“Finn, this shit doesn’t get to you?” He looks up from his drink, mystified, and I nod toward the exit.
“What?”
“Hadley and Dash?”
His lips doubtfully pull to one side. “Should it?”
“I thought Dash might be getting on your nerves.”
He shakes his head with an easy smile. “Dash is cool.”
Rio says, “Why in the fuck should Finn be jealous? Dash wouldn’t do anything shady, Jare. He can’t even dance. He’s going down there to keep an eye on them, since they’re drunk, in case anyone hassles them.”
I slur to Finn, “You like Dash because he thinks you and Hadley are white hot, and the soulmates bullshit, right? He does tell everyone that.”
He limply shrugs. “Maybe, but I don’t get jealous much.”
“You don’t care who touches Hadley? What about her work husband?”
Finn cringes. “Shit. Don’t call him that. He does get on my fucking nerves.”
“Are you jealous of him?”
He sighs up to the ceiling. “I want to say no, but he sees Hadley all the time, sometimes even after work. I guess I am jealous of that.” Finn leans his head against the wall and closes his eyes.
“You and Hadley have to work something out. That is fucking crazy.”
Opening his eyes, he mumbles, “I know, but your sister is…”
Rio interjects, “Stubborn as her brother? I completely believe that shit.”
“Piss off, Duquesne.”
Finn lowers his head, eagerly nodding in agreement, but carefully says, “So, what are you going to do?”
“About what?”
He sluggishly rolls his eyes. “Kat. I’m not an idiot, even drunk.”
Rio laughs. “I’m fucking sober over here, Beckett, and I see it.”
Finn says, “You’re into her, Jared. Big time.”
I shake my head, folding my arms. “I’m not.”
Rio looks at his watch and says, “Then you’re too drunk to see yourself drooling over her. I thought you were going to strip Kat’s clothes off when you were talking to her.”
Finn laughs with him and I ask, “What about you, Wilder? You were practically doing my sister in front of everyone.”
He shoves his drink-free hand into his hair. “You know how I feel about her. I don’t have anything to hide.”
“Oh, really? Because there’s plenty that you are hiding from her.”
He frowns and just as I guzzle the rest of my gin and tonic, someone slaps my arm. I dizzily look from my glass to the offender. “Calder, what the hell? You’re already on my shit list!” I snap, pushing his arm.
Dash laughs. “For that song? It was between that one and ‘Let’s Make Love.’ You got away with murder.”
Staring at him, I sit back, offhandedly shaking the remaining alcohol from the ice and lime. “Too bad it wasn’t your murder. You don’t understand how much I loathe you.”
Ignoring me, he says, “Come downstairs. Kat needs you.”
“Why?”
“Let’s go.” Dash yanks on me and I stumble to stand, leaving my glass on the table with a clatter. “Fuck, Dash. Why don’t you throw me down the stairs when we get there?”
“I’ve thought about it.”
I laugh as he pushes through the crowd. “You’re in a mood. Are you on your period, Dashiell?”
“Even drunk, you’re grouchy,” he bitches.
Before we even enter the louder room with the bigger dance floor, House of Pain’s “Jump Around” can be heard on the stairwell. That song. I’ll always have the image of Kat jumping to that song with her friends at one of the school dances, her tits bouncing with the jumps, and how much I wanted to hold them in my hands. The urge was so bad that I had to sit down because of the hard-on she gave me.
When we enter the thumping room, I notice a gigantic, brightly lit waterfall on the far end. The dance floor is speckled with different colored lights swirling around, making me dizzy as Dash begins to tow me to where I see my sister’s ponytail bobbing.
A few steps in and with the music even louder, I stop him. “What are you doing?”
“Jericho, next slow song, ask her to dance!”
“Hadley? My grandparents used to make us dance together! No, thanks!”
He noisily sighs. “No, not your sister! Kat!”
“No way!” Next to my sister, I see Kat dancing, and as I watch, I eagerly await the jumping part.
