His gaze moved to her feet in the hope that she might be wearing designer shoes because at least that would help to solve the puzzle. But her feet were bare, the pale skin so translucent that he could see her veins showing through it.
His heart gave the oddest little lurch before he made himself remember that he was supposed to be finding some clue as to what she had done with the money, not letting himself get sidetracked by the sight of her small feet. He deliberately let his eyes track back up her body, but not even a second, more thorough viewing solved the problem.
Her skin was bare of make-up so he could rule out costly cosmetics, and her blonde hair was too natural-looking to be the product of frequent visits to an expensive salon. Even her jewellery was nothing more than a schoolgirlish wristwatch with a worn leather strap. Everything about her appearance hinted at someone who was frugal with money, and it didn’t make sense.
If Rebecca hadn’t spent Antonio’s money on the baby or herself, what had she spent it on?
‘Want me to take him? He just needs his bottle then I can put him down for the night…’
Becky trailed off as she became aware of the silence. She felt a shiver work its way down her spine when she saw the way Felipe was staring at her. She wet her lips but it was an effort to ask the question when she knew in her heart that she wasn’t going to like the answer.
‘Is something wrong?’
‘You tell me.’ He gave her a slow smile, a world removed from the one he’d given her when he had related that story about the doll.
Becky felt her heart shrivel as though he had just stamped on it, but she tried not to let him see how much it had hurt that he could treat her this way again. Maybe it was foolish, but she’d hoped that they might have got past the point where they each needed to keep scoring points off each other.
‘It’s a little difficult when I don’t know what’s going on,’ she said stiffly.
‘Then maybe it would help if I explained the problem I am having understanding this situation.’ He looked pointedly around the bathroom. ‘Antonio left you a lot of money—’
‘Not that again! For heaven’s sake, how many more times do I need to tell you that I never asked him to leave it to me?’
She cuddled Josh to her when she felt him stiffen. He’d sensed she was angry and she didn’t want to upset him. However, it was hard not to react when Felipe had seen fit to raise the subject of the money again.
‘It was Antonio’s decision,’ she said more quietly. ‘It had nothing whatsoever to do with me.’
‘I am not disputing that,’ he said calmly, matching his tone to hers. ‘My problem is understanding what you spent it on. You mentioned expenses when I asked you the last time, so I can only assume you meant things like clothes and equipment for the baby, maybe some things for yourself, sí?’
‘Um…yes, that’s right.’
She edged towards the door, suddenly uneasy about the direction in which the conversation was heading. She needed some time to work out what she should say, only Felipe obviously didn’t intend to wait for an answer. He stepped in front of the door, effectively barring her exit.
‘So where are all these expensive things that you bought, Rebecca? Do you have them tucked away in a cupboard somewhere? Do you just get them out on special occasions?’
He flicked a dismissive glance at the changing table with its faded mat, the pile of clean baby clothes, her own outfit, and she willed herself not to give in to the panic she could feel building inside her.
‘Nothing I can see in here looks expensive. If I’m not mistaken, most of it has been bought second-hand. So tell me what you spent all that money on, Rebecca, because I want to know.’
Becky took a deep breath but her heart was racing. How on earth could she explain without telling him the truth, that it had all gone to Tara?
Tara’s demands had started the moment she’d agreed not to have an abortion. As well as the initial payment of fifty thousand pounds and the monthly allowance she had received, there had been credit-card bills to be paid, plus payments on a flashy little sports car that Tara had bought. And, as if all that wasn’t enough, she had visited Antonio on a number of occasions and asked him for more money to buy baby clothes and equipment. Tara had claimed that even though she wasn’t going to keep the baby, she felt it was only right that she should get everything ready for its arrival.
Becky had had her suspicions that very little of it would be spent on the child, although she hadn’t said anything to Antonio. He had been far too ill to deal with Tara’s lies. It had only been after Josh’s birth that she’d discovered that Tara hadn’t spent a penny on the child. There had been no clothes, no cot, no pram—nothing. Instead, Becky had been forced to withdraw the last of her savings to buy what was needed.
By that time all that had been left in Antonio’s bank account had been Tara’s final payment, and she hadn’t dared dip into that. Antonio had given Becky power of attorney over his finances and affairs once he became too ill to manage them himself. He’d never realised how much money Tara had taken, and Becky had been careful not to tell him. It would have upset him too much to know that there would be nothing left for her and Josh when he died.
She hadn’t been able to afford to buy anything new for the baby so she’d bought everything second-hand and had spent hours washing and scrubbing to make sure it was all fit for Antonio’s precious son.
Antonio had never noticed that, but Felipe had. Now she had to think up an explanation that would satisfy him, even if it meant that his opinion of her ended up worse than before.
‘It’s very expensive, living in London,’ she said, deliberately blanking out that last thought because it was the one that hurt most of all. ‘Rent is extortionate even in an area like this. Don’t forget there were many months when I couldn’t work.’
‘So Antonio supported you? Fine, but I still cannot understand how in the months since Josh was born you managed to spend so much money and yet have so little to show for it.’
