I knew it was true so I just kept reading until we were both yawning. I wasn’t really sleepy but blew out candles and put on my nightgown when Maggie took herself off to bed. I thought to stay awake for Jeremiah, but my busy day took its toll and I drifted off to sleep.
I was running, being chased by a large snarling dog, no, a witch. She laughed as she shot lightning at me out of her fingertips. Fire hit me, burning my back and setting my hair aflame. Where could I hide? If only I could run faster, leap higher. But I was weak, losing strength. I saw nothing ahead but darkness and had no safe place to go. I fell, screaming when she grabbed me and held me down. She would take all my blood, drain me dry. I knew it.
“No! No! Let me go!” I hit her, desperate to get away. Why couldn’t I move her? I was helpless and knew this was the end for me. I gasped my last breath.
“Gloriana, it’s me, Jeremiah. Stop it. You’re safe.” He touched my cheek.
I finally realized where I was and opened my eyes. “Jeremiah.” I threw myself against him and held on. “I had the most horrible nightmare. It was as if Marin had come back for me. I couldn’t get away.” I tried to calm my racing heart and took deep breaths. I realized he was naked and had crawled into our bed.
“A very bad dream.” He leaned back and studied my face which I was sure was pale from my fright. “Did you know vampires don’t dream?”
“You don’t?” I hadn’t given it any thought.
“No. That’s another thing you would lose, Gloriana, if I turned you. We never sleep. I told you we die at sunrise. So we cannot dream.” He let go of me and lay beside me.
“So you’ve been thinking about it. Turning me vampire.” I leaned on one elbow, staring down at him with my hand on his chest. “I thought you wouldn’t even consider it.”
“That was before the plague came so near. I saw three doors marked with that red X near us when I was out tonight.” He pulled me down so I was lying on his chest. “I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”
I sighed and kissed his firm skin. I did love him so. “I don’t want to lose you either, Jeremiah. Make me vampire and we could be together forever.”
“You say that so easily. You have no idea what you are asking me to do.” He pushed me away and stared into my eyes. “No idea at all.”
Chapter Seventeen
“Explain it to me, Jeremiah. Why is making me vampire such a grave thing?” I leaned over him, catching his eye. He did look serious, as if I asked him to break a blood oath. “Is it forever you’re worried about? You say you love me. Or are those just words? Said to make me give you my vein willingly?”
“I mean them, Gloriana. I do love you.” He took my face between his hands and looked deep into my eyes. “I can see you think this is what you want. But there is no turning back from this decision.”
“Of course. Once a vampire, always a vampire. Do you think I am a fool?” I tried to tease him. “It’s not like choosing a hat. I have been considering this seriously for weeks, Jeremiah.” I sighed. Teasing wasn’t the right approach here. “Say what is on your mind. Do you fear you will tire of me?”
“At this moment? I can’t imagine it. But, Gloriana, what you don’t understand is that when a vampire turns a mortal, he becomes his or her sire. Some among us can do so and walk away. I am not like that. I see it as an obligation. A decent sire should guide his creation. Teach her, train her, keep her safe. Forever.”
“Would that be so horrible? To do those things for me? You are already feeding me, clothing me and seeing to my safety. I see little difference than if I were to become one of your kind.” I turned my face to kiss his rough fingertips. If we were married, we’d have that eternal tie. But Jeremiah had never mentioned marriage and I was not about to throw that into this discussion. “I like to imagine us as night creatures together. Yes, forever. But perhaps you would miss my mortal blood. I suppose you would seek out another mortal to drink from. A woman?” The thought of that made me pull back.
“Your blood would still be a heady drink to me, whether you were vampire or mortal. You are the only woman I desire.” He smoothed my brows, ran his fingers over my cheekbones. “Please, listen to me. You say forever like it is nothing. Did you not see what a thousand years had done to Marin? She went mad from dealing with the challenges of the long life she’d led.”
“She didn’t have you to guide her.” I sighed. “If you are reluctant to do this, why not just take me to the Highlands with you as your mortal mistress?”
