by Eden Summers
“She doesn’t know the half of it.” The graveled murmur from the bed stops my heart.
I keep staring at the nurse, as those words repeat in my ears. I don’t drag my attention from her until she glances at the bed, her smile widening.
“I think your man is awake.” She grins at me then turns her attention to Luca. “I’m going to quickly page the doctor. You’ve got two minutes of privacy before I come back to check your vitals.”
I nod, my vision blurring.
I’m not going to cry.
I am not going to cry.
The nurse walks away, leaving me to rein in the rampant beat of my heart and the building shake in my fingers.
“You’re not talking to me anymore, shorty?” he whispers.
That voice. Oh, God, that voice.
I drag my gaze from the door and meet the gorgeous eyes of the man laid out before me. With one glance he warms me. Makes me whole.
But he’s still pale. Entirely fragile beneath the muscle-man persona.
“They didn’t know when you’d wake up…” I grab his hand. “I wasn’t sure if you would.”
“Pessimism?” He grins. “From you? No way.”
I squeeze his fingers, both loving and hating his sarcasm. “It wasn’t pessimism. It was fear. I could barely breathe through the thought of losing you.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
My heart pounds. Squeezes. Wrenches so tight. “Do you promise?”
“You know I’m a sucker for giving you anything you want.”
Yes, I know.
But his face sobers and for a moment there’s only silence and contemplation before he says, “I can’t remember everything. You need to bring me up to speed. What happened? What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.” My lips lift in an apologetic smile. “I wish I had answers, but I haven’t heard from anyone. When you collapsed, Sebastian wouldn’t let me call an ambulance. Instead, we dragged you into his truck and drove you here. I haven’t seen or heard from anyone since. Not my brother. Or Cole. There’s been no police to question what happened either.”
He sits, wincing as he repositions himself against the pillows. “What did you tell hospital staff?”
“Not much.” I reach for my chair, dragging it closer to the bed, not once releasing his hand. “I told them we had a car accident.”
“Good.” He nods. Cringes. Groans. “My head is fucking killing me.”
“You’ve got a bleed on the brain. They think you’ve had it since Greece.”
He raises a brow. “That would explain the headaches.”
“It could explain a lot of things.”
“Meaning?” He frowns. “What’s wrong? You look upset.”
I am upset. So damn upset at the thought of our future uncertainty. “The doctor asked if you’ve been acting differently because it’s common an injury like yours could cause a change in behavior.”
“And?” His brows pull tighter. “You’re going to have to dumb it down. I’m still not catching on to what’s worrying you.”
“We barely spoke before you hit your head in Greece. Now we’re…” I wave a lazy hand between us. “I don’t know. I just thought maybe this thing with us is the change in behavior they were referring to.”
He grins, the curve of lips announcing a complete lack of seriousness. “You think the way I feel about you is due to brain damage?”
“Please don’t joke. It’s not unlikely—”
“Pen, if being with you is a side effect, then I give you permission to give me a love tap to the head every once in a while to keep the momentum going. I’ll even buy you your own bat.” He drags my fingers to his lips for a quick kiss. “I’ll take an ass whoopin’ every week if that’s what it takes.”
“That’s not funny, Luca. I’m seriously scared.”
He breathes out a chuckle. “You should be more scared about being stuck with me. ’Cause I ain’t letting you go.”
My chest burns under the weight of his promise, the heat increasing when his expression turns serious.
“You’re everything, Pen. You always have been. What I feel for you isn’t fake.”
“I’m not saying it’s fake…”
He squeezes my hand. “I know what you’re saying, and it’s not true. I fell hard for you the first moment we met. I was done for before I even hit my head.”
I smile. Nod. It’s all I can do against the build of hope. “I’m glad you feel that way.”
“What else is bothering you?” His fingers retreat from my grip to delicately sweep over mine. Back and forth. Over and under. Gently coaxing. “Is there something I don’t know?”
“Not really. I’m just unsure of what’s happening with everyone else. Sebastian was shot. Sarah was hurt, too. And I keep expecting the police to walk in here and demand answers.” I lower my voice. “I killed a man, Luca. I watched him bleed out.”
“Don’t think about it. The cops aren’t coming. Your brother didn’t call an ambulance because he planned to go back to the house and clean up. We’ll hear from someone once all the loose ends are tied.”
“But it’s been hours. And he was—”
“I’m sure he’s fine. And tidying loose ends takes time. All hands would be on deck to sweep that shit under the rug.”
I’m not convinced, but I try to believe him. I need to stop listening to the fear that shackled me for so long and learn to trust in him wholeheartedly.
Robert is dead.
Luca is alive.
My family is safe.
It’s time to be free.
Except… “What about your brother?” I hold his gaze, hating the cringe he gives me. “He was working with Robert.”
“Torian will deal with Benji.”
“What does that mean?”
He shrugs. “I honestly don’t know. But no matter what happens, I’ll make sure you’re safe.”
“We’re safe,” I correct. “There’s no me without you.”
He huffs out a half-hearted chuckle. “And vice versa, shorty. I don’t want to be here without you.”
