Keri and I had flown to Dallas where the buses had traveled from Austin after our last show. As soon as we’d landed, it was like the air had gotten thicker. I was back in work mode, and my mind was on the big fragrance launch we had coming up in a few days. There was still a lot to do, and I’d be working like crazy to make sure everything was ready.
I’d known it would be like that when we got back, so I’d tried to relax as much as I could during my time off from work. Keri and I felt more than lucky to have full access to Sydney’s house in Malibu, since we weren’t fortunate enough to live near the ocean, and our apartment was a little sad in comparison. Sydney’s house was like our own private resort, and after spending three days there, I was feeling decently relaxed and sporting a fairly nice tan.
My tan would have been better had I taken Van up on his offer to spend the week in Mexico – not that I could have taken the time off of work, but that was beside the point. I was trying not to think about the fact that a part of me wished I could have accepted his offer, even though I knew doing that would have been a terrible idea. The problem was, after being away from him for a week, I sort of found myself missing him.
I’d assumed that I’d be relieved to be away from him, to have a week off from him tracking me down and talking to me and annoying me to no end, but after getting used to seeing him every day, I found it weird that he wasn’t around. I’d even taken to looking for him, expecting him to pop up with that stupid, adorable grin on his face and a question on his lips about how my day was going, what I was doing, and if we could be friends yet.
I realized that he’d wormed his way into my life without me even knowing it, and no matter how strong my convictions might have been when the break had started, they weren’t nearly as strong as I wanted them to be. Sadly, I was looking forward to seeing him again.
I’d even gone as far as to click on the daily media updates I got about the band. Katherine had it set up that whenever the band or one of the guys was mentioned on the Internet, it filtered back to an inbox that was manned by Corinne and Leslie, two members of the Westside PR team. They were then responsible for sorting out the mentions, summarizing them, and sending out daily recaps to the entire team. I’d gotten used to seeing the updates in my inbox.
Because the guys were so popular and mentioned so frequently, I usually just skimmed the headlines for anything that might possibly impact them that I’d have to deal with, but over the break I’d found myself looking at the pictures that were attached, reading the articles, and then examining the images of Van more than the others.
The media had caught him and Phillip arriving in Mexico and signing autographs for fans. They’d been accompanied by Blair Thomas and a friend of hers, which made me wonder if Van had been lying when he’d said he and Blair weren’t all that serious. They were obviously serious enough for him to bring her to Mexico. Then I wondered where I factored into the equation. If he was seeing her, and he was pursuing me – to the point where he’d gone so far as to ask me to go to Mexico with him – what did that mean? Had he asked me first, and had she been a secondary option? Or had he known that I wouldn’t go and planned to bring her all along?
More importantly, why did I care? I wasn’t interested in Van.
Or at least I tried to tell myself that I wasn’t interested in him, but then I found myself thinking about him at the most random moments. I hadn’t thought about him at all for years, and now that he was back in my life, he seemed to be always on my mind.
That realization unsettled me. I didn’t even want to think about what it meant, and I definitely wasn’t ready to deal with the fact that I might actually be changing my mind about him. It was a little hard to swallow, almost like my head and my heart weren’t working in tandem. I knew better than to get involved with him in any way, shape, or form, but it was like all of a sudden, a part of me didn’t want to listen to my own advice.
“Home sweet home,” I said to Keri as I followed her onto the bus.
Lucas and Holly, two members of our team, were already there, but it looked like Brent wasn’t back yet. He and I were scheduled to have a strategy session at four, so I hoped he was on his way. We had a lot to do before the night’s events kicked off at six.
“I should have gotten a Starbucks at the airport,” Keri lamented after we’d said hi to Lucas and Holly and started to put our things away. “I need caffeine.”
“I saw a coffee shop across the street. We could walk over there,” I suggested.
Keri sighed. “It’s so hot outside,” she grumbled.
“You’ll be fine,” I told her, but I was honestly glad I was wearing a strapless sundress.
The brutal Texas heat hadn’t been kind when we’d walked outside at DFW and it had hit us square in the face. I’d peeled off the hoodie I’d worn on the plane and stuffed it in my backpack almost immediately. The cab hadn’t been much better with the windows down and hot air blowing in because the air conditioning was apparently broken. In all honestly, an iced latte sounded pretty great.
“I need caffeine too bad to say no,” Keri said as she shoved her suitcase into the small space below her bunk.
I slid mine in next to hers and tossed my iPad into my bunk. I wished we were staying at a hotel, but we were leaving that night for New Orleans, so no such luck.
“Come on,” I said to her, and we made our way through the bus, only stopping to invite Lucas and Holly to come with us.
They were engrossed in an action movie, so they declined, and Keri and I ventured out into the heat. It was early, so no one was really out around the arena. We paused at the street, waiting for the traffic to clear, and I felt my phone buzz in my hand. I looked down to see a text from a number I didn’t recognize.
Are you back?
I was irritated with myself when my first thought was that it was Van. I hated how that thought made me feel, and my heart was pounding in my chest as I typed back a response.
Who is this?
Sorry. It’s Jamie. I got your number from our manager. I hope that’s okay.
