by Sandra Brown
With meticulous care, he supported her against one of his arms and, leaning her back, slowly pulled the shirtwaist from her shoulders and slid the sleeves down her arms.
It was off. She still slept. He was perspiring and trembling. He pressed her against him, postponing the moment when he would look at her, savoring the anticipation.
He reached up and began hunting for the pins that held her hair, removing them gently as he found them among the thick tresses. Her hair tumbled down her back and over her shoulders, spilling into his hands. Then, as he had wanted to do ever since he had first seen her, he ran his hands through the black silk, caressing each strand, rubbing the smooth curls between his fingers, delighting in the feel of them the way a miser loves the feel of gold. He buried his face in her hair and whispered accolades to its glory.
Jared lowered her gently onto the bed, slipping the skirt and petticoats from around her ankles. She lay on the pillow and sighed contentedly, her hair fanning out behind her on the snowy linen.
Jared sat on the side of the bed, easing himself down in order not to wake her. God! She was exquisite. Even the lines of fatigue around her mouth and the hollows in her cheeks added to her beauty. Long black lashes rested on alabaster cheeks. He followed the column of her neck to the base of her throat, where he saw the flutter of her pulse. Her shoulders were white and sloped into a flawless bosom.
He hesitated, but his fingers moved of their own volition and reached out to the top of her camisole. He untied the blue satin ribbon that was threaded through the eyelet lace and slowly, leisurely unbuttoned the first few buttons. Again he wanted to prolong the anticipation.
His eyes traveled down to her waist, which was wasp-thin, then to the slight flair of her hips. He usually preferred more voluptuous curves, but she was perfectly proportioned, he noticed as he took in the long, slender thighs and shapely calves.
Damn! He had forgotten the shoes. The tedious buttons were almost impossible to handle in the dark, but he finally succeeded in undoing them all.
When he had slipped her shoes off silk-encased feet, he returned his gaze to her face as his fingers slowly parted the camisole. She didn’t stir. His eyes wandered aimlessly, until he rewarded his patience and looked down at her.
He had imagined how she would look, but the fantasies were inadequate and he wasn’t prepared for the vision that greeted his eyes. Two perfectly shaped breasts, round, high, and firm, were displayed. Her skin was as creamy and white as a magnolia blossom. The nipples that crowned each soft mound were virginally pink. Botticelli would have adored her. Her ethereal beauty was definitely quattrocento. Rosa wasn’t far from wrong. In her naked loveliness, she appeared to be an angel.
But Jared was mortal, and he wanted her as he had never wanted a woman before. He carefully lowered his head and kissed the pulse in her throat. Then his lips traveled with a blissful laziness over her breasts, nibbling and licking lightly so she wouldn’t ever know that he had worshiped at this temple of her body. She was forbidden to him. It was a self-imposed denial, but that made it even more binding.
But now, now…
He raised his head and touched one rosy nipple. Gently rolling it between his fingers, he watched in fascination as it responded to his touch and became pointed and inviting. Unable to resist, his mouth opened around it. It melted against his tongue like a piece of sugar candy, and tasted even sweeter.
His eyes lifted once again to the face that lay in peaceful repose in the cape of black hair. “Lauren, forgive me,” he whispered as he lowered his mouth once again.
* * *
When Lauren awakened not long before noon, she couldn’t remember the events of the past few days or why she was sleeping so late and wearing her underwear and stockings. She stretched cramped muscles as she pieced together the fragments flashing through her memory.
Elena! She recalled the girl’s illness and jumped out of bed, throwing back the single blanket that covered her. Why was she sleeping on top of the bedspread? Disoriented, she stood in the middle of her room, her hands on either side of her head, trying to banish the yellow spots that danced against the black curtain which seemed to have fallen over her eyes. She reeled dizzily. She had stood up too fast for the blood to flow into her head. Lack of proper food for the past six days had rendered her weak.
Rosa bustled in as Lauren was feeling her way back to the edge of the bed.
“Señora Lauren, you are awake! You have been sleeping like a baby.”