“I cannot.” He kissed me, then rolled us so that I was under him. “You do not understand how it is at the castle.”
“Explain it to me. Are you ashamed of me?” I hated to say it. But that was the only explanation I could think of. He’d introduced me to his king. It seemed to me that his parents would be a simpler matter. But I was not his wife and there had been no talk of calling the banns, had there? Oh, I had to stop thinking of it. He would read it in my mind and… I didn’t know why, but it was not how he saw me. As his wife. I shoved down the pain that caused and waited.
“Ashamed? No, of course not.” He stared down at me. “You are beautiful and very clever. Any man would be proud to have you on his arm.” He frowned. “But we are a family of vampires, Gloriana. Long ago we decided that bringing mortals to a family meeting is a bad idea. Mortals are nothing more than food, at least to the older ones among us. I could not be sure you would be safe there. And it would be breaking a long-held promise we all made.”
“You sound as if some among your family cannot be trusted.” I pictured wild Highlanders pouncing on me and tearing into my throat for a taste. It made me shudder.
“It’s true, I’m sorry to say. Marin is not the only ancient vampire to go mad. She had no family that we know of. I suppose Jean-Claude was all she had to call hers. And she clearly ruled him. It is not the same in the Campbell Clan. We take care of our own. My father is the Laird. When one of ours falls prey to uncontrollable blood lust, we take him or her in and make sure they stay safe. We don’t want a Campbell to find himself ashes at the end of a stake.” He stared past me, blindly, as if recalling a bad time.
“So you won’t take me with you as I am. Would it be better to leave me here? Leave me with the plague surrounding me? Men eager to prey on me? I was beset by thieves today when I dared walk a few steps away from our home. Bran said I could have been dragged off to serve in a brothel. Fergus surely told you about it while you were out tonight.”
“Aye, he did.” Jeremiah frowned. “I know I can’t keep you under lock and key until I come back to London. It would be your right to seek a new protector while I am gone.”
“And who would that be? Do you think I so easily give my heart and my,” I drew in a breath, fearing I would break down and sob on his chest, “body to just anyone?” I flung him off and he let me or I couldn’t have managed it. I crawled out of bed and stood beside it, shaking. “Of course you do. I had only to meet you in that alley and I was willing to lie with you. We had known each other for less than an hour and I was in your bed, naked and all yours.” The shame of it. I wanted to look away, but couldn’t. It was the ugly truth.
“That was not all willingly, Gloriana.” Jeremiah stared at me, still very solemn. “I am not proud of using my skills on you. Mind control, my love. Vampires can make mortals follow us, whether they want to or not. I saw you, smelled your blood and knew I had to have it and you in my bed. It took very little to bring you home that night. I stared into your eyes and you were helpless. You would have followed me anywhere.”
I stared at him, disbelieving. Was he truly saying that I’d had no control over choosing him? That I had been under his vampire spell? I had hoped Fergus was wrong. That I’d come willingly. But Jeremiah had just admitted it. I trembled, afraid to ask. Was I still under his control?
“No!” He was out of the bed and beside me before I could jerk open the door to our bedchamber. He held it closed. “It has been many weeks since I used any of my deceits on
you, Gloriana. Please believe me.”
“Believe you? A sorcerer who admits he can lure any mortal woman to his bed? I was easy prey, starving and desperate.” I felt sick and gulped for air, the room spinning. No. I would not be that weak. I steadied myself by grasping the door frame then faced him.
“Mayhap that is why you are reluctant to turn me vampire. Heaven forbid I should have the skills that will let me see into your mind. Let me control your will.” I balled up my fists when he tried to pull me against him. “You, you bastard!” I hit him, sobbing. To think that he’d controlled me, probably still controlled me. I hate, hate, hated him. I kept hitting him, furious and hurt to think he had professed to love me and yet treated me like I was nothing more than one of those pets Marin had claimed vampires were eager to own. Yes, own!
“Please, love, calm down. I am thinking of you when I say losing your mortality is not what you truly want.” He grasped my fists and kissed them.
