Dad takes my plate and I say to Hadley and Finn, “I thought we could go out somewhere. Dash has a place he wants to take us to, since he’s in the know of good bars. Though, I don’t think you want to go to a strip joint.” I glance at Finn and he quickly grins until Hadley looks at him, in which he drops his smile like a stolen bag of money.
Hadley narrows her eyes at Finn with suspicion, but is met with his innocent expression in return. Seemingly satisfied, she then turns to me. “Good ole’ Dash,” she says with a small laugh. “He’s so cute.”
“Who’s Dash?” Finn cautiously asks.
With a grin between mouthfuls of garlic bread, I inform him, “One of my best friends who has been crushing on your girlfriend for years.”
“Uh, really?” Finn’s forehead wrinkles, and his gaze darts to the table. Finn usually seems happy when I’ve been around him, but right now, he’s definitely not. Does he think Dash is an actual threat? Isn’t Finn Wilder a confident guy? He should have zero worries about losing my sister to Dash Calder. From what my dad has shown me of Finn’s dares, Finn has major balls. Dash and his marbles can’t compete with him.
Besides that, I refuse to have Dash as my brother-in-law. That would also scar me for life.
She argues, “No, he doesn’t.”
As my dad hands my plate back to me, I solemnly propose, “You want to put money on that?”
Her face scrunches. “Ugh. Now this will be awkward.”
I ask, “Why? Dash has always liked you. He’s still the same, annoying Dash Calder.”
“He’s not going to try to make a move on her, is he?” Finn questions, his jaw and the veins in his neck twitching.
Picking up my fork, I reply, “Calm down. Trust me. He’s no threat. He just likes her from afar.”
Not that I don’t know anything about doing that myself, either.
I continue, “And he’s an elementary school gym teacher, so really. I suppose she could have it worse. My other bud, Rio, is a physician assistant at a gynecology office.” I shake my head, laughing. “You don’t want to hear what we call him.”
“No, we don’t,” Dad says with another sigh.
“I think Finn’s best friend trumps both of yours,” Hadley says.
I aim my attention to Finn. “What’s he do?”
Finn shrugs, picking at his dinner. “Ricky’s a Richmond cop.”
I lean back in my chair. “Oh. Yeah. I guess he does. Rio and Dash are criminals waiting to happen.”
Hadley asserts, “Well, Dash is funny, but not my type.”
Finn smiles again as he looks at Hadley, more self-assured this time. “Oh, yeah? What is your type?”
She coyly smiles at him. “I love sportscasters who moonlight as daredevils.”
He raises an eyebrow, gazing knowingly at her. “Just any?”
My sister bites her smiling, bottom lip before saying, “There might be one I have in mind.”
Gaping at the nauseating display across from me, I set my fork back down, so I don’t choke on my food. They’re giving each other a look that clearly screams fuck me this second.
I loudly clear my throat, impatiently asking, “So are you both in or not for tomorrow night?” I wish there were still a TV in my room that I can use to drown the sounds I’ll be hearing in Hadley’s room tonight.
“Oh.” Hadley briefly looks at me and then back to her fuck buddy. “Would you want to go out?”
He fleetingly glances down, licks his lip, and shrugs before he looks at her. “Yeah.”
What was that about? Does he have a bar phobia?
Hadley then asks, “Are you coming with us, Dad?”
As Dad grabs a piece of garlic bread, he regards my sister as if she’s nuts, as do I. “No, but I’ll come pick you up if you all need a ride.”
“You should come with us.” What the fuck is she doing?
He laughs. “I’ll stay home. I’m not going to hang out with my kids and cramp their style.”
“We’re not kids anymore,” she disputes. Shut up, Hadley!
“You’re still my kids,” he insists. “That’ll never change, no matter how old you are. You’ll see. When you and Finn get married and have kids together, you’ll feel the same way. They’ll always be your babies.”
