by Amy Gregory
Copyright © 2020 by Amy Gregory
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is coincidental.
This book contains content that may not be suitable for young readers 17 and under.
The Author of this Book has been granted permission by Robyn Peterman to use the copyrighted characters and/or worlds created by Robyn Peterman in this book. All copyright protection to the original characters and/or worlds of the Magic and Mayhem series is retained by Robyn Peterman.
Contents
Foreword
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
About the Author
Also by Amy Gregory
Chapter 1
Jenny Von Zuzle sneezed again. She blew out a breath and dabbed a tissue at the corners of her teary eyes. Her childhood home didn’t look much different from the others on the block. Like most homes in Assjacket, West Virginia, it was a bit run-down on the outside, just enough to look perfectly vacant. However, her father had turned the inside into one gigantic maze, one that accumulated dust faster than anything she’d ever seen.
Every room, every nook and cranny, every cupboard was filled with books of every subject and every genre. He’d personally created Assjacket’s own library and was proud to offer anything their friends might want to read. As long as they could find it. When she was younger, she’d attempted to organize the chaos. It never lasted more than a few days before the floor was littered with stacks of books completely unalphabetized. Johnathan Von Zuzle IV insisted that he knew every book in his possession and its whereabouts. Jenny knew he simply snapped his fingers, and the title appeared in his hand.
She stared at the white sand beach, the blue water, and a line of hotels on the pages of the travel guide. Jenny sat on one of the few bare spots of floor available, the book spread open across her lap. As time had passed, the sun moved, shining through the stained-glass window of what should be a dining room. The colors danced over the stacks of books piled on what most would call a table—it did have visible legs—although she’d never eaten a meal in this room in her entire life. Instead, she was more like her father, following Alice down the rabbit hole, falling in love a thousand times over, fighting pirates, and traveling—the only way she knew how.
If she weren’t so incredibly terrified to transport, maybe she’d be able to walk barefoot across the beach in the picture she was holding. Inhaling, Jenny dreamed of the beautiful island, then sighed. She’d never know what it was like. She’d never see a palm tree in person, hear the ocean waves for herself. Panic started to set in just thinking about leaving the only town she’d ever known.
Another bout of sneezing set in, and she grabbed the book, knowing she had to get back to her own home.
“Dad?”
She stood quietly, listening for footsteps, gauging where he might be among the giant web of walls, shelves, and heaps of reading materials.
“Dad, I’m going home,” she said more loudly.
Grinning to herself, Jenny made her way toward the front door. His mind was lost in a book, something else she was used to. Growing up, she hadn’t been ignored. Instead, she’d been gifted with the best storyteller imaginable, one who taught her to appreciate books and read everything she could get her hands on. Theirs was a simple relationship. He was a quiet, loving man, who only needed to be reminded of mealtimes. Thanks to the hundreds of cookbooks he also owned, she’d taught herself at a young age how to bake, experiment with flavors, and keep them both fed.
“I’ll see you at the diner later?”
Jenny didn’t wait for any confirmation he was alive before pulling the front door shut behind her.
* * *
Joshua Englewoodie was simply bored out of his skull. Coming from his bedroom suite, he threw himself over the back of the couch in the informal living area, flopped onto the soft cushions, and stared at the ceiling of the wing he claimed as his own in his parents’ mansion.
He had worked from home, correction, his parents’ home, from the day he graduated college. Years prior to going to college, Joshua knew he wanted to join his father Lincoln Englewoodie’s firm. Being a high-stakes Realtor for the rich and famous had so many perks, how could he not want the dream job?
A few decades in, however, things had become stale. The celebrities changed as their mortal world kept three hundred and sixty-five days a year in true perspective. Yet, the lifestyle never went out of vogue. Excursion travel and hunting down and finding the hidden gems their clients dreamed of had been his niche, and Joshua was proud his father boasted that as a selling point of their services. Still, over the years, life had become monotonous.
His only real fun came when he was jetting off to gorgeous islands, quaint little European towns, and to each of the fifty states the US had to offer for his own enjoyment. His father’s motto was “work hard, play harder,” something Joshua took very seriously.
“What’s wrong, honey?” His mother’s voice startled him.
“When did you get home? I thought you and Dad were in Italy for the month?” he asked.
“Oh, we arrived just a few minutes ago. You know, transporting can take so long, I swear, five minutes from there to Vermont is just ridiculously long. I simply do not know how mere mortals can even tolerate hours of that tedious crap fest they call travel. I’d never leave my house if I had to exist like a caveman.”
“Mother, your life is but one long series of tribulations, isn’t it?” Joshua chuckled.
Nola Englewoodie studied her reflection in one of the many mirrors in their home and fluffed her already perfect silver hair. “You do understand me, don’t you, son? So, what seems to be your trouble? You look, I don’t know…” She waved her hand, clearly searching for the word. “Off. Or are you simply in need of some entertainment?”
This was exactly why he’d never moved out. His parents understood him perfectly, plus they were never home much, what with all their own exotic adventures.
“I am.”
“So what would your father tell you to do?”
“If you’re not happy, do something to change it. But I’ve been everywhere I want to go, some places a gazillion times. I—”
His mother cut him off. “You need a partner.”
Joshua sat up, stared at his mother, completely dumbfounded by the gargantuan statement she’d just tossed out into the air as if it were simply normal. Him? Settle down? A partner? A witch? Joshua felt chills race down his spine at the thought. Images of a crying witch—or worse, a pissed-off witch—and being told he couldn’t walk out the door, of phone calls asking him where he was, of hearing tears as he walked out the door to go camping with his three best friends flooded his mind.
“Oh, Mother, no, no, no, no way in Goddess’s fiery pit of hellaciousness is that shit happening. Not to me. You and Dad are great, but do you know how hard it is these days to find someone you’d like t
o be around for more than twenty years? The thought of eternity, oh my Goddess, hundreds of years with the same person, day in and day out, fuck a duck—no. Not me. I’ve got things to do, places to be, and I’m be sure as shittin’ bricks on a hot tin roof not letting any witch stand in my way.”
“Well, if it’s not your charming personality that will keep a good woman away, it’ll be your fantastically romantic way with words, darling. You have nothing to worry about. I love you because you’re my son and I have to. But with that attitude, no one else will.”
His mother smirked behind the hand she held in front of her while pretending to study her blood-red nails. “Thanks, Mom. I think?”
“All I am saying is you had your century of being a bachelor. You’re restless now. And there’s one thing that will cure that. Finding someone to lo—”
“Do not finish that word, Mother.”
“Love! Love, love, love, love, love.” Nola laughed as she walked away toward the kitchen.
Joshua flung himself back down on the pristine white couch. His mother was an amazing decorator; however, she had no idea what she was talking about when it came to his love life. Or lack thereof—and the fact he wanted to maintain the status quo to infinity and possibly beyond.
Of his three best friends, Victor had a shifter girlfriend who was a beyond the biggest bitch Joshua had ever come across. According to Vic, the upside was she had a tongue that did things so magical, it was worth putting up with her. Duke was still as single as he was, and in no rush either, though he did live on his own, at least. It was Bill Wilder that his mother referred to as the perfect example most often. Hints which involved a daughter-in-law and grandbabies—plural.
So what if Bill had found the perfect witch? So what if Bill had moved to some Goddess-forsaken place down South, where they probably all talked with a gagging drawl? His college friend had invited him countless times to his new home to visit and to meet the woman who had changed his life. Joshua knew she was originally from their hometown of Hollytown, yet hadn’t enjoyed the wonderful childhood Joshua had been afforded by his parents. Her wicked warlock of a father had kept her under his thumb so tight, even Bill’s closest friends were never afforded the chance to meet her until she and Bill moved miles away.
He sat up on the couch and pulled his cell out of the front pocket of his dress pants. He gazed around the lavish room. Every item gleamed, not a thing out of place. A few family pictures were scattered among the shelves—always magazine-shoot ready. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows, he surveyed the property, completely covered in gardens bursting with color and perfectly manicured hedges for as far as the eye could see. Joshua sighed. It was a very tranquil home. Maybe it was why he was always ready to escape and find excitement, variety, and people laughing and talking, a change from the hushed staff who bustled about the house and grounds working for his parents.
Glancing down at his phone, he let his finger hover over the screen for several seconds. He sent the text before he could change his mind, then cringed.
“Shit-a-cricket, what did I just do?” he mumbled to himself, raking his fingers through his hair.
Chapter 2
“Here you go, Jenny.” Wanda handed her some folded bills. “This is for last week, but are you sure you have enough time to double up on the brownies and make an extra couple of apple pies all by Saturday’s lunch rush?”
“I really don’t like accepting that, Wanda.” Jenny shook her head. “It’s not right. Y’all allow me to do what I love and not have the food go to waste.”
Wanda grabbed Jenny’s hand and pressed the money into it. “And how long can you afford to buy ingredients if you don’t get paid?”
“But you always give me the entire price you charge the customers. At least keep the profit for you and DeeDee. Please? I love working here at Assjacket Diner. I feel guilty taking extra money home.”
“Don’t argue with your elders, dear. It’s not proper,” DeeDee said with a wink as she walked by carrying a gray tub of dirty dishes. The swinging doors squeaked on their hinges as she passed through them.
Jenny watched until the squeaking stopped. She’d practically grown up in this diner. She’d helped Wanda and DeeDee the minute she was tall enough to reach the register—per their rule. Prior to that, she’d happily filled ketchup bottles and stocked the tables with salt, pepper, and sugar packets.
She tucked the cash in the back pocket of her jeans, rolling her eyes at Wanda. “I’m never going to win this money argument, am I?”
The older shifter grinned. “Nope. So stop insulting us. It’s just a damn good thing you witches have such a crazy fast metabolism, or we’d need to have Mac build Assjacket a gym.” She nodded toward the coffee machine. “Do you have anything you need to add to my order for next week? Coffee, creamers, anything?”
She pulled the black book from her apron and opened it up. Cash on one side, her order pad on the right, Jenny handed a piece of scratch paper to Wanda.
“You ordered plenty of everything else last week. But Roger must have had a rough week. He was in every morning and afternoon, so we’re low on the peppermint creamer he loves so much. Other than that, we’re good to go.”
“You’re the best, Jenny. I’ll have it for Roger by tomorrow at three p.m. Now you go, take that book about Hawaii home, put your feet up, and relax. And, dear, you really should consider finally taking a vacation. You’re young and single, and it’s beautiful there.”
Jenny felt the panic constrict her breathing as her heart started racing at the mere thought. There was no way she could take a plane. She couldn’t afford to add extra expenses to a vacation when all she had to do was transport for free. The hotel and food would eat up any savings she had accumulated. There was also no way she could tell anyone she was deathly scared to leave her small town.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Wanda took the piece of paper and went on about her business. The dinner rush had been the same crowd as expected, her father included. Jenny had sold every cookie and brownie she’d brought in, plus almost both pies were gone. All she had left to do was cash out and leave her tickets and the diner’s money in the small safe on the shelf under the register.
“Damn it,” she whispered to herself as she counted her tickets and made notes for Wanda and DeeDee.
She’d put the book under the counter with her wallet and phone, right by the safe. No wonder Wanda knew it was hers. So much for being in the clear. Her father hadn’t even mentioned it was missing when she’d spoken to him at dinner. She exchanged her belongings on the shelf, folding her apron up for tomorrow.
“Well, fuck a duck,” Jenny mumbled as she opened the door to the fresh air and setting sun. She had a car, but her small home was a quick stroll from the diner, so most days, she walked everywhere she needed to go. Except for Zelda and Mac’s house, anywhere Jenny needed to go was within a one-mile radius of her home.
* * *
“No, Bill, really, it’s not a bother. I can get a hotel. I don’t want to put you and Lessy out.” Joshua tried for a third time to get that through his best friend’s thick head.
He heard some shuffling on the other end of the line and a female voice in the distance. Failing miserably at multitasking, Joshua spun his white leather desk chair away from his laptop and the spreadsheet he was screwing up while trying to make plans to visit West Virginia.
“Was that Lessy? Did I hear her correctly? Your town doesn’t have a resort, a hotel? Not even a bed-and-breakfast?”
His visions of a countryside cabin in the quiet small town vanished. He forgot most of the immortal world lived in such places as Assjacket, hidden away in plain sight. Mortals either didn’t know about those towns or didn’t choose to stop at such dilapidated little blips on the radar when passing them on the highway. Places that weren’t even on the maps of people who measured time in days, months, and years with an absolute end to life as they knew it.
Joshua understood he was lucky to live a l
avish lifestyle among those who were not like himself, and he’d been taught to blend in perfectly with the mere mortals he did business with or saw while traveling. His magic was completely controlled, never used around the house for simple things such as cleaning his room. Their staff would suspect something, a risk his father absolutely forbade. It was the one hard and fast rule his parents had pressed upon him early on. The older Joshua became, the wiser he was about the reasons behind it.
He preferred living out in the open, with gorgeous homes, cars, tailors, five-star restaurants, and delicious bakeries. His one true downfall? Coffee. He was an absolute coffee snob, and he’d rather drink a disgusting Goddess-forsaken soda than the tar some places tried to pass off as his much-needed liquid octane. Only organic whole beans freshly roasted and ground before each cup and coconut milk steamed and frothed to perfection with a drizzle of caramel syrup over the top for him.
His coffee infatuation was the one place in his life where his parents allowed magic to seep in, but only since he had commercial-grade machines in both his bedroom suite and his home office, to keep up the show for the staff, of course. If he was alone, he could simply snap his fingers and have the steaming mug appear in his palms. It was a complete pain in his ass if he actually had to make it by hand. And the caramel… Too little was gross, and too much… He’d thrown out more than one mug of coffee because he’d had a heavy hand while pouring it.
* * *
As there were no hotels or resorts in Assjacket, there was absolutely no way in Goddess’s blood-orange fiery pit of hell he could go an entire day without a perfect cup of caffeine. Bill was so excited, Joshua could hear it in the other man’s voice. How could he back out on him now? He’d brushed his friend off for business and travel so many times, he really was starting to feel like the asshole others claimed him to be. He’d simply forgotten all about the lifestyle change Bill and Lessy had adopted. For him, it was the equivalent of an episode of one of those shows about leaving a large home and moving into a place the size of a shoebox. Joshua shuddered at the mental picture.