“It’s fine,” I assured Chris. “I’ll be fine. This is nothing I can’t handle.”
Thirty minutes later I was knocking on my mother’s door.
“Camden?” she asked me in surprise when she opened the door. “What are you doing here?”
I didn’t say a word, I just wrapped her up in a hug and let out a strangled sound that I knew was a sob I’d tried to choke back.
“Come on,” she said, pulling me into the house and out of the blustery cold.
Chris left to make a run to Target for some things he needed, or so he said, but I think he really just wanted to give me space.
I took a deep breath and shook my head as my mom guided me into the kitchen. I wasn’t going to cry.
“Should I even ask where Andi is?” she asked as she busied herself making hot chocolate.
When we were kids and we had enough money for treats, hot chocolate was always something she made. She’d load it up with marshmallows and whipped cream, and it was like magic in a cup after a long day of playing outside in the snow. Today it just made me remember what it was like to not have to deal with the heavy shit, when the worst part of my day was having to come inside because my toes were starting to feel numb. Life was so much simpler back then.
“Where’s everyone else?” I asked her, ignoring her question about Andi. Talking about her might toss me over the edge.
“Ted took Asher and Ella sledding. They’re at the hill a few blocks away.”
I nodded. “That’s cool.”
“I didn’t know you were coming,” she said, changing tactics on me.
“It was sort of a last minute decision.”
“But you were supposed to spend Christmas in Atlanta.”
“I was,” I said continuing to be purposefully vague.
My mother turned to look at me knowingly. “Camden, I love you dearly, and with that love comes an understanding that you share DNA with your father. I know it’s your tendency to clam up when something bad happens, but I also know you came here for a reason. Now spill.”
I looked up from where I’d been tracing circles on the wood tabletop to meet her insistent gaze.
“Andi’s parents hate me,” I said, putting it all out there.
“Now how is that possible? You just met them last night.”
I shrugged. “They did research into who I am, who our family is, the guys in Westside. They knew things I’ve never told anyone, about Dad’s addictions and the trouble Preston’s been in. They told me I wasn’t good enough for their daughter.”
My mother’s expression hardened. “They said that?”
I nodded. “Yes. They said I was from a broken home, that your job and Dad’s job weren’t good enough. They belittled everything about us. They think we’re trash.”
“Well, they sound like very small people.”
I shrugged. “I guess. In my mind they’re pretty much assholes.”
“Camden! I did not raise you to talk about other people in that way – although I’m not sure you’re that far off. But in my experience, people who are as judgmental as you say they are aren’t worth your time.”
“I wish it were that simple, but they’re my girlfriend’s parents. I want them to like me.”
“My parents didn’t like your father. They told me not to marry him, but I didn’t listen. I was also pregnant with Preston at the time, so I didn’t exactly have a choice, but it didn’t mean I didn’t love him.”
Yeah, that didn’t really make me feel any better.
“But Grandma and Grandpa were right about Dad.”
“No, they weren’t,” she said pointedly. “For all his faults, I loved your father. He was a good man when he wasn’t drinking or gambling, and because of him, I have you and Preston. No regrets. And eventually your grandparents learned to love him too.”
“I’m not sure that’s going to happen with Andi’s parents. They aren’t those kinds of people. They have a plan for her to marry some doctor she used to date.”
“Well, what does Andi say about everything? How did she respond when they were belittling you? When they said she was going to marry this doctor?”
“She wasn’t there. She was outside, and I didn’t tell her what they said. I didn’t want to.”
“Camden, you need to tell her.”
“Tell her what? That her parents are elitist jerks? What if she agrees with them and says she’d rather be married to a successful doctor who doesn’t have the baggage of a past like mine. I’ll bet he’s never been arrested for fighting.”
My mother raised an eyebrow at me. “Tell me they don’t know about that.”
I shrugged. “They do. Her father knew everything. I’m not sure how he got his intel on us, but he has it.” I shifted my gaze out the window to look at the blanket of white covering the ground. “I think I have to end things with her.”
I hated that it had come to this. The idea made me what to throw up.
“Why?” my mother asked in shock.
I looked back at her. “Because I love her,” I said simply.
My mom nodded once. “I figured you did, which of course is a great reason to break up with her.”
I shot her a look to let her know her sarcasm wasn’t appreciated. “Mom, come on. Don’t do that. This is a hard enough decision without you making me feel bad about it.”
“Okay, fine. Then explain to me why you feel the need to break up with her.”
“Because her relationship with her parents is important. I don’t want her to have to choose, and if she chooses them over me, it’ll tear me apart. I’d rather just make a clean break now.”
“To save yourself the heartache?” my mom questioned.
“Yes”
She shook her head. “That won’t work. If you love her, leaving her will still hurt you.”
I shrugged. “It know, but at least I can put off the inevitable. I can start to get over her now instead of dragging out the pain. And it’ll be on my terms.”
“So you’re willing to hurt Andi?”
I actually hadn’t considered that, and just the thought of it made my chest ache. “I don’t want to. Not at all, but I guess I have to. She’ll get over it. It’s not like we’ve been together that long. Then she can move back to Atlanta and marry her doctor.”
“You’ve been together long enough to fall in love with her,” my mother pointed out. “Does she feel the same way?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably not.”
“So you didn’t tell her you were in love with her?”
“No. You’re actually the first person to know. Congratulations.”
My mom shook her head as she finished making our hot chocolates and brought the full mugs to the table, setting one in front of me. I knew she didn’t appreciate my sarcasm, but she didn’t say anything.
“This is a mistake, Camden,” she said as I took a sip of the warm liquid chocolate laced with whipped cream. “I saw how she looked at you, how the two of you were together. She has strong feelings for you. I’d be careful about believing everything her parents said until you talk to her.”
“But what if she tells me that she had plans all along to move home and get back together with her ex?”
“Then you cross that bridge when you come to it, but keep in mind that even the best laid plans change. She might have thought that was what she wanted, but then she met you.”
“Yeah, like I’m some great prize.”
My mother crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that, because I know for a fact you’ve always had more confidence than that. You’ve always known who you were, you fought against people who tried to get you to change, and you’re been wise beyond your years. You were always my logical thinker while your brother was running wild. Even when you flew across the country to audition for Westside, you knew what you were doing, you knew the risk, you knew the reward, and you knew how hard it would be. Don’t forget that. You might feel bad
today, but don’t lose sight of who you are at your core.”
I shook my head. “I haven’t felt the same since I met Andi. It’s like no matter what she or anyone else says, there’s this inherent fear pulling at the back of my mind telling me that I’m not good enough for her, that she’s going to realize it eventually, and that we’re too different. Everything her parents said wasn’t exactly untrue. There are some things in my past that I’m not proud of.”
“Yeah, well, join the club. Everyone has things in their pasts that they’d rather leave behind. What matters is that Andi loves you in spite of your past. Yes, you grew up differently, but I think I raised you to be a pretty great man, and frankly, all those people who work for Westside took over where I left off. You are a wonderful man, Camden, and I am so proud of who you’ve become. Anyone who can’t see that is blind, and I know Andi sees it.”
I slumped in my chair. “But what about her parents? Their opinion has to matter to her.”
My mom cocked her head to the side in thought. “Andi’s a grown woman. She’s perfectly capable of making her own decisions. What would you say if I told you that I didn’t like her and didn’t want you seeing her?”
“I’d say you were crazy, that you didn’t know her like I did, and I wasn’t going to listen.”
“Exactly. And I have a pretty strong feeling she’ll say the same thing when you talk to her. I spent a good deal of time with her the night you two visited, and she holds you in a higher regard than you think. I don’t think she sees you two as all that different. You need to call her, Camden. You need to talk to her.”
I sighed, knowing I wasn’t ready to do that yet. “I will, but I need time to figure everything out first. I need to think. Can I stay here for a few days?”
“Of course. I’m selfishly glad that you’re going to be with us for Christmas. I don’t get to see you enough, and I know Asher and Ella will love having you here.”
“Thanks Mom.”
“You’re my son, and I love you,” she said simply. “Take all the time you need to sort things out. You always have a place here. And if you want to talk, let me know.”
“Thanks.”
She reached over and ruffled my hair like she had when I was seven. It was somehow comforting.
“So tell me,” she said, her expression tightening. “Is your brother okay?”
Her question caught me off-guard, so I wasn’t sure what to say. What did she know?
“What do you mean?”
She shook her head. “He and Callie came over for dinner last night, and he seemed distracted. He was agitated, and he kept checking his cell phone like he was waiting for something. Is he doing drugs again?”
Fear crept into my veins as I considered that possibility. I had no idea if my brother was using again. I didn’t see him or talk to him enough to know. He had seemed lucid when I’d been around him a few days earlier, but that didn’t mean anything. I was fearful he’d gone back to using because of everything he was dealing with, but I really hoped he hadn’t.
“I don’t know, Mom. I hope he’s still clean – for Callie’s sake, but I’m not sure.”
“Well, they’re coming over tomorrow for dinner, so let me know what you think.”
My stomach felt tight as I thought about how I’d made things more difficult for my brother. I should have just given him the money. If that was why he was acting odd, it made sense, and I could take away his anxiety with one call. I knew I shouldn’t, but I felt like I had to, my obligation to him bigger than my vow to help him stop gambling.
I nodded. “I’ll let you know,” I told my mom. “If he’s using while he’s here, I’ll be able to tell. I always knew when Phillip was high.”
I’d been around too many people in my life who liked drugs, so it was easy for me to know when they were on something. I doubted Andi could say the same thing. It was just one more apparent difference between us that plagued me now more than ever.
“How is Phillip?” my mother asked. “Have you spoken to him?”
I shook my head. “Not yet. He hasn’t wanted to see anyone but Van.”
“He’s probably embarrassed,” she ventured.
“Or pissed. He liked to party and felt it was his right as a musician to be able to do that. He never thought he had a problem. He said he had things under control.”
“Addicts never think that, and I’d say that even if he could control the using for a while, it got out of hand the moment he overdosed.”
I nodded. “This is true. I did what I did because I love him. I hope he sees that eventually. I can deal with him being pissed if he’s clean and alive.”
“You’re a good person, Camden. Don’t forget that. You’ve always been the one to keep your friends and your family safe.”
She didn’t say it, but it was her subtle way of bringing the conversation back around to Andi and her family’s opinion of me. I just wasn’t sure if it was enough.
“I guess.”
She shook her head. “No guessing. It’s the truth. Now why don’t you go take a nap? You look exhausted.”
I ran my hand back through my hair. “I sort of slept like shit last night.”
“I figured. Go get some rest. Tonight we’re going out for Japanese food. I hope that’s okay with you and Christian.”
I nodded. “That sounds great. Chris can eat his weight in sushi, so he’ll be cool with it.”
My mom smiled. “I’m glad to hear it.”
With that, I got up from the table and hiked up the stairs to the guest room. I hadn’t stayed in there in a long time, since I was used to staying at my dad’s house when I visited, but I was in a mindset where I wanted to be close to my family, and nothing sounded better than staying under my mother’s roof. There was a couch in there that Chris could crash on, which I knew he’d be fine with. And it was just for a few days. I was heading back to L.A. after Christmas, and then I’d be in Vegas for New Years’.
I hadn’t been lying to Andi about that – not really. Dillon and I had been asked to host when another celebrity had backed out. I’d just planned on saying no until I needed a reason to say yes. I’d texted Gus on the way to Detroit that I’d do it.
Sleep didn’t come easily since my heart still felt heavy, but eventually I drifted off and got in a few solid hours of rest, which I knew I needed. I woke up to several text messages from Andi, each one resembling a punch to the gut.
I had a few hours until dinner, and ordinarily I might head over to Preston’s gym and get a workout in, but seeing as he wasn’t currently speaking to me, I figured that option was out. Instead I settled for joining my brother and sister and Chris in the family room to watch Home Alone. It was a mindless way to spend the afternoon, which wasn't exactly bad, since my mind was spinning with too many things I wasn’t ready to think about.
Chapter Twenty
Andi
My heart felt like a lead balloon as I checked my phone for the hundredth time to see that Cam hadn’t texted me back. He’d left almost six hours ago, and he hadn’t even let me know he’d arrived safely. I had to assume he did since I hadn’t heard of any plane crashes, and if something had happened to him, his celebrity status dictated that it would be all over the Internet. So at least I knew he was alright, but it only made me feel mildly better. It wasn’t like some great thing was preventing him from contacting me. It was just him deciding not to respond to the numerous texts I’d sent.
“Still no word?” Gabe asked when he came back to the table.
He and Dane had convinced me to go out for afternoon drinks since my mood had been shit since Cam had left.
I shook my head. “No. Nothing.”
“I’m sure he’s busy doing family stuff,” Gabe said, lying through his teeth in an effort to ease the way I was feeling.
“Too busy to even respond to a text?” Dane questioned, and I had to admit, I appreciated his honesty. It was exactly what I was thinking.
“Texting takes two seconds,�
� I agreed as Gabe shot Dane a look that he ignored. “It’s not that. Something’s going on, and Cam isn’t telling me what’s wrong. I don’t know what to think.”
“Did you talk to your parents?” Gabe asked, because I’d called him after Cam had left my room the night before, and I’d shared my theory about how I feared something had happened when we’d left the table.
“I did, but they’re not telling me anything either. I just can’t imagine what they could have said that would have made him want to leave.”
“Maybe it really was his mother wanting him to come home,” Dane ventured. “I know mine would be devastated if I missed Christmas.”
I shrugged. “I believed that until he blew me off for New Years’. I had no idea he’d agreed to make an appearance in Vegas.”
“Maybe he had a good reason for taking the job,” Dane suggested.
“Maybe. Or maybe my parents said something that made him feel bad and he decided staying wasn’t worth it. Do you think they really did that?” I asked Gabe, mulling that idea over in my head. “I honestly thought they liked him.”
I’d known my parents were skeptical about Cam. They weren’t thrilled with what he did for a living and that he didn’t have a college degree, and they didn’t like the media attention he got that ultimately put me in the spotlight. I didn't think any of that was a big deal, but I realized I should have thought about the fact that bringing him home for Christmas with me would signify a seriousness to our relationship, and my parents would assume I was intending to marry him. That couldn’t have been further from the truth – at least not at this juncture – but it was hard to convince them of that.
I was afraid now that they hadn’t given him a chance and that their preconceived views of him had clouded their impression. I hoped like hell that hadn’t happened, because if it did, I wasn’t going to react well. I had no qualms about putting my parents in their place for being elitist assholes.
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