Dad smiles at Hadley and Finn. While she responds with a shy smile and glances down to her food, Finn’s reaction is totally the opposite. He instantly freezes, his forkful of food not making it to his mouth. After a few seconds, he anxiously bites his lip, squinting at his food, looking like he’s in pain.
Maybe this entire dinner is making him sick, as well. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Hadley sneaks a look at her horrified boyfriend, but seems oblivious that he’s having some kind of covert breakdown. Is it because of Dad’s marriage and babies remark? If aimed at me, I’d be the one having a fucking breakdown right now, throwing chairs and food, so if it’s that, he’s taking it rather well. If it’s not, are he and Hadley having problems? From what I’ve seen so far, they don’t look like they’re on the verge of a split. A few minutes ago, they looked like they wanted to rip each other’s clothes off and fuck on the table. Christ.
I don’t know if Hadley is aware, but there’s something going on with Finn Wilder, underneath his confident façade that he doesn’t want people to know.
I guess he and I have more in common than I thought.
Hadley asks, “So, Jared, are you dating anyone?” What the fuck is that shit?
I swiftly frown. “No. Are you?”
“Ha. Ha,” she says and then laughs, elbowing Finn, who quirks up a half-smile, but he’s not fooling me. He couldn’t care less what was just said. He’s still engrossed with whatever is going on in his head right now.
I oddly feel sorry for the guy, since I know what it’s like to feel helpless in front of people you don’t want to have to explain yourself to.
Assuming that it was my dad’s comments that he’s thinking about, I try distracting Finn. I say to Hadley, “Well, if you aren’t dating anyone, I know someone who will.”
She scoffs, “Even if I were single, I already said Dash isn’t my type. Aside from that, I’m too old for him.”
“Old? You’ll only be 33 in November. What? You have an age limit for the people you hang out with?”
“No. One of my closest friends is 26 and I still talk to him, so that blows your theory out of the water.”
“Him? Finn do you know about her friend?” He looks at me over the rim of his glass, but doesn’t stop to answer me.
Hadley answers, “Greg is my coworker and yes, Finn knows him.”
I laugh and shrewdly nod, widening my eyes. “Oh. Work husband.”
Finn carefully sets his water down, and I notice he’s grinding his teeth as he intently stares at the table, evidently not in the mood for making any comments of his own on the subject.
Dad says, “Jared, quit teasing your sister. I’m also sure Finn doesn’t appreciate it.”
“Finn isn’t a jealous boyfriend, anyway. He has nothing to worry about.” Hadley leans into his arm and asks, “Right, baby?”
He clears his throat and gruffly says, “Yeah.” However, still holding onto his drink like it’s filled with helium, Finn’s grip tightens over the slick condensation so much that I think he could crack the glass.
One thing is apparent: Hadley doesn’t know shit about her boyfriend.
Like fuck he’s not jealous. Doesn’t she see it? He may not overtly say it to her, but he’s clearly showing it.
One thing isn’t for certain, though: Is he merely jealous of the mention of Dash earlier, or is it the other guy who’s getting to him more?
Dad says, “Jared, I’ll take Hadley to Brenda’s tomorrow to introduce her. Why don’t you take the day off and take Finn down to the marina?”
“For what?”
Dad gives me an impatient look. “Fishing. I have poles in the garage. I’ll even pay for your temporary licenses.”
“Oh. Yeah.” I say to Finn, “Want to go?”
He faintly nods. “Okay.”
“Just be warned, Wilder, if you catch more fish than me, I’ll push you off the pier. Ask Dash Calder.”
Finn’s eyes widen and I mirror his expression before taking a bite.
Shit. He’s easy, too.
After dinner, we all clean up, with Hadley and I doing our traditional dishwasher routine, Finn clearing the table, and Dad putting the food away. It doesn’t escape my notice that Dad and Finn both keep checking the clock, undoubtedly not wanting to miss their precious baseball game.
Finn hasn’t said much, looking deep in thought. For me, that dinner was the most I’ve talked since being home.
Leaving Hadley and me to park ourselves on the opposite ends of the coffee table, Dad and Finn go downstairs, where the larger TV resides.
