You and I Alone

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You and I Alone Page 17

by Melissa Toppen


  While most of our night was spent holed up in the bedroom, there were also small moments that made me see Bentley in a completely different light. The way he tucked my hair behind my ear as we sat on the couch talking and eating sandwiches. The way he joked and laughed with me. It was enough to permanently attach this ridiculous grin I am now wearing.

  Opening my water, I take a long drink, stopping mid way through my swallow when I spot a note sitting on top of the granite counter top. Pulling the bottle away from my mouth, I sit it down next to the paper and then retrieve the note with shaky fingers.

  Had to head back to New York.

  The house is paid through the night so stay as long as you like.

  Thank you for last night.

  -Bentley

  The smile instantly falls from my face as I read his words. Thank you for last night? Makes me sound like a prostitute that he is thanking for services. A sick feeling quickly forms in the pit of my stomach as I crumble up the note and toss it in the trash can to my left.

  I don't know what I was expecting exactly. After last night, I guess I feel like I deserve more than a stupid note that makes me feel the opposite of how I felt three minutes ago. Shaking my head, I take a deep breath and try to remind myself who I am dealing with here.

  Isn't this what I wanted? For him to back off? I should be happy that he spared me the awkward morning after conversation. And maybe now that he has had his fill, he will leave me alone and I can go back to my normal life. The one I was happily living before he showed up and threw everything out of wack.

  Slipping on my heels, I quickly make my way to the front door, not bothering to look behind me as I do. The moment I step outside, I take a deep breath and quickly head for the stone path. Last night the walk over seemed like an eternity, but I think that was more from the anticipation of what was to come.

  It only takes me about ten minutes to reach Andrea's parent's vacation house. Knowing full well that I probably look like a complete tramp, given that I am still in last nights clothes and makeup, I consider sneaking in a window rather than knocking on the front door. The last thing I need right now is to see the disapproving eyes of two people who already don't like me very much.

  Not that they hate me or anything, I'm just not like them. They come from money, country clubs, big houses and expensive cars. While I come from, well nothing. My grandmother tried her best but being landed with a child unexpectedly on a very fixed income, didn't bode well for us. But even still, she never complained and even found a way to pay for my dance classes, though I suspect that Patty worked out something with her years ago or she probably would not have been able to afford to keep me in class.

  The door opens in front of me, pulling me from my thoughts and I jump slightly at the unexpected appearance of Seth, Andrea's father. His eyes widen slightly when he sees me, clearly not expecting to see me just standing here.

  “Everything okay Anna?” He asks, pulling the door closed behind him as he steps out onto the porch. Seth is a nice looking man, older of course, but he's aged very well. He keeps himself in really good shape and I can see by his shorts and t-shirt that he is on his way out for a run.

  “Yeah, fine.” I say, giving him a forced smile. Truth is, I am not fine. I am mortified. I can tell by the way his eyes dance across my face that he knows what I've been up to. I can feel the judgment in his stance and the disapproval in his glare.

  “Andrea is still asleep. Perhaps you can wake her up and actually get her to do something other than lay at the pool today?” He suggests, popping in his ear buds and throwing me a nod before stepping down the stairs and taking off in a jog down the stone pathway.

  Determined to get inside as quickly as possible and hopefully not have to have a similar interaction with Janet, Andrea's mom, I peel the door open and without looking around, head straight back to my room, peeking in on Andrea as I do.

  Sure enough, just as her father indicated, Andrea is sprawled out on the bed snoring lightly. I tip toe across the hall to my room and quickly slip out of my dress and into a pair of comfy shorts and a tank top. I crawl into my bed, hoping that I can find it in me to get just a little more sleep.

  I can hear the rain starting again and can't help but wonder how long it will be until Seth returns and no doubt tells Janet about the state he found me in this morning. I don't know why I care what they think so much. Maybe because Andrea is one of my only friends and I really don't want her parents to dislike me anymore than they probably already do.

  I listen to the drops of rain as they hit the roof. At first they start out slow and light but quickly morph into a heavy rainfall that drowns out everything around me. Snuggling deeper into the blanket, I try to push away the memory of Bentley but try as I may, I can't do it. When I open my eyes I see him. When I close my eyes, I see him. And now I know what a horrible mistake I have made. Bentley may get his fill of me but what happens if I can't get my fill of him?

  ****

  “Do you really have to leave?” Andrea whines from her spot on the bed as I pack up the rest of my belongings.

  “Non refundable ticket.” I remind her. “Trust me, if I could stay, I would.” I say, turning to face her. “I am in no rush to go back to Chicago.”

  “Then don't. I will buy you a new plane ticket.” She says, pouting out her lower lip.

  “You gonna get me a new job too when I get fired for not coming back?” I ask, laughing when her pout turns into a full on frown that makes her entire face sag downwards. “It's only five more weeks.” I reassure her. “Five more weeks and you will be back on campus with me. Besides, you have a certain someone that I am sure will distract you.”

