“By stuff, do you mean Laney?”
I glare at Sam. “I mean my clothes and shit.”
“Um-hmm,” he reverberates. “You two back together?”
I don’t take my hard look off Sam. “Yes. You have a problem with that?”
“Nope. I didn’t then, and I don’t now. Laney is good people. I just don’t want you distracted, that’s all. And females can be one hell of a distraction, especially when they look like that.”
I glance back at Laney—she’s sexy as hell without even trying. Even Sam sees it. “I’ll be right back.”
Laney disappears into the house as I walk up the front porch and through the door.
“Everything worked out?” she asks, wringing her hands together.
“Surprisingly, yes.” I smile as I approach her. “All the charges have been dropped, and my name is clear.”
“Good. I’m glad.” She sighs weakly.
“Me too.” When I try to touch her, she backs away. So not good. “Laney, what’s wrong? Is Sam being here making you uncomfortable? I know you don’t like him . . .”
“I like Sam just fine,” she interrupts me, returning to stir the pancake batter.
“Sure you do, about as much as you like sweet tea.” Her lips curve up faintly. “We have to get back. Sam’s set up a press conference. I have to make a statement and . . .”
“Go then,” she interjects, clearly upset. I’m upset too; I wasn’t ready to leave so abruptly. But reality calls, and I have to be there.
“I want you to come with me.” I pull the bowl out of her hands and entwine her fingers with mine, imploring her to look at me.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“You know why, Kam.” Her grip tightens as she looks directly at me.
“I honestly don’t.” I search her face. What the hell is she talking about?
“Nothing has changed.”
“What do you mean nothing’s changed?” I drop her hands. “Everything’s changed.”
“No, it hasn’t. You still have your life, and I still have mine.”
“What the hell does that mean?” It feels like rocks are being piled in the pit of my stomach. “The last three days didn’t mean anything?”
“Of course they did—”
“Or did you just want one last fuck with Alabama’s most eligible bachelor?” I snap. “Is that it?”
“Of course not!” She takes a step toward me.
My chest feels like it’s caving in. “I can’t believe you are pulling this shit again, Laney.”
“Kam.” Her voices wavers.
“Don’t.” I fight not to flip out. “I trusted you.”
“Kam . . .” she pleads, but I am so over this bullshit.
“Forget it.” I brush past her. Sam was right—women are nothing but a distraction. I walk out on her, leaving all my stuff behind.
I haul ass to Sam’s massive black pickup, climb in, and try to ignore the gaping hole in my heart Laney just ripped open.
“Where’s your girl? We waiting for her?” Sam asks.
“She’s not my girl,” I spit. “Just drive.”
Sam pauses, staring at me for a beat, before he throws the car into D and speeds away.
I watch the house get smaller and smaller in the side view mirror along with the happiness I allowed myself to have for thirty-six short hours.
I permit the tears to fall only after the truck disappears.
When it’s safe. When I know Kam will never see them. I clean up the kitchen, pack our stuff, and lock up the house. I’m completely numb. I will never forget the distraught look on Kam’s face before he stormed out. I trusted you. Those words are like a butcher knife hacking me apart. I never meant to hurt him. I never meant for him to feel like he couldn’t trust me. But what I said was true. He has his life and I have mine. He’s slated to go to Seattle, and I’m moving to New York. How would we ever make that work?
I knew the inevitable would happen; I just didn’t think it would be so soon.
Without even thinking, I drive to the one place I know I’ll find solace.
“Sugar pie.” My father beams when he sees me walk through the front door of his diner. “What are you doing here?” He put his arms around me, and I surrender in his embrace, fighting back tears.
“I was with Kam . . . at the cabin.”
“Oh?” His face perks up.
“With the allegations and media hounding him, he needed to get away. So we went to his father’s cabin. To hide out.”
“I see.” My father eyes me speculatively. “I didn’t realize you and Kam were socializing again.”
I turn red. What can I say? Don’t worry; nothing happened? We’d both know that’d be a lie.
