“I swear to you, I have told you all I can. The auction site was an empty room, except for the stage and chairs.”
I sighed. I felt defeated. We were never going catch the slimeball.
“Okay. Well, thanks for what you’ve told us so far.”
“I will keep trying to remember. I promise to let you know if anything pops up. So… does this mean we can’t hang anymore?”
“What? No! Of course not. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you. It’s refreshing to be with a woman for once… I never realized I’ve been missing out on that connection. I’m around the guys so much.”
“Good, I’ve enjoyed this time too. Being a P.I. I spent a lot of time with men, too… or alone. I’m glad to have met you, just wish it had been under better circumstances.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
We stood in awkward silence until she finally spoke again.
“Well, I’m sore from that last workout. I think I’ll go soak in the tub. Catch you later.”
“Sounds good.”
When I entered the room, I now shared with Ian, he was lounging on the loveseat with his arms spread across the back and his legs stretched before him, ankles crossed.
“I was wondering when you would return,” he said with a small smile.
“What’s up?”
“I was hoping for some time alone with you.”
“Oh? Well, I think that can be arranged.”
Locking eyes with him, inch by inch I removed my leggings. I reached for the hem of my shirt, lifting it ever-so-slowly. I continued my strip tease until Ian made a low growl and sprang from the sofa.
I shuffled backwards, laughing a little, as he tried to grab me.
“Goldie…”
“Yes, Ian?”
I tossed my top to him. The look on his face, the want, the need I saw there, ended my teasing. I stood letting him look at me in only my bra and panties.
As I removed my bra, I watched him. His mouth was open slightly and his breath was quickening. He took a step toward me. When I didn’t move, he closed the distance, crushing his lips to mine.
Needing to feel him, to touch him, I pulled his shirt up and brushed my chest against his, enjoying the feeling. I ran my hands over his back, trailing my fingers to the front of his jeans to unbutton them. I placed my hand over him, with a moan he pressed into my touch.
I trailed my lips to his neck, down his chest and torso, until I was on my knees in front of him. Slowly, I lowered his jeans to the floor and looked up at him.
“For the love of Danu, Goldie.”
My teasing had us more than ready. As I rose, I ran my hands over his body. He grabbed me by the waist, lifting me to meet his lips. I wrapped my legs around him and cried out as he slipped inside me.
Sometime later, after we’d somehow made it onto the bed, I relaxed with my head on his chest.
“How is it going with Juliana?” he asked after a while.
“Hmm? Well, personally, it’s great. We are getting along well. Informationally, not so great. She has no more to tell us. She promised she’d keep trying to remember something more. How are the Scouts doing? Anything?”
“They found three abandoned nests. More tortured mortals. We saved most of them, but three were too far gone.”
“Dammit! They’re hurting so many innocents! I feel like we should be doing more. But what? Juliana must have something more. Something repressed or something she isn’t even aware she knows. Can’t you try reading her mind again?”
“No, I believe I have gotten as much as I can from her without using force.”
“Maybe you should try talking to her. Maybe you’ll think of questions I didn’t.”
He thought on that for a bit.
“Okay, I will try.”
“While you do that, I’ll make lunch for everyone.”
********
I brought the food to the mortals, leaving Juliana’s plate on a table by her usual chair. We still had to move her into the room Ian had selected for her.
I went back to the kitchen to force myself to eat something, especially since Bryce and Peder were there. Peder informed us that Leo had another possible nest for us to check out. It was something at least.
I’d recuperated and needed some action. I needed to know I was working toward an end to Gabriel and his minions. We’d wait until after dark to head out, so we had time before we had to get ready.
“Are you going to eat that or play with it?” Rufus asked as he entered the kitchen.
I frowned and glanced down at my plate. I hadn’t eaten any of it. I’d just torn the sandwich apart without knowing I was doing so.
“Play with it, I guess.” I shrugged and stood to dump it in the disposal. “I’m not that hungry.”
“Yes, about that…” Bryce began, “I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating much lately. You even had a hard time eating peanut butter and jelly. And that’s your favorite!”
“Maybe it’s stress or something?” It was a lame excuse. Healing all that damage should have made me ravenous, but I’d lost my appetite — something that has never happened.
I thought back and realized that since the night we’d rescued Seth and Ian, I’d only been eating about once a day… if that. And that was only when I was forced to eat.
Ian came strolling into the room saving me from any further discussion about my eating habits… or lack thereof.
“Leo has another location for us to check out tonight,” I said before anyone else could speak. I didn’t want to give them the chance of mentioning my loss of appetite to Ian.
Ian did not acknowledge what I said or anyone else in the room, he just took me by the arm and pulled me aside.
“You did not tell Juliana about what Gabriel did to you?”
“Uh… I hadn’t thought about it,” I lied.
“Bullshit. Why have you not told her? That could have helped her open up more.”
“Because… Because I don’t want to talk about it. I want to forget it. You had no right to tell her about it. It is mine to tell!”
“I did not tell her. You were right, talking with her relaxed her a little. I was able to read her mind more.”
“What did you talk to her about that relaxed her so?”