  “I know.” She sighs, smiling to herself.

  “Wow.” I laugh, watching my best friend immediately morph into a teenage school girl with stars in her eyes. “That smile after one date.” I say, shaking my head slowly at her, a wide smile pulling up the corners of my mouth.

  “Shut up. It's not like that.” She interjects. “Besides, he leaves next week and then he will be back in California and practically a world away from me.”

  “Then I suggest you make the rest of this week something to remember.” I raise my eyebrows up and down at her breaking the seriousness of the moment as we both burst out in laughter.

  “I'm going to miss you.” She says, standing and crossing the space of the room to wrap me in her arms.

  “Me too.” I say, squeezing her back.

  “Make sure you keep me posted on the whole Bentley thing.” She says, still having no idea that I know about her involvement.

  I thought about confronting her. Hell, it took everything I had not to. But at the end of the day, I didn't want to make her feel bad so I decided to just let it be. I can't really be mad at her anyways. Bentley Reed is a hard man to tell no, no matter what he's asking for.

  “I will.” I promise, stepping out of her embrace to throw my duffel bag over my shoulder. “I will text you as soon as I land.” I pull her in for another quick hug, before grabbing my suitcase and pulling it behind me out of the bedroom.

  She walks me to the front door and hugs me two more times before finally letting me climb into the backseat of the town car, leaving me to ride to the airport alone as Seth and Janet insisted that Andrea join them for dinner. Waving like a lunatic, I watch my best friend disappear through the rear view mirror of the car as we leave the resort, for the first time realizing just how hard it's going to be to get through these next few weeks without her.

  Vermont was not the trip I expected. I thought I would come here, clear my head, spend some quality time with my best friend and then return home feeling refreshed and back to my old self again. Clearly, that didn't happen and as the trees and the beauty of Vermont pass by me in a blur, all I can think about is how much more complicated things have become during my time away.

  It doesn't help matters that Bentley left the way he did or that an entire day and night has passed since then and I have hea
rd nothing out of him. I'm not sure what I expected and honestly, the fact that it even bothers me to begin with is worrisome.

  The day I start caring about what Bentley Reed is doing or the fact that I haven't heard from him, is the day that I know I am in severe trouble. Problem is, I am fairly certain that day has already come and I am submerged much deeper than I had originally feared.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  It's been over a week since I returned home from my trip to see Andrea and each day since then has creeped by with an uncertain weight holding me down. My twenty second birthday is quickly approaching and with it brings my date with Bentley.

  Though I have yet to hear a thing from him, I can only assume that the plan has not changed, considering I still have the dress and the ticket and specific instructions to meet him at 7pm on the 29th. Tonight.

  I have considered not going a million times. I have envisioned how he would react if I just didn't show up. Would he wait for me? Would he go in and enjoy the show without me? Would he come looking for me? And while in my head, every scenario turns out differently, deep down I feel like I don't really have a choice to let any of them play out.

  I have to go. Not for Bentley, but for myself. The way things were left in Vermont has eaten at me for days and I am not the type of girl that lets things eat at her, at least not where men are concerned. I need closure. I need to move past this situation.

  But more than that, I really just want to see him again. I can make excuses, lie to myself even. But at the end of the day, I know myself and I know that Bentley Reed has more of a hold on me than even I am willing to admit.

  Drying my hair with a towel, I stare at the beautiful cream gown draped across my bed. I imagine Bentley's face when he sees me in it. I imagine what his hands would feel like against my body as he removes it.

  Turning away from the bed, I take a deep breath and try to pull myself together. I can't ever remember a time I was this nervous. Even during big recitals where I had full song solos, I didn't feel the nerves that I feel right now. Every inch of my body is wound tight and my stomach is knotted so badly, I feel like I might vomit at any minute.

  Approaching the floor length mirror in my room, I stare back at myself in my barely there cream colored thong and breast petals. I know I am going to feel naked under the dress but with the way it's cut, anything more than this would be hanging out all evening.

  Grabbing my make up bag, I spend the next few minutes applying a light layer of product. Not too much, as I want to keep a natural look, but enough to really highlight my eyes and brighten my cheeks.

  Deciding to wear my hair down, I run a quick blow dry through it and then wrap it in rollers, allowing it to sit for a few minutes before pulling them out and watching the large waves bounce around my shoulders. After playing with it for a few minutes and taming each piece into perfect position, I retrieve the dress from my bed and hold it up in front of myself.

  While it is beautiful and I don't want to seem ungrateful for such an amazing gift, I have to admit that for whatever reason, it's just not me. I don't know why I feel that way. Maybe it's the color or the fact that I know it costs more than anything I have ever owned before.

  Regardless, I take a deep breath and step into the silky fabric, pulling it up and adjusting the straps off of my shoulders before stepping back and taking a good look at myself in the mirror. The dress fits me perfectly, hugging each curve just right and accenting my slim frame.

