by S. M. Butler
“No baby talk at the girls, Jane. You know that.”
“But they’re so cute and cuddly-wuddly. I just can’t help myself.” Jane shrugged and grabbed the box of cereal from the counter and sat down in the chair by the girls. She ate one piece and then held one out for Riley.
“She’s not eating,” I told her, but Riley, of course, proved me wrong as she wrapped her fist around the cereal piece and shoved it in her mouth. She made the “mmm” sound while she chewed. I rolled my eyes. “That’s just my luck.”
“What? She likes me.” Jane shot me a big grin. Jealousy and irritation rolled through me. Six months watching my friend get further with my children than I could was frustrating.
“Wanna take her home with you?” I snapped.
“You know I would.” Jane laughed, mostly because she knew I didn’t mean it. I loved my girls. I was just tired, and anxious. My eyes slid over to the cell phone on the counter, which had been silent for hours. It was a long plane ride from Germany. But the Dallas flight was only three hours. I glanced at the clock. Almost time.
“He hasn’t phoned yet?”
I shook my head. “He’s still in the air. Connecting flight from Dallas.” I blew out a breath. “He’ll call when he lands so I have time to get out the door and get to the airport.”
Jane nodded and fed Riley another piece of cereal. I tried not to be jealous at how good Riley was being for Jane. It was a rare moment when I could get her to be still long enough to eat.
Brody had been gone since the girls were two weeks old. I wasn’t sure yet how they’d react to another person around. The psychologist at the base suggested a slow transition if they were skittish around him. I hoped for Brody’s sake they weren’t. Riley might be, but I didn’t think Jackie would be. She was my brave soul, where Riley was the scaredy cat.
“Devyn, sit down.” Jane patted the empty place at the table. “Relax. He’ll phone soon enough.”
“I can’t. I need to clean.”
“You’ve been cleaning for a week, since you heard from Brody. The house is spotless.” She paused. “Well, except for that huge mud trail I just tracked in.”
I inhaled sharply, but she grabbed my wrist before I could leap for the carpet stain remover. “I’m joking, sweetheart. Sit.” She forcibly pulled me over to her, and pointed to the chair next to her. “Now.”
I flopped into the seat. I needed to do something with my hands. I was a nervous wreck.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Everything.” I wasn’t totally sure, to be honest. I plopped my chin on my hands. “I’m a mess. I’ve stripped this house so clean it sparkles. I filled this house to the brim with food. But I can’t even feed my kids, or take my eyes off that stupid phone.”
“It’s going to be fine. Once Brody gets here—”
“What if it isn’t?” I swallowed. “It’s been two years. I haven’t talked to him in two years. The only reason I even knew he was alive was because he changed his profile picture.” That had been our signal to each other. He couldn’t call me, or send me emails because of the high security involving his mission. So we’d devised a little nonverbal code for him to let me know he was safe. And then I’d upload a small clip of the girls to let him know I’d seen it.
“Bugger that. He’s the same guy who left you.”
“People change, Jane. Especially on deployments.” I faced my friend. “What if he’s changed too much?”
“Is that what’s bothering you?” Jane took my hand. “It’ll be an adjustment, sure. But you can do it. Having him here might even make it easier.”
I blew out a breath and leaned back in the chair. “I do love him. I love the girls. I’m just afraid that our whole lives here together are a joke. That when he gets back, everything is going to change, or I won’t love him anymore. What if… it’s not him I love?”
“Are you saying you’re in love with someone else?”
“No! I’m just… what if he gets back, and I find out that I’m more in love with the idea of him than him?” I didn’t know what I really felt, actually. I wanted to think that as soon as I’d see Brody, I’d run for him, and jump in his arms. But really… I wasn’t sure. Two years without your husband does something to a person. Deployments were rough situations, and not just for the military member. And I didn’t have the support system most of the SEAL wives had. I really didn’t hang out with any of them. I didn’t really have anything in common with them.
