by Sandra Brown
Her eyes took in the ceiling of Jared’s room at Keypoint. The familiar window was there, but the drapes were drawn against bright sunlight she saw around the edges of them. The large wardrobe stood against the opposite wall. Slowly she turned her head. Reclining in the chair at her bedside was Jared.
He wasn’t dead! He was alive. She wanted to shout with joy. She felt a momentary pang of guilt at her happiness, knowing that Rudy must have been the one shot in the cave. Gloria! The children!
But she couldn’t help staring in wonder and love at the man to whom she was married. He was asleep, his hands dangling off the arms of the chair. Lauren remembered seeing one of those hands hanging outside the buggy that carried him to his father’s funeral. It had looked just like that, casual, negligent, yet bespeaking strength. That was so long ago. She looked up at his face and was instantly alarmed. He looked haggard and worn. His cheeks were sunken. Deep lines furrowed across his forehead and down the sides of his sensuous mouth. His lashes rested on dark shadows under his eyes. Several days’ growth of beard stood out from his chin and his clothes were rumpled and stained. What had happened to him? She wanted to smooth the blond-streaked curls away from his brow where they lay limply.
The door to the bedroom opened slowly, and Gloria came through it carrying a tray with a teapot on it. She closed the door behind her and stopped with a small cry when she saw that Lauren’s eyes were open. “Gracias a Dios! Lauren, you are awake.”
Jared bolted out of the chair, trying to assimilate his surroundings after being startled out of an exhausted sleep. He stumbled to the bed and fell to his knees beside it, searching Lauren’s face for signs of pain or delirium.
“Jared?” she sighed.
“Darling.” He held both her hands tightly, as if he would never let them go. “How do you feel?”
Darling? Had he called her “darling”? Maybe she was still dreaming.
“How do you think she feels?” questioned Gloria with amusement, trying to ease the tension she felt building in the room. “She’s hungry and weak, and probably still has a headache.”
Lauren looked from one of them to another. “Rudy?” she asked with a trembling lip. A tear escaped her lid and trailed down her pale cheek.
“He’s not near as nice an invalid as you are,” Gloria said cheerfully. “He doesn’t sleep all the time like you. Instead, he whines and complains and tries to sneak out of bed.”
“He’s alive?” Lauren was confused. Had she dreamed the incidents in the cave? Her head ached abominably.
Jared answered her quietly, smoothing back tendrils of hair from her cheek. “Yes, he’s alive. It would take more than a wound in the shoulder to kill him.”
“But I saw him die.” She began crying in earnest as memory of all that had happened came flooding back.
Jared gathered her into his arms and shushed her. “It’s all right, now, Lauren. It’s all over. Don’t cry. We’re all safe. Shhhhh.”
She rested against his strong chest, letting his strength flow into her. Then a terrifying thought occurred to her. The baby! She pushed herself away from him and looked into his eyes. “My baby? Is it all right?”
Jared looked puzzled and then smiled a gentle, patient smile. “Darling, you’ve been delirious for days and had some very confused dreams. That must have been one of them.”
“No it wasn’t.” Gloria watched this tender scene with tear-blurred eyes. “Dr. Graham told me she was pregnant after he examined her. I… I thought you had enough to worry about, Jared, so I didn’t tell you. Lauren, your baby is fine.”
Jared stared at his sister-in-law stupidly before turning once again to Lauren. “You’re going to have a baby? A baby?” he asked incredulously. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Lauren’s lip began to quiver with emotion again and tears rolled down her cheeks as she remembered the last few weeks before that fateful night. Even now she could hear Jared’s harsh voice and see his cold face as he denounced her in front of Olivia and the Vandivers.
When he saw the hurt so blatantly apparent on her face, he had a hard time keeping tears out of his own eyes. He cupped her face between his hands and whispered, “Why, indeed?” He wiped away her tears with his thumbs and looked deeply into the gray pools so full of disillusionment. “Can you ever forgive me for the hell I’ve put you through? Can you, Lauren?” His voice cracked with distress. His plea was desperate. Gloria didn’t wait to hear any more. She crept out of the room and shut the door on the two who had so much to discuss.