‘There were other bills to be paid as well as rent,’ she protested. ‘Gas, electric, food…’
‘Claro que sí! Of course! But you must have been living a very lavish lifestyle if you spent all those thousands of pounds on food and heating.’
Becky bit her lip. It was obvious that he didn’t believe her and who could blame him? The figures simply didn’t add up. But the thought of him digging deeper and uncovering the truth was more than she could bear. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that Felipe would find some way to dispense with her if he discovered that she wasn’t Josh’s real mother.
‘I…I had debts,’ she whispered, hating the fact that she was going to have to lie to him. How ironic it was that not only had she taken over Tara’s role as Josh’s mother but she would have to assume the other woman’s lifestyle as well.
‘Debts?’ He frowned, his black brows drawing together as he stared at her. ‘Do you mean that you had bought things that you could not pay for?’
‘Yes. It’s not easy to manage on a nurse’s salary and things…well, things got out of hand. There were credit-card bills to pay and loan payments on a car…All sorts of things.’
She swallowed the knot in her throat, wondering if he would believe her. Surely he must realise that she wasn’t the kind of person who bought herself luxuries that she couldn’t afford?
‘I see. That explains it, then,’ he said flatly, and she felt her heart ache when she heard the disdain in his voice. He had believed her and even though she knew that she should feel relieved, it hurt to know what kind of an opinion he had of her.
Felipe stepped aside without another word and Becky hurried to the kitchen. She took a bottle of baby milk from the fridge and quickly warmed it. Josh was starting to grizzle because he was tired, but he soon settled down when she took him into the bedroom and sat on the low nursing chair to feed him.
She watched his eyelids droop as he greedily drank the milk, one small hand rhythmically pat
ting the bottle. He was content and happy, secure in his little world with people who loved him.
She would do everything it took to keep him safe, but she wished with all her heart that she could have done things differently. If she’d had a choice she wouldn’t have lied to Felipe and be sitting here now, feeling so wretched. Instead, she would have told him the truth about Tara and Josh, and Antonio and the money.
She knew what she would have liked to have done, but it was too risky. Felipe might not understand that she had only ever wanted to help.
Felipe could feel his head starting to ache as he waited for Rebecca to come back. He massaged his temples, praying that he wasn’t about to have one of his infrequent migraine attacks. The past two days had been a strain and his body was reacting to the pressure he had been under. However, the flashpoint had been Rebecca’s confession and how it had made him feel.
He didn’t believe her. It was as simple as that. Rebecca had claimed that she’d spent the money Antonio had left her, paying off her debts, but she’d lied. Why had she chosen to make herself look even worse in his eyes rather than tell him the truth? Was it because the truth would be even more unacceptable?
He swore softly, giving vent to his frustration in a rare outburst which would have shocked his colleagues had they witnessed it. He knew that the people he worked with considered him to be a very cold fish and that his reputation was well deserved. Nevertheless, it was hard to keep his emotions in check right then.
His opinion of Rebecca had improved dramatically after the compassionate way she’d spoken to him earlier, but now he didn’t know what to think. Why had she lied to him? What dreadful secret was she keeping? Why did it scare him to death to realise that it had to be something really bad?
An aura of colour suddenly started to shimmer at the outer edges of his vision and he groaned when he realised that it was a migraine attack starting. It had been years since he’d had the last one and he couldn’t believe his bad luck that it should happen now. He glanced round as Rebecca came back into the room, but it was difficult to focus on her.
‘Josh is asleep,’ she said quietly, coming into the room and switching on the lamps. She shot him an uncertain look when he put his hand over his eyes to protect them from the light. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Fine,’ he snapped, hating to show any sign of weakness in front of her when he already felt so vulnerable.
His feelings towards Rebecca had shifted and he was no longer sure that he could be totally dispassionate about this situation. He knew that he should focus solely on doing what was right for Josh, but he couldn’t ignore Rebecca’s feelings. It mattered to him if she was hurt or scared and afraid. If only she would tell him the truth, maybe there was something he could do to help her…
‘You don’t look it,’ she said bluntly, bending to turn off the lamp nearest to him.
‘Do not concern yourself about me, Rebecca,’ he said brusquely, struggling to deal with that idea. Why did he want to help her when he should be trying to make her tell him the truth?
It was almost a relief when whirling circles of colour started spinning before his eyes and drove the question from his head. The migraine attack was rapidly getting worse and he groaned when he felt his stomach churn in an all-too-familiar prelude to the next stage. He rose awkwardly to his feet, deeply embarrassed about what was happening, although there was nothing he could do. The attack had to run its course before he would feel any better.
‘Here. Let me help you.’ She put her arm around his waist and helped him to the bathroom, lifting the lid on the lavatory once she’d propped him against the wall.
‘Give me a shout if you need me. I’ll just be outside,’ she said, briskly making her exit and sparing him the indignity of having her watch him throwing up.
Felipe sluiced his face afterwards, feeling a little better despite his embarrassment. He had been fortunate in the past and had always had a few minutes’ warning before an attack had struck, but this one had come out of the blue. It didn’t make him feel good to know that Rebecca had witnessed it, but there was nothing more than kindly concern on her face when he finally left the bathroom.
