“We will talk when you are ready. In the meantime, stop thinking of yourself negatively. When you do, you will realize you are the only one thinking that way.”
I looked up at him and he lowered his lips to mine, but I pulled back before he could deepen the kiss and earned a groan from Ian.
“Come on, we should get ready for tonight,” I said as I rose from the sofa.
Chapter Fourteen
As we made the last turn according to the directions Leo had provided us, we ended up in a residential neighborhood and I looked at Ian in confusion. He shrugged in answer and we got out of the car to join the others.
“Why are we here?” I asked no one in particular.
Leo walked up, his long blond braid swaying just past his behind as he moved.
“This is where they’re holed up,” he replied as he reached back to wrap the braid into a bun making it harder for someone to grab and use against him.
“What? This is a neighborhood full of mortals. It’s risky,” I said. Mortals may be their food source but keeping a nest among them was just stupid.
“I don’t think they feel they’re being risky. I think they feel they are superior to the surrounding mortals. If anyone asks questions or causes trouble, they just become dinner,” he said. “That’s how we found them. We’d been scouting the neighborhood. The residents had been calling the cops about the noise, and suddenly the complaints stopped. The neighbors are either scared to death… or dead. Those who are alive won’t come out of their houses unless they have no other choice and when they do, they travel in small groups. They don’t answer the door. It was difficult to talk to them, but I was able to get a few on their way to work. Reading their minds gave me what I needed to know.”
This house was not empty. I could sense the banshees inside from where I stood.
“This is going to be a mess,” Ian grumbled.
It surely was. Once we cleared the house, we had to work on the neighbors’ memories. Wiping their memories would allow them to go back to a normal life.
“All right, team, after we get rid of the rats, I will need all hands on deck to help with the mortals in the vicinity. We must move fast. You know the drill,” Ian instructed.
He turned to me. “You are staying with me. Do not stray away. Do not follow anyone. If one runs let them go! Do not risk yourself at any cost.”
“Got it.”
He pulled me into his arms. “I will not let anything happen to you.”
I looked up at him. His eyes were full of the promise he made, but I had heard the promise before and he wasn’t able to keep it. I didn’t blame him for what happened, not in the least. But I couldn’t rely on him — or anyone — to protect me. I needed to depend on myself and myself alone.
“Break it up you two. We have work to do,” Rufus said as he passed.
Ian, Rufus, and I went to the front of the house. Bryce and a few others joined us. Leo’s group when to the backdoor, while Slash, Seth, Sheryl and Peder took the rest to the side of the house to enter through the garage. We heard music in the house; it would drown out the noise of breaking into the house.
We needn’t have worried about breaking in though. The front door had been left unlocked. They were cocky. Cocky meant they were lax, and lax meant easy targets.
The front door opened to the living room, where we found three banshee males with a mortal female. A quick look around the room showed pictures of the woman on the walls and furnishings. It was her house, and she had a husband and at least one child… or she did at one time. I could only hope they went quickly, especially the child.
The banshees were each taking a hit from her and passing her on to the next. They didn’t even realize we were there. They were high, which meant the woman was medicated or mentally unstable herself… or both.
“For the love of Danu, they are passing her around like a joint,” Rufus spat in disgust.
I felt just as disgusted and killed the closest banshee. That got their attention. They tossed the woman across the room. Their intoxication put them at a disadvantage. There were two of them, three of us. They with no weapons. Us with swords and knives. It was over quickly.
The woman was so gone she didn’t react to seeing men killed in front of her, and she didn’t seem to care that their bodies were turning to dust in front of her eyes. She just sat staring blindly into space. Ian checked on her and shook his head. She was too far gone to be saved. He motioned for Flip to tend to her while we continued.
The kitchen was empty, but I noticed something on the wall above the stove. In big, bold, bloody letters was the word ‘Nephilim’.
“Goldie,” Ian called.
“In the kitchen.”
“I told you not to wander off,” he said.
“Do you know what this means?”
His gaze moved to where I was staring.
“Damn,” Rufus muttered from beside Ian.
“I take it you know?” Their jaws were set and expressions grim. “Seeing it, I remember it being on the wall above the fireplace in the room where Gabriel…” I didn’t want — or need — to finish my thought.
The brothers gave each other meaningful looks.
“I will explain later,” Ian said as he started to pull me out of the kitchen.
“No, you won’t. You never do. Give me the short version.”
It was Rufus who began speaking, “It’s a biblical term. The story says angels, called the Watchers, were sent to Earth to keep an eye on things. Instead, they mated with mortals and their offspring were known as Nephilim. Supposedly, they were giants who wreaked havoc on mortals.”
“What does that have to do with Gabriel?”
“It appears Gabriel is trying to start a new race by mating with mortals. Nephilim is what he has named his mission. Therefore, he calls his followers Fallen Angels.”
I looked to Ian hoping he’d tell me Rufus was messing with me, but he nodded.
“So, he’s more gone than I thought.”