We hadn’t been married for long before he left for boot camp, and then BUD/S, and we’d hardly had any time before he’d been called up for this deployment. I knew being a SEAL would be an adjustment, but out of the five years we’d been married, we’d only actually been under the same roof for about eleven months.
“That’s nonsense.”
Typical Jane. She thought she knew everything. I hoped for my own sake that she was right. That Brody would come back the same guy. But I doubted it. I was twenty-one and a new mother when he’d left. The twins had been two weeks old. Both them and I had grown up over that time. We’d all learned how to crawl, and eventually walk together, and we’d done it all without Brody. So… how would life with him there be better for us?
~*~*~
Brody
My shoulder ached on descent, even though it was long since healed from its wound. My palms were sweaty. The cabin air was ridiculously hot and cold at the same time. I hadn’t slept at all, even on this last three hours of the journey from Dallas to San Diego. I’d been trying to get home for the last three days.
I was exhausted. Almost three days of bouncing between planes to get home. I hadn’t even had civvies. I’d bought what I was wearing in Germany while we’d been overnight there. Most of the guys had gone out drinking, as one did while in Germany, but I’d been too eager to get home to enjoy myself.
I wanted to be home.
Devyn Rose. That’s who she had been when I met her at thirteen years old. She’d tricked me into being her boyfriend. But the truth was, I hadn’t really minded being her boyfriend. I’d loved her since I met her.
But the thing that made me nervous the most was meeting the girls. The guys ribbed me relentlessly about how much I talked about the girls. But I couldn’t help myself. If I talked about it more, then it would be like I was there. Like I was really part of their lives, instead of being on the outside, halfway across the world.
The intercom dinged. “We’re making our descent on San Diego International now. We should be landing in about twenty minutes. Please turn off all electronic devices. Please return your tray tables and seats into their upright and locked positions and fasten your seatbelt.”
I closed my eyes and leaned back against my seat. I hated landings. I could jump out of a chopper without a second thought, but for some reason, plane landings set off alarms. I tightened my seatbelt and kept my hand over the buckle.
“I hate landings.” I glanced at my seat mate. The elderly gentleman had been largely silent most of the flight. He smiled. “Don’t you?”
“It’s not my favorite thing.”
He laughed.
The bounce of the plane’s landing gear hitting the runway jostled our entire world. The brakes slowed us almost to a stop. As we taxied off the runway, the captain came over the intercom allowing us cell phone usage. I’d charged my cell back in Germany for the first time in months so I could call Devyn when I landed.
But as it loaded up, I was suddenly struck with morbid fear. What if she had moved on? Her letters never said she had, but it was a real occurrence in the military. What if… she didn’t want me anymore?
“Calling a girl?”
I looked to my side, at the old man who had spoken before. Wrinkles crinkled at the corner of his eyes, and his skin probably hung just a little looser than it once had. The slight smile at his lips put me at ease, strangely enough.
“My wife, actually.”
“You’re young. Already married?”
“Might
as well have been married since I was thirteen. She’s owned my soul since the first moment I saw her.”
“Sometimes the good ones hit you early.” The older man agreed. “You Navy?”
I nodded.
“Thought so. Had that look about ya.”
“A look?”
“Yeah. Every service member has that look. Whether it’s the shape of their bodies, or the way they cut their hair. I can always tell what branch they’re from.”
“You got us all pegged, huh?”
He shrugged. “Years of experience.”
I didn’t reply. He didn’t look like the type to be prior military, but by that age, it was a difficult assertion to make.
“Anyway, I’m holding you up. I’ll let you call your wife.”
His timing was perfect, as the plane stopped at the gate and the seatbelt sign turned off. Everyone started moving to get their stuff, but I didn’t. My finger hovered over the call button… and with a quick burst of courage, I pressed the call button and listened to it ring.
Three times it rang before Devyn picked up. “Brody?”
A huge weight lifted from my chest I hadn’t even realized was there. Just the sound of her melodic voice was enough to relax me. Of course, that didn’t surprise me at all. She had that effect on me.