“We were reconnecting.” I clear my throat.
“It doesn’t look like it went so well.”
“It was going fine until Sam the Magic Man showed up,” I say spitefully. “And reality came crashing down on us.”
“Yeah. It does have a habit of doing that.” His Southern twang surfaces with a vengeance. “Where is Kam now?”
“At a press conference. Sam set it up at the high school.”
“Why didn’t you go?” He walks me over to the counter and urges me to sit down on one of the stools.
“I figured he’d be surrounded by enough people. His adoring fans, the press, Sam.”
“Ah Sam, your favorite person in the whole world.”
“Most favorite,” I respond sarcastically. Kam was right—I do like Sam as much as I like sweet tea.
“Well, what are you gonna do?”
“About what?”
“About Kam.”
“What’s there to do? You don’t give up everything you worked toward for some guy. All your hopes, all your dreams.”
“You’re right. Some guy? No. Kam, maybe.”
“Dad.” My jaw drops. Is he being serious? He knows what I had to go through to get that internship. How unbelievably hard I had to work. Architecture is a highly competitive business. If you don’t get in with the right firm, you might as well give up before you even start if you want any kind of a halfway decent career.
“Laney, look.” He puts his hands up in surrender. “I’m not trying to tell you not to go after your dreams, or give up who you are. I’m the last person who would ever suggest that. But in hindsight, I realize your mother and I made a lot of bad decisions. We worked against each other instead of with each other. Maybe you and Kam just need to find a happy medium.”
“I don’t think that exists unless I go where he goes.”
“Would that be such a bad thing?”
“Possibly.” I chew my lip. “I don’t want to lose myself because of his career. I don’t want to feel like I’m always second.”
“I understand, sugar. Living a public life is trying, but if I know one thing, Kam would never put you second. Yes, he has obligations and responsibilities, but the love is there. That’s what’s important. And trust me, he needs you.”
“For what?” I scoff. “He has the world at his feet. He practically walks on water.”
My father smiles knowingly. “Kam may be surrounded by adoring fans and hounding media, but believe me, he really is alone.”
“Are you speaking from experience, Daddy?”
“Possibly.” He smirks. “You were always my rock, maybe it’s time to be Kam’s.”
I gaze into my father’s kind eyes. I honestly never thought of it like that. Kam walks around with an air of authority that feels untouchable. Sometimes you almost forget that he’s human.
Was I wrong to leave him the first time? My heart says yes, but my head says no. Now that I look back, maybe I was just a confused eighteen-year-old girl trying to adjust to college and jealous she had to share her boyfriend with the whole damn world.
“Looks like you’ve got some thinking to do.” My father smiles sympathetically.
“I sure do,” I pout.
I’m sitting
in the middle of Radio City Music Hall surrounded by my peers. As I look around, the excitement and stress is almost palpable. This is the biggest day of my life. My dream come true. Draft day.
There’s a rumble of voices as the crowd anxiously awaits the picks to begin. We’ve only been sitting a short while, but it feels like days have passed. This moment will define the rest of my life; it will shape my career and my future. I’ve never felt so nervous; my stomach is actually flip-flopping, my palms are sweaty, and I’m a little lightheaded. I was calmer during the Sugar Bowl when we were down by six and the entire game was riding on me. I catch sight of the commissioner walking purposefully across the stage plastered with the NFL logo and insignia. As he takes his place behind the podium, cameras flash and a wave of quiet blankets the room.
My whole body starts to prickle as he leans forward and speaks into the microphone. The moment leading up to the first round pick announcement is electrifying. It feels as if I am balancing on a razor sharp tip three hundred and fifty feet in the air.
“With the first pick in the two thousand fifteen NFL draft . . .” The commissioner pauses for effect and the room seems to tilt, or maybe that’s just me, “Seattle selects . . . Kamdyn Ellis, Quarterback, Alabama.”