“We used to go to school dances together! Don’t even say you didn’t slow dance!”
I frown as I stare. “That was different!” I truly hate him.
“Bullshit! Do it!”
Without taking my eyes off Kat, I shout, “Shut up, Dash! I’m busy!”
“Doing what? Gawking at Kat? That’s why you should ask her to dance!”
“No!”
“You’re going to make me hold your hand to do this, too, aren’t you? Shit, you’re pigheaded!”
I swiftly look at him, scowling again. “And you’re a horse’s ass!”
Turning my attention back to the dance floor, I ridiculously grin as Kat starts jumping, even having more to bounce now, which isn’t good for me as I stand here with Dash.
“Do you want a bib?”
I irritably shove him, but like the gnat he is, he doesn’t leave.
As the song comes to the end, Dash catches Kat’s attention and waves at her, in which she smiles and walks over to us.
“Hey, Dash,” she says, trying not to notice I’m standing here.
He sighs again with an exasperated moan to the lights above us. He then says, “Kat Merrick, Jared Beckett wants to ask you something.”
“Jesus, Calder. I’m not in eighth grade.”
“Yeah. You wouldn’t have done this then, either.”
Kat looks at me with curiosity. “What is it, Jared?” Her shirt is disheveled from jumping, and the top of her black bra or tank top underneath can be seen. Hot damn.
The Cranberries’ “Linger” starts playing and I’m suddenly stumped about what I’m supposed to say.
“Fucking seriously?” Dash shouts. He pushes me, and already unbalanced, I easily move closer to Kat. He then takes my hand and puts it around her waist, before doing the same to my other one.
He orders, “Now, move!”
Dash disappears, which I’m glad because I feel so fucking tense holding Kat. Holding her is what I’ve been fantasizing of doing for years, but for some reason, I’m nervous and totally incompetent right now.
“This is awkward,” she says, which makes me smile for her having similar feelings about the situation. “I’m sorry. I did not help him plan this.”
I shrug, but feel anything but laidback. “We’re here now.” My hands are frozen in place on her waist, careful to not move them. We find a swaying rhythm and she tightens her hands around the back of my neck.
Kat nods and looks into my eyes, which makes me both anxious and fascinated. “Yeah. We haven’t danced together before. At the school dances, I had hoped you’d ask me, but you never did.” Huh? That statement has broadsided me. How did I not see that?
“Really? I didn’t think you wanted to dance with me.”
“Where’d you get that impression? I watched you dance with so many girls. I wanted to be one of them.”
“Then why didn’t you ask me?”
She shrugs. “Shy. I thought if you had wanted me to dance with you, then you would’ve asked.”
Blinking and looking away from her, I mutter, “Oh.” I don’t mention that I was trying to bait her during those dances, wanting her to ask me to dance, or to get some kind of reaction from her.
Licking my dry lips, I look to her, but my gaze falls to her open shirt again, wandering over the hint of black lace. “Is Dash taking you home tonight, too?”
“No. I’m waiting for Pete to get done later. He’ll take me home.”
“Who brought you?”
“My mom.” She suddenly looks
uneasy, and glances past me. “Actually, I don’t drive.”
“At all?”
She shakes her head. “I never got my driver’s license.”
I nearly stop moving us. “You’re kidding, right?” That class meant more to me than just a class, but I never could’ve imagined she didn’t take it as seriously as I did, on all accounts.
“No, I’m not. After my accident…” She sighs and moves her gaze to my chest. “I was terrified. Everyone has always understood and has gone out of their way to take me wherever I need to go. When I was married, my husband took me to the bus stop every day and picked me up.” My stomach inexplicably plummets.
“You were married?” I don’t know why that unsettles me so much.
She nods. “For two years. We weren’t ever really in love and when he was transferred, we ended our marriage. It was rather quiet and easy. Being on my own again, my mom offered to drive me to work, since it’s on the way for her. She’s never argued with me or pushed me to get my license, and maybe I’ve taken advantage of that.”
