her tears as she stood.
Luke clasped her wrist and gave it a gentle tug like he was asking, not demanding. “Jessica?”
His paralyzing touch bled along her skin and seeped into her chest leaving a permanent mark. She lowered to her knees in front of him.
“I want to tell you that I prefer long dark hair, heavenly amber eyes, and a petite body: seductive, sexy, torturous. I want to tell you that a few minutes ago I would have rather gone blind than not looked at your naked figure. I want to tell you that I hate wine, yet I can’t go to sleep until I’ve had one sip because that’s what your lips tasted like that night we kissed. But I can’t tell you any of that because what I want more than anything is to help you, and I can’t do that from the bedroom.” Luke rested his hands on her cheeks and his forehead on hers. “Because, Jessica, I know if I had you in my bed I would never … ever … want to leave,” he whispered.
Jessica bit her trembling lip—hard. His words, the most beautiful pain ever, became the bane of her existence.
“I’ll never be normal. Will I?”
Luke moved to his feet, dusting the sand off his legs then offering his hand to her. “Normal is subjective and boring.”
She wanted to smile but it didn’t quite make it to her lips. “Then I must be the most fascinating person in the world.”
“You are. Let’s go. I have a surprise for you.” Luke lifted his hat, ran a hand through his matted hair, then repositioned it.
Jessica sighed. “I hope I like it more than you liked yours.”
Luke grabbed his foot and stretched his quad. “I liked mine.”
“Pfft … you didn’t even look at me.”
Luke switched legs and smirked.
“What?” She tied her hair back again.
He turned, walking back toward the road. “I looked.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Knight
Jillian waited, fully dressed, under her sheets until she heard Jackson leave for his morning run. Then she retrieved her suitcase and purse from her closet. She knew there would be consequences, but the promise of them didn’t stop her from saying yes to AJ. Yes to Portland. Yes to meeting his parents. Yes to everything.
“Good morning.” AJ leaned against his Jeep. A rogue smile stole his lips.
She dropped her bags by their feet, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him to her mouth. AJ hesitated for a second. He cared what the neighbors thought; she never did.
He kissed her, but pulled back when her tongue brushed his lips.
Jillian fisted his shirt. “Aric James, if you want me to get on the plane with you then you’re going to have to kiss me like you fuck me.”
His eyes searched hers. “How do I fuck you?”
She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist, forcing him to hug her to his body. “Like your life depends on it.”
Jillian kissed him again and AJ held nothing back. She loved the exhilaration she felt every time he claimed a part of her body with such unapologetic desire. A desire that felt like something much more than want. It was a need that brought her to life with a mind-numbing shot of anticipation and a heart-pounding jolt of fear.
“I want you,” she breathed as his lips and tongue stroked her neck. He occupied her body. The perfect distraction from her mind.
He grazed his teeth along her carotid, teasing her, playing her game. “I know.” He pulled her arms off his neck, releasing her to the ground.
“I know?” She gaped at him.
He grabbed her suitcase and tossed it in the back of his Jeep. “Yes, I know.”
Jillian hopped in the passenger seat and he grinned at her as he turned the key.
“Cat got your tongue?”
Jillian pursed her lips to hide her smile. “Nope. We’ll continue this conversation on the plane.” She typed Jackson a quick message that he’d get when he got home.
Flying to Portland with AJ. Be back in 3 or 4 days. No need to worry.
“Who are you texting?”
Jillian slipped her phone in her purse. “Not that it’s any of your business, Snoop Dogg, but I was just letting Jackson know about our plans.”
“Snoop Dogg?”
“He’s a rapper.”
AJ pinned her with a quick sideways glance. “I know who he is.” He grabbed her leg and squeezed it. “And just so you know … I think over the past week I’ve definitely made you my business.”
Jillian felt his touch like hot lava on her leg. With each passing day it became more difficult to tame her reaction to him. He’d come to know her in the only way anyone except Jackson could ever know Jillian Knight, and he accepted her—pierced lip-clawed back-broken nose type acceptance.
“We’re having sex on the plane.”
AJ removed his hand. “We’re not.”
“Yes, we are.”
“I’m a highly decorated officer in the US Air Force. We will not be having sex on a commercial fight to Portland.”
“What if I give you a merit badge for it?” Jillian smirked.
“No.”
She squirmed a bit in her seat. All their talk had her vagina feeling very responsive. “Well you’re at least going to get me off with your tongue.”
AJ cleared his throat and adjusted himself. “You’re not going to be able to talk this way around my parents.”
“Well, then you’d better keep me satisfied so I’m not thinking about it all the time.”
AJ didn’t give her a verbal response, but his body was tense. There was frustration in his creased brow, and his jeans looked strained at the crotch. He was just how she liked him.
“Why didn’t you tell Jackson about our plans before leaving?”
“He wouldn’t have le—or wanted me to go.”
“Were you going to say he wouldn’t have let you go?”
“Yes, but that’s not entirely true. There would have been a verbal argument, a physical fight, and a monstrous guilt trip. I didn’t want it ruining our trip, so I’m choosing to deal with him when I get back.”
It was an uncharacteristically vulnerable move on her part. She didn’t back down to Jackson, yet she found herself doing just that to protect her trip—her time—with AJ.
“Who taught you to fight?”
Jillian smiled. Could a lie be the truth if someone’s life depended on it? “Our dad. He taught martial art classes and self-defense.”
AJ nodded, seemingly content with her explanation. Every day he got a little more curious or bold with his questioning. He claimed to not want to know about her and why she was the way she was, but h
is actions and questions began to contradict his intentions to not care.
“So why is Jackson so overprotective of his sister who clearly has the ability to protect herself and a small village?”
Jillian chuckled. “Since our parents died, I’m all he has and he’s all I have.”
AJ’s lips pulled into a firm line.
“Well, until you decided to make me your business.”
“Business is good.”
She laughed. “Cage would be proud. I do believe Mr. Serious is flirting … actually joking with me.”
In true Sarge style, AJ had to blow out the candle. “Well, don’t get used to it. It never lasts.”
Jillian stared at the entrance sign to the airport. Were she and AJ on that list of things that wouldn’t last?
*
AJ Monaghan was taking a woman to his parents’ house for the first time since his divorce. The invite wasn’t to meet his parents, it was more for a travel companion. Meeting his parents was an unavoidable part of the trip. Dealing with Jillian’s gifted talent of making him want to fuck her senseless with every word that fell from her snarky mouth also happened to be an unavoidable part of the trip.
“Do you mind if I sit by the window?” Jillian rested her hand on his chest as he lifted their bags into the overhead compartment. She did that a lot. It was an odd gesture and the hand of any other woman would have made him uncomfortable or even agitated, but he craved her touch. He craved everything about her.
“It’s all yours.”
“Thanks.” She reached up on her toes and kissed his neck. He looked around to see if anyone was watching. Public displays of affection were part of who she was, never giving any consideration to onlookers. It made the promise or threat of her intentions for their flight that much more terrifying.
“Do you like to fly?”
She shut off her phone and shoved her purse under the seat in front of her. “I don’t know. This will be my first time on a plane.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope.” She fastened her seat belt then gave him a smile.
“How is that possible?”
“Cars, trains, subways, boats …” She leaned over and kissed him on the mouth, dragging his bottom lip between her teeth. “I’m so damn horny right now,” she whispered over his lips.