He was so strong. Manipulative swine. It was too easy for him to drag me back to the bed and sit me down to face him. He dropped to his knees in front of me, staring into my eyes. Was he using more of his power? Was he even now calming me with his mind tricks? I raised my chin and looked away.
“Don’t do this. Don’t try to soothe me with one of your stares and vampire wiles. I, I could not bear it.” I flinched when he took my chin in his hand.
“I won’t do it. I am being honest now. I love you. I love your strong spirit. You would make a fearsome vampire, a woman any man would want to have with him forever. A woman I would want with me forever.” He kissed me, hungrily, and I hated myself for still wanting him. Tasting him and thinking he was the only man who had ever satisfied me.
I drew back, gasping. “Jeremiah, stop. Let me think. My own thoughts. Not some ideas you have planted in my head.”
“I’m not doing that. I swear it.” He pulled me up to stand in front of him. “If I turn you, you will be able to read my mind and my heart, but only if I let you. It is possible to block our thoughts and that is a skill I could teach you. You would have power then and could protect yourself. You would know I couldn’t sway you with my mind tricks.” He ran his hand down my body, as if every curve was one he desired and wanted to use again and again.
I swayed toward him. How could I love this man when he’d just confessed such a horrible thing? He’d wanted my blood and my body so he’d taken them. What about me? My mind, my thoughts and desires? I was a person. Would I still be one to him if I lost my mortality? I ran my own hands over his body, feeling the cool hardness and thinking of how that would be my eternal temperature if I did this thing.
Vampires were dead things. Dead. Every day at sunrise. And any mortal could take advantage of that with a stake of olive wood.
“If I turned you, I would see to it that you were safe during the day. I would have someone take care of you. Like Fergus does for me. Even if for some reason we parted.” Jeremiah leaned down, pressing a kiss to my vein.
Oh, yes, he did love that vein. “Take care of me forever, Jeremiah? I am not a child, helpless and needy. There is no need for such a promise.” Of course he thought of me that way. Hadn’t I been starving when we’d met? I had to work to make him see me as more than that. But that would take time. Time I would have if I became vampire. I was sure, too, that the future would always be uncertain, vampire or not. “I cannot imagine why we would ever be parted. I love you.” I felt the press of his desire against me. “Of course you might like variety or could tire of me.” I dragged my mouth down his chest to his stomach. “Are you tiring of me, Jeremiah?”
“God, no.” He groaned when I pleasured him, reminding him of things he had already taught me.
His hands were in my hair until I could tell he was about to spend. I stood and pulled him to the bed, lying back and inviting him inside my body. We still had this. When he took my vein, I held him close, whispering his name. He was mine, mine, and I was going to keep him. Giving up my mortality was a small price to pay. Later, we lay close, my cheek on his chest as I listened to his slowly beating heart.
“If you are still determined to do this, promise me something, Gloriana.” He stroked my back.
“What is it?” I leaned up and looked into his eyes.
“Take tomorrow and go outside, into the sunlight. Take a good long look at it. Breathe the air and think about what you would be giving up. Eat all of your favorite foods. Think about how that might be for the last time.” He smiled. “I saw you swallow just now. You will miss your sweet treats, will you not?”
“I admit it.” I kissed his chin. “But look what I will be getting. Immortality. A forever lover. Mind reading. And I will be able to shape-shift, like you and Fergus do. That will be amazing.”
“The change into vampire is painful, Gloriana. Like the worst torture. I will not lie to you about that.” He was back to being solemn again. “I have never done it myself to a mortal but have seen it done. I will have to drain you. Remember when I took too much of your blood? Fergus told me about it. After the fight with MacDonald.”
“Yes, I was very weak.” I had almost died. Now I fell back on the bed.
“Well, this will be worse. I will take your blood until your heart stops beating. You will die. Then I will force you to drink my blood. It will not be pleasant and you will fight against the drinking of it. It will feel as if it is burning you from the inside out. Once you finally come to life, you will be crazed. And starving for blood.” He sighed. “We will send Fergus and Maggie out of here for the night. Or they will be in danger from you.”