  I trail my hands down my torso, loving the feeling of the material under my fingers. Crossing the room to my dresser, I slip on the pearl earrings Patty let me borrow and grab my heels from beside my bed. I am set to meet Bentley in just over thirty minutes and it takes me at least twenty to reach the city so I know I need to get going.

  I pause in front of the mirror again, willing myself to walk out the door but not quite ready to take that step just yet. “You can do this.” I say aloud, for the first time allowing myself to really take in my appearance. I can't remember a time when I have looked so elegant before and honestly, it's almost like seeing a stranger in the mirror.

  Turning away from my reflection, I peel open my bedroom door and set off down the hall, thankful that Patty is not home from the studio yet. At least this way I am able to avoid an awkward conversation that I am sure would take place in regards to Bentley. Somethings I can talk to Patty about with no reservations. Unfortunately, men is not one of those things.

  Slipping on my heels, I grab my keys off of the kitchen counter before heading to the door, switching off all of the lights before stepping outside and locking the door behind me. The minute I turn, I freeze in place.

  Bentley's eyes catch me immediately and I have to physically force myself not to falter. He's dressed in an all black suit, his hair is still the stylish mess that I love but somewhat more tame at the same time. He looks every bit of the powerful sexy man that he is and I simply am not prepared for what it feels like to see him like this.

  Butterflies erupt in my stomach as he smiles widely in my direction and peels open the passenger side door of his black sports car, gesturing for me to get in. It feels like several slow moments pass before my feet finally begin to move and I cross the short distance of the sidewalk to where he is standing.

  “You look incredible.” He says the moment I reach him, my skin prickling as his eyes trail the length of my body before finding my face again.

  “So do you.” I manage to get out through the lump that has formed hard and tight in the center of my throat.

  “Shall we?” He asks, tilting his head towards the open door. Without a word, I nod and then climb into the passenger side, my backside sinking low into the leather bucket seats of the car.

  Closing my door, I watch Bentley cross behind the car in my side mirror before he peels open the drivers side door and slides in next to me, firing the engine to life on a deep purr that causes the seat below me to vibrate lightly.

  “I thought I was meeting you there?” I question, turning slightly to look at his powerful profile as he pulls the car out of the driveway and down the deserted back street that Patty lives on.

  “I owe you from the last time.” He says, immediately reminding me of our first night together and the fact that he sent a driver to pick me up rather than doing it himself.

  “I see.” I say, tangling my fingers together as I stare at the stretch of road in front of us. “Well you really didn't need to come all this way.” I say, honestly just trying to make small talk. Normally I have no problem talking to men. But then again, I have never really felt anything for a man before either so I guess you could say that I am in unfamiliar territory and honestly, I'm terrified.

  “I wanted to.” He says, turning slightly to smile at me before turning his attention forward again.

  Letting my eyes travel the interior of the car, it's clear to see that Bentley picked a car that is just as powerful as it is beautiful, very much like the man himself. Feeling the nervous energy creep up my back, I struggle not to fidget or seem too out of place. Needing something to fill the air, I reach towards the center console and stop just inches from the radio controls.

  “Do you mind?” I ask, waiting for his response before tapping the radio on and letting out a long sigh when the bluesy music fills the small space. “Jazz?” I question, turning slightly to see a small smile pull up his lips.

  “My mother's doing.” He laughs lightly. “My uncle Tony used to play the saxophone and my mom would drag me to all these little Jazz clubs he used to play at when I was a child. Some of my fondest memories.” He says, my heart kicking up a notch at the personal information he just so willingly volunteered without me having to ask.

  “Does he still play?” I ask, desperate to keep the conversation going. I don't know what it is but I want to know everything there is to know about the mysterious man next to me. Up to this point, he has shared very little about his personal life and while I understand him wanting to keep his private life priva
te, I still long to be someone he feels like he can open up to.

  “No.” He says, his eyes touching mine for a fraction of a second before refocusing on the road. “He died when I was fifteen.” He says, his face expressionless.

  “I'm so sorry.” I start, but he silences me by resting his hand on mine and squeezing my fingers gently.

  “Don't be. It was a long time ago and he had been sick for a couple years prior to that. Cancer.” He answers the question before I can even ask it.

  “And your mom, does she still go to Jazz clubs?” I ask.

  “Not since Tony died. But if you stop by and visit her, during the day I mean.” He throws me a teasing smile. “Then it is very likely she will have it playing on the old record player.”

  “Record player?” I question.

  “Woman is obsessed with vinyls.” He laughs like he doesn't understand it. “She says nothing sounds as clear and crisp as it does by putting the record on and letting it spin.” He laughs again.

  “She seems lovely.” I add, trying to hide my embarrassment over the fact that I have already met her and how that whole situation came to be.

  “She is.” He glances my way again. “Maybe one day you can meet her properly.” He looks back at the road just in time to miss the shocked expression that crosses my face.

  “I... I would love that.” I stutter through my response trying to process his words. Did he really just invite me to officially meet his mom or am I seriously reading way too much into this? Taking a deep breath, I turn my attention out the window.

 

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