The Keys to Jericho

by Ren Alexander

During dinner a short time later, we sit at the table, quietly eating. This isn’t how I wanted us to spend time together. I shouldn’t have said the things I did, but I didn’t want to say them when it’s too late, and he’d blame me for not mentioning it to him.

  When Jared is finished, he says, “That was the best spaghetti and cream of chicken soup ever, Kit Kat.”

  Looking up at his feeble smile, I say, “Don’t go making fun. That’s all you had.”

  His smile becomes more convincing. “I’m serious. I never thought of doing that before.”

  I roll my eyes. “And you call yourself an engineer?”

  Jared laughs and I take our bowls to the dishwasher. He says, “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.”

  “Not a lot of places for me to go,” I mutter to myself as he leaves the kitchen.

  As I wipe off the counter, he returns and holds out his hand to me. “Here. I want you to have it.”

  “What?” Glancing at his hand, I see the broken starfish he picked up at the beach.

  Grinning, I take it, feeling the bumpy arms. Giving Jared a questioning look, I ask, “Why?”

  His smile is almost shy. “I picked it up for you. It’s yours.”

  I suddenly giggle. “I completely forgot.” Holding onto the starfish, I go to my purse, pulling out the small plastic bag I’ve been holding onto since the beach. Presenting the bag to him, I say, “This is yours.”

  Jared opens it and pulls out the broken starfish we found in the gift shop. “Kit Kat.” His smile is surprised, but honest.

  “I got it when you were talking to Dash and Rio. Now we each have one to remind us of our time at the beach.”

  “Perfect.”

  I nod to the bag next to his blue couch. “Oh. You can also open the big bag.”

  His smile flips into a frown, but his eyes are curious. Setting down the starfish, he walks over to the bag and pushes it down, exposing a beige comforter. I say, “I thought you might need one. I wasn’t sure what you have already or what size your bed is. I decided on a neutral color in a king size, so it’ll still work if it’s too big.”

  Picking up the bundled package, he says, “Thank you. Wow.”

  “I guess you can also use that and remember me.”

  Looking at me, his smile is faint. “You’ve never left my mind for me to ever forget.” Damn. I need to kiss him.

  I smile in return, and his phone rings. Stepping over to the coffee table, he looks at it and frowns. “It’s Duquesne. He usually texts.”

  Remembering how Rio said Jared is a good listener, I encouragingly nod. “Oh. Well, talk to him.” I just hope Jared keeps an open mind about Liberty if it’s about her.

  Jared answers the phone and takes the comforter into his room. Hearing him laugh, I figure his conversation is going to be a while, so I go out onto the balcony. The view is even more stunning at dusk with the skyscrapers lit up, casting a glow on each other, which creates a halo above them. I suppose it is the City of Brotherly Love, so it’s very fitting.

  Leaning onto the railing, I sigh. I wish I could just give Jared what he wants, which isn’t much of anything. He doesn’t want me to be a significant part of his life. On the other hand, I want him to be my husband and the father of my children. To be my future. My everything. I love him like no one else.

  However, I can’t even get Jared to commit to just being my boyfriend. Therefore, I can’t be dragged into a never-ending vortex with him. He wants nothing with me, other than to be his dedicated, hometown fuck.

  I blankly stare at the illuminated scenery, wishing I could spell out the answers within the dotted lights, but they’re no help. Nothing, or no one, is.

  “What are you doing?”

  I inhale, shaking my head, as I feel him coming closer. “Just looking at the view.”

  He puts his arms around me, resting his cheek against the side of my head. “It’s incredible, huh?” Turning around, I notice his hair is damp. Running my fingers into it, he says, “I took a quick shower.”

  Watching his wet hair heftily bounce beneath my fingers, I say, “You’ll get to see this view every day.” His eyes drift over my face, like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. Knowing that I will have to first, I sigh with an apologetic frown. “I’m sorry for earlier. I shouldn’t have said those things.”

  “You wanted to, though. I know you did, Kat.”

  I nod. “I did because things do happen and it scares me.”

  His forehead wrinkles. “Why? That’s something you want, isn’t it?”