“Surely you exaggerate. Attack my friends? I cannot imagine…”
“Of course you cannot. It is beyond imagination. I remember parts of my own turning and wish I did not.” He kissed me gently. “I hate to do this to you. But it is the only way I can take you with me to the castle. If you are vampire, you will be welcome as my guest. Do you understand?”
“It is what I want, Jeremiah.” I pulled him down to kiss him hungrily. “Promise you won’t kill me and then leave me dead?”
“Of course.” He smiled into my eyes. “Promise me you will think hard about this tomorrow as you look into the sky and see the sun for what may be the last time.”
“I will.” I pulled his head to my breast and held him. He was worried. Which made me worry as well. “Does this turning ever go wrong, Jeremiah? Have you ever heard of someone not surviving it?”
“Aye.” He sat up. “So keep that in mind tomorrow, my love. You could be ending your own life with this decision. I will do my best to make this go right, but there are no guarantees.”
“I could catch the plague tomorrow as well. A falling chamber pot could smash my head and end me like it did Michael.” I sat up and faced him. “Or a gang of thieves could catch me and throw me into a brothel where I die of the pox. It is a cruel world, Jeremiah, I have reason to know that.” I leaned down and kissed him, lingering over it. He could read my mind, of course. Did he bother? Not when I was running my hands down his body again. I smiled and brought his hand to my breast.
“Anything can happen, Jeremiah. I’ll take my chances, with you.”
# # #
“Gloriana, I don’t like it.” Fergus had been trying to talk me out of my decision all day. Now he was packing a sack with a few things so he and Maggie could spend the night at a different lodging. “Change your mind, girl.” He had waited until Maggie had gone to fetch her sewing basket to try to persuade me one more time. It was almost sunset and he knew Jeremiah would wake at any moment.
“I had a wonderful day. Clear skies and the sun was shining, rare enough for London. Thank you for taking Maggie and me to the fair, Fergus.” I kissed his cheek. “Don’t worry. I will see you when you return.”
“If all goes well.” He frowned. “I have heard--”
“Maggie! Fergus told me he has found a nice place nearby. It is high time you two had a bit of privacy.” I turned to my friend and handed her the surprise
I had bought for her at a shop we’d passed during the day. “Open this when you are ready for bed.”
“You bought me a gift?” Maggie flushed. “You shouldn’t have.”
“Why not? I am happy for you and Jeremiah is generous with his coin.” I knew Fergus was going to have to tell Maggie about vampires this night. It would be hard. Would he also finally shift in front of her? Show her his bear or some other animal so she would truly understand what she had fallen in love with? I hugged her and whispered in her ear.
“Fergus is a good man. Remember that.”
“Why, Gloriana, you don’t have to tell me about my Fergus.” Maggie drew back and wiped her eyes. She turned to Fergus. “He has made my dream of having a child come true. And promised to marry me once we get to his home. I cannot imagine a better man.” She kissed his cheek.
“I wish I could take you to a fine inn, Maggie mine, but the threat of plague worries me. There is a set of rooms nearby that I know are cozy.” He picked up their bags. “We’ll be snug inside and no innkeeper to bother us.” He looked around. “Are you sure you wish us to leave you, Gloriana? Jeremiah should be up any time now.”
“Go.” I pushed them toward the door. I knew Fergus was taking them to rooms next to Robert MacDonald’s place. Bran had found them for him. Of course his cousin knew what was afoot. We had run into him at the market and he’d seen my concern on my face. It was impossible to hide anything from mind readers. I would be glad when I was vampire and had that skill of blocking my thoughts that Jeremiah had promised to teach me. Bran had pulled me aside and added his own urgings not to be hasty with such a big decision.
“Take care, Gloriana.” Fergus pulled me in for a hug. This was not like him and Maggie laughed.
“Here now. We’re only going away for a night.” She shook her head. “I think the thought of becoming a father has made him a bit daft. See you tomorrow, Gloriana.” She waved as she walked out the door.
Real Vampires: When Glory Met Jerry Page 25