I bow my head into our hands, shielding my face due to the building tears. His fingers find my hair, his touch drifting through the strands.
“I love you, Pen,” he whispers. “When I found out Robert had you, I…”
“He’s gone.” I add strength to my voice as I return my gaze to his. “You saved me again.”
“Like hell I did. I don’t remember much, but I can still see you running for him. Don’t ever do something like that again.”
I would. I’d do it now if I had to.
This world needs Luca. The good guy disguised as a villain.
“Your face is bruised.” His fingers stop their delicate caress, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Did he hurt you? Before I got to you, did he—”
“No. I’m good. Robert rammed his truck into Sarah’s car. The worst of my injuries are from the deployed airbag.”
I don’t want to concern him with the intricate details of my battle scars. None of that matters now.
He sinks farther into the pillows, his shoulders losing their tension. “Then tell me what I need to do to make you happy. I want to see that gorgeous smile.”
My stomach does a swooping roll, tumbling and turning. This man is everything. All my hope. All my security.
He’s my way home. I have to finally let go and allow him to guide me there.
“I am happy.” I smile from deep in my heart, with all of the optimism I can muster. “You make me unbelievably happy.”
He doesn’t respond. Not in words. Just with the lazy grin that fills me with unending warmth.
“Sorry to interrupt.” The nurse walks into the room, skirting the bed to stop before the heart monitors on the other side. “It’s time to check the patient. And you—” She gives me a one-second glance. “—have a visitor.”
“Me?”
She nods and turns her attention to the door.
I do t
he same, finding my brother standing there, face solemn, legs stiff.
“Oh, God, Sebastian.” I shove from my chair and rush to him, gently engulfing him in a hug.
He tenses, taking two seconds to relax into the embrace before returning the gesture. “Hey, Pen. I’m glad to see you, too.”
“Are you okay?” I inch away to look at him. “Have you seen Sarah?”
He eyes the nurse with suspicion. “She’s recovering. It takes a lot to knock the wind out of her sails.”
I step back, understanding his hint for subtlety.
“How’s he doing?” He jerks his chin toward the bed. “Did they give him the lobotomy I hoped for?”
“Very funny,” Luca growls.
The nurse chuckles. Sebastian gives a faint smirk. But something’s not right. I see more than weary exhaustion in his features.
“How’s your leg?”
“Flesh wound. It’ll heal.”
“Then there’s something else. What’s wrong?”
He shrugs. “Nothin’. I just, ahh…” He rubs the back of his neck. “I thought with your enforcer laid flat you might want some additional support.”
I nod. “Thank you. I’m glad you’re here.”
He cringes, meeting my gaze. “Pen, I wasn’t talking about me.”
“Then what do you mean?” I lower my voice. “What’s going on?”
He pauses, the silence growing tense. My heart beats double time, drawing out the quiet. It isn’t until his nose crinkles in apology that I understand. Without words or action, I know exactly what he’s done before he says, “Mom and Dad are waiting at the entrance to the ward.”
I hold my breath against the arrhythmia.
“Jesus Christ, Decker,” Luca snarls. “Are you a fucking idiot? You can’t dump this on—”
“It’s all right.” I shoot him a forced smile. “I’m okay.”
I am.
Really.
I can handle this. I can face my parents.
I’ll walk right up to them and say hello. We’ll hug… and cry… and…
Oh, God. I can’t do this. I can’t see them without losing myself. Without releasing my thin grip on stability.
“Sir, you need to rest,” the nurse demands. “Sir, please.”
I blink out of my panic to see Luca flinging back the covers in an attempt to climb from the bed.
“Stop,” I beg. “Please. I can do this.”
It’s a lie.
I can’t do this. I don’t know how.
“I’m coming with you,” he growls.
“No. I should do this on my own.”
It’s another lie.
I need him. I’ll always need him.
But there’s no escaping this reunion. And I owe it to my parents to have it take place in relative privacy.
“Trust me.” I give him a genuine smile. “It’s time.”
His hand clutches tight to the bedsheet, the intensity in his features never wavering. “You sure?”
I nod.
“I love you,” he vows. “And I’m right here if you need me.”
The swooping roll of my insides returns. “I love you, too. With everything I am, I love you.”
Sebastian clears his throat, the sound awkward as he rubs my arm. “You don’t have to do this now. As far as Mom and Dad are concerned, they’re here because I needed to see someone about this pulled muscle in my thigh.” He winks. “They’re not expecting you. They still don’t know.”
The chance of escape brings relief. Temporary, misguided relief.
I can’t put this off forever.
“I’m doing this.” I nod to convince myself. “Take me to them.”
My pulse beats erratically in my throat, the rhythm and severity increasing as Sebastian leads me from the room and into the hall.
The ward is quiet, the early morning hour making my surroundings desolate.
“Do they know what happened last night?” I ask.
“No. Once I left the party, Keira took them to their hotel. They’re just as clueless as they’ve ever been. But your car accident is starting to hit the news. I caught sight of a sketchy video on the television an hour ago.”