  My hand drops from his hair to feel his light beard along his jaw. “Not now. I don’t want to be a single parent.”

  “You wouldn’t be. You’d have me.”

  “Jared. We won’t even be living in the same city. We’re not together as a couple. I’d essentially be a single parent.”

  He licks his bottom lip and darts his gaze to the side. “You could come live here. In Philadelphia.” What?

  I peer over my shoulder to the city landscape. “I can’t live here. It’s not for me. It’s too much. You’re teaching me how to drive, and I’d want to actually drive. I can’t be thrown into the traffic here like that.”

  “You’ll eventually learn how to deal with it. I’d help you.”

  I swiftly turn away from the city to look at him. “How? You’ll be working, and so would I. I like the small-town feel of Annapolis. The schools are so different here.” I laugh and shake my head as he studiously watches me. “You don’t have to worry, though. I’m not pregnant. I’m just saying that it could happen, and I wanted you to be aware, so if it does, it wouldn’t be a total shock to you.”

  He sighs. “Kat, I would never bail on you if it did.”

  Putting my arms around him, I smile. “You promise?”

  Jared nods and takes my face into his hands, lightly stroking my cheeks. “I swear to God, baby.”

  “Thank you. That does make me feel better.”

  He says, “I know what it’s like to be abandoned.” Fuck… I’m such an idiot.

  His eyes travel over my face, like he still wants to say more, yet he again doesn’t. Instead, he sweeps in to kiss me, and I hold onto him tighter. However, before we have a chance to even get carried away, he steps back and says, “I have something to show you.”

  Jared promptly leads me to his bedroom, and I smile. “It fits your bed.”

  He pulls on my hand as he walks backward to it. “Yep. Come try it out with me.”

  I laugh. “It’s my turn for a shower.”

  He tilts his head and nods to the bed. “I’ll be here. Don’t be too long.”

  “I’ll hurry.” I stuff the things I need under my arm and make a fast exit, finishing my shower in record time, eager to get dressed.

  Drying my hair so that it’s not sopping wet, I unfold the lacy, black nightie I picked up when Pete wasn’t looking, during our trip to get Jared’s comforter. Since this is the only night I’ll be with him here, I wanted it to be memorable for both of us, even if it’ll be painful to remember.

  Looking in the mirror, I’m somewhat satisfied with my see-through appearance. I wish I could nip and tuck some areas, but it’ll have to do. I smooth out the material, down to the flared flounce of lace over my thighs.

  When I show up at his bedroom door, his room is dark, except for the glow from the living room and the cityscape, both casting a muted spotlight on the bed, where Jared is lying in the middle, with his hands behind his head, while gazing out the window. My eyes slide down his body, seeing him stripped down to only his underwear, and I grin.

  Clasping my hands together behind my back, I clear my throat and he whisks his head to me. I’ve never seen Jared’s eyes widen so fast, or the bulge in his underwear, stirring to life at the same rate.

  After nearly a minute of him staring, I anxiously ask, “Do I look okay?”

  Apparently snapping out of his trance, he moves his arms and sits up some. “Wow, Kat.”

  I walk
over to the bed and climb onto it. “Is that a good wow?”

  His hands go to my hips and he hauls me closer. Taking my hand, he puts it between his legs. “What do you think? You get me so goddamned hard it hurts.”

  As my fingers move over him, I smile, but then wince. “You probably have said that a lot to women.”

  His hand goes to the nape of my neck, and he draws me to him, whispering against my throat, “Fucking never. Just you.” I remember him saying that at the beach when he promised to be with only me, and my smile returns.

  I stroke him through his underwear, and he groans as he kisses my neck. I love hearing how much he’s turned on, which only turns me on more. Sliding my hand up, I pull down his waistband, exposing his fervent erection. As his hot breath quickens, I dip my head, taking him into my mouth.

  Jared’s whole body stiffens as I lick him. “Fuck. Kat. Baby.”

  I grip him as I lick the tip, whispering over it, “Tastes so good.”

  His hands go into my hair as I bob up and down. “Kat, stop.”

  Paying no attention, I keep licking, and he gruffly whispers, “Not like this.” I lift my head and he rolls me onto my back. When I look up at him, he takes off his underwear as his stare wanders down my body. Jared moves, hovering above me and says, “You’re fucking gorgeous.”

  Before I can say anything, his tongue is in my mouth. Our kissing is deep, zealous, and all over each other. I kiss down his throat and when I go across his collarbone, he takes my nipple, poking through the lace, into his mouth, while rubbing his hard-on against my leg.

  “Jared, you’re so sexy.”

  He groans, and it vibrates through my chest, making my nipples harder, in which he takes advantage of the one inside his mouth.

  Instinctively, I open my legs for him, but remember that I’m wearing underwear, and I wonder why I did. When his fingers trail over the lace on my stomach, down to my lace underwear, he says, “Christ. I can feel how wet you are through these.”

  My left hand goes into his hair, while I brush his bottom lip with my other. “That’s what you do to me.”

  He kisses my fingers as he prods into the lace, and as I push against him, he tears through it. “Fuck,” he whispers, ripping open the rest of the material, and plunging his fingers all the way into me.

  As my hips and his fingers counter each other, I gasp, “Fuck, I want you.”

  He kisses me and shifts his whole body, pushing my legs open further. Trying not to lose my nerve, I whisper, “Jared, we’re lovers.” He stops and looks at me, and I swear his breathing stops, as well. “I’m begging you. Just for tonight. Make love to me.”

  I wait for his protest, for his argument that he doesn’t know how or that he doesn’t believe in love, but instead, he leans down to kiss me. His kiss is slow and tender, which surprises me, and I cling to him as his hand skims up my side, to my breast. He finds my other nipple and teases it with his thumb, until I’m gasping against his lips. Jared ends our kiss to take my nipple between his teeth.

  I moan, “Baby.”

  Letting go of my nipple, he returns to my mouth and says, “I like that, Kit Kat.” He kisses me and whispers, “I need you.”

  “Baby, make love to me. Show me how you feel.”

  I put my arms around Jared’s neck, and he pants over my chest, as he painstakingly enters me. We moan collectively. “Kat, you feel unbelievable.” He thrusts further and says, “I’m so deep inside you.”

  I sigh. “I know.”

  “I don’t mean just here,” he whispers, looking into my eyes as he pushes his hips into me. “I mean everywhere inside you.”

  “I know,” I repeat as we look into each other’s eyes, surprisingly without fear. “Do you feel me everywhere inside you?”

  Between unhurried thrusts, he utters, “Yes.”

  Closing my eyes, I huff as my orgasm approaches, but suddenly, Jared pulls out of me. I open my eyes to see him moving to my side, and he takes me with him, rolling me on top. “You can’t come yet. It’s your turn.” He reaches up to my head, pulling me down with both hands, and I grab onto his arms as I tip forward. When I’m above his lips, I put my hands onto the mattress to steady myself. As he looks into my eyes, I see the trepidation and the uncertainty return. He whispers, “Make love to me, Kat.”

  Blown away, but not wanting to show that I am, I inhale an unsteady breath as I circle my hips around to catch the top of his erection, slowly sinking it into me until he can’t go any further. Our responding groans as I move my hips, pulling him out and then back in, drives us again to the edge. “Feel all of me, baby,” I whisper, kissing his jaw.

  “I do. You’re mine.”

  I push myself up, and the only place we are touching is the connection at our hips, but it’s a profound one. I glide him in and out of me, and our heavy breathing carries us as we look at each other, with so many things being said, yet not out loud.

  Jared puts his hands on my hips and says, “You mean so much to me, Kit Kat.”

  “How much?” Tell me you love me.

  His eyes widen and then close as he whispers, “Holy fuck.”

  “What?” I ask with bated breath.

  Unexpectedly, he pushes his hips up, and roughly grates me onto him. “Feel how fucking much you do.”

  As I explode, I wail, “Oh, Jared! Baby!” I can’t even say more than that as he gives me the most intense orgasm yet.

  We pant together, but unlike him, he says nothing when he finally comes, with only quiet grunts signifying his end, and I welcome his warmth.