‘How do you feel now? A bit better, I hope?’
She slid her arm around his waist again, ignoring his murmured protest that he could manage. Felipe held himself rigid as she helped him back to the living-room. She was so petite that he was afraid of hurting her if he leant too heavily on her, yet when he tried to set some distance between them she tightened her hold on him.
A shiver ran through him when he felt her fingers gripping his waist. He hadn’t put his jacket back on after bathing Josh and he could feel the warmth of her hand through the thinness of his shirt. Her hand was so small, yet her fingers were surprisingly strong as they held onto him, strong and determined, too. He had the strangest feeling that, no matter what happened, Rebecca would do everything she could to help him, that nothing and nobody would get in her way once she had made up her mind.
Was that how she’d felt about Antonio? he wondered. Had she been determined to do all she could for his brother and had that determination stretched as far as having his child?
He’d believed her when she’d told him that having Josh had given Antonio the will to keep fighting his illness. Somehow, it just seemed to fit. Maybe Rebecca hadn’t had the baby for monetary gain after all, but to help his brother. The thought made his head spin all over again.
Rebecca helped him to the sofa and got him settled. Drawing over a footstool, she lifted his feet onto it then quickly turned off the lamps so that the room was in darkness.
‘Just rest there for a few minutes. I’ll make you a cup of herb tea. It’s feverfew. I don’t know if you’ve tried it, but it’s marvellous for headaches and migraine attacks.’
‘Thank you.’ Felipe closed his eyes as she hurried away, wondering if he was behaving like a fool. There was no proof that Rebecca had had the baby for Antonio’s sake. Everything he’d learned so far was against it, in fact. Even the concern she’d shown him that night might have been nothing more than a means to improve his opinion of her. Yet no matter how he tried to rationalise it, the feeling that he might have misjudged her wouldn’t go away.
She came back a few minutes later with a steaming cup of liquid which she placed on the table next to him. ‘It’s too hot to drink at the moment so let it cool down.’
Felipe didn’t open his eyes because it was easier to keep them shut. The darkness always helped when he had a migraine attack and he really didn’t want her seeing how confused he felt…
He jumped when he felt something cool touch his forehead. His eyes flew open and a ripple ran through him when he found her bending over him. ‘What are you doing?’ he demanded, putting up a restraining hand.
She gently moved his hand out of the way. ‘I’m going to massage your head. It’s a technique we use with the children sometimes. Most headaches, even some migraines, are triggered by tension and it helps the muscles to relax.’
‘There is no need,’ he said shortly, wondering why the thought of her touching him had caused such a violent reaction. His heart was hammering far too fast and his veins felt as though they might burst as the blood pounded through them.
‘I know there isn’t. But why suffer if there’s a chance that I can help you?’
Her voice was so quiet, so uncontentious that he found it difficult to argue. He closed his eyes again, feeling every nerve in his body tense when he felt her hands moving over his forehead. His nose wrinkled when an unfamiliar scent assailed his nostrils.
‘What are you using?’
‘A few drops of lavender oil, mixed with some almond oil to act as a carrier for it,’ she replied softly, gently stroking his temples.
‘And do you believe these oils help?’ he asked, although it was difficult to keep his mind on the conversation when her hands were having such a marvellous effect. He was already starting to feel a lot more relaxed and his head wasn’t hu
rting nearly as much as it had been doing.
‘Oh, yes. Aromotherapy has been proved to help in many cases. There have been studies done which prove how much benefit people can derive from the use of essential oils.’
Felipe frowned because he couldn’t help feeling sceptical about that claim. ‘In what way can they help?’
‘Well, take my own department—Intensive Care—for instance. There was a French study carried out a few years ago which proved that tea tree oil can have beneficial effects in treating MRSA. Highly resistant bacterial infections like that are a nightmare in any IC unit. They inhabit the artificial ventilators and cause real problems for post-operative patients. Most essential oils are antiseptic, as you probably know, and we use tea tree oil quite a lot at St Leonard’s. We’ve found that it makes a big difference.’
‘Really?’ Despite himself, Felipe was intrigued.
‘Yes, really. You just have to put aside all your preconceived ideas about it being a lot of mumbo-jumbo. People have used the oils from plants for thousands of years to help cure them, so why should modern-day patients be any different?’
‘It sounds as though you have studied this,’ he said softly, sighing when he felt her fingers gently massaging his skull. The effect was so wonderfully soothing that he almost groaned out loud, but he managed to stop himself at the very last moment.
‘I did a course after I left my previous post. I’d been working in an IC unit but it was closed down as part of a cost-cutting exercise. I’d always been interested in the use of oils and herbal medicines so I decided to get a grounding in the basics.’
She moved her fingers across his scalp in a gentle, circular motion. ‘I was working for an agency at the time. It was mainly night work so I was able to study during the day.’
Felipe frowned. He couldn’t help thinking that it had needed a great deal of dedication to study whilst holding down a job. It jarred to think of Rebecca doing that. It didn’t fit in with the image of a woman who’d claimed to have squandered a fortune on luxuries. Suddenly he was more convinced than ever that she’d lied to him about the money, but how could he make her tell him the truth?
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