My legs grow heavy with each step, the building throb in my veins becoming too much.
Then I see him—my dad.
He stands on the other side of the open ward doors, his attention focused on something out of view, the glow of the sunrise highlighting his face.
My feet stop of their own accord. I can’t move any farther.
“It’s okay,” Sebastian whispers. “It’s all going to be okay.”
It doesn’t feel that way. My body is in overdrive, my thoughts and fears colliding into a mass of hysteria.
I’m about to turn and hide when my dad looks our way. His face brightens at the sight of his son, then completely falls when he sees me.
He stares in horror. Wide eyes. Gaping mouth.
“What is it?” my mother asks, her arm reaching into view. “What’s wrong?”
He doesn’t answer. He’s frozen.
Sebastian continues without me, walking to our father’s side while my mother stands.
I want to run.
To them. Away from them. But I can’t move.
I blink the blur from my vision as my mom turns to face me, her hand immediately raising to cover her mouth.
All I feel is panic and pain.
All I see is heartache and loss.
“Penny?” My mother glances from me, to my father, to my brother, and back again, her confusion unwavering.
“Pen, is that you?” my dad asks.
I tremble. Arms. Legs. Heart.
The eight feet of distance between us is so close, yet unbelievably far. No matter what I do, I can’t get my feet to move, my voice to speak.
“It’s her.” Sebastian starts toward me. “It’s really her.”
My chest restricts. My heart and lungs are ripped from me.
My mother takes a step, a sob breaching her lips. “Penny…” She runs, the pace hobbled, her face stricken. “My baby girl.”
I break, my tears rushing free, the heated trails searing my cheeks as air heaves from my lungs.
I’m engulfed in restricting arms, my mother’s love circling me even tighter. I close my eyes against the emotional onslaught, sucking in breath after hiccupped breath, not wanting the love to weaken me, and not being able to deny it at the same time.
“I don’t understand.” My dad’s voice approaches. “How did this happen?”
More arms engulf me. The scent of my father’s aftershave sinks deep into my lungs.
There are sobs and laughter and sniffles.
Hugs and questions and comfort. So much soul-shaking comfort.
I let it wash over me. Consume me.
I sway with the waves of emotion, taking in all the sensations of home as I squeeze my eyes tighter in an attempt to stem the unending blubbering.
“Everything is going to be all right, baby girl,” my mother soothes. “Everything is going to be just fine.”
After years spent denying my suffering, I give in.
I succumb to the pain. I let my grief break free.
I cry until the tears clean away the heartache, all my memories purged from the deepest, darkest depths of my soul. And when my sobs finally subside, I begin to breathe again, knowing I’m finally ready to start healing.
35
Luca
I scowl as the nurse flashes a light in my eyes.
“You don’t need to look at me like that.” She lowers the mini flashlight and grabs my hand. “I get that you’re not happy being here. I’m just doing my job, and apparently, looking after you is a top priority, so grip my hand and show me how macho you are.”
I clench her fingers, my scowl remaining in place. “Who says I’m a top priority?”
“My supervisor. I was told to make sure Mr. John Doe was taken care of and that he receives everything he asks for.” She holds my gaze, rai
sing a brow.
I chuckle. “Feel free to call me John.”
“How kind of you.” She drops my hand and grabs the other. “Want to tell me what happened to your head, John?”
“I have no idea.”
She rolls her eyes and steps away, removing a blood pressure cuff from the monitoring equipment near the head of the bed.
While she’s wrenching my arm into submission, I cock my ear toward the door, trying to catch a hint of Penny’s voice.
This shit with Robert might be over, but the battles she has to face are only just beginning. And I want to be by her side for every single one of them.
“Your blood pressure is a little high.”
“No shit.” My girl is in the hall, facing one of the most monumental moments of her life, and I’m laid flat, unable to help her. “Give me some aspirin and a ticket out of here. I’ll be fine.”
“With all due respect, John, you’ve got a subdural hematoma. Which means you’re not leaving anytime soon. You need to be under observation to ensure the bleeding doesn’t increase.”
I revert back to glaring, not appreciating her calm superiority as Decker limps into the room. He moves to stand against the far wall, watching silently as the nurse takes my temperature like I’m a five-year-old with the flu.
He doesn’t talk. Doesn’t change his masked expression of exhaustion. He doesn’t give one hint as to what’s going on with Penny or why he’s left her out there on her own.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I growl.
He answers by cocking a lazy brow.
It’s the nurse who stiffens and meets my gaze. “Do you need me to leave?”
“Is that an option?”
She sighs. “Like I said, I was told to give you everything you asked for, which includes privacy if it’s requested.”
“It’s requested,” Decker murmurs.
“Definitely requested,” I grate.
She huffs out a breath and places the thermometer back into the stand near the head of the bed. “I’ll give you five minutes. Then I have to come back and finish my obs.” She makes for the door, giving a quick glance at me over her shoulder before leaving the room.
Still, Decker doesn’t speak. He remains against the wall, exhaustion heavy in his slumped shoulders, expression indecipherable.
“Where is she?” I ask. “How is she?”