“Hey, sweetness.”
“Plane landed?”
“Yeah, we’re just up to the gate. Gotta hit baggage claim still.” A thought hit me, and I wasn’t sure how to approach it. “Want me to grab a taxi?”
“No!” Devyn exclaimed into the phone. “I mean, Jane is here to watch the girls. I’ll come get you.” Her voice was shaky. Was that fear?
“Who’s Jane?” I didn’t remember her ever mentioning Jane before. But then, I hadn’t really been around much, had I?
“My friend. I met her about a year ago, I guess. She’s been awesome and the girls love her.”
“Your voice sounds amazing. I can’t wait to see you,” I whispered. There was a pause. Did I scare her off? “Dev?”
“Yeah, I’m here,” she said. “I’m on my way out the door. I’ll see you at the baggage claim?”
“Yeah, number one.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye, sweetness.” I waited until she hung up, knowing I had a huge goofy-ass grin on my face. Nope. Nothing had changed for me. I still loved her like the goddamn teenage boy I’d been when I met her for the first time. My hope was that she also felt the same.
When the plane’s passengers began shuffling out of the plane, I stood up and grabbed my small carry-on from the overhead bin, following the line out into the terminal area.
Devyn
I ended the call and stared at the phone. He was here. I had to go. I had to pick up my husband. This was what I had been waiting for patiently for two years. So why was I suddenly terrified? I blew out a breath. “Okay. I have to… Um… I need to go.”
“Go, I’ll watch the girls. Don’t worry.” Jane smiled, two rows of brilliant white showing. I bit my lower lip, looking at the girls and second-guessing my decision.
I met her eyes. “Maybe I should take them. They’ll want to see their dad, right?”
“They don’t even know him yet, Devyn.” Jane pulled Riley onto her lap, and Riley wrapped a small hand around Jane’s index finger. “Wouldn’t you rather they stay here where they’re comfortable, and then you can introduce them properly?”
“I guess.” I frowned. “I just thought… I haven’t seen him in two years, Jane.” My heart was racing. I wasn’t sure if it was anxiety or excitement. Or maybe both. “I don’t know what’s best.”
“You should go. No worries, I’ll keep the girls safe.” A slow grin crept up on her face. “We’ll be right here.”
“Okay,” I nodded, gripping my keys in my hand. “Okay. You’ll be okay here?”
“How many times can one person say ‘okay’ in one breath? Go!”
She made a shooing motion with her hand. I was being stupid. I knew that, but I was nervous as hell.
“Right.” I grabbed my purse, and my phone and headed out the door. As I climbed into my car, my phone went off. I answered it without looking. “Hello?”
“Hey, Devyn!”
Oh, lord. My mother-in-law. This was so not the right time.
“Hi, Vera.”
“Your voice is all shaky. Are you running?”
“No, I’m just headed out.”
“Oh? I was just headed toward your house. I thought I might take the girls for lunch.”
“Yeah, that would be great. Jane’s there, with the girls. I didn’t want to mess with pulling them in and out of the carseats at the airport.”
“The airport?”
As soon as the word left my lips, I realized my mistake. I’d been so focused on getting Brody home I hadn’t told anyone else in the family know he was coming back.
“Is he here?” The woman’s voice trembled, and while I cursed myself, I knew I couldn’t keep it from her. It wasn’t fair.
“Brody just landed. He called me a few minutes ago.”
“Listen, Devyn.” Vera cleared her throat. “I understand that you might want to spend some time alone with Brody…. Um…”
I wanted to bang my head into the steering wheel. The guilt was sinking in. The woman was so freaking good at it. “Um, well, Vera, I’d planned an intimate dinner, but maybe you might like to come for the afternoon?” I was a horrible daughter-in-law. Brody’s parents hadn’t seen their son in two years either, but all I wanted was to hide Brody away and keep him for myself.
“Are you sure we wouldn’t be intruding?”
Of course you would be.