* * *
Jared came out of the room about an hour later. He glanced over his shoulder at the bed one more time, assuring himself that Lauren was still there though he had just left her side. She was no longer in danger, but he wasn’t taking any chances.
He found Gloria in the bedroom with her husband, trying to keep him in bed one more day. Rudy’s shoulder was swathed in bandages, but it seemed to be mending properly. They looked up expectantly when Jared entered.
“She’s sleeping again, but peacefully,” he answered the question he read in their eyes. “God, but I’m tired.” He collapsed into the nearest chair and buried his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms.
“She’s been through a lot, Jared. We still don’t know what happened to her before we got there. She’s the only one who can tie up the loose ends, but we can’t press her on it. It will take time for her mental injuries to heal.” Rudy knew his brother had suffered since they had brought Lauren out of the cave.
* * *
Rudy had regained consciousness just in time to see Kurt Vandiver pitch forward after the rifle blast. Pandemonium broke loose. Jared leapt across the cave to Lauren’s side, bending over her and shouting her name with a strangled cry. Thorn came in as stoic as ever. As had been arranged, he was waiting just beyond the room in the tunnel leading to the outside. It was his idea that the brothers go in looking like identical reproductions of each other. His Indian blood put a lot of stock in the psychological breakdown of one’s enemy. Anything that would be unnerving to one’s opponent was considered a weapon. He was to wait outside and make sure Kurt died if anything happened to Rudy or Jared. He understood and didn’t question Jared’s need to seek his own vengeance.
Thorn had come into the cave and assessed the situation quickly. He bent over Rudy and gave him a perfunctory examination. Fortunately it was a superficial wound. He hid the fact that an inch lower and the bullet could have punctured his friend’s lung. Then he stood and walked to the bodies of Wat and June Duncan, giving them no more than a glance. As he knelt beside Crazy Jack and ascertained that the hermit was still alive, Thorn immediately began giving him first aid, because his wound was more serious than Rudy’s.
* * *
Jared sighed and closed his eyes as he began to speak. “I filled her in on what happened. About how we left the cave with her and me on Charger and Cr… Jack riding with Thorn. She didn’t think it was near as funny as I did that you fainted and nearly fell off your horse when we crossed the river.”
A grin split his tired features and Rudy scowled at him. “Yeah, well, just let me get well and we’ll see how funny you think it was.” Rudy knew his brother was only teasing him, and they looked at each other with mutual love.
“Lauren’s worried because Thorn didn’t take out the bullet in Jack’s chest,” Jared continued. “But I told her it was too deep, too close to vital organs.”
“I think he’ll be all right,” Gloria said. “Especially since Thorn’s taking care of the wound.”
“That’s what I told Lauren,” Jared said. “She’s glad we left him with Elena.” Elena had taken the old man under her wing as would a loving mother. With black eyes flashing and braids dancing as she tossed her head, she said, “He’ll never go back to live in that old cave. I promise that on my daughter’s grave!” Lauren had laughed when Jared told her about Elena’s pledge.
He didn’t tell her about the misery he had suffered. When they
had brought her battered body back to Keypoint, he had been beside himself.
Her torn clothing and the blood splattered on her torso and face could only hint at the horrors she had been through. She had shown no outward signs of injury, but kept vomiting even in her unconscious state. Dr. Graham was dispatched, but it wasn’t until noon that he finally arrived. He had diagnosed a concussion and showed them the lump on her scalp underneath her dark hair. He had also discovered that the lady was pregnant, but confided this information only to Gloria after taking one look at Jared’s haunted face. Besides, the news about his mother would also be devastating to this young man. He feared for Jared’s sanity.
But Jared surprised them all and received the news of his mother’s death with grim resignation. The shock of seeing Lauren near death so absorbed him that it cushioned all other blows.