I smiled, feeling a mix of relief and disappointment. Jamie was a sweetheart, and we’d had fun the night we’d spent at the bar drowning our sorrows in alcohol. I’d woken up with a hangover from hell, but it had been completely worth it. And deep down, I really was relieved that Van wasn’t texting me. I think. I honestly wasn’t sure.
Hey you! How was your week? I sent back to Jamie.
The guys from Trick Shot had stayed in Austin for the week, so Jamie had stayed too. I knew they had plans to check out some live music and had a few shows booked at smaller venues around the city. They were still starting out and trying to make a name for themselves, so Jamie explained that they played pretty much whenever they could. They didn’t get the luxury of taking a week off like Westside did.
It was great. We had good draws both nights the band played, so that was cool. And we had fun hanging out in the city. You?
I smiled. I worked and I relaxed. It was a good week.
And now it’s back to the grind?
I laughed as Keri and I started to cross the street. She looked over at me to see what was so funny.
If you can call it that – best job in the world as far as I’m concerned.
Agreed.
I looked up just as Keri was opening the door to the coffee shop and narrowly avoided running into the door. Maybe it wasn’t the best time to be texting.
Hey, I’m grabbing coffee with Keri, I texted to Jamie. Can we catch up later?
Absolutely. I’ll see you at dinner.
Deal.
“And who was that?” Keri asked coyly as we got in line.
“It was just Jamie – you know, the guy does all of Trick Shot’s web stuff?”
“The hot blond who’s always backstage but doesn’t talk much, and when he does his accent is sooooo sexy?” she questioned, her eyes lighting up in excitement.
“That’s him – I think.”
Jamie was cu
te, and his accent was sexy, but I didn’t really think of him in the way she was describing. He was just a friend.
“Ah,” she said, as if she knew something I didn’t. I had a feeling she thought she knew way more than she did.
“What?” I asked her.
“Since when did you start texting with Mr. Australia?”
I shrugged. “We’re friends. We met when we were in Austin. Remember how I told you I had to escape Van, so I told him I was going to the bar to meet someone?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I happened to run into Jamie at the bar, and we drank and talked and got to know each other. He’s a really nice guy.”
“And he’s hot as hell.”
“He’s also getting over a break-up,” I pointed out.
“So he’s vulnerable,” Keri deduced, sounding way too conniving for my taste.
I shook my head. “He’s just a friend,” I assured her. “I’m not interested in him in that way.”
“Sure you’re not,” she said as we stepped forward in line.
“Trust me. I’m not,” I told her,
“Because you’re interested in someone else?” she prompted, never one to give up.
I knew exactly what she was hinting at. I might have been more vocal than normal about the Westside PR updates I’d read each day of the break, and I knew I’d commented on what Van and Phillip were doing in Mexico more than once. I was pretty sure Keri was on to me.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I told her, hoping to tell her without coming out and saying it, that Van and what was going through my head about him were the last things I wanted to talk about. I was trying to pretend it wasn’t happening.
I went ahead and ordered drinks for both of us before Keri could say anything else.
“That’ll be eight seventy-two,” the barista told me, but when I went to hand him my debit card, someone behind me said, “I’ll get their drinks.”
I knew that voice, and apparently so did my body, since it reacted exactly how I didn’t want it to react at the knowledge that Van was standing behind me.
“Did you miss me?” he asked, his lips suddenly right by my ear.
I shivered at his closeness. How long had he been standing there?
“Hi Van,” I heard Keri say, and then I heard him shush her.
“Oh, sorry,” she whispered, probably realizing that he wasn’t in the mood to be recognized.
It was ballsy for him to venture outside this close to a concert anyway, since there could be fans hanging around the venue. He was running the risk of being mobbed if he wasn’t careful.
“So, that’s it? You’re just going to ignore me?” Van asked me, and I felt him take a step back.
I let out the breath I’d been holding as he put space between us, and then I heard him talking to the barista, ordering two iced coffees.
He must have realized he was holding up the line. I should have moved. I should have walked to the end of the counter where the baristas were putting the drinks after they made them, but my feet were stuck to the floor as Van paid and thanked the barista. Then his hand was on my lower back, guiding me to the left where Keri was already waiting, and it felt like fire was spreading from the spot where he was touching me, breaching the thin fabric of my cotton sundress.
I stepped away and finally turned to him, swallowing back the giddy nervousness I felt at being so close to him. This wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all.
Van grinned at me, his blue eyes sparkling, and behind him I saw Marshall, his bodyguard, step out of his shadow so he could talk to Keri. That left Van’s complete attention on me, and with as delectable as he looked with a white UNR hat on his head, his dark hair curling out from under it, and a lopsided grin on his tan face, I was having a hard time not reacting to his presence.
I’d missed him. I really had, and there was really no use in denying it. I’d never admit it to him, but it was a painful truth I finally had to admit to myself.
“Hi Elisa,” he said softly, which only made my heart rate speed up to the point where I could feel it pounding in my ears.
“Hi,” I said, not able to say much more than that.
