True-Blue Cowboy Christmas

by Nicole Helm

  You are doing this all wrong.

  He finally met his father’s gaze. Why couldn’t he get this man to listen? Dad had his own way of doing things, and it didn’t matter how much Thack begged for cooperation. Dad still did what he’d always done—whatever the hell he thought was right.

  “We can’t keep doing this,” Thack said, irritated that his voice was hoarse instead of harsh.

  “Now, Son, I know you had a bit of a scare.” Dad turned away, as if this wasn’t important. As if Kate being safe in the end made everything okay.

  “She wasn’t even on the property.”

  “But Shaw’s right next door.”

  “She crossed the property line. If she had wandered onto Parker land, she could have fallen into their pond. She could have come across a wild animal.” All the promises he’d given Michaela would have been broken, and he could have lost Kate, his most precious gift. The thought was unbearable. “She could have been ab—”

  “Boy, she isn’t an infant. She’s seven. Your mother and I let you—”

  “I don’t care. I do not care. There is nothing about what you and Mom did that pertains to my daughter.”

  “My granddaughter. You can’t lock her up. You can’t magically keep her from the dangers of the world.”

  “She’s seven! That is my job.” But he couldn’t do it and run the ranch at the same time. Not without someone he could count on. If he couldn’t even leave Kate with his own father, who the hell was he supposed to trust? “She was with a stranger, Dad. A complete and utter stranger, and I have no idea for how long. I don’t know what was said or done. That woman could have given her drugs or told her to—”

  “On Shaw property? You sure it wasn’t the Shaw boy’s wife? He got married last month, was it?”

  “No, it wasn’t her.”

  “Oh, was it the mystery sister? You know, talk over town is that she—”

  “It doesn’t matter who it was. It matters that it could have been anyone. It matters that Kate is too young to be wandering the property alone.”

  “That’s how you learn to be a man. A Lane. You explore—”

  “She’s not a man. She is a little girl.”

  “Now, isn’t that the sexism they’re always talking about?”

  Thack shook his head. He couldn’t do this and keep his anger under control, and as much as he’d love to lay into his father, lay into anybody or anything really, he’d made a promise to himself ever since they’d lost Michaela.

  He would never be the kind of man his daughter would fear. He would be even-tempered and fair. She would always know she was loved and safe. They had sacrificed so much to bring her into the world, and he wouldn’t let anything, anything happen to her.

  Lord knew life had tested every last inch of that promise, but he wasn’t about to let it go. That promise was the only thing keeping them all sane. He hoped.

  So he walked inside instead. His first stop had to be the kitchen, since Dad had probably let her eat pickles and ketchup and juice for lunch. That was all Kate ever wanted. Well, this time she was getting a sandwich. He’d make sure she ate real food, even if that made him the bad guy again.

  He kept thinking things would let up, but Halloween was bearing down on him, and Thanksgiving would be here before he knew it, before he got half his repairs done, and then it would be Christmas and a brand-new year. He kept putting little Band-Aids on things, only to have them fall off altogether.

  Thack paused with the sandwich half made, closing his eyes against a fresh wave of helplessness and hopelessness. Would he ever get to the other side? The side where things went smoothly? Where he didn’t have to worry and micromanage and just…be petrified every second she wasn’t in his sight?

  “You need help.”

  He didn’t spare his father a glance, because he would lose his shaky battle with emotion if he did. “You’re supposed to be my help.”

  “We need a woman around here. It’s been—”

  “Do not go there. Mom’s been gone how long?”

  “Not the same.”

  “Exactly the same. Fifteen years. You haven’t even looked at another woman.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far. I just didn’t let you know about it.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Kate is all I have room for.” Dear God, how could he possibly add another relationship to his life when every spare minute was stretched as thin as possible? And he was supposed to add a woman? For help. Right, because relationships like that didn’t take any time at all.

  “Well, at the very least you could make room for a housekeeper. Or a nanny. I know you don’t like the idea of trusting anyone else, but we do need help. Even if I did everything the way you want me to with that girl—which I won’t, because you can’t cage her up like an animal—we can’t do it alone anymore.”

  “Why? We got through the hard years. The baby years and the toddler years. She’s in school now. She—”

  “She needs more than just us, Thackery. The sooner you accept that, the happier we’ll all be.” Dad left without giving him a chance to respond.

  Not that Thack had anything to say. He wanted to be everything his daughter needed. He was trying so hard. She deserved everything he could give her, and yet it all seemed to come up short.

  But what could a stranger offer? Bringing in a nanny. It was like paying someone to love Kate, paying someone to give her their time and false affection until they moved on to the next job and left Kate behind. She didn’t need any more loss. The problem with people was they always left. Whether willingly or not, they left.

  Kate had already had enough of that to last a lifetime. Why would he willingly add more?

  Frustrated with himself, with life, Thack trudged upstairs with a sandwich and a juice box.

  When he opened Kate’s door, she was sprawled on her bed, looking at one of her books. Michaela had loved to read, so her parents had shipped all her childhood books to them when they’d found out Kate was a girl.