  With our heavy breathing the only sound heard in his room, I lean down to kiss him, before I carefully lift off him and move to his side. When I snuggle against him, he’s still quiet. “What’s wrong?”

  Turning to me, his lips go to my forehead, he puts his arms around me, and he throatily whispers, “Kat, don’t leave me.”

  “You’re leaving me.”

  “We’ll figure it out, baby. Just don’t fucking ditch me.”

  “I don’t want that, but you don’t want me the way I need you to.”

  “Kat…” He stops, and when he doesn’t go on, I look up at him. From the glow of the city, I see the uneasiness in his eyes.

  “What?” He shakes his head, but he still doesn’t say anything, and I press, “Talk to me.”

  Suddenly rolling away and sitting up, he grabs his underwear and says, “There’s nothing to talk about.”

  Getting up from the bed, he quickly puts them on and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

  I don’t understand what just happened. What did I do? What didn’t I do?

  I should follow him, but I don’t. Instead, I cry myself to sleep, feeling lonelier after we made love than I did after a quick fuck in the backseat of his car.

  I awake early, since the blinds were left open, and the bright light pours into the room. I had fallen asleep on top of the comforter. Alone.

  Going into the living room, Jared is sitting on the couch, wearing a T-shirt and shorts, looking like hot hell, so I’m guessing he’s been up for a while.

  I ask, “Why didn’t you come to bed?”

  “I fell asleep out here.” His eyes drift over me and he licks his lips, but there’s something off about it.

  As I start walking, he asks, “Where are you going?”

  “The bathroom,” I say on my way there, but I look back to see him scrutinizing me.

  In the bathroom, I throw away the torn underwear and brush my teeth, unsure of what to expect from him this morning. We’ll be leaving this afternoon, so there’s some time to kill.

  When I’m finished in there, I walk past him, not meaning to flash my ass, but it can’t be helped. Jared says, “Wait. Come here.”

  Going over to him on the couch, I ask, “What?” Is he going to explain himself? Apologize for leaving me alone?

  Without answering, he stands and pulls me to him. He kisses my neck, and then moves down to my exposed nipple, licking it, and blow
ing hot air across it.

  My panting is sudden and raising his head, he growls, “Tell me you fucking want me.”

  “I do want you, Jared.”

  “I doubt it,” he sneers.

  Gaping at him, I reiterate, “I do.”

  His voice is hard and taunting. “Right. Show me how much.”

  “How?”

  “Either get down on your knees or bend over.”

  I look into his eyes, but I don’t see any kind of emotion within them. Only cold nothingness. What in the fuck happened to him?

  “Jared…”

  The hard edge to his voice marginally wavers. “Just…fucking do it.”

  As I stare at him in shock and doubt, he averts his eyes ever so slightly, giving away that he’s hurting for some reason.

  Reverting to the mindset of reaching him through sex, I slowly turn around, bending over the coffee table, and my nightie slides up to my hips. As much as I try, I can’t hold back the tears that drip down my face and onto the table. I’m losing him more than just physically, and now he’s just using me to get off. I thought we had developed a connection with our time together, even a breakthrough last night, but we lost it in the same breath. That’s what hurts the most.

  His fingers slide against my pussy, inside, and then back out to wet the lips. With his other hand, I hear him shoving down his shorts. I grip the edges of the table and wait, but I unwillingly catch a sob.

  Moving closer, his dick pokes at me, but he doesn’t go further.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask toward the table.

  “Goddamn it,” he gripes. The next thing I hear is shuffling and the bathroom door slamming shut.

  Straightening, I retreat to his bedroom, sitting on the edge of his bed, fucking crying again, my stomach in knots over feeling so ashamed that I was going to let him use me like that. Again. Yet, my heart aches for him all over again for his shame.

  What the hell happened? Last night Jared and I made love. I felt like we truly did for the first time. However, today he’s hell-bent on doing a 180, and leaving me in the dust.

  When it’s clear that Jared is staying in the bathroom to avoid me, I get dressed. Whatever happened, we need to talk about it before returning home, where we’ll have eyes glued to us. We need to… I honestly have no idea.