My earlier resolve filtered through my mind, as I tried to push down the anger that had bubbled up inside me when I’d laid eyes on him and took notice of his casually cool demeanor. In fitted jeans, a t-shirt with some sort of graphic on it, and a gray beanie over his dark, wavy hair, he wore the unaffected musician look too well. Fortunately I was well-beyond the point of being attracted to him. Regardless of how sinfully hot he was, looking at him only made my stomach churn and my jaw tighten involuntarily.
“Oh shit. Dillon just saw me. He waved,” Sydney said, getting to her feet.
“What are you doing?” I hissed at her.
“I’m going over to say hi, so they don’t come over here,” she said pointedly. “I can’t very well ignore Dillon. We’re friends.”
I sighed, knowing she was right. And Dillon was a nice guy. I’d sort of vilified him and the other guys from Westside, since they were friends with Van, but in reality they hadn’t done anything to me. Once upon a time we’d all been friends, but I wasn’t about to go over and say hi. Not now.
“I’ll just stay here,” Keri volunteered. “It’s not like I’m great friends with them or anything.”
Keri knew the guys because she worked for them, but they didn’t make a habit of hanging out together. When she was on tour, I knew she hung with the other behind-the-scenes people. Now she’d have me to hang out with, since a lot of what we’d do would be aligned.
I knew part of the reason she also didn’t want to venture over to the guys was that she had a crush on Dillon that she’d never admit to out loud because he had a serious girlfriend. But I’d heard the way she talked about him, and I knew she paid extra attention to the pictures of him she posted online to make sure he was showcased in the right light. She just wasn’t the kind of girl who’d ever think about breaking up a couple who seemed as happy as Dillon Kyle and Meredith Kendrick. Even tonight, as he sat on a couch across the room and she perched on his lap, you could see how in love they were.
“You can go say hi,” I told Keri, secretly wishing she’d stay with me. Being alone left me vulnerable, and I hated that feeling – especially when Van was nearby and enhancing the feeling tenfold.
“Nope. I’m good. I just saw them at rehearsals two days ago. I got some good shots that I posted this morning. I think this tour is really going to be great. This album’s definitely the best one they’ve put out yet, and the energy should be pretty amazing.”
I knew she was talking about insignificant things in an effort to distract me from thinking too hard about Van’s presence across the room. Unfortunately, it wasn’t working.
“Yeah. I think you’re right,” I said absently.
While she’d been talking, I’d snuck a glance across the room and had the unfortunate luck to meet Van’s gaze when I did. His expression was stoic as he watched me, looking up through his thick lashes with eyes that I knew were a really pretty light blue, but the dim light of the club muted their color and made them appear more intense.
I looked away and shook my head, irritated that for the briefest of seconds I remembered how it had felt to gaze into those blue eyes, to get lost in them and to feel them burn into me. It had always felt like Van could see into my soul unlike anyone else, and for that reason alone I’d trusted him. The fact that he’d broken that trust had hurt more because I’d let him in.
“What was that?” Keri asked me, an accusatory tone to her words.
When I looked up at her, she had her arms folded on the table in front of her and was appraising me disdainfully.
“What was what?” I asked innocently.
“You just looked at Van, and he was looking at you,” she said, making a back and forth motion with her finger.
“So,” I said, sounding like a three year-old.
Keri narrowed her eyes at me. “So, I found that interesting.”
“Well, it’s not. It’s not interesting at all. I was just looking at him.”
Keri blinked a few times as she watched me speculatively. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Really?”
“I don’t want to talk about Van,” I said quickly, not answering her question. “Let’s change the subject.”
“Okay,” Keri said skeptically, but I knew she could hear that I was serious about not wanting to continue the conversation. It was seeping into territory I didn’t want to broach. “What do you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know. Anything else. Just pick a random subject.”
“Um, alright, how’s your family? How’s Amy? She hasn’t been over in a while. Is she busy with classes?”
I relaxed as she brought up a subject that was always easy for me to talk about. My younger sister was one of my favorite people. She was a junior at UCLA, and we’d always been close. Even though five years separated us, she was still one of my best friends.
We usually saw each other at least once a week. She tended to come over to my apartment to study when the sorority house she lived in got too loud. She was pre-med, so her class schedule was always insane, and she studied constantly. I hadn’t seen much of her lately, though, due to a distraction named Troy who’d been vying for her attention.
I smiled at Keri. “She’s really good. She has a new boyfriend, so she’s been spending all of her free time with him. I feel like I’ve barely seen her lately, but I did talk her into having lunch with me tomorrow, so I’ll see her before we leave.”
“Sounds like she’s in love. Must be nice.”
I laughed. “I guess.”
“So what’s her new guy like? Have you met him?”
I shook my head. “Not yet, but I did see a picture. His name’s Troy, and he looks like a Troy – all tall and cute and built. She seems happy.”
“Good for her. Tell her I said hi when you see her tomorrow.”
“I will,” I said, and then I sighed, frustrated that I hadn’t sufficiently distracted myself from who was across the room. “Is he looking over here?”