  Memories like that, so out of the blue, could gut Thack a million different ways. If only Michaela had been able to see this: their daughter so perfect and happy, enjoying what Michaela had enjoyed as a little girl.

  “Daddy. Look.” She waved him over to the book she was inspecting so closely. “See! It looks just like it.”

  Thack crossed the room, taking a seat on the floor next to her bed. The book she handed him was one he’d read to her a million times at least. He looked at the fairy castle illustration on the page Kate held open.

  “That’s green and pink. Hers was blue. And this is surrounded by flowers. That place was surrounded by snow. But it had trees just like this.” Kate pointed at the illustration animatedly. “And she looked just like the fairy queen. See? She had brown hair tied with a ribbon, and a big skirt like that, and—”

  “You know she’s not a fairy, Katherine Marie.”

  Kate sighed. “I know, but it’s fun to pretend.” She closed the book and grabbed for the juice box, but he held it back.

  “Five bites.”

  “Ugh.” She took the sandwich, putting the bread just barely to her lips, taking a bite so minuscule he was certain she got nothing but air.

  “No juice box until you take five real bites.”

  “What about five fairy bites?” she asked hopefully, even though they had this same conversation and struggle at almost every meal.

  “No, ma’am.”

  She rolled her eyes, and he saw a glimpse into her teenage years. His heart all but stopped beating. How would he ever survive this?

  You just will.

  They were Dad’s words, after they’d buried Michaela. Dad had promised, so somehow Thack had made it through.

  For her. For Kate. For the daughter who could be lost to him just as easily as his wife had been. “I know it’s hard sometimes,
but you have to follow the rules, Kate. You have to. The rules will keep you safe.”

  “It’s so boring when no one will explore with me,” she whined, taking an air bite as if he wouldn’t notice.

  “You’re always welcome to come riding with me.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “It’s boring. You just fix fences and stuff.”

  Just fix fences and stuff. A seven-year-old’s description of his life’s work was not exactly flattering. “I thought you liked the horses.”

  “I like to watch them run. Grandpa read me this story about Pocahontas, and she got up on the horse and it flew, and can I—”

  “No.”

  Kate flopped on her bed. “Why is everything so boring?”

  Thack looked up at the ceiling. The only time he’d been bored as a kid had been when he was trapped in the house on blizzard days or in English class. He was doing a disservice to Kate by letting her be bored, but why did everything she want to do have to be so damn dangerous?

  “Would it help if…we had someone come watch you in the afternoons?”

  “Like a babysitter?”

  “Well, more like…someone to play with.”

  “But Grandpa plays with me.”

  Thack didn’t say what he wanted to. That he didn’t trust Grandpa or anyone else. That she was the most precious thing in his life, and no one seemed to take that nearly as seriously as they should. But he was going to have to make an effort to trust, just a little, for her.

  “Can it be a girl?”

  “I don’t know yet, Katie Pie. Would you listen and follow the rules?”

  Kate looked at him slyly. “Could it be the fairy queen?”

  “Absolutely not.” The fairy queen was some stranger at the center of the town’s gossip. She would not be the answer to his needs. And she didn’t look anything like a fairy. A hippie, maybe. Trouble, definitely. Beautiful and fierce together were always trouble. Just like the girl on her bed taking fairy bites, reading fairy stories, and wanting to ride flying horses.

  “Did that lady say anything to you?”

  “No. She was just trying to help.”

  Yeah, she probably was.

  “Well, whoever it is will at least have to know some fairy stories. And know how to make that stuff I had at Grandma and Grandpa Jenks’s house that one time we visited. What was that stuff?”

  “Pot roast.” He had a seven-year-old who thought a pot roast was magic.

  “Do you know how to make pot roast, Daddy? Can we have it for Christmas this year?”

  “I’ll see what I can do.” He couldn’t ignore the situation any longer, not with Christmas less than three months away. Not with a daughter whose imagination was bigger than the ivory tower he was so desperate to keep her safe and sound inside.

  Dad was right. They needed help.

  Chapter 3

  Summer stalked back to the Shaw ranch. She was going to make sure that girl was safe. Mel and Caleb would have more info on the guy, probably. Hopefully. They’d be able to reassure her, or help the little girl, or do whatever needed to be done.

  Because in her experience, little girls didn’t attempt to run away from home unless their lives were isolated and unhappy. Her experience wasn’t exactly normal, of course, but that didn’t matter.

  She couldn’t push that little niggle of fear away. Not when she knew exactly what could happen.

  She burst into the Shaw house to find Delia and Caleb in the mudroom, bundled up in boots and coats. Mel stood in the hall just outside, bouncing Lissa.

  “There you are. We were about to send a search party. What’s going on?” Mel demanded.

  “I…” It hit her with a force she didn’t expect. Three people were demanding to know where she’d been, not because they were angry or inconvenienced, but because they were worried about her. She wanted to hug them all tight, maybe cry a little, but the Shaws were not the demonstrative type. There were times when she was scared to let them know how much it meant—to belong, to feel loved.