Dr. Graham followed Jared back to Keypoint after the expedient and private funeral for Olivia and Carson in Coronado. He was disturbed to find that Lauren hadn’t yet regained consciousness, but said that he had done all he could.
“She’ll have to come out of this by herself and in her own good time. I just hope she’s… well, she received quite a blow on the head.”
He left them with those grim words. That had been five days ago. Jared had barely left the room since then, pacing back and forth like a caged animal and snapping at anyone who even suggested that he rest.
Now, as he sat with his head hanging low over his knees, Gloria and Rudy felt compassion for him. He had come so close to losing the woman he had only recently realized that he loved.
He spoke in a low voice. “She remembered shooting Kurt, and it was horrible for her. She feels so damned guilty.” He couldn’t meet their eyes. “She said that he didn’t… uh… do anything to her except… touch her. And Duncan… God! Will she ever be normal again?” He threw his head back and clenched his bared teeth, tormented by thoughts of the way Lauren had been mistreated. By everyone. By him.
“Did you tell her about Olivia and Carson?” Gloria asked.
Jared sighed wearily. “Yes. I wanted to spare her the details, but she wouldn’t let me.” He was still amazed that even in her own pain, she had consoled him for his mother’s death. She had reached out pale, thin fingers and placed them against his lips as he told her about the grisly sight that Rosa had found in the office.
“Do you know what she said?” he asked them rhetorically. “She said that Mother was to be pitied. How can she be so generous after everything Mother said and did to her?” He shook his head in wonder. His voice was choked when he added, “She said that Mother had loved me in the only way she could, that it wasn’t in her nature to love sacrificially.”
Gloria was touched by his desire to believe that. “I think Lauren is probably right, Jared,” she said.
“Yeah, well.” He cleared his throat and sat up straighter, trying to control the emotions that were so near the surface. “She was shocked to hear about Parker leaving Austin when he found out about Kurt’s death. Then I explained about the shady deals he was pulling off with some of his railroad buddies, getting kickbacks and so forth. She didn’t know that all these months I’ve been skirting Vandiver and his yes-men and going to the top executives of the TransPlains Railroad and working out my own deals with them. Vandiver barely crossed the state line into Oklahoma Territory before he could be caught. I haven’t finished with him yet.”
“What about the railroad?” Gloria asked.
“Oh, we’ll get it. On schedule, too.” He smiled. “I told Lauren the bank would be subsidizing Kendrick and helping him expand his power plant’s operation without jeopardizing anyone’s water supply. I even promised to initiate some more community improvements in Pueblo.” He laughed. “I feel like the Salvation Army.”
“Jared, you jackass. Why did you let her think you were in cahoots with Vandiver?” Rudy was thoroughly disgusted at his brother’s lack of openness with his wife.
“Because if we became too close, Mother and the Vandivers would have become suspicious. After I fell…” He blushed uncharacteristically. “After I fell in love with Lauren, I had to turn my back on her. Otherwise, they would have known I wasn’t on their side and I would have been powerless to fight them. She had heard our conversation on the porch that night, Rudy, and thought I was talking about their plan to raid Pueblo.”
“She didn’t know you were planning to take a virtual army of vaqueros and ranchers and storm the Vandiver office complex in Austin. Thank God I was able to talk you out of that!”
“She thought all these midnight rides of mine were for meetings with the toughs that Vandiver had hired and not the men we had gathered up to ambush that gang when they rode into Pueblo.” His lips curled into a half-smile. “She even had poor Pepe bury boxes of ammunition, thinking it was for the mercenaries. Pepe, of course, was sworn to secrecy about my organizing Pueblo’s defense. As soon as she went back to the house, he had to dig the bullets up again.” He laughed softly, then stared at the floor and shook his head. “I just hope we’ll be able to reconcile our differences after all that’s happened.”
“Lauren is strong, Jared. She has shown a lot of fortitude by putting up with you for so long.” Gloria went to her brother-in-law and hugged him. “Go on now, and please take a bath. And rest. I’ll wake you later.”
He looked down at her and then at his brother propped up on pillows in the wide bed. He smiled boyishly as he asked, “Does Rudy know about the baby?”