“What? Who? Oh,” Keri said, as everything clicked into place. I saw her look over my shoulder to where Van and his friends were sitting. “No, he’s not. Oh, wait, he just looked.”
Her gaze shifted back to mine, so I looked away, but I felt her continue to watch me.
“What’s going on with you?” she asked me.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Do you have feelings for Van or something?” she asked, and the question made my stomach clench
“No!” I said quickly, probably too quickly for her to believe that I was telling the truth.
But I was. I had no feelings for Van whatsoever, except those of extreme dislike and disdain. He was a jerk. It was just hard to avoid looking at him when he was twenty feet away, and his presence alone felt suffocating. It was even harder when I was remembering what a good kisser he was, even if it was the last thing I wanted to think about.
Maybe it was time for me to remedy my situation.
I stood up before Keri could say anything else, deciding I was done hiding. I wasn’t some weak girl who should feel like she had to shrink into the background just because a guy she used to date was nearby. I was better than that, and I wasn’t going to let Van have control over me for another second.
“Are you leaving?” Keri asked me. “Because I was only half-serious when I asked if you had feelings for him.”
I shook my head. “I’m not leaving,” I said as I picked up my drink and downed the rest of it in one gulp. It was my third, and it was strong, but I didn’t mind. A little liquid courage was exactly what I needed. “I’m going downstairs to dance. Want to come?”
“Uh, I guess. But what about Syd?”
I followed her gaze over to where Sydney was laughing and talking with Meredith and the guys from Westside. They were sitting close to the stairs that led from the VIP area downstairs to the rest of the club.
“We’ll tell her what we’re doing on our way by.”
“Okay,” Keri s
aid, seeming a little dazed as she started to follow me.
I felt my nerves multiply tenfold the closer we got to Van and his bandmates, but I kept my resolve strong, so on the outside I appeared cool and confident. Sydney was listening to something Phillip was saying as we approached, so I leaned down to whisper in her ear that we were going downstairs.
“Do you want me to come with you?” she asked.
“If you want,” I told her as nonchalantly as possible, hoping if she did join us that she wouldn’t invite the guys.
I was planning on flirting with the first cute guy I saw, and it would be hard for me to do that with Van nearby. He already messed with my head enough as it was.
“Maybe I’ll come down in a few,” Sydney told me.
“Sounds good,” I said, standing up straight as I forced myself to make eye contact with everyone.
“Hey guys. Hey Meredith,” I said politely, refusing to look at Van.
He was way too close, and I was fearful of what memories might shoot into my brain if he made eye contact with me from three feet away.
Meredith got to her feet and embraced me like an old friend, and I supposed we had been friends at one point. We hadn’t kept in touch after I’d stopped talking to Van, but I’d always liked her.
“Elisa,” she said warmly, taking my hands in hers as she pulled back from the hug, smiling at me. “Great to see you. I hear you’re going on tour with the guys. Is that true?”
“It’s true. I’m in charge of promotions.”
“That’s so great. The guys are lucky to have you on their team, although I heard it’s only for this tour.”
“She’s mine,” Sydney said, staking her claim and making everyone laugh. “You guys can borrow her, but I get her back when you’re done.”
I looked down and met her smile. “You know you’re my number one priority, sweetie,” I told her, and she blew me a kiss.
“Well, I’m happy about it,” Meredith said. “We’ll have to hang out when I meet up with you guys. After graduation, I’m officially signing on as a groupie for the summer, and I’m going to need some girl time.”
“You got it,” I promised her, even though I had a feeling I’d be doing what I could to lay low and avoid the band when I wasn’t working.
Meredith beamed at me, and then she leaned forward and air-kissed my cheek. “I guess I’ll see you soon.”
“Sounds good. See you guys later,” I said to the larger group, wanting to keep the interaction as brief as possible.
I heard a chorus of, “See ya’s” from the guys, but I wasn’t sure if Van was among them. I also wasn’t sure why I cared, and as soon as I gave it more than a few seconds’ thought, I forced myself to stop. I took Keri’s hand and led her down the stairs.
“That was kind of awkward,” she yelled over the amped up version of the Sia song pulsing overhead.
I shrugged as nonchalantly as possible. “I guess.”
I had a feeling being around Van was going to be awkward for a while. It was just how things were.
“Van was looking at you the whole time,” she said, telling me exactly what I didn’t need to know.
“Okay,” I said, as if that didn’t bother me in the least. “Whatever. I don’t want to talk about him. Let’s find cute boys to dance with.”
Keri grinned. “Now you’re speaking my language.”
I grinned back at her and pulled her hand above my head as I tugged her out to the dance floor. Nothing better to get boys to pay attention than two girls dancing together, and Keri and I knew how to work it. We’d also borrowed dresses from Sydney for the night, so the extra confidence we got from the sexy designer duds didn’t hurt.