Van shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans, which only pronounced the muscles in his upper arms that were partially swathed by the sleeves of his white t-shirt. Why did he have to be so sexy all the time? It was like no matter what he did or what he wore, he oozed sex appeal. Maybe it was just me, or maybe it was just him, but I had a feeling I was doomed to be attracted to him for all eternity.
“So, you’re getting coffee,” he said, stating the obvious.
“I needed caffeine,” I told him, my voice sounding much softer than normal.
He smiled. “Me too. I guess we always did have that addiction in common. So, did you have a nice week?”
“I did.”
I figured using as few words as possible was probably my best bet. It would save me from saying anything I might regret later.
“That’s good. You look tan. Did you go to the beach?”
Okay, this was weird. Aside from his comment about our mutual caffeine addiction, he wasn’t really flirting with me. He was making small talk. He was being polite, and there didn’t seem to be a hidden agenda behind his words. I wasn’t sure what to think about that after a solid month of flirtatious comments and overt gestures that I figured led to one thing and one thing only in his mind.
“I actually did,” I told him. “Syd’s house is on the beach, so I hung out there a lot.”
He nodded. “I’ve been there. So, she’s back in town?”
I shook my head. “No, she’s in Florida for another month, but I have a key.”
He looked impressed. “That’s a nice friend if she lets you have a key to her house.”
“She’s a good person.”
“I agree.”
Okay, this was seriously weird.
“So how was Mexico?” I asked him, feeling like I needed to keep this somewhat odd conversation going.
I wasn’t sure what else to do, and our drinks weren’t ready. Talking definitely beat standing there and awkwardly staring at each other.
“It was good,” he said, not elaborating any further.
“Good. That’s good,” I said as I heard my name called.
I turned to pick my drink up off the counter. I noticed Keri do the same. The guys were still waiting on their drinks, so I turned back to Van.
“We, uh, need to get back. I have some work to do before the show. Thanks for the coffee.”
He smiled. “Anytime.”
“Okay, well, bye.”
“Bye Lis.”
I felt my heart skip a beat when he used his nickname for me. I wasn’t sure if it was just that he couldn’t help it or if he meant something by it, which would mean his attempt at a genuine conversation had been a ruse for what he’d really wanted all along. He’d just changed tactics. I wasn’t sure what to think, or in truth, what I wanted the answer to be, but in walking away from him, I knew one thing – I was more confused than ever.
When I met Keri at the door, she was giving me a self-satisfied look, but when she saw my face, concern washed over her features. “What’s wrong?”
I looked back over my shoulder to see Van laughing at something Marshall had said.
When I turned back to Keri, I said, “Van didn’t flirt with me – at least I don’t think he did.”
“What do you mean?”
I shook my head, still thrown from our somewhat normal interaction. “He was nice and he asked me about my week, but he didn’t flirt. It was weird.”
“That’s great!” Keri said cheerfully. “That’s what you wanted, right?”
“Yeah, definitely,” I said, but even to me it sounded halfhearted.
“I mean, you’ve been complaining for a month that he won’t leave you alone, so maybe now he’s going to. That’s good news.”
“Yeah, it is,” I said, my voice still sounding flat.
“Or is it?” Keri questioned.
Not sure what to say, I took a sip of my latte to buy time.
Keri looked over at me in question. “Elisa?”
I shrugged because I didn’t know what to say.
“You like him,” she deduced, sounding confused but not surprised at the same time.
“No, I don’t,” I said quickly, because regardless of what I was feeling for Van in that moment and how much I might have missed him, I couldn’t equate that to liking him in the way she meant. I wouldn’t do it.
“You so do,” she accused. “Where the hell did that come from?”
“I don’t know! It didn’t come from anywhere. I don’t like him,” I said emphatically.
I heard Keri take a deep breath as we paused to make sure it was safe to cross the street. I looked back to see if Van and Marshall were behind us. They weren’t. They must have stayed at the coffee shop. It was a good thing too, since I definitely wouldn’t have wanted Van to overhear our conversation.
“It’s okay if you do,” Keri said softly. “I mean, I know he hurt you, and I know I said he was a jerk, but in all honesty, everything between you guys happened a long time ago.”
That was the same thing Jamie had said. It was what a lot of people had said, but time didn’t heal all wounds, and it didn’t bring back trust when it was lost.
“I don’t want to talk about this,” I said firmly, shaking my head. “It’s a non-issue. I don’t like Van. Yes, he’s cute, but I’ve always thought that. And yes, I’m attracted to him, but I don’t like him. I don’t.”
“Okay, I believe you,” Keri said, rubbing my shoulder.
“Thank you.”
We walked in silence the rest of the way to the bus, and I was grateful to see Brent lugging his suitcase up the steps. Losing myself in work would be a great distraction so I didn’t let my imagination run away from me. Who the hell knew where it would take me. I was honestly afraid to find out.
God, I was a mess.
* * *
That night we had our normal meet and greet before the concert, but instead of a wink or a flirtatious comment when he passed by me, all I got from Van was a smile. And afterward, he didn’t stick around and try to talk to me. He just left with his bandmates. I honestly wasn’t sure what to think. It was so so out of character for him.
Westside Series Box Set Page 53