The crowd erupts into a deafening roar as time stands still. Congratulations pour over me. My mom is crying, my dad is beaming, and Sam’s eyes are sparkling like chocolate diamonds. Everyone I love is here, except one very important person.
I walk onto the stage a split man. It is the happiest day of my life and the most disappointing. Every time I pictured this moment, Laney was always a part of it. Even when we were weren’t together she was still somehow here. I have regretted walking out on her every second. Regretted not fighting harder to keep her. Just like before. History has a way of repeating itself.
Looking back on it now, I should have just flung her over my shoulder when she started with that crap and not given her a choice in the matter. She should be here, with me, right now. She should be sharing the spotlight because she is the other half of my happiness. That’s my life—one part football and one part Laney. I have always known that, and I’m not going to stop until I put the two broken pieces back together again.
I smile as I pose for pictures holding up the green jersey. It doesn’t feel real, at least not yet. It has to sink in that I am now a professional football player.
My dream come true.
I meet Sam backstage as the commissioner continues to announce names.
“My man! My man!” Sam clasps both of my shoulders and squeezes hard. “I knew it! I knew you were gold the moment I laid eyes on you. That’s how you succeed—hard work, dedication, and me.” He smiles obnoxiously.
“Modest as always,” I jibe.
“Only one person gonna toot your own horn in this world, and that person is yourself.”
“You’ve done just fine tooting my horn for me,” I point out.
“That’s just because I know this business and how to make it to the top. That’s why they call me Sam the Magic Man. I make things happen.”
“You can do anything that needs to be done.” I repeat the mantra I’ve heard a thousand times.
“Smart and pretty.” He smacks my face playfully.
I smile connivingly. “I need some magic, Sam.”
“What kind of magic?” He creases his eyebrows.
“I need a Sam special. I need something to get done . . .”
Several weeks later . . .
I crack my knuckles nervously as I stand in front of the door. Just knock already.
I inhale a deep breath and rap firmly on the wood. I wait a few impatient seconds then knock again.
“Hang on!” Someone yells before the door swings open. Standing on the other side is a guy who doesn’t look much older than me, wearing a bathrobe over his clothes and a five o’clock shadow. I eye him up and down. Who the hell is this clown?
“Yeah? Can I help you with something?” His eyes are glassy and his speech is slow.
“I’m looking for Laney Summers.”
“Who?”
“Laney Summers,” I repeat. “She supposedly lives here.” Her father gave me this address.
The guy pouts his lip and shakes his head. “Never heard of her. No one but me and Jarvis live here. Just moved in.”
I peer into the apartment and see a bunch of boxes on the floor, a couch you couldn’t pay me to sit on, and a fat orange cat.
“Sorry,” I tell him confused and disappointed. “I didn’t mean to bother you. I have the wrong address, apparently.”
“No problem, man.” He takes a good hard look at me. “Do you I know you from somewhere?”
“Doubt it.” I start to step away.
“Yeah, I do.” He snaps his fingers as his bloodshot eyes light up. “You’re . . . You’re Kamdyn Ellis. Quarterback for Alabama and first round draft pick!”
Shit.
I rub the back of my neck. “Yup, that would be me,” I admit reluctantly.
“Holy shit!” The guy nearly back flips out of his bathrobe. He’s awake now. “Hold on! Hold on!” He trips over his own feet as he runs back into his apartment. “Please, man, would you sign this?” He holds out a black Sharpie and a football.
“Sure.” I take the items and sign away. “What’s your name?”
“Nick.” He pipes up with a dopey smile. His expression makes me smile.
To Nick, nice bathrobe. Kamdyn Ellis
I hand him back the football, and he reads my note. He beams. “It’s my favorite. I’ve watched every single one of your games in it. Brings luck.”
“Good to know.” I laugh. “Huge fan of plaid.” Not really.
“Sorry I can’t help you find who you are looking for. Might want to ask the landlord to see if she left a forwarding address.”
“I’ll do that.” I nod. “Nice to meet you, Nick.”
“Awesome to meet you,” he replies like a kid in a candy store.