“You’ve never thought about getting your license? You took the class. It won’t be hard to pass the test.”
“I want to, but I feel strange having my mom help me, so I just haven’t.”
Madonna’s “Crazy for You” takes over and maybe from the alcohol, I relax, pulling Kat closer to me. Her breath on my chest from my shirt unbuttoned at the top, heats my entire body. Looking over her head to random people around us, my eyes briefly close as I swallow.
Kat tilts her head back. “I’ve missed you, Sonic. I think about you every day.”
I instantly look at her. “Why?”
“We used to be friends. Weren’t we?” My gaze falls to her tempting lips. I can’t stop staring at them, just like I used to do. And fuck, just like then, I want to kiss her. Genuinely kiss her, not some robotic act as I usually do, since I’ve been accused of being one.
I say, “We were.”
“Do you think we can be friends again?”
I ultimately nod. “Yeah.” How, though?
She smiles and gently scratches her fingernails over the nape of my neck.
Holy fuck.
“Thank you.” She closes the rest of the distance between us as she hugs me. Without thinking, my hands slide to her back, encircling her and holding her against me. My heart pounds so hard, she has to feel it.
With her head on my chest, she asks, “Tomorrow when you sober up, do you think you’ll remember us dancing or anything we said?”
Amused, but also perplexed, I say, “I don’t know. Why?” Definitely.
As the song ends, she stretches to whisper in my ear, “In high school, I wanted to be more than friends with you.”
What the hell?
As my jaw hits the floor, she lightly kisses my neck before dropping her hands and walking away. By the time I turn around, she’s gone, leaving me in awe, confused, or afraid.
I’m not sure which one I want to be.
CHAPTER 12
KAT
“Did you have fun last night? You’ve been quiet since I picked you up. What’s going on?”
With my back to my mom, I shrug. “It was fun.”
“You say that as if I asked you about jury duty.
She moves next to me as I unload plastic bags, containing boxes of nails, staples, and screws that my brother Tony left for me to sort into piles. I’m so important here.
“How much did you drink? You’re barely wearing makeup today.”
I glance up, looking at her in mock horror. “Am I underdressed? I guess I failed to read the memo. Tony said I looked like shit, too.”
“Not shit. Just overwhelmed, maybe?” What an understatement.
“I’m just tired.” I didn’t sleep much.
After I confessed to Jared about wanting him to be more than friends in school, I had blown my own mind from doing so. I thought I’d never have the courage to tell him how I felt if I ever saw him again. Having some alcohol coursing through my veins did help somewhat, but I wasn’t as drunk as he was. I only had a few shots, compared to his constant drink in hand.
Leaving him on the dance floor, I went straight to my brother Pete, telling him I was sick and needed him to take me home. He proceeded to argue that he was working, but I reminded him about his predicament.
Our mother’s house fire was deemed electrical, which is true since it started in the outdated breaker box when an overloaded breaker failed to flip. However, the cause of that was my brother using her house for big poker parties while she was out of town. When I walked to Mom’s house to get her mail, and to check on things a couple days before the fire, I had found out what Pete was doing. I told him to not do it again, but apparently, he didn’t listen. The fire marshal had pointed out the outlets on the circuit that were overloaded, but nothing of significance was plugged there during their investigation. Pete left the house when the fire had unknowingly already started in the basement. We can’t know for sure if he caused the overload, since he unplugged his shit before he left, but he was there, and then he wasn’t.
I wanted him to tell Mom that he was using her house, but he said he doesn’t want her to know about another kid being responsible for a loss in her life. That comment is why the asshole is paying for it now. I want to tell her about Pete being there, but then he reminds me what I took from her. Much worse.
Still, he’s eager to keep my mouth shut, for the time being, until I change my mind or develop a backbone, or he does either of those. Hopefully.
