by Jewel E. Ann
“I’m going to stop … doing that. Okay?” She could do it. She could do it without Luke. There was no other choice. Jackson was right. She had to make a choice between AJ and Jessica.
He nodded, but his eyes lacked conviction. Hers did too.
“I hope your control is stronger than mine.” He pulled her between his legs and rested his forehead against her sternum.
Jillian kissed the top of his head. Her feelings for him were intense and real. Comparing him to Luke wasn’t fair. Jillian had never been with Luke, Jessica had. As messed-up as making that distinction in her head felt, it was necessary. Luke was the love of Jessica’s life. Jillian deserved one too.
“We’re taking a walk before dinner. You two want to join us?” Char called down the hallway.
“Be right there,” AJ answered.
Jillian placed her palms on his cheeks and smiled. “I like your parents.”
“They’re good people.” He pressed his lips to her for a quick kiss. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“You’re adopted?” She smirked. “I’m not surprised. They…” she tipped her head toward the door “…are genuinely nice, happy people. And I’ve only exchanged a handful of words with them since we arrived.”
“Exactly, give them twenty-four hours, and they’ll be ready to kick your crazy ass to the curb.”
She kept her smile firm in place. He had no idea just how “crazy” she really was.
“As I was saying … I didn’t mention their neighbors.”
“You said Dodge and Lilith used to live next door.”
“Yes, but on the opposite side is Brooke, her husband, and their twin girls.”
“Oh … that’s …”
“Strange. I know, but it’s not as crazy as it seems.” AJ pursed his lips. “Well, it may be, but long story short, we bought the house next to my parents so my mom could help with Cage. I gave her the house in the divorce since she had Cage more often, but honestly I figured she’d sell it and move.”
“But she didn’t?”
“No. She stayed, married her boss, and five years ago they had twin girls that my mom babysits since Brooke’s mom passed away three years ago.”
Jillian took a step back. “Wow. Cage never mentioned he had twin sisters.”
“It is surprising because he thinks the world of them, but lately he’s been distracted by football and the naked neighbor lady getting the mail.”
“You realize you’re funny when you want to be.”
AJ shrugged. “I don’t try to be.”
“Yeah, I know that’s why it works. So why the warning? Are we all having dinner tonight?”
“No, but you’ll eventually see them.”
“We’re leaving tomorrow.”
“I know, but I also know Brooke. Trust me, my mom told her about our visit and Brooke never misses an opportunity to throw her perfect little life in my face.”
“And you’re good with that?”
AJ stared at Jillian’s feet with a pensive expression. “I loved her. The things I did to her were unforgivable and she hated me … still does. But I don’t begrudge her anything—not the house, not the relationship she’s kept with my parents, and definitely not her new family. So if it helps her to flaunt everything she has as a reminder of everything I did and everything I don’t have, then I’ll gladly accept it. It’s the least I can do.”
Jillian held out her hand. AJ looked at it with confusion.
“Come on, they’re waiting.”
He stood and took her hand.
“For the record … you, Aric James Monaghan, are a good guy. In spite of all your grumpiness and efforts to act otherwise. I see it and it’s amazing.”
He squeezed her hand and she felt the silent desperation in his grip. AJ needed her and that too was amazing.
*
“The twins will be staying with us when Rob and Brooke go to Mexico next month,” Char announced as they walked up the street, passing the house where AJ used to live.
AJ had always found it odd that Brooke’s new husband, Rob, would agree to move into a house where she used to live with her first husband—next door to his parents. In a small way he was proud of Brooke for taking charge, something he never allowed her to do. It was clear that Rob had tiny balls, but he adored Brooke so AJ found it easy to overlook his lack of a true man card.
“Beautiful house,” Jillian commented.
“Jim and AJ built it.”
He could feel Jillian’s eyes on him, wide with surprise. It was easier and safer to let her see the monster inside. AJ prayed his parents wouldn’t humanize him too much before they got the hell out of there.
“The boy has always been good with his hands,” Jim added.
Jillian released AJ’s hand and hugged his arm, begging for him to look at her, but it wasn’t going to happen. He knew how her mind worked and it was headed in the definite direction of everything he’d done to her with his hands and fingers. His dick was growing hard just thinking about it. He didn’t need to look at her fuck-me eyes to confirm it.
“I’ll second that.”
Too late.
“We’re all flying out for Cage’s pre-season game,” Char said.
“All?” AJ asked.
“Your father and I, Brooke, Rob, and the girls. We’ll stay with you of course, but they’ll find a hotel closer to campus.”
“They’re more than welcome to stay with me and my brother. We have two extra bedrooms and a bathroom in the garden level.”
AJ gasped the word “What?” at the same time his mom squealed “Really?” in complete delight. How could she make such an offer?
“Absolutely. I adore Cage, so of course his family is welcome to stay with us.”
“No way, that’s … you can’t make that offer.” AJ’s attempt to talk sense into a woman who, by all normal standards, was completely senseless.
“Why not?”
“You haven’t even asked Jackson.”
“Pfft, he won’t mind. He’ll probably make himself scarce anyhow.” She waved a dismissive hand.