“Yes. They starved him into insanity a long time ago. Instead of fighting it, he accepted it, embraced it, and let it grow. There is nothing sane left in him,” Rufus explained.
“Well, I guess that explains the ‘mission’ he kept mentioning and what his plans for Juliana were. And now what he has planned for me. Gets better and better, doesn’t it? This is fan-freaking-tastic!”
I shivered at the thought of being Gabriel’s guinea pig.
“Yes, well, that will not happen. I can assure you of that. Shall we continue?”
“Yes, yes, let’s.” I led the way out of the kitchen.
We came to a hallway with three doors, two on the left and one on the right. We started with the one on the right. There were three banshees in the room, two male and one female. Preoccupied. they didn’t notice us right away. It was the woman who noticed us first. She hissed as she tried to free herself from her beaus. They weren’t too happy to have their little party broken up, but I was more than happy to do the breaking.
Ian motioned to a few of our guys to take care of them. No more fun for you, assholes, I thought as we went to the next door. Our guys had taken care of the banshees in that room and they were tending to two mortal women who were still alive. They gave us a thumbs up and we moved on to the next room.
We peeked in the third door, the bathroom. The remains of disintegrated banshees were in the bathtub. That tub had to be scrubbed before we left. The banshee dust mixing with water would be a real pain to clean.
“Looks all clear,” I said to Ian.
“Seems that way, but we should do another round.”
This den of debauchery was banshee party central. We found drugs scattered through the house. Prescription pain meds, street drugs, you name it, it was there. They were drugging up the mortals and drafting from them to get themselves high. This made an easy job for us, but Ian was right, we should make sure there were no hidey-holes somewhere in the house.
We met up with a group of our g
uys in the living room.
“All clear,” Slash said, Sheryl by his side and the others behind them. “There were no other living mortals.”
“So, you found bodies?” I asked. Slash nodded but didn’t elaborate. “How many, Slash?”
“There were four women and… two children.”
“Dammit!” I wrapped my arms around myself.
“There are five fresh graves out back.”
Before I could move, Seth was at my other side, and Bryce was in front of me.
“No,” Bryce said.
“Move,” I growled.
“Goldie, you don’t want to go out there, my love. Trust me,” Ian said.
“I may not want to, but I have to. I signed up for this. I cannot let you guys do the dirty work just because you are used to it.”
I was going to help remove those bodies and get them a proper burial, out of respect for the lives those people once had. Their bodies shouldn’t stay here where they had been tortured to death. Besides, multiple bodies with no signs of trauma buried in the suburbs would raise questions.
“What makes you think we are used to this?” Peder asked.
“I worded that wrong. It’s just you have been doing this a lot longer than I have, so I assume you’ve built up a wall against it.”
“Darlin’ no matter how long you do this, you never get used to it. So, believe us when we say you will regret going out there. It won’t help those people, and it most certainly won’t help you.”
Ian began to rub my back, but it did little to soothe me.
“I don’t care. I am helping.” Seth tried to interrupt me. “Save it, there’s nothing you can say to stop me.”
Reluctantly, Ian led me out back where Leo and Flip were waiting with shovels. A tall wooden fence bordered the small yard. There were no trees or plants of any kind, and what grass remained had died long ago. It crunched under my feet as I walked the yard. I stopped walking, vision blurred by tears, when I saw that two of the piles of dirt were smaller than the others. More dead children.
I sucked in a breath as the anger in me peaked. Currents of heat from the fire I held coursed through my body. Sensing it, Ian moved toward me. Not wanting to call attention to it, I held up a hand to stop him. I used the same method Ian had taught me to call upon my element, to tamp it down instead.
Closing my eyes, I took slow, deep breaths and envisioned the heat dissipating. After a few moments I no longer felt it. I gave Ian a watery smile, grabbed a shovel, and started digging up the grave in front of me. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, and I gagged when the smell hit me.
After a few more shovels of dirt, the smell was so awful I ran to the corner of the fence where I fell to my knees heaving. Strong hands scooped me up and carried me through the house out to the front yard before setting me on a bench.
“I’m such a wimp,” I said to Seth and Ian as they sat beside me. I put my head in my hands and stared at the ground.
“Stop. This whole self-deprecating bullshit you do is annoying. You know you’re not a wimp, you’ve proved it time and time again,” Seth said before Ian could react. “Throwing up when smelling a decomposing body is the most normal thing about you!”
I could not hold back the laugh that escaped me. He turned to glare at me, and I laughed harder.
“I’m sorry, it’s just so true it’s funny.”
He just stared at me. “I think you are hysterical.”
I shrugged. “Maybe. Probably.”
“Definitely. Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah, just embarrassed.”
“There’s no reason to be embarrassed. Every single one of us has had the same reaction. Even Ian,” Seth said.
“How do you know that?” I asked looking to Ian for confirmation. He gave nothing away.
Seth shrugged. “It’s just a guess.”
Ian sat, still revealing nothing. If we were alone, I was sure he’d agree, but with Seth there, no way in hell he was admitting to a weakness.