He won’t even show up to the rebuild because of his guilt, saying he has to work, and even if he does have two jobs, he’s a pussy. I want her to know the truth, but it should come from Pete, not me. His statement is dead on. I have brought enough misery to her life. I can’t be the harbinger of more devastating news.
On the way out of the club, I ran into Dash. I told him I was sick, but he didn’t believe me, asking what happened with Jared. Not wanting to get into it then, I told him we’d talk later.
Maybe I was drunker than I thought, or the reality of telling Jared hit me, I don’t know, but I suddenly didn’t want him to remember. He didn’t want me when we were teenagers. Why would he change his mind about me now?
I sigh as I continue to stack boxes. “I had a good time. I even sang a little.”
My mom moves closer to me. Crossing her arms, she leans against the foldout table. “Did Pete make you sing?”
“No. That was my own stupid idea.”
She knocks her elbow into my arm. “Sounds like you did have fun with Dash.”
“Dash is fun.”
“Is he a fun drunk?”
Laughing, I say, “He was totally sober.”
Working on my stacking, she scrutinizes me in silence and then says, “Sweetness, there isn’t more to it than that? Dash is so sweet and such a cutie. You should give him a chance.”
“Dash?” I suddenly laugh and look over at her to see if she’s joking.
She fiddles with a ring on her hand and shrugs. “Why not Dash?”
“He looks like he’s in a boy band.” I laugh again, shaking my head as I slide a box of nails to the end of the table. “We’re just friends. He’s a good friend, actually.” My smile is grateful.
After the weird encounter with Jared on the bridge, the next day, Dash and I had a very enlightening talk over lunch. I told Dash all I could about meeting Jared and of our odd relationship in high school, and he started putting pieces together.
“You’re shitting me? Jericho acted like that with you?”
“Jericho. I like that name for him. Yeah. All the time. It eventually became a daily thing. He had to touch me somehow. He’d constantly massage my neck or put his arms around me… Even if he were just passing me in the hall, he’d reach over and touch my arm. On my birthday, he picked me up and spun me around.”
“Holy…wow, Kat. That doesn’t even sound like the Jared I know. I had no idea that he was… He didn’t tell me anythi
ng. I sometimes thought he was hiding something, but wasn’t sure. And he asked you out on a date?”
“Again, that became a regular thing. He’d bring it up a couple times a week, but he didn’t call me or offer something definite. He asked me to wear his jersey, but never gave it to me. We talked so much, though. In passing, he did mention his mom leaving him when he was a kid, but he never made it the topic of conversations and I never asked more about it, thinking it was a tough subject for him.”
“You don’t get how big all this was for him to do.”
“I don’t know. I guess I don’t.”
“He… He doesn’t act like that with anyone. Ever. This is serious. He’s very standoffish by nature, very careful of what he says and does to the point he’s calculating, but with you, it sounds like he forgot about all that. From what you just told me, and since I’ve known him since second grade, I can say I’m 99 percent positive that Jared Beckett was… He was fucking in love with you.”
I burst into tears right there in the deli where we were having lunch. I never expected to hear Dash say that, and I never suspected Jared might have felt that way about me. Yet, if he did, he sure sent me mixed signals.
“He was just teasing me, Dash, or he was just being friendly to me. I don’t know.”
“Nope. Jared is not like that with any woman. I promise you that. From what I can gather, you were special to him, but he didn’t know what to do.”
“I want it to be different with Jared this time. If you’re right about how he felt, do you think he can fall in love with me again?”
“I honestly don’t think he ever fell out.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because the look of sheer panic he had at the races. You figuratively scaled his walls and he was petrified. That’s why he bailed. Tell me. How’d you feel about him in school?”
“I was in love with Jared, but he didn’t notice or if he did, he didn’t return the feeling since he dated someone else his senior year.”
“I don’t remember him having a girlfriend then. He was particularly quiet and anti-social, especially the first half of the year, when we were busy with our sports, but he never once mentioned a girlfriend to me. That’s weird.”
The Keys to Jericho Page 18