And it had been a fantastic idea up until two minutes ago. Now I wasn’t sure what to do, and Veronica’s presence was an annoying reminder as she sidled up next to me and linked her arm through mine. All I could think about was the fact that I’d poured my heart out to Elisa at the launch party, and she’d been so repulsed by the idea that she’d lied about dating someone else. That was fucked up, and it made me feel about two inches tall. She must have really been disgusted by the idea of being with me if she’d felt the need to flat out lie. I was in love with her, and she didn’t even want to be around me. Fuck. Clarity sucked.
“Where’d your friends go?” Veronica asked me.
“The bar,” I said flatly.
“Cool, let’s go join them.”
I shook my head. “Nah, that’s okay. They’re not really my friends anyway.”
“O-kay, well, I want a cocktail, so if you don’t want to go to the hotel bar, would you settle for the bar on the pool deck?”
“Sure.”
“Geez, Van, control your excitement,” she said, as she dragged me toward the hotel. “I only have thirty minutes before I have to leave. Let’s make the most of it.”
I stopped short as her words registered with me. “You’re leaving? What?”
She stopped and turned toward me. “Yeah, I am,” she said, sounding moderately guilty. “My agent needs me to attend this premiere tonight. He said it’ll be really good for publicity, and I figured you wouldn’t mind if I left.”
“But you’re my date. I assumed that equated to you staying for the duration of the wedding, including the reception.”
Veronica grinned. “Well, I probably would have if you needed me, but you obviously don’t.”
“Yeah, I kind of do,” I insisted.
“Please. As soon as I take off, you can go talk to that cute blond you were talking to earlier – the one you obviously have a thing for.”
“I don’t – she’s not – what are you talking about?”
“Oh, Van, you’re so transparent. I was watching you from across the beach, and when she walked away, you looked like your dog had died. I get it, and I think it’s great. She seems really sweet, and considering how not excited she was to see me with you, I think you’ve got a pretty good chance.”
I ran my hand back through my hair as I let out a sigh. No way was I talking to Elisa. Not now. I was actually wondering how I might be able to get out of going to the reception. It was sort of the last place I wanted to be at that point. But I also knew that wasn’t an option. I was going to have to suck it up and act like I was having fun. In all honesty, a little alcohol to numb what I was feeling didn’t sound like the worst idea in the world. It might be the only thing that would get me through the night.
“Fine. Let’s drink until you have to leave,” I agreed.
“And then you’ll talk to the blond?”
“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” I told Veronica, because the last thing I wanted to do was explain to her why I was never going to talk to Elisa. I was a glutton for punishment where she was concerned, but even I wasn’t that stupid. I knew when it was time to bow out.
* * *
Three hours later, I was thinking about calling it a night. My mood was shit, and although Marshall was decent company, I figured I was probably making his night worse. It was bad enough that he had to trail me wherever I went. I knew it had to be super-boring for him, but I knew it was worse when I was winning prizes for being the most anti-social person in the room.
Most of my night had been spent watching Elisa from across the room as she’d laughed and talked with the people at her table and even danced with a few guys. I was jealous as hell, and I wondered just how long it was going to take me to get over her. I was ready to be there. I was ready to stop caring. I was ready to move on.
I’d been drinking steadily all night, but I wasn’t even close to drunk, and leaving was sounding more and more appealing with each passing second. Watching Elisa had been a painful game that had been less than fun, and I hadn’t even seen her for the past thirty minutes. I didn’t know where she’d disappeared to, and a part of me didn’t want to know. Imagining her with another guy only made me feel worse.
As I drained the last of my beer, I set my glass on the table with a clunk and turned to Marshall. “I’m going to hit the head, and then we can go. Cool?”
“Before they cut the cake? I was kind of looking forward to cake.”
“I’ll buy you a whole cake on the way home if you’ll leave with me now,” I offered.
The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Yeah, okay. That’s a good deal.”
“Alright, I’ll be right back.”
“Need me to come with?” he offered.
I shook my head. “Nah. I figure any fans who are here have already had their fill with me. I should be good.”
Marshall smiled. “Watch out for the flower girl. She was a little handsy with you earlier.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “That’s gross. She’s like eight.”
He shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
“Yeah, yeah. I got it.”
He wasn’t wrong. The flower girl had looked innocent enough, but she hadn’t wanted to stop hugging me. It got a little uncomfortable when her dad had approached, wondering who I was and why his daughter had her arms wrapped around me. She’d cleared things up quickly, but then she kept winking and smiling at me, which was just downright awkward. I’d done my best to humor her and not let her think anything more of our interaction than it really was.
Then she’d begged me to dance with her, so I’d complied, hoping she’d get her fill after that. She’d smiled the whole time, which made me feel like I was doing a good deed, but when I’d hugged her after the dance, she’d actually squeezed my ass. It caught me so off-guard that I’d jumped back in surprise, which made her giggle. Then she blew me a kiss and darted back to her parents’ table, looking over her shoulder and grinning at me a few times. Having your ass grabbed by a child is not fun – ever – so I did what I could to avoid her after that. I hadn’t seen her in about an hour, so I hoped I was in the clear.
Just as I was leaving the men’s room, I stopped short when out of the corner of my eye I saw Elisa come out of the ladies room. She was swiping under her eyes and looked like she’d been crying. Before I could stop myself, I cross the space between us.
“Are you okay?” I asked her, my eyes searching hers for some indication that she was okay, that she wasn’t really crying, and her allergies were just acting up.
She looked up in surprise and blinked a few times as she registered who was standing in front of her. “Hi,” she said softly.
“Are you okay?” I repeated, because her red-rimmed eyes were telling me that she wasn’t affected by the pollen in the air. She’d definitely been crying.
She gave me a weak nod, which only increased my worry.
“What happened?”
I watched her take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m fine. I just got into an argument with Amy. It’s fine.”
“About what?”
Her expression twisted as she said, “Troy hit on me, and I told her about it. She didn’t believe me. She got pissed and she accused me of trying to sabotage her relationship.”
“He hit on you?”
Elisa nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, he did. I went outside to get some air, and he came up behind me. He put his hands on my shoulders, and he told me I looked beautiful. Then he leaned in and kissed my neck.” She shivered. “When I first turned around, I thought maybe he had Amy and me confused, and when he saw it was me, he’d realize his mistake, but he just smiled at me like he was undressing me with his eyes. He said Amy was drunk, and he knew she’d be no fun tonight because she’d just pass out when they got home. He said I looked like I’d be fun and asked if I was interested in keeping the party going. It was so creepy.”
I felt the anger bubble up inside me as I processed her words. “That dick! Where is he?”
“They left.”
“How long ago?” I demanded, wondering if I’d be able to catch them.
I had the sudden urge to go after that asshole and put him in his place. Not only had he made Elisa uncomfortable, but he’d apparently had no qualms about hurting Amy. Those were two girls you didn’t mess with in my book.
“Ten minutes ago,” she said softly. “You’ll never catch them.”
I might be able to,” I said, looking over my shoulder.
Elisa shook her head. “Don’t bother,” she said, sounding defeated. “He’s not worth it.”
“But he was going to cheat on Amy,” I said, appalled that Elisa wasn’t more upset about that.
“Yeah, well, I told her what he did, and she chose not to believe me. I’m her sister, and I’ve never lied to her before, but she still thought I was being dishonest.”
“Why would you even lie about something like that?”
She shrugged. “Amy has her reasons for thinking that.”
“I don’t get it,” I said, my brow furrowing in confusion.
“She has some convoluted idea in her head that I’m not happy, so I’m trying to take away her happiness. She thinks I’m jealous.”
Of Troy?
That was the first thought that came to mind, but I figured I wouldn’t go there. It wouldn’t help matters for me to insult Amy’s boyfriend. We both knew he was a jackass.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I said instead. “You’d never try to sabotage her happiness. What do you have to not be happy about anyway?”
Elisa took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face. “It doesn’t matter. Hopefully she’ll see what kind of guy he is before he has the chance to really hurt her.”
“And if she doesn’t?” I asked, my protective instincts toward Amy kicking in.
Elisa sighed. “I don’t know. I just hope it doesn’t happen.”
“Me either,” I said, all the while thinking of the things I’d do to Troy if he really did hurt Amy. “Is she okay?”
Aside from her boyfriend being an asshole, Amy had seemed different to me. Granted, I hadn’t seen her in a few years, but she looked almost weary, even when she was smiling.
Elisa shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think she’s great, and other times I worry like hell about her. I know her classes are really tough, and she spends more time than most people studying, but I think that comes with being pre-med. I was happy when she started dating Troy, because she didn’t have great balance in her life, but I’m not sure he’s really doing anything to help her. From what she’s told me, he’s pretty demanding of her time, and I think it’s wearing on her. I’m not sure she even sees what a jerk he is.”
I nodded. “Sometimes we have blinders on because we don’t want to see the truth.”
Elisa bit her lip. “I hate to admit that I know what that’s like,” she said, shifting her gaze so she was looking up at me through her lashes. It was like I could feel the weight of her words falling on my shoulders.
“Are you talking about me?” I asked her, my stomach clenching as I waited for her to respond.
“Does it matter?” she finally said, but the look on her face told me otherwise.
I hated that look. “Lis, I’m not that guy anymore. Trust me. I know I was a selfish prick. I let shit go to my head, and I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. You have to believe me.”
“I know you didn’t. You know, I think it was probably for the best that everything happened like it did. We never would have worked as a couple, and I think we both realize that now.”
We do?
“You really believe that?” I asked her, my eyebrows knitted together in irritation at hearing the finality in her words.
She shrugged. “I do. Too much was against us back then.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets as I waited for her to say more, but she didn’t elaborate. I wasn’t sure she needed to, though. I knew what she meant. I hadn’t been ready to have a girlfriend back then. I would have ruined things eventually. I would have fucked up. All of those things were true, and I’d so blatantly proved them to her when I had ruined everything.
There was so much that I wanted to say, to defend how I’d changed, but I’d already told her that. I thought I’d proven it, but if she wasn’t going to let herself see it, there wasn’t much else I could do. This conversation felt like the final nail in the coffin. Maybe we weren’t ever going to be more than friends, and maybe I should be okay with that. Maybe I should just be grateful.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked her, figuring that was my cue to leave her alone.
She smiled. “I am. Thank you for checking on me.”
“You’re welcome,” I said as I drank in her features that I’d memorized long ago.
I was fearful we weren’t going to be this close again, and I wanted to remember what it was like to have this intimate moment with her. I had a feeling things were going to shift back to how they’d been once we got back to the tour, and it was probably for the best. She wasn’t going to give me another chance. She didn’t want to, and I had to accept that.
“I guess I’ll see you in Atlanta,” I told her.
She nodded. “See you there,” she said softly.
I wanted to hug her, but that didn’t feel like a good thing to want, so instead I turned and started to walk back to the ballroom.
“Van?”
“Yeah?” I said, stopping to look over my shoulder at her.
I’d stop anytime she said my name, no matter the reason. I’d always come when she called.
“Are you having a nice time tonight?”
I forced a smile on my face. “Considering my date bailed, and it’s just Marshall and me, yeah, sure, I’m having the time of my life,” I said sarcastically.
“Veronica left?”
I nodded. “She had a premiere to go to.”
“A premiere? Tonight?”
I could hear the confusion in her words. What kind of a date was Veronica if she bailed on me for a movie premiere? Of course she wasn’t that kind of date from the start.
“We were just here as friends,” I told Elisa. “It wasn’t a real date.”
“No?”
I shook my head. “Nah, I just didn’t want to come alone.”
I wasn’t sure why I was being so honest. I guess I figured I had nothing left to lose.
“I would have come with you,” she said, taking me by surprise. “Had you asked me.”
“You would have?” I asked, not sure what turn this conversation was taking, but I was suddenly desperate to find out.
She nodded. “Yes.”
“But I thought you were going with Jamie,” I reminded her.
“I know. I’m sorry about that. I should have told you the truth.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Elisa looked contemplative for a few seconds as I waited for her to tell me the truth, no matter how harsh it might be.
“Would you like to dance?” she asked when she finally spoke up.
“Dance?” I repeated, wondering if I’d heard her correctly. She hadn’t answered my question, but if she was really asking me to dance, I honestly didn’t care.
Part of me expected her face to scrunch up in confusion as she clarified what she’d really said. But that didn’t happen. Instead her lips turned up at the corners in a soft smile.
“Yes, dance,” she said resolutely. “You know, