“So I’m not?”
“Could you hold off on the nail polish, makeup, and gossip? If that’s what you’re planning this trip, then drop me off at the next fucking exit and I’ll walk home.”
“So, you’re really not going to talk about it?”
“If it means nothing, then yes.”
Dash mutters something that sounds like, “Stubborn dickhead.”
I don’t care anymore. If I have to be a dickhead to stay detached, then so be it.
Because Dash almost always has to be talking, for the bulk of the drive, Dash seeks out conversation by calling people. Since he used speakerphone, I had to listen to his entire calls with his father, mother, somebody he called Flip, and then the best, which he saved for last.
Dash hits a number and the familiar voice fills the car. “Douche, where are you?”
“What’s up, Rio de Janeiro?” Dash cheerfully says, making me want to barf. “I’m on speaker.”
Rio says, “Hey, Jare.”
I glumly reply, “Hey.”
Dash advises, “Watch. He’s pissier than a urinal.” I give Calder the finger as I close my eyes, wishing we were at the house so I could get some air or maybe set one of their beds on fire, just as a warning.
There’s a pause before Rio asks, “You okay?”
“Yep.”
“Dash, you didn’t answer me. Where are you?”
“We’re outside of Cambridge, so we have about an hour left. Where are you?”
“Fifteen minutes away.”
“How in the hell did that happen?”
“I’m just good. Jare, remind him how I’m always early.”
Dash squawks, “That’s entirely false! You were late to dinner two weeks ago! Remember, Jericho?”
“Once in a while I’m late.”
“You wish. You were also last to get to the club.” His voice turns toward me. “Tell him!”
“Jare, you know how Douche likes to exaggerate.”
Not able to fall asleep, I intolerantly sigh. “Why don’t you both go fuck yourselves?”
Dash laughs. “I told you he was in a bad mood. So, I guess you’ll have to wait on the deck for me to get there with the key.”
“I might stop to get something to eat anyway.”
“Did you get the package?”
Rio’s quiet before he chuckles. “Yes. All is good.”
“Did it need extra stamps?”
Rio laughs louder. “Yeah, it did. You owe me.” He laughs again and I open my eyes just to roll them before closing them again.
I hear Dash picking up a sucker he had laying in front of the stick shift. “What about extra tape?”
“That, too.”
Dash says, “It has a grouchy recipient. Don’t fuck up the delivery.”
Rio retorts, “Fuck you.” Christ. They’re such a doomed partnership. They couldn’t even operate a meth lab together.
I hear Dash thumping his sucker against the steering wheel. “What’s the return policy?”
“It’s covered. Don’t worry.”
“Good. I don’t want to worry about it over the weekend.”
Rio asks, “Jare, how’s Kat’s driving going?”
Giving up on getting a nap, I open my eyes and glare at the sun visor. “Fine.”
Dash inclines closer to his phone mounted on the dashboard, and loudly whispers, “I think he misses her.”
I negligibly flinch before turning to scowl at his laughter.
Rio says, “Aw, Beckett. You should’ve invited her.”
Lifting my arm from my chest, I pull on my cap, lowering it. “I have a lighter. Both of you better fucking sleep with one eye open tonight.”
Rio laughs. “Is she tired of your winning attitude yet?” I roll my eyes, yet again. I swear, if I roll my eyes anymore, I’ll be able to take flight.
I edgily mutter, “Fuck off.”
Dash says, “That’s a fat yes.”
Sounding amused, Rio replies, “Okay. I’m out. I’ll see you guys there.”
When we pull up to the gray, two-story house an hour later, I’m out of the car before Dash turns off the engine. Since he usually takes his time getting his shit together, I go straight to the side of the house, and up the three steps to the back gate leading to the deck. Spinning the combination into the lock, I open the gate, and walk onto the partially awning-covered, beige-painted deck that has a table and chairs, a covered grill, and beyond the awning’s reach, a sunken Jacuzzi at the corner. The stairs lead down to the small, privacy fenced-in yard containing a small storage shed, where we keep our spare fishing gear. In the center of the yard is a large, stone fire pit that we helped Dash’s dad, Dave, build three summers ago. Arguments ensued, mistakes were numerous, and Dash was nearly sacrificed in the first bonfire. Another example of why we shouldn’t go into business together.
I sit down on the top step. I just need a few minutes to myself before I have to listen to Rio and Dash arguing for four days, and then throwing Liberty into the mix for three, I’ll have to stay trashed the entire vacation.
I try not to think about Kat’s rejection, but the more I try not to think about it, the more I do. Isn’t that a law of physics, Murphy’s Law, or some crazy shit like that?
Kat had a crush on me in school. How could I have not known when all I did was throw my concentration into winning her over?
I would’ve dated Kat, but even then, I doubt it would’ve worked out for an extended period, since I became insanely bored and disillusioned with every girlfriend I had. She asked about us having a long-distance relationship, but if I couldn’t stay interested when they lived in the same fucking town, how am I going to be able to carry on a thing with Kat when we live in different states?
I won’t be able to, and yet again, my dad’s words, about reeling her in and then dumping her, haunt me.
However, last night, I confessed that I want her, the only way I can offer, but she refused. If she truly wanted us to be closer, she would’ve agreed. Sex would make our friendship closer—what she had wanted. I guess it’s a close friendship with someone else she really wanted, and not me.
The sliding glass door opens and Dash says, “Jericho, I’m not your bellhop, but I did unload your shit from the car. It’s in the living room, and so is Rio. You might want to come in because he’s snooping through your suitcase.”
Not that I care, since I have nothing worth hiding in there, but that doesn’t sound like anything Rio would randomly do.
I shift to question Dash, and that’s when I see Kat standing next to him. Dash says, “Look what Rio found on the side of the road.”
What the fuck?
Incensed, I stand. “What the hell is going on here?” I look at a grinning Dash to a somber Kat for an explanation, and then back to Calder. “Dash, you fucking promised you wouldn’t pull this shit on me!”
The sliding door opens again as Dash protests, “I didn’t!”
Rio says, “I did, Jare.”
“What the fuck, Rio? Do I have any damn friends here?”
Rio frowns as he walks past them and approaches me. “Don’t do that. You know we have your back.”
Dash nods, putting his arm around an unsmiling Kat. “Come on, Jericho. Kat’s here. Be happy.”
I glare at Kat. “You knew about this shit?”
She shakes her head. “I was asked to come shortly after you dropped me off at home. It was a last-minute thing.”
I incredulously demand, “After last night, you still did this?”
From beside me, Rio sucks in a loud breath. “Whoa. What happened last night?”
Dash says, “Jericho, you said nothing was wrong. Why did you lie?”
Rio scoffs, “Right. He never reveals shit like that.”
“Stop talking about me like I’m a fucking child! How can all of you stand here, acting like it isn’t a big deal, duping me like this?”
“Duping you? Jare, I thought you’d like having Kat here and I knew you’d
probably never ask her yourself. So, I did.”
“Well, someone better take one of us home because I don’t want to be around her.”
Dash yelps, “Jared!”
Rio puts his hands on his hips and angrily shakes his head at me. “Jared, shit. What’s the matter with you?”
Glowering at my two supposed best friends, I then look to the real target of my ire. My everlasting pain. Kat wipes her eyes with her hands and says, “Jared, fuck you. I’m gone. This was a huge mistake.” She pivots and escapes as Rio and Dash gape in horror, I’m guessing from the sudden, dismayed looks on their faces.
Rio turns to me with a glare, in which I counter with one, and he spews, “What the fuck is your problem?”
“Fuck you, Duquesne. You don’t know what’s going on, so stay out of it.”
“Yeah, I don’t know everything that’s going on because you don’t say shit, but Kat told me you had an argument.”
Through my teeth, I fume, “Understatement.”
Dash says, “Jericho, don’t be like this! Kat cares about you! A lot!”
I whip my head to face him. “Shut the fuck up, Calder. You don’t have a clue, either.”
Rio contends, “He knows more than you fucking do. Go work it out with her!”
I take a step back from both of them. “Why in the hell do you care?”
Rio shouts, “We care because she’s your friend—our friend—and you just did that to her! What aren’t you telling us? Everything’s a fucking secret with you!”
“Like you don’t have any, Rio?”
He throws his hands out. “Ask away, Jare! I’ll tell you anything you want to know, but you already know everything about me!”
I scornfully roll my eyes and Dash says, “Jared, she’s my friend, too, and there are things you don’t know. You have to talk to her!”
Looking down to the ground, over my crossed arms, I shake my head with a resolute, “No.”
“Asshole,” he ridicules before trotting to the gate and swinging it open with a clattered slam.
Rio says, “If you’re going to be mad at someone, be mad at me. Don’t take it out on Kat.”
I nod at the deck. “It’s not about you, but yeah.” Raising my head, I’m in agreement. “I’m fucking pissed at you, too.”
“I promised I’d take her home if you didn’t want her here, so I’ll take her, but don’t expect me to come back to deal with your shit.”
“Good.”
Rio paces, glowering to the side of the house, around the yard, and then back at me. “Why do you think your friends are conspiring against you? There was no malice for us bringing Kat here. We just thought you’d have some fun with her.”
“What? You think I have or should be fucking her, too? FYI: I’m not and won’t! Do I have to rent a damn billboard?”
He scowls. “God, Jared. Grow up. Do you know that you’re all Kat talked about on the way here?” I roll my eyes and he says, “You bastard, she thinks you hung the fucking moon. Too bad you just brought it crashing down on top of her.”
I don’t have anything to say to that, and Rio adds, “You may have just lost your driving student, as well as a great friend. Don’t worry about it, though. Dash and I will help her get her license.” I can’t help her now. Not after this. Was last night a fucking attempt at a joke at my expense, too? To see what I would say when she turned me down?
I sneer, “Such great friends you are.”
He nods. “Yeah. We are. Why don’t you be the same?”
“If I’m such a shitty friend, why do you keep coming around?”
“Don’t make me ask myself that question, Jare.” He runs his hand over his stubbled jaw and sighs. “You’re a good person. You just need to work on being a better friend. Don’t take it for granted that you’ll always have us if you keep acting like this.”
I grimly laugh with a clamp to my teeth. “If you’re putting conditions on our friendship, then you can all go straight to Hell.”
Rio calmly studies me before saying, “Jared. I consider you my family. You need Dash and I just as much as we need you, but you’ve got to be more user-friendly. Talk to us. Trust us. Hold up your end of the friendship. That goes for your friendship with Kat, too.” He frowns as his blue eyes go skyward. “If it still exists.”
Not knowing how to respond, I roughly inhale as I grind my teeth. Rio shoves his hands into his jeans pockets and nods to the side of the house. “Go talk to her before I take her home.”
Heaving the weighty breath I took, I contemplate that as he waits for me to go. If Rio leaves, he’s taking Kat with him. I don’t see him much anymore, and driving all of that way back would be senseless.
And Kat… I don’t know what to think of her reasoning for being here, because I don’t understand why I now want her to stay. I give up. Every time she’s around, my logic vacates my brain, becoming an abandoned building, and my mouth starts its engine, rivaling Dash’s. I’m a goddamned pussy.
Likewise, I can’t be left here alone with Calder, because I won’t be responsible if he can’t keep his never-ending mouth shut.
As my anger begins to settle, which Rio is usually good at subduing, unlike Dash, I grasp that the fucker is probably sincere, and he’s usually more logical than I am, apart from the Liberty shitstorm. Nevertheless, this time, he and Dash were moronic, deluded bastards with nothing better to do than to drive me fucking crazy.