I wasn’t jealous, just curious… Okay, so I was jealous. Sue me.
He smirked. “Nothing in particular.”
“Uh-huh,” I muttered as I crossed my arms.
He wrapped his arms around me, pinning mine between us and kissed me. Throats cleared and murmurs arose from around us. That didn’t stop Ian from doing a thorough job at making me forget my moment of jealousy. It was the first time he had kissed me in front of anyone. It was a huge step in our relationship.
He ended the kiss but held on to me as he continued his explanation. “The information about Gabriel is muddled, but her more recent memories and thoughts are crystal clear. She thinks we cannot understand what she and the others have been through… especially you. She thinks you have had it easy with us to take care of you.”
“HA!”
“Exactly. She does not know how skilled you are. More importantly, she has no idea what Gabriel did to you. You should tell her. It may help her to know you have that in common.”
“Fine, I will talk to her.”
“I will go with you if it will make you more comfortable.” He kissed my head and let me go and for the first time I didn’t want to be close to him.
“Thanks, I should do it on my own though,” I said and left to go to the hospital wing.
Juliana smiled when she saw me, but it quickly faded when she noticed my expression.
“Kadi? What’s wrong? Has he found us?”
“No, nothing like that. Want to go for a walk on the beach?”
“Yeah. You sure you’re okay?”
We walked a bit in silence before she cleared her throat looking at me expectantly. “Why did you ask me to come out here with you? There’s something bothering you.
Tell me. I’m a good listener.”
“Right… Okay, I have a story for you… So… Recently, we — the clan and I — went to a house we figured to be one of Gabriel’s hideouts. We were right. We caught Gabriel by surprise, not unprepared though, and he was able to trick me. He…” I stopped when my voice wavered a little.
“Oh…” She put a hand on my arm. “You don’t have to tell me.”
“Yes, I do.” I took a deep breath. “He chained me to a bed and tortured me for what felt like hours… I really have no idea how long I was there. He cut, bit, hit. I refused to scream, refused to let him know he was hurting me. When I passed out from exhaustion or shock, he stabbed me to wake me. Never anywhere vital, just to bring me back to consciousness.”
“Yeah, he likes — as he puts it — ‘a stubborn woman’. He said he enjoyed hearing me scream, but I think he liked it more when I didn’t. Gave him something to work for… and he sure loves his work.”
“Yes, he does.” We were both shaking. I put my arm around her, and she did the same. “It’s over now though. He will never touch either of us again. We will find him, and I will kill him.”
“I want to help.”
“I don’t know…”
“Kadi, did he rape you?”
The nightmares flashed through my mind.
“No. He was just about to when Ian arrived.”
“Well, you all didn’t get there fast enough for me. Gabriel raped me… repeatedly. He said it was for some mission. After… he’d be gentle and kind—in his own twisted way—for days, sometimes weeks. I finally noticed it was when I got my period that he would fly off the handle again. He’d beat me to the brink of death, just to heal me and start the cycle over again.” She stopped and locked eyes with me and continued, “I. Want. To. Help.”
How in the hell could I say no after that? My nightmares were horrific, but they in no way compared to actually being raped by Gabriel. If he had raped me, I’d do everything in my power to kill him. It surprised me her brain hadn’t broken after everything that sicko had done to her. People have gone crazy from way less, yet she was still sane.
“Okay. I’ll go talk with Ian.”
Chapter Thirteen
“You have to let her help us, Ian. You don’t understand. She needs closure, just like I do, but much more than I,” I pleaded, and then added softly, “He raped her, Ian.”
“I do not care.” He let out an exasperated sigh when I growled at him. “I am sorry, of course I care. I only mean it is not safe for her to be a part of the actual fight. She can help us by telling us where his hideouts are. I also do not yet trust her enough to tell her how to kill a banshee.”
“Ian, please,” I said as I moved to stand in front of him. He looked down at me with soft eyes making me think I had him.
He leaned down and kissed me so tenderly I thought I’d won him over.
“No,” he said.
“Dammit!” I pushed him away.
“You can look at me with those big, golden-brown eyes and pouty lips all you want, but the answer is no.”
“He will never stop wanting her. Never stop looking for her. She’s different, and he likes that… really likes it. When the fire exploded in the fireplace, he thought I’d made it happen. He became even more excited. My differences fascinated him.”
“What fire? Why didn’t you mention this fire earlier?”
“I forgot about it until now. When Gabriel went to the fireplace to get the branding iron, the fire exploded up to the ceiling. I had yelled at him at the same time, so he thought I’d caused it to happen.”
“You may have.”
“What?”
“Will you try something for me?”
“I guess?”
He took my hand and led me to the fireplace. “Envision a fire. Believe it is there. Picture it, feel its warmth, believe.”
Even though I felt a little silly, I did as he asked. After a few moments I felt my aura begin to warm. The warmth grew, spreading through my body. I envisioned a fire sparking to life. Suddenly, a small fire appeared in the fireplace. I jumped out of Ian’s reach with a yelp.
“How the… I did that?”
“You hold fire.”
“Say what now?”