I turn to leave as he shuts the door. Before I try the landlord, I pull my phone out on the way to the elevator, search my contacts and find the one number I haven’t dared to dial in weeks. I press send and hold my breath. Someone answers after a few rings.
“Hello?”
“Lemon . . . ?”
“Kam?”
“Where are you?” he asks immediately.
I look around the airport and pause. Does he know I’m here? “I’m . . . in Seattle.”
“You’re where?” He sounds flabbergasted. Maybe he doesn’t know I’m here.
“Seattle,” I say again. “I was going to surprise you. I gave up the internship. I want to try, Kam,” I divulge nervously. I had planned to do this in person, but since he has me on the phone, I might as well spill all my secrets while I have the nerve. “I’m sorry. For everything.”
“Laney.” He breathes, and it sounds pained. I instantly regret every decision I’ve made over the last few weeks. I walk over to the nearest restaurant to get out of the way of the bustling travelers. When I look up at the television, I see Kam’s name flash across the screen.
In an unforeseen turn of events, Kamdyen Ellis, Alabama all-star and first-round draft pick has been traded to New York. In a statement released earlier today by the team, the organization could not be happier to have picked up Ellis and are ecstatic to start the phenom in the upcoming season.
If someone brushed by me at this very moment, I would surely fall over.
“Kam?” My voice is shaky. “Where are you?” I am ninety-nine percent sure of the answer, but I just have to hear him say it.
“New York.”
I almost sob.
“I wasn’t letting you go again, Laney. Not without a fight this time.”
“Oh, my god.” I turn straight around and head back to the gate I just deplaned from. “I’m coming back.” I push against the crowd moving in the opposite direction as me. It feels like I’m wading through the ocean, but I don’t care.
; “I’ll be at the airport waiting for you.”
I wipe away the tears and giggle. “You better.”
I hang up once I reach the ticket counter. “I need to go back to New York. Right now. The next flight,” I tell the attendant behind the counter. Her eyes widen.
“Is everything all right, ma’am?”
“Yes,” I answer excitedly. “I just need to get home, right away.”
“I wasn’t letting you go again, Laney. Not without a fight this time.”
She types some info into the computer. “Looks like the next flight with open seats leaves for JFK in an hour.”
“I’ll take it.”
“Do you want to know the price of the ticket?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I whip out my credit card. “Book it, please.”
Within a few minutes, I am booked on the flight and hurrying to the gate that is on the other side of the terminal. I make it just in time.
I buckle my seat belt between a very large black man with a fedora and an overweight Hispanic woman munching on french fries. If I was in any other state of mind, this flight would suck, but nothing could ruin my amazing mood. It feels like a boulder has lifted off my chest. I have ached for Kam every second we have been apart. Watching him walk away affected me in ways I couldn’t explain or even comprehend. I just knew I needed to try to make things work. I needed to know if we could really have it all. So, I gave up my apartment in New York, resigned from my internship at the architecture firm, packed my bags, and headed for Seattle not knowing what the future would hold. I was hoping Kam would at least talk to me, see that I made the big gesture, and forgive me for being such an idiot. Forgive me for not trusting in us, or in him, enough to take a leap of faith. I have always been levelheaded. It’s my curse. Sometimes it costs me things, like missed opportunities or the courage to take chances; it almost cost me the man I love.
But not this time. This time we are going to do things right. Kam has a bright future and major responsibilities ahead of him, and my father was right, it’s time that I’m his rock.
I already know he’s mine.
I am nearly jumping out of my seat by the time the plane taxis and pulls up to the gate. I am squished all the way in the back between two people triple my size, but it doesn’t stop me. As soon as we are given the green light to deplane, I jump up and start to push past the other passengers pulling down their luggage from the overhead. Some none too happy with me, but shit that’s life. Welcome to New York. The five and a half hour flight was torture. It felt twice as long since all I could think about was Kam.
One Northern Morning (A Novella) (Southern Nights Novella Series #2) Page 5