Frowning petulantly to myself, I yank on my cap and leave the backyard. When I round the front, Dash and Kat aren’t on the porch, sitting in Dash’s car, or in Rio’s truck. Doubting she went into the house since she wants to avoid me, I look up and down the narrow dead-end drive for them, but still see nothing. There’s only one place left she could’ve ran off to, so I cross over and go to the public beach access that is diagonal to the house. When I reach the sand, the beach is a sea in its own right with people, umbrellas, and towels sailing it, but I immediately see Kat’s red tank top, and her holding onto Dash near the water with her head buried in his chest. Even though Kat doesn’t want to have sex with me, and I don’t want an official relationship with her, I suddenly want to drown my best friend for touching her like that.
I irritably rip my shoes and then my socks off, stuffing them into my shoes. Carrying them, I trudge through the sand, toward the blinding afternoon gleam coming off the noisy, undulating water. Dash sees me from over Kat’s head and frowns, not releasing her. I know I should take this moment to appreciate his loyalty to his friends, too, but seeing her in his arms incites me to want to do many violent things to him.
When I reach them, he says, “If you’re here for another round, forget it. I’ll take you home and she can stay.”
Ignoring him, I say to the back of her head, “Kat, you don’t have to go, but I’ll leave if you want me to.”
She looks up from Dash’s chest and says, “I shouldn’t have come. I didn’t mean to ruin your trip.”
Dash says, “You were invited. It’s my dad’s house. You’re welcome here anytime.” He shoots me a look, and I ruefully sulk.
Kat sniffs as Dash rubs her shoulder, irking me more. “I don’t want you to leave when it’s supposed to be your vacation, Jared.”
I mutter, “It’s not just my vacation.”
Dash tilts his head to look at her face. “So, if Jared can be an adult, will you stay?” He then glares at me, and I can’t even argue with him. I’ve never seen Dash so mad at me before. He asks me, “Right?”
I nod at him and then glance at Kat. She doesn’t reply right away, but eventually says, “Okay. Just give me some time here.”
Dash lets go of her and bends to shove his feet into his shoes he had in his hand. Avoiding me, Kat turns and walks to the wet sand. As I watch her, Dash says, “You know, I should set you on fire and throw you into the ocean.”
Because I have no words, I again can only nod, summarily looking at him before watching Kat standing along the tide’s reach.
Dash fol
ds his arms over his chest as we scrutinize her. “I hope you realize you broke her heart because she thinks you hate her.”
“Dash…” I sigh and anxiously pull on my bill as I continue to observe her.
He says, “I’ll give her some time, but I’ll be back to check on her. Don’t make her cry again or you’re going deep-sea diving without a tank.” I’m quickly growing irritated with his gung-ho attitude.
I evenly reply, “I won’t.”
“You need to apologize.”
Losing my patience, I snap, “Will you fucking let me handle it now?”
He yells back, “You did and we all saw how that went!”
I lick my salty lips and shake my head. “Just go. I’ll talk to her.”
We glare at each other before he concedes, “Okay.” Giving Kat one last glance, he leaves and I slowly walk to where she’s standing, trying to come up with something to say.
Stopping next to her, she doesn’t acknowledge me as she watches the waves crashing in front of us. Kids splash nearby, and shouting and laughing around us accompany the tide.
I want to hold Kat like Dash did, but if I value my testicles, I’ll stow that thought.
Every second that nothing is said, I feel 10 times worse about my tantrum, but I don’t know how to erase what I said. I want it back to where we were. Almost. I’m determined to make things better between us than they were before. I owe her and our friendship that.
Seeing something in the backwash, hoping I don’t lose my shoes in the water, I step in front of her to pick it up. Holding the dried and broken starfish, I ask, “You know that starfish regrow their limbs? When they’re alive, I mean.”
Kat looks at it. “Yeah. I’ve heard of that.” Reaching over, her hand brushes mine and my body instantly buzzes as she cautiously runs her thumb over the star’s spiny ridges. “Did you also know a starfish is a symbol of renewal, healing, and longevity—losing a part of yourself, only to come back new and improved, stronger than before?”
I stare at her face, captivated by her mouth and the sweet voice coming out of it, remembering the feeling of her lips on mine. I distractedly say, “No, I didn’t.”
The Keys to Jericho Page 28