“How is Elena?” she asked quickly. The radiant look on Rosa’s face dispelled any fears.
“She is weak and sleepy, but she ate some toast this morning and talked to Carlos.” The happy features drooped a little. “We had to tell her about the niña, and she is very sad. But seeing Carlos made her feel better. She is grateful to you, señora. I thank you, too.” Her lip began to tremble.
“I’m glad I could help Elena. I only wish we could have saved the baby, though after the high fever, Isabela might never have been completely healthy.”
“Sí, her little soul is in heaven and she is well now. If I know Elena and Carlos, they will make another niño soon.” She grinned broadly. “I brought your breakfast.” She stepped out to the hall and retrieved a tray she had left on a hall table. The delicious aromas emanating from the dishes made Lauren’s mouth water. When had she last eaten a complete meal?
“Señor Jared told me to see that you stayed in bed and ate everything on the tray.”
“Is he… I mean, are the rest of the family healthy? I haven’t seen them for almost a week.”
“You saw Señor Jared last night, señora. Don’t you remember? You fainted in the kitchen. He brought you up to bed. Carried you in his arms.”
The room was spinning again and in her ears was a great roaring. She sipped the scalding tea and tried to keep her hand from shaking as she placed the cup back on the saucer.
“No… no, I… uh… don’t remember that. I know I was very tired.”
“He was angry I think for you to be so tired. You would like a bath, señora, sí?” Without waiting for an answer, Rosa waddled into the bathroom, gathering up the discarded clothes lying on the floor beside the bed.
Her clothes! Jared had put her to bed. Jared had undressed her!
She had dreamed of him during her deep sleep. She recalled the dreams vividly now. Jared was leaning over her and looking at her tenderly. His head was resting against her flesh. If only her arms hadn’t been so heavy, she could have reached up and run her fingers through the sun-bleached hair that tickled her throat. In one dream, Jared was whispering Spanish words against her ear. In another, he had been doing something with his mouth that spread a delicious warmth through her.
She finished eating slowly, distracted by the memory of her disturbing dreams. When she began undressing, she noticed the ribbon from her camisole was missing. She would have to tell Rosa to be more careful when laundering her underwear.
She stepped into the bathtub and welcomed the soothing warmth of the water. It had been days since she had enjoyed the luxury of a bath. Cupping her hands and ladling a handful of suds over herself, she was shocked when the soapy water caused a stinging sensation on her flesh. Involuntarily she gasped. Examining herself self-consciously, she noticed her nipples were slightly sore, though when she touched them, they tingled and a thrilling shiver coursed through her body. Her breasts were chafed, as if abraded by something scratchy. Whatever could have—
Her eyes dilated with the horror of the thought. Trembling fingers crammed against tight, compressed lips gone white with shock.
No! No! That could not be. Her dreams and this actuality had nothing to do with each other. It was unthinkable. Still, she quaked at the possibility. Jared, unshaven, seeing her, touching her, kissing…
Hastily she got out of the tub, dried quickly, and wrapped a robe around her before returning to the bedroom. “Where is Jared?” she asked Rosa timidly as she prepared to go downstairs and visit Elena. She wanted
to avoid him. Meeting him face to face with her speculations vividly intact would be too humiliating.
“He went to Austin this morning. He say he may be gone several weeks. Something to do with business. He left a package for you.” She bustled out the door and returned immediately with a small box. “He say you need this next time you go to Keypoint.”
Lauren untied the ribbon around the box, lifted the lid, and saw a blue silk scarf nestled in the tissue paper. A bandana. He had remembered that she needed one. Tears misted her eyes, but aware of Rosa’s keen perception, she shoved the scarf into one of her lingerie drawers with feigned indifference.
“I must remember to thank him when he comes home.” She walked out her door leaving Rosa shaking her head, baffled and disgusted.
Chapter 15
“Have you heard from Jared, Olivia?” Carson asked one night at dinner. “Seems he’s been in Austin an uncommon length of time.”