“What now?” Hadley asks, turning on the TV and flipping through the channel guide.
Leaning back into the only new furniture my dad has bought since Hadley and I were kids, I prop my feet on the coffee table, crossing my bare legs at the ankle. “I don’t know.”
Hadley gets up, and says, “I’ll be right back.” She goes downstairs and I jump up to steal the remote, trying to find anything to watch, figuring she ended up burying her face in Finn’s lap or something. Kind of awkward around our dad, but whatever.
As I settle back into my chair, she comes up the stairs with a rattling sound. “Look what I found.”
Looking away from the TV, I see the red and blue Battleship games we used to play. Dropping my legs from the table, I sit up, surprised that my dad hung onto the games.
She hands me the blue one with the faded Jared I had written at the top in black marker. I can’t help the sudden smile as she sits back down.
“You’re going down, little brother.”
“Promises, promises,” I say with a laugh, as I open the blue case and start setting up my ships. “Funny how I’m not so little anymore.”
“A technicality that is easily overturned,” she muses, working intently on placing her own ships.
While I wait for her to finish, I ask, “Has Finn stayed the night here before?”
She looks up from her red case. “Yeah. One other time. Why?”
Sitting back and propping my legs again, I answer her question with another. “Did Dad make him sleep on the pull-out?”
She shifts to tuck her legs underneath her. “No. I had asked Dad before we came up if he was going to have a problem with Finn sleeping in my room. Dad wasn’t thrilled, but he didn’t argue. Anyway, Finn only stayed one night because he had to leave for a work assignment outside of Philadelphia that Saturday afternoon, so we had brought both of our cars and he just left from here.”
I nod at my game board. “Does he have to go away a lot?”
“He doesn’t often have to go too far, but he does have to be on different locations in his viewing area for most of his broadcasts.”
“Does he have a set schedule?”
She ruefully frowns. “Not really, except for Fridays. I only get to see him on the weekends.”
“Why? You can’t see each other after work on the weekdays?”
“He does a good deal of the night broadcasts and we live on the opposite ends of Richmond. I actually live outside of Richmond in Montrose, so we just wait for the weekends, when I don’t have to work.”
“Why don’t you just move in together?”
She hesitates before saying, “He asked me to move in with him, but it’s further for me with work.”
I disbelievingly laugh. “That sounds like a lame excuse, sis. What about him moving in with you, or you both finding another apartment together?”
“You sound like Finn.” She bows her head over her board and mumbles, “I really don’t want to just live together.”
It dawns on me what she means. “You want to get married?”
She nods and guardedly looks at me as she plays with her ponytail. “He has told me before he doesn’t want to get married. He doesn’t like talking about it.”
With a confused gawk, I shake my head. “Then why are you still holding out for that?”
Hadley glances back down to her game. “Because I’m hoping he’ll change his mind.”
“You’ve been together for how long now?”
“Two years.”
I have to chuckle. “Finn isn’t going to change his mind.”
She raises her head; a panicked look falls upon her face. “How do you know that?”
I shrug. “It’s a guy thing. If he says he doesn’t want to do something, he’s not going to do it.” Hadley quickly looks away, sucking on her bottom lip. Christ. I don’t want her to cry.
This is why she needs to quit hoping for marriage. It’s wrong for her to want something that’s not going to—and shouldn’t—happen. If she wants to stay with him, she needs to stop expecting him to change his mind. He won’t. Finn is just like me in that regard, except that he’s in a long-term relationship. However, he needs to stick by his decision, even if that means ending it with my sister now, before he leads her into a darkness she may never escape.
Not getting married is the best choice, therefore, he’d better not break her heart by leading her on, or making promises that he’ll never fulfill. If that’s the situation, they have no business being together.
As she stares at the wall, chewing her lip and trying to calm her breathing, I say, “He’s offering to live with you. Why can’t you be happy with that?”