It wasn’t long before we had two guys show interest, and I broke away from Keri to dance with a blond surfer with a deep tan and dimples on both cheeks. He was way cute, and completely my type with floppy hair that looked like he’d just rolled off the beach. I’d always liked my guys a little more rugged, and this guy definitely delivered. Add his chiseled chest and arms to the mix, and he was exactly the kind of guy I needed to distract me.
We danced for a while until he asked if I wanted a drink by gesturing toward the bar. I looked over at Keri, who was dancing with his friend, and nodded my head toward the bar. She smiled and turned back to her guy, who had his arms wrapped around her waist. She looked like she was having fun.
“What’s your name?” surfer guy asked me over the baseline pumping through the air around us after he’d ordered our drinks.
“Elisa,” I replied loudly, hoping he could hear me.
“I’m Kevin.”
I smiled. “Nice to meet you, Kevin.”
“You’re really hot.”
“Thanks. You are too.”
He flashed me a perfect smile before he turned to take our drinks off the bar and handed mine to me. “Are you from here?”
I nodded. “Born and raised. You?”
He shook his head. “La Jolla. We’re just in town for a few days for a competition. I’m a surfer.”
I smiled. “I sort of figured that. Cool job.”
He shrugged. “It pays the bills, and I get to wear a wetsuit to work. It’s not bad. What do you do?”
I took a deep breath, wondering how much I should reveal about what I did. I was usually more guarded with people I just met, not wanting to share so much about myself right off the bat. But I was suddenly feeling bold and decided I’d probably never see Kevin again so what did it matter what I told him.
“I’m in PR. I’m actually doing promotions for Westside’s tour that kicks off tomorrow.”
He nodded. “That’s a band, right?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“That’s cool. I’ve heard of them. I’m not really into their music, but being on tour sounds kind of awesome.”
“It is fun,” I said as nonchalantly as possible. “It’ll be a lot of work, but I’m okay with that.”
“Then tonight we should celebrate,” Kevin said, getting a gleam in his eye that I could decipher fairly easily.
“I agree,” I told him and clinked my glass against his, playing into his casual nature even though I was fairly sure I wasn’t going to deliver on what I knew he wanted.
I’d let him think I was, though, because at the end of the day I needed to loosen up and have fun. It was my last night of freedom for a while. Why shouldn’t I have a little harmless fun with a cute guy? If nothing else, it would distract me from the dark-haired guy in the VIP room who I didn’t want to think about. I knew I needed that distraction more than anything.
Chapter Four
Van
My head wasn’t in the game at all. I wasn’t ready to be on stage in a few hours, and I sure as hell wasn’t ready to paste a smile on my face and meet our overly eager fans. Normally I loved that shit. I ate up the attention and the accolades and the praise, but tonight I didn’t feel like doing any of it.
Maybe it was the four interviews we’d done back to back or the fact that I had a splitting headache that wouldn’t go away because I’d been up until dawn drinking whiskey since I couldn’t sleep. I wished I was back in Tahoe, in my secluded house where I could breathe in the mountain air and get lost in the silence. I didn’t have that in Los Angeles. Even in the Hollywood Hills where I had a modicum of solitude, it didn’t compare to the twenty wooded acres I owned at the base of the Sierra Nevadas. I missed home. I never felt at ease as I did when I was there, and when my mind was racing and I was fairly close to pissed off, I needed that feeling of ease and comfort.
Not that being home would have helped. It probably wouldn’t have helped at all to be honest, but it sure beat sitting around my house wishing things were different and not knowing exactly what that meant. Doing that just felt counterproductive. At least at home I could head up to the mountain with my board and get lost amidst the other skiers and snowboarders. I could feel the wind rush past me, and I could drown out the sounds that had kept me awake the night before.
I had half a mind to slide up behind her, wrap my arms around her waist and pull her back against me. She was making me insane with want, and all I could remember was what it had been like to be the guy who got to hold her in his arms, to be the one to slide her dress from her body, and to run his hands over her bare skin. I desperately wanted to be that guy again for no other reason than she looked like walking sex.
Had she really been that hot when we’d dated? Sure, she’d been sexy, but that sweet side she had always made her seem a little more innocent. That innocence appeared to be long gone, and everything about her screamed sex. I was so turned on by the time we left the club that the only thing I could think to do was call Blair. I needed some sort of release, or I was going to lose my mind.
Usually sex with Blair was an adventure, but for a reason that frustrated me beyond belief, I had a hard time getting into it – which had never happened before. But my mind was elsewhere, thinking of other things and other people. The knockout brunette with her lips wrapped around my dick wasn’t at the forefront of my mind, which I realized after about two minutes, and made me feel like a complete asshole. I was thinking of another girl, even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself. No way was I going to let Blair suck me off when Elisa was consuming my mind. I wasn’t that guy.
So I’d forced myself into the moment and pulled Blair to standing, turned her and laid her out on my bed. I made sure my eyes were locked with hers and my attention was on her as I slid into her and finished what she’d started. She fell asleep soon after we both came, and I drifted out to the deck, not tired in the least.
Westside Series Box Set Page 45