“Come, Carson,” Olivia said with a laugh, “you know why Jared is ‘detained’ in Austin. I’m amazed that he abstained as long as he did. Having a wife of convenience drives a man to find some release from his physical needs, doesn’t it, Lauren?”
Lauren’s fork clattered to her plate. How dare the woman be so blatantly crude! “Since it’s Jared’s ‘physical needs’ you’re referring to, you should save that question for him,” she retorted angrily. But underlying her anger was heart-sickness. Her mother-in-law was most probably right. Why else would Jared extend his stay in Austin? She hadn’t guessed she could miss him so much. The longer he was gone, the more the tension mounted in the house.
The daily routine in Coronado was different from that at Keypoint, but was routine nonetheless. Elena gained strength each day. If the weather permitted, she would walk with Lauren in the gardens, which boasted only a few chrysanthemum blooms. The wind, when it whistled in unpredictably from the north, was biting and bitter, and there were a few days in early November when it rained incessantly and Lauren thought she would go mad at the tedium of her life in the large house.
She longed for the hectic days at Keypoint with Rudy and Gloria, their loving banter, and the children with their pranks. She missed her quiet talks with Maria, too. A few months ago, Lauren would have been scandalized by a woman living with someone else’s husband, but she now condoned Maria’s life with Ben. Their love had been pure. Lauren’s uncharacteristic broadmindedness was due in part to her knowledge of the kind of life Ben must have had with Olivia.
Olivia went to the bank most days, and when she stayed at home, Carson telephoned often from his office. He was always at the house for dinner, and Lauren was grateful for his kindly presence. She could not have borne being alone with Olivia. The woman looked at her with such hostility that it startled Lauren each time she caught Olivia’s emerald glare on her.
Carson continued to be obsequious to Olivia. They talked constantly about the railroad and the plans for the power plant. Apparently any hesitation Olivia had once had about forming an alliance with the Vandivers no longer existed. She commended their decisiveness and ability to manipulate others to achieve their goals. Olivia mentioned Kurt often, and always with a sly look in Lauren’s direction, which made her feel distinctly uncomfortable.
One evening at dinner, Olivia observed her daughter-in-law balefully through a forest of lowered lashes. She would never forgive her for convincing Jared to allow that sick Mexican and her baby to remain under her roof. The fact that Lauren gave shelter to an ailing Mexican was bad enough, but her real transgression was that she had triumphed over Olivia in an argument with Jared. More threatening than that, she had forced Jared to make a decision. That could be dangerous to Olivia’s plans. If Lauren gained any control over him, it could jeopardize everything.
Olivia also resented that, for appearance’s sake, she had to act the doting mother-in-law. God! Friends pressed her for news of approaching grandchildren. They simpered over their teacups about how handsome Jared and Lauren looked together, and ladies coming into the bank stopped to remark how wonderful it was that Jared, after having waited so long, had finally found the perfect mate. Olivia bore it all with a stiff smile and the proper responses. She dutifully attended church with Lauren every Sunday. The young woman insisted on going, and Olivia knew it would never do for Jared’s wife to be seen there alone.
It was evident that Lauren had formed quite an attachment to the family at Keypoint. Whenever Carson drew her into conversation, she ended up relating some anecdote that had happened at the ranch. She never mentioned names, though Olivia knew each character in these narratives intimately. When you hate someone for as long as she had hated Maria Mendez, her son, and his brood, you come to know them quite well. She had made it an obsession to learn all she could about them.
Unable to punish the Mendezes just yet for the humiliation they had caused her, she found a perfect scapegoat in Lauren. She had been raised to honor her elders, to respect family, and to bear persecution with forbearance and forgiveness.
Olivia was quite sure that the marriage between Jared and Lauren had not been consummated, though she was well aware of her son’s strong sexual appetite. Her lips tightened into a bitter line when she equated it with her late husband’s.
She was certain Jared’s fierce pride would have kept him from loving any woman chosen for him by his father. Still, the girl had a look, a way about her that Olivia knew was irresistible to men. That gentleness, that vulnerability shook them to their very core. She herself had never had that quality, and she loathed it in other women.