“It is rare, but not unheard of for a member of the Fey to have the ability to control an element of nature. We refer to it as ‘holding’ the element. You hold fire. With practice you may gain full control and the skill to call upon it at will.”
“Whoa,” I breathed.
I felt panic rise and my stomach clench. I looked up at Ian and the affection I saw in his eyes helped me to calm. To help myself relax, I took a few breaths and sat on the sofa.
“Okay, I can do this. I dealt with finding out I am fairy and that banshees are real at a young age. I handled being super-charged by banshee essence. ‘Holding’ fire isn’t so bad, right?”
I had been through, seen, and done a lot in my short life, and holding fire should be the least of my concerns. I had ended the lives of bad banshees and had helped save the lives of innocent mortals. I had been beaten, stabbed, kidnapped, and tortured. So, holding fire could be of some use, no?
After thinking it through, I liked the idea of holding an element of nature. Fairies, well Fey in general, had always been more in tune with Mother Nature than mortals. We honor Mother Nature with certain rituals and celebrations throughout the year. Fire is an important element; it’s a purifier of nature. It’s a part of me. I just had to accept it.
“It is in no way bad,” Ian said as he sat beside me. “You should feel honored. Fire was the element of Brigid, Daughter of Danu.”
Danu had been known as the Mother of Banshees. Basically, Queen of Banshees. She was the oldest living Fey, making her the most powerful. Her eldest daughter, Brigid was well-respected and loved by the banshees. Danu’s younger daughter, Balora, was jealous of her mother and sibling.
One night, Balora killed Danu while she slept. Brigid rose to glory by avenging Danu’s death by killing her own sister.
Unfortunately, Brigid died during the Great War. Stories of her combat prowess, and alternatively, her compassion we still told today.
“All right then, that settles it, if Brigid held fire, I am honored to hold it as well.”
“The gift of an element is something mysterious and special, but you must keep it to yourself.”
“Yeah. That makes sense. Don’t want to confirm Gabriel’s suspicions and have him pursue me full speed ahead. So… is it only banshees that have this ability? Or have fairies had it as well?” I asked, the thread of an idea beginning to weave its way through my mind.
“Until now, I have only heard of banshees having this ability. I know of a banshee who holds wind. He can bring forth the fiercest of storms with a blink of his eye,” Ian said with a grand smile that I had never seen on his face before making me wonder…
“Uh-huh, and this banshee wouldn’t be you, by chance, would it?”
He only winked at me before continuing.
“Let us get back to your new ability. Practice.”
“Obviously. I have no choice but to practice. I don’t want to start a fire accidentally. Are you able to help me practice? Or is it a personal thing?” I asked.
“It is something you must do on your own. You need to envision what you want the fire to do and believe it is happening, and it will happen. It may start on a smaller scale as tonight, but eventually you will hold it fully.”
“Okay. Okay, I will do that… but I think I’ll start outside,” I said thinking it safer to play with fire on the beach than inside.
“Well, not out in the open, so maybe the garage.” Ian replied as he moved in for a kiss.
When his lips moved to my earlobe, I shifted to allow him better access. I had two motives for this move: one, it felt wonderful and two, maybe if he was in a playful and amorous mood, I could get him to agree about Juliana.
“So,” I began as I slid my hands into his hair, “
about Juliana—”
“No,” he replied, his voice muffled as he moved his lips down my neck.
I pulled out of his grasp. “I understand not trusting her with how to kill a banshee… yet. But why not let her train with me? Just to get stronger, more agile… become a better fighter. You can see how she does. This way when you do trust her, she will be ready. If she is willing to risk her life to stop the asshole that took hers away from her—which is exactly what he did—why not let her?”
I didn’t want her killed trying to stop Gabriel, and I would damn well do everything in my power to make sure she didn’t, but I knew how it felt to want payback.
“Goldie, I do not know if I will ever be comfortable letting her fight with us.”
“Why?”
“Because trying to keep her alive will distract you and yours is a life I refuse to risk under any circumstances, for any reason.”
“It won’t distract…” I couldn’t finish the lie. I crossed my arms and settled into a good pout.
“Goldie?”
“What?”
“You may spar with her, but as soon as we can we are setting her up back in her old life. Or something close to it.”
“Psssh, right! You’ll have someone watching her every step for the rest of her life! I am sure we can find a position for her in the Clan, even if she can’t be a Hunter.”
If Ian wouldn’t let her live her life in private, at least she could get paid while we spied on her.
“No,” he said as he stood from the couch.
I rose with him, looked up at him with my ‘big, golden-brown eyes’ and my ‘pouty lips’, wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my chin on his chest. “At least think about it. Pretty please?”
He sighed and wrapped his arms around me. “Fine, I will think about it. For now, I am done talking.”
“Oh, are you now?” I said with a smirk as he moved us toward the bed.
********
Sometime later, I was smiling at a thrilled Juliana after telling her Ian was thinking of allowing her to work for us. I made sure I explained that she wouldn’t be fighting with us. However, she would at least be learning how to fight. When she told me the agency she had worked for thoroughly trained her a small laugh escaped me.
Becoming Banshee Page 11