“I like her, AJ. I like her a lot.” Char winked at Jillian, who looked like she just got accepted into the popular group at school. “I think she and Brooke will hit it off when they come over for dessert tonight.”
Jillian rolled her eyes to his with an I-told-you-so smirk stuck to her face. He refused to admit he lied because he didn’t … it wasn’t dinner. It was dessert.
They continued their walk and revealing conversation that included Jillian’s nighttime job. At first AJ was surprised that his parents took it so well, until his dad admitted that Dodge had already told them. Gossip wasn’t always bad.
“Dodge speaks so highly of you,” Jim said to Jillian as they sat on the deck waiting for dinner.
AJ grunted which earned him an elbow jab in the ribs.
“I love Dodge and Lilith. He’s completely obnoxious, though. I’m sure being deaf doesn’t seem like a blessing to Lilith, but with all his little digs I think she should feel grateful for the silence.”
“Oh, I’m sure she hears him since she’s only deaf in one ear, but I know what you mean. I’d imagine she pretends to not hear him most of the time.” Char rolled her eyes and took a sip of wine.
All the color drained from Jillian’s tan face.
“You okay?” AJ leaned over and whispered.
“F-fine,” she answered with a stiff nod and quivering voice. “I-I just remembered I forgot to call Jackson when we landed. He’s … uh … going to be worried.” She stood as though her legs were having trouble holding her.
“Okay … want me to come with you?”
She shook her head. “No … I’ve … I’ve got it. Be right … back.”
*
Not since the death of her parents had Jillian felt her heart struggle so hard for its next beat, her lungs deflate to the point of near asphyxia, or her stomach knot into a hard, brutal fist … until Char revealed that Lilith co
uld in fact hear.
The simple task of unlocking the screen on her phone proved to be a challenge with her shaky hands. What had she done?
“Way to not answer your fucking phone! What the hell were you thinking?” Jackson was livid about her leaving and flying, of all places, to the West Coast.
Tears mounted in her eyes as she thought about the consequences of what she had yet to tell him.
“Jackson?” Her voice shook as much as her hands.
“What’s wrong? Are you crying? What happened? Did he hurt you? I swear I’ll end his fucking life if he—”
“St-stop! It was m-me.” She walked into the bathroom and turned on the exhaust fan to drown out her voice.
“Just calm down … tell me what happened. Did you see someone? Did someone recognize you? Dammit! Knox is going to kill you for being so reckless.”
“No … that’s not it.” She took a deep breath. “It’s Lilith.”
“Dodge’s wife?”
“Yes.”
“Did something happen to her?”
“She’s not deaf, Jackson. She can hear.”
“I’m not following.”
“She knows … she knows about me … about us.”
“What do you mean she knows? How the hell could she know?”
Jillian sat on the toilet seat and batted away her tears. “I told her.”
“You told her? How? Why? I-I don’t understand.”
“I needed to tell someone … someone who wouldn’t tell anyone else and who would just let me talk without judgement. She never said anything, never acted like she could hear me.” Her words weren’t entirely true. Looking back there were many clues that Lilith could hear, but Jillian was too blinded by her selfish needs to see it or even question it.
“I’ll take care of it.”
“What? No! Don’t you dare do anything until I get home.”
“Jillian, we don’t have the luxury of time right now. It could already be too late. God knows who she’s told. I need to end this and let Knox know there’s been a breach.”
Uncontrollable panic set in. Jillian jumped up. “No! No! No!” Taking care of things, meant eliminating the source. “You lay one fucking hand on her and I swear I’ll—”
“What? Kill me? Really, Jill? You’re going with that one?”
Jillian clenched and pulled at her hair. “She’s not a threat. Don’t do this. Wait for me or I swear I’ll never forgive you.”
Silence filled the line, suffocating Jillian in that tight little space waiting for Jackson to respond.
“Are you willing to bet your life on the chance that she’s not told anyone?”
Jillian leaned against the door and closed her eyes. She played back all the sympathetic looks, kind smiles, and soft hand squeezes that Lilith had given her. She thought of how excited Lilith always was to see her.
“Yes.”
“Fine. But if you’re wrong—”
“I’m not, Jackson. I just … I just know.”
“You have to get your shit together. If you’re fine, then be fucking fine, but if you’re not then we have to get you help because I don’t want to live this way.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“We can put bullets in our heads tomorrow if that’s what you want, but don’t self-destruct on me. Not after everything we’ve been through.”
“I’ll see you in a few days.”
“Jill?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“I know. I love you too. Bye.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Stunning. It was the only word to describe Brooke. Jillian by no means was vain, but she considered herself to have some attractive traits … until Brooke. She was Jillian’s opposite in every way which left Jillian wondering what the opposite of stunning was.
Brooke was a Victoria’s Secret runway model, at least in Jillian’s eyes. She had to be older than Jillian for Cage to be her son, but the angel didn’t look a day over twenty-five. Three kids … she’d given birth to three children. It didn’t seem possible.
“So how did you two meet?” Brooke asked Jillian as the women sliced up pie and scooped ice cream into bowls while the men and the twins waited on the deck.
“I’m his neighbor.”