In every glance, gesture, and spoken word, Olivia tormented Lauren. She must keep Jared and his wife at odds with each other. To think that they might reverse her whole scheme and from a lasting affection was an abhorrent possibility.
It wasn’t jealousy, Olivia assured herself. Jealousy was such a petty emotion, and far beneath her dignity. All she demanded in any relationship was absolute loyalty. Ben had betrayed her love with disloyalty. Olivia was determined that Jared would not.
“How is Elena, Lauren? All well by now, I hope.” Dinner was over and Carson had followed the ladies into the parlor for coffee. Lauren knew that Olivia’s question didn’t stem from concern. It was merely to remind her again that she had gone against Olivia’s commands.
“Yes, she’s recovered. The death of her baby was a blow she’ll not soon get over, but that is to be expected.”
“Most unfortunate that the child couldn’t live, Lauren. You did a miraculous job of pulling the young woman out of it.”
“Thank you, Carson, but I had self-interested motives. Scarlet fever nearly cost me my life. This was my only opportunity to fight back.”
“It’s a shame those Mexicans in Pueblo can’t keep their community clean and sanitary.” Olivia’s face was ugly.
“I’m sure they do their best. I don’t think they choose for their children to die,” Lauren said quietly but with conviction.
“Nonsense. You haven’t been here long enough to know how dirty those people are. They’re vile.”
“How can you say that Rosa is vile and then eat the meals she prepares? She’s the cleanest person I’ve ever met,” Lauren said heatedly.
Olivia tossed her head in anger. Her green eyes were brilliant and her slender fingers gripped the arms of the chair like talons. “It won’t be long until we will be able to relieve some of their worries in Pueblo. I can’t wait—”
“Olivia!” Carson interrupted abruptly. “I don’t think we should discuss this any further. I can see that it upsets you.” He gave her a telling look.
Olivia drew herself up sharply, then let her breath out slowly. She had almost made a blunder and was grateful that she had been stopped. “You are quite right, Carson, it does upset me. More coffee?”
Lauren excused herself and went upstairs. Unable to stop herself, she paused outside the door of Jared’s room, staring at it intently. What did she expect to see? Would the door dissolve and reveal him sitting in a chair smo
king one of his inevitable cheroots? Would he materialize before her as he did in her dreams night after night?
No. He wasn’t here. He was in Austin on “business.” Surmising what kind of business he was involved in brought a heavy pain to her heart. Was he with another woman? Women? Why should she care? Yet she did.
Her hand went instinctively to the watch pinned on her breast. Without conscious thought, her fingers lowered and lightly brushed her nipple through the soft cotton of her blouse. Her whole body flushed hotly and she caught her breath at the sensations that assailed her.
Did you really touch me here, Jared? she asked the darkness. She didn’t want to know, didn’t want to care, but couldn’t refrain from adding, What did you think of me?
Anguish and loneliness accompanied her into her room.
* * *
Jared came home the day before Thanksgiving. Lauren was in her room reading. Her heart leaped in her chest when she heard the familiar clump of boots and the ring of spurs in the hallway. She gripped the book tightly and held it against her. The door to his room opened and closed quietly, and she heard the thump of valises on the floor. He moved around the room awhile, then the bed creaked as his weight was lowered onto it. All became quiet.
Try as she might, Lauren couldn’t regain her interest in the book.
She took a great deal of care in dressing for dinner, donning a flattering dress and soft kid slippers. Her hair had been washed and brushed. She had a wild impulse to leave it hanging loose but, of course, that would be unseemly. Instead, she let Elena arrange it in a glossy pompadour.
She heard Jared leave his room and go downstairs, and followed a few minutes later. She was incredibly nervous. How could she face him after he had taken her to her room, undressed her, and put her to bed? And if he had…
She walked into the parlor and her heart turned over when she saw his tall, broad back leaning over the sideboard as he poured a drink.