His brother winked at him broadly. “Yes, I told him,” Gloria said and patted Jared on the back as he slumped out of the room.
* * *
Gloria was true to her word and awakened Jared when she had seen to Lauren’s needs. But by the time Jared had dressed and gone into the bedroom, she was asleep again. He didn’t have the heart to awaken her, but sat quietly in the chair beside the bed and watched her as she slept.
The next morning, Lauren awoke feeling much improved. Her brain wasn’t fuzzy, even though she now realized the full weight of the past events. She felt stronger and had a much more active appetite.
“Well, that’s no surprise,” said Gloria when Lauren mentioned it. “You have lived on sweetened tea for almost a week now.”
Rudy came in to visit her. She was so happy to see him alive, she felt tears gathering in her eyes. Embarrassed by her emotion, he made light of his injury, not wanting to remind her of the horrors of Crazy Jack’s cave.
In the course of the day, everyone came to see her but Jared. Pride kept her from asking about him. She knew she shouldn’t have expected him. He always deserted her. She should be accustomed to it by now.
Gloria was furious with her brother-in-law for riding out that morning before anyone else was up and about. She tried to ignore the hurt she read in Lauren’s eyes.
Something quite unexpected did cheer her, however. The clear notes of her piano were instantly recognizable, no matter how discordantly the keys were being pounded upon by the children.
“My piano!” she exclaimed.
“Yes,” Gloria said. “Jared had it brought out here. He’s closed up the house in Coronado for a while. He knew you’d want it. Rosa is with Elena, helping her care for Jack. The stables are now under Pepe’s supervision. Jared also has another surprise for you, but I’ll let him tell you about it.”
Lauren’s eyes closed and Gloria asked softly, “How do you really feel?”
“I’m all right. Truly. But I’m worried about my baby.”
“I’ve told you a thousand times, the doctor assured me that it was fine. He wants to see you in a couple of weeks to make sure that the baby is growing, but you didn’t lose it. Please believe me. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
Lauren took Gloria’s hand. “I know you wouldn’t. I was just so afraid.” She plucked at the bedspread with her other hand. “The baby may be all I have left,” she mumbled.
* * *
Jared returned late. He took Charger to the stables and commissioned Pep
e to take care of him. Then he went into the bunkhouse and washed and changed clothes. He had been riding all day and felt grimy.
When he was clean and brushed, he went into the house. With a fleeting hello to Rudy and Gloria, who sat in the living room surrounded by their children, he went directly to his bedroom.
The room was dim; only one lamp on the vanity across from the bed had been lit. In the shadows, he saw Lauren leaning against the fresh linens that Gloria had put on the bed.
Her hair had been brushed until it shone like the wings of a raven. She wore a snowy nightgown, the scooped neckline molding to the gentle rise of her breast. Her skin, dusted by talc after a sponge bath, shone with the iridescence of a pearl.
Jared closed the door quietly behind him and walked toward the bed, thinking she might be asleep. But as he drew nearer, he saw that her eyes were open and that she was watching him.
“Hello, Jared.” An emotional whisper was all she could manage.
“Lauren.” He asked her permission to sit down by raising his eyebrows, and she accommodated him by sliding over toward the middle of the bed. He lowered himself next to her and studied her face, taking in every lovely detail. Lauren had never seen such a tender expression on his face. Even during moments of passion, she had never captured so much… love… in his eyes.
“Today I rode out to Pecan Creek and looked over the place where I want to build the house. The way Rudy’s family keeps multiplying. I think they will squeeze us out before too long.” He took her hand. “I’m not sure if we can have the house completed by the time the baby comes, but we’ll be able to provide our son—or daughter—with some kind of roof. I paced off a few of the rooms, so we can start construction right away.” She looked so surprised that he said hurriedly, “If you like the site and the house plans, that is.”
She stuttered, “I… I know I will, but are you sure you want me to stay?”
“Want you to stay?” he asked, genuinely puzzled. “What the hell are you talking about?”