“I’ll start taking these out,” Char said as she grabbed several bowls and headed outside.
Brooke poked at the ice cream with the scoop, wearing a look of contemplation on her face. “I know it’s no longer my business, but you seem like a nice person so I have to ask if you’re aware that he’s …” She looked up at Jillian.
“He’s?”
“Not right.”
Jillian nodded once. “I assume you’re referring to the PTSD?”
“Yes. Has he talked about it with you?”
“A little.”
“Well, I’m not trying to cause any friction. All I want is for him to be … fine, but I just couldn’t bear to see you get hurt and wish I would have said something.”
Leaning against the counter, Jillian took a bite of the warm pie. Brooke wanted him to be fine, not happy. Her pain and anger were clearly still raw. “I’m stronger than I look.”
Brooke smiled, but it had a condescending feel to it. “Just be careful. He can turn on a dime.”
Char entered the kitchen. “Did Jillian tell you that you, Rob, and the girls can stay at her house when we all fly out in a few weeks?”
“Really?” Brooke’s perfect eyebrows peaked in surprise.
“Yes, we’d love to have you.”
“We?” Brooke questioned.
“I live with my brother, Jackson.”
“Oh … well, sure. That’s so nice of you. But only if you’re sure.”
Jillian wasn’t sure of anything since dealing with Jackson and the Lilith revelation.
“Positive.”
“Amazing pie, Mom.” AJ brought in the empty bowls.
“Jillian’s graciously invited us to stay with her, AJ. Are you okay with it?” Brooke crossed her arms over her chest.
Jillian noticed her doing that whenever AJ was in the same room. Maybe it was habit—protection of sorts. Regardless, there was no denying the tension between them.
“It’s her house. She doesn’t need my permission to invite you to stay. I would have asked you to stay with me, but I don’t have enough beds.”
Jillian looked at AJ with a slight twitch of her brow. Would he really have offered to let them stay with him? Would Brooke have agreed to sleep under the same roof when her tolerance for sharing space in the same room as AJ seemed minimal?
“We’ll talk as it gets closer, but I really do appreciate the offer, Jillian.” Brooke gave her a genuine smile. “We’d better get going. The girls have to be to camp early in the morning.”
Brooke gathered her family and they said their goodbyes. She whispered “Don’t let your guard down,” in Jillian’s ear before leaving. It should have sent chills racing down Jillian’s spine, but instead she felt sorry for Brooke and how she still grieved the man she’d loved and feared the man she hated.
“I’ll have breakfast ready by seven,” Char gave both AJ and Jillian hugs before they went to bed.
“Sounds great. We’ll have to hit the road right after that.”
“Good night,” they all chimed.
AJ locked the bedroom door behind them. Jillian’s body shivered with promise.
“Brooke is gorgeous.”
AJ toed off his shoes and peeled off his socks as he looked at Jillian with his head cocked to the side. “You’re not the jealous type.”
Jillian shrugged as she undressed. “No. Not usually.” He was right. Jealously was an unnecessary emotion, toxic and destructive—but entirely human.
“Well don’t start now. When I fuck you it’s fifty percent your body and fifty percent your attitude. It’s a close tie as to which one arouses me the most.”
Jillian wet her lips and rubbed them together as he sauntered tow
ard her in just his briefs and a dark look in his eyes. She slipped off her bra.
AJ shook his head. “Not tonight.” He picked up the blanket from the floor and spread it out by the pillow.
“You’re joking right?”
“No. My parents are just down the hall and you’re too loud.” He settled onto the floor, giving his pillow a quick fluff. “And my body is still recovering from the post-flight beating.”
“I won’t make you bleed.”
His brow peaked.
Jillian swallowed, searching for conviction in her words. “I won’t … and I-I won’t make a sound.” She slipped off her thong and tossed it on his chest.
He brought it to his nose as his eyes perused her naked body. Men were such dogs. She loved smelling Luke’s clothes, but never in her life had she considered taking a sniff of his underwear.
“No.” He slingshotted the thong back to her. “Besides. I’m fighting a headache.” Closing his eyes, he rubbed his temples.
“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”
“Believe me, I’d gladly give you this headache.”
“You’re such a gentleman. Come here.” She slipped on his T-shirt and knelt on the bed.
“I’m good down here.”
“I’m not going to break your nose. Get your ass up here … on your stomach and I’ll give you a massage.”
He peeked open his eyes, then crawled up onto the bed.
“Have you taken anything for it?”
“Yeah, right after dinner. But it’s not doing the job.”
Jillian straddled his butt and kneaded his muscles.
“You were nervous earlier before you left to call Jackson. Was there a problem?”
“What makes you think I was nervous?”
“I’m good at reading people. You looked terrified.”
She dug her fingers into a knot under his shoulder blade and he moaned. “I said I would call him as soon as we landed and it occurred to me that it had completely slipped my mind. I guess I was just thinking of how worried and pissed he probably was.”
“And was he?”
“Of course. But everything’s fine now.”
“Why were you crying?”
“I wasn’t.”
“Your eyes were red when you came out.”
Jillian had met her match in so many ways. “He yelled at me about leaving without telling him first. It hurt my feelings.”