“Goldie, if you want to help, help with the living mortals. You can no longer do anything for those in the back, and you know that. This does not make you weak, it makes you practical.”
“Kadi-cakes, for once, please listen to us,” Seth added.
The concern on both of their faces decided for me. I couldn’t say no to my guys. They were right, there wasn’t much I could do for the dead. Still, the mortals that were alive needed more help than I could give, but I could help move them to the vehicles and make them comfortable.
“Okay.”
“Thank, Danu,” Ian said as he stood to take my hand as we walked back into the house.
********
A few hours later, the house was as clean as it was going to get, and the survivors were tucked into the trucks. Ian and a bunch of the others were staying behind to work on the neighbors. Seth and I took one of the SUVs with Flip and Bryce and headed back to the beach house. We rode in silence. Affected by recent encounters with the so-called Fallen Angels, none of us were up for conversation.
Once we arrived at the house, we brought the mortals in the hospital wing. Bryce went back to unload the weapons from the trucks. I stayed with the mortals to help get them in clean clothes and settled into bed.
I stayed and watched as Seth and the others wiped the mortals’ memories. It was a silent task and was relaxing in its way.
When he finished, Seth looked up, saw me, and smiled. It was the first real smile he’d given me in days. The knot in my stomach eased a little.
“Well, that’s as good as they’re going to get tonight. Let’s go get cleaned up ourselves.” He walked me to my bedroom and before I could go in, he asked, “How are things going with Ian?”
It took me a minute to wrap my mind around the question. It was the last thing I expected him to ask.
“Good. Getting to see his other side is exciting.” Not sure what else to say, I gave a little shrug.
“Good. That’s really good. I’m happy for you.”
“You mean that?”
“Yes, of course. I wouldn’t bother saying it if I didn’t. Goodnight, Kadi.”
“Goodnight, Seth.”
I went to take a much needed shower. While in the shower I let the tears come, and once they started, they didn’t seem to want to stop. After a few moments, I felt Ian’s arms slip around me. I leaned on him as the tears finally slowed.
“Talk to me. It will help,” he said.
“It’s just… I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Try.”
I thought about what I wanted to say as we dried off and settled on the couch in front of the fire Ian had built before joining me in the shower. It was more for comfort than the heat. I stared into the flames, finding their dance mesmerizing and soothing.
“As sad as I am about the people Gabriel and his damned Angels have tormented and killed, there’s one thing that bothers me more.”
“What would that be?” he asked as he took my feet into his lap to massage them.
“I have never wanted to kill, it was just a necessity to save the lives of innocent people, but now I really want to kill Gabriel. What he did to me and all those innocents has changed me. I don’t like admitting it, but that’s the truth. The only way I can think to fix it, is to kill him and his minions. It’s just one big vicious circle.”
Ian moved his caresses up my calf, and I let out a sigh of pleasure to encourage him. “You want vengeance. That is normal. Though I am sorry to say that even after getting it you will not feel any better about it. There will still be other bad guys that will do bad things to good people. Unfortunately, the memories from these past weeks will still be there. I want to tell you that killing them will make everything better, but I cannot.”
“I know.”
I was still getting used to being this intimate with Ian. I’d always been in awe of him. The way he moves and handles himself. His six-foot, broad-shouldered, solid body doesn’t exactly invoke images of gr
ace, but he has it in spades. Watching him spar had always been one of my favorite things to do.
As we grew closer, as he let little pieces of himself slip out, I became amazed at how this big, burly fighting machine could have such a huge heart and a soft spot for lost souls.
He’d been so scared when he thought I’d die from Gabriel’s torment. Then so affectionate once he knew I was okay. The word ‘love’ could not begin to express my feelings for him.
I stretched into his touch. His hands moved higher up my legs.
“Mmm, that feels lovely.”
My robe slipped opened as his hands moved over my hips to my waist. He lifted me to carry me to the bed. I leaned back onto my elbows as he fully opened my robe. His eyes roamed over my body. Even without his touch, the hunger in his eyes excited me.
“You are stunning,” he said as he removed his robe.
I moved onto the bed and crooked my finger at him.
“I’ve been waiting for you since before I met you,” I said as he slid into me.
Suddenly, he rolled off me, leaving me feeling exposed.
“Ian?”
“There are things you do not know about my past. It is selfish of me to continue this without giving you a fair choice. I have already let it go too far.”
I stared at his profile wondering what the hell could be so horrible.
“What could make you think my feelings for you will change? I may not know about your past, but that’s just what it is: your past. I know the Ian you are now, and that’s the Ian I fell in love with.” Crap! I stopped short after that, I hadn’t meant to say it, and I stiffened waiting for him to respond.
When I felt him stiffen too, I tried to pull away from the arm he still had around me, but he tightened his hold and rolled to his side to face me.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“I, um, I didn’t mean to say that. I just wanted you to know your past is your past. I’m not going to judge you by things you did before I knew you.”
“So, you did not mean it? You are not in love with me?”
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