“Of course not. He’s your son. I’m sure he’ll be excited to see you.” I pasted on a smile, even though she couldn’t see me, because that was the only way I was going to keep the disappointment out of my voice.
“Great! I’ll get Ned and Matt and we’ll be there shortly.”
Oh, all of them. Yay. I ended the call with my mother-in-law and tossed the phone in the passenger seat as I exited the Coronado bridge and headed toward the airport on I-5. I’d worry about that in a minute. For now, I had someone very special waiting on me.
~*~*~
As I waited in the San Diego airport, the midday sun streaming through the large windows that made up the front of the airport, I picked at my fingernails. God, nerves flew through my body like my lunch wanted to explode out. I shouldn’t have been this nervous to see my husband, right? We hadn’t been married that long before he left on this deployment.
And I hadn’t lost all the baby weight in the last two years. The girls were with me all the time, unless I got someone to babysit. Going to the gym was kind of impossible. And there was never enough money, even with Brody’s hazard pay, for extra cash to buy a treadmill at home.
What if he thought I was too fat? What if… he came back different and didn’t love me anymore? He hadn’t sounded different on the phone. He still had that lovely timbre I adored, the one that made my insides quake with need. What if he didn’t find me as attractive? Two years of motherhood took its toll on me, as well as managing the house, and paying the bills, and the constant worry that Brody wouldn’t come home to me.
I looked up, and my entire thought process vanished. Brody was different from what I remembered. He carried himself taller. His dark hair was short and crisp, newly cut. His face has stubble growing along his jawline. His eyes, dark and haunted… not like what I’d expected from his amber gaze. He’d always been carefree. He’d never had a worry in the world.
This Brody did.
He was scanning the place as he came down the escalator, and finally, his eyes rested on me. The intensity of his recognition weighted me down to the floor, freezing me in my place as he stepped off the escalator. My heart pounded, so hard I thought it might break out of my chest.
Before now, I’d toyed with the idea that the whole thing was a joke, that it wasn’t real. Brody wasn’t really coming
home. It was a hoax. But then I’d spoken to him on the phone. Then I got here, and he was alive and in the flesh in front of me.
He stopped, only a few inches away. My breathing was shallow and loud. The noise from the airport vanished, and for the next few moments, there was only the two of us. I studied him, memorizing every nook and cranny on his face, from his dark, sun-burned eyes to his angular jaw covered in day old stubble.
“Devyn…”
I didn’t have time to overthink anything. His lips came down on mine, his arms around me so tightly I should have been afraid of him snapping my spine. My hands crushed against his chest, my breasts pillowing against him. He felt amazing, firm and hot, and all consuming.
A moment later, he pulled back, and I dragged in a much needed breath. My face burned both with arousal and embarrassment. My first kiss in two years, and he’d already blown my mind.
“I missed you,” he whispered, intertwining his hand with mine. “You look beautiful.”
I didn’t have any words for him. He’d kissed them all away. He smiled, and he led me toward the baggage claim. I couldn’t stop staring at him. He was both at once familiar and strange. I knew him, yet I didn’t. But the one thing I did know? My husband. My lover. My best friend. He was home.
Devyn
Sitting in the driver’s seat and on the highway, I finally got my brain working. I’d never expected to be rendered speechless when I saw Brody again. Cry? Sure. Laugh uncontrollably? Possibly. Cling to him like a sticker? Yes. But stunned into silence? Not at all.
Brody’s hand snaked into mine as I rested it on the center console. I glanced down at it, amazed at the size of his hand. Was it always that big? My hand looked like a child’s inside his.
“This feels awesome.” Brody’s voice was low, but strong.
“Holding my hand?” I asked, knowing my voice had to be shaking. He didn’t seem to notice though.
“It’s the first time in two years I get to hold your hand. It’s the first time I get to touch you, feel the warmth from you.” He needed to stop talking. Not because I didn’t want to hear it, but because if he kept going, I was going to melt into the floorboard, and then we’d wreck and never make it home.