  She had to clear her throat to talk, and everyone exchanged glances. They were Summer’s being emotional again looks, but she didn’t mind. It was nice that they had looks that meant something about her.

  “I thought I saw someone down at the caravan, and when I got there, there was a little girl.”

  “A little girl?” Caleb repeated. “How little?”

  “Probably elementary-school age. I guess she was lost. Her father found her, but…”

  “That was probably the Lane girl. The fence on the east side of your caravan is on the line between our ranch and the Lane property. She’d be about that age,” Mel offered.

  “And you know them?”

  “Well, sort of. I mean, when I was running Shaw, Thack and Merle and I would talk on occasion. Good ranchers.”

  “But are they good people? Do you think that girl is safe?”

  “Safe?” Mel exchanged a look with Caleb, but it was one of their unreadable sibling looks that didn’t make Summer smile. That kind made her feel set apart, left out. She might be their sister, but she hadn’t grown up with them. She was still an outsider.

  “I’ve never had any reason to believe the Lanes are anything but good people.”

  “It’s just that he was angry with her. And…I don’t know. I got a weird vibe.” She turned to her sister-in-law, because unfortunately she knew Delia was her best target on this.

  “It’s not really your business, Summer,” Mel said.

  If someone had made it their business when she was a little girl, she wouldn’t have been used like a prop, like a doll, having to fend off inappropriate advances for most of her childhood. Dodging the volatile whims of a woman Summer didn’t understand to this day.

  “Look, Summer, I know Thack Lane too. He isn’t the type,” Delia offered, as an attempt to appease, Summer supposed.

  “Because there’s only one type?” It wasn’t like her to lash out at Delia. Considering Delia would know all about what an actual abusive father looked like, Summer knew she shouldn’t have. “I’m sorry. I just got a feeling and wanted to make sure I was overreacting.”

  “I think you are,” Mel said firmly. “The Lanes have been through a lot. I know you mean well—of course you do. But if his daughter was lost, Thack was probably worried sick. Wandering off in these parts can have real consequences for kids.”

  Mel seemed to hold her bundle a little tighter, and Summer blew out a breath. She should trust these people, people who actually knew the family.

  “He glared at me like I’d been the one to let his child wander off his property.”

  “I’ll have a talk with him.”

  Summer looked balefully at her brother. The note of protectiveness in his voice warmed her heart, but it wasn’t what she wanted. “I don’t need to be protected from the big, bad wolf. I just need to know that no one should be stepping in on the little girl’s behalf.”

  “I’d be very surprised, Summer.”

  Which didn’t tell her much of anything. That little girl had been alone on Summer’s property, cold and alone. Scared…before her father had arrived.

  But even if her siblings didn’t see a problem, that didn’t mean Summer shouldn’t listen to her gut. She could make sure the little girl was okay on her own.

  How, she had no idea, but she’d think on it until she thought of something.

  * * *

  “I’m not going to put fliers up, for Christ’s sake,” Thack said to his father while cleaning up Midnight after a full day of ranch maintenance. Kate was making a snowman just outside the barn in the fading twilight, and Thack looked at her so often that it was taking twice as long as usual to get the horse bedded for the evening.

  “How else are you going to find someone?”

  “I’ll ask her teacher when I drop her off at school
Monday. Maybe she’ll know someone trustworthy. Or I’ll ask Garrett.” Surely between a police officer and a school employee who had to have background checks, he could find someone he could trust his daughter with. His girl, the seven-year-old who was his entire life, whom he’d promised to protect from everything.

  Sure, there was someone out there he could trust. And Midnight could grow wings and fly.

  “I called up Cal.”

  “Cal Shaw?” Dad had been good friends with Cal Shaw years ago, but ever since Cal’s paralysis and both men losing their wives to different things—cancer, divorce—Cal had been something of a hermit.

  “I was asking about that daughter of his. The mystery one. He said she’s a nice girl. Does a bit of housekeeping for him and Caleb, though not as much now that Caleb’s gotten married.”

  “This better not be going where I think it’s going.”

  “I know it’s a bit silly, but Kate wants the fairy queen, so why not—”

  “No.”

  “Yes! The fairy queen. Da-a-addy.”

  Somehow Kate was in between them in a flash, jumping up and down and clapping her gloved hands together. “Please, Daddy. Please, please, please—”

  “You don’t even know her.” He raised his gaze to his father. “And as much as I always liked Cal, I’m not sure I trust his judgment these days. Not with Caleb running things.”

  “Married now.”

  “To as big of a screwup as he was.”

  “Well, we ain’t asking those two. We’d be asking the younger one.”

  “On Cal’s word? We don’t know anything about her—where she came from, why she’s a mystery, where the hell she’s been.”

  “Cal said his wife was pregnant when she left for California. So, that’s where she’s been.”

  “And that’s that?”

  “I’m not saying that’s that. I’m saying it’s what your little girl wants. You might as well look into it.”

  “Did you talk to Mel?”

  “She wasn’t there. Living over at the old Paulle place with that hockey-player husband of hers. They have a baby and—”