She swallows a couple times before clearing her throat, her eyes back on her game. “It’s not a real commitment. Yes, we’d have to learn to live with each other’s quirks and habits, but there’s nothing really to keep him working on our relationship.”
“Why would you want to risk it?”
She finally looks at me. “Because I love him, Jared. I want to be his wife. I want the world to know I’m his and he’s mine. In public, he doesn’t acknowledge that he has a girlfriend and I’ve never even met any of his coworkers. I doubt they know I exist. We hardly ever go out, and if we do, it’s out of the viewing area. Other than that, we mostly stay in.”
More than bored with this conversation, I stare at the clear blue screen on the top half of my game case, and mutter, “I’m sure he has his reasons.”
“Jared! You’re actually defending him?”
I shrug. “You’re with him. Be happy. That’s all.”
She irritably asks, “Well, what about you? Are you happy?”
I blandly nod. “Yep.”
“Have you dated anyone recently?”
Still without looking up, I scoff, “No.”
“Why not?”
Shifting my gaze up to her, I counter with, “Why?”
“That brings me back to my question: why not?”
“Why do I need to date anyone to make me happy?”
“Because, when you find that someone—the one—it’s a feeling like none other.”
“And all you’ve done is complain about what your someone isn’t doing to make you happy.”
“I am happy. I just want more with him. I want it all with him.”
I frown at her crazy fantasy. “We can’t have it all.”
She scowls as she taps her finger on the top of her case. “You’re such a ball of hope.”
I sigh as I pick up one of my ships, twirling it. “I’m just realistic, Hadley. I don’t get my hopes up for shit. It’s pointless.”
Somewhat surprised by my answer, she doubtfully asks, “Don’t you believe in love?”
I watch the submarine moving between my fingers. “Nope.”
“Why are you like this?”
I glance back to her and sneer, “Not you, too. Like what?”
She asks, “Why? Who else has said something to you?”
“Dad, Rio, Dash, and now you.”
She lightly laughs. “Dash? Then it must be a real problem.”
“He’s a pussy.�
� I put the ship back on the game field and grumble, “Are we going to play? You can go first.”
“B1.”
“Miss.”
As she picks up a white peg, she says, “Why are you so…dark?”
“I’m not. I’m just practical.”
“No, you’re different.”
“Fuck. Now you sound like them.”
“I’m not saying it’s a recent change, but one that’s making you more bitter. Is it because of her?”
I lean my head back, shaking it emphatically. “Jesus. This gets so old. No. I’m not blaming her, or giving her any credit for any downward spiral that ensued. Can we just not ever talk about her again?”
Finn shouts, “Shit!” from downstairs and we both roll our eyes.
“Jared, you have to talk to someone about it.”
I glare at her. “Didn’t you just hear me?”
She untangles her blue-jeaned legs and leans forward. “Yeah, but you’re not hearing me. You’re not the only one who needs to talk about it.”
“Who? Dad?”
“Yeah, Dad, but he’s been seeing a shrink for years.” That genuinely surprises me.
“He has?”
“Yep. He didn’t tell you?” For some reason, I slightly feel like a prick.
“No.”
“I need to talk, Jared. Yes, I could get a shrink, too, but you’re my brother and we went through this together. We both lost our mother on her own volition. She wasn’t taken from us. She left. We could’ve died and she wouldn’t have known or cared.”
I close my eyes. “Hadley, I don’t…”
“I do. I need to.”
I sigh and shake my head. “It doesn’t solve anything. It just…”
“Hurts? I know it does.”
Opening my eyes, I look up at the ceiling instead. “Don’t you talk to Finn about…?”
“A little, but he doesn’t understand like you do.”
My gaze falls to her. “That’s the thing. I don’t. Shit. Can’t we just play the game and forget? C8.”
She sniffs and looks down at her ships. “Miss.” I grab a white peg and she sighs. “Jared, I’m so… It still hurts. Why can’t I let it go?”
“Because you keep wanting to talk about it. Your turn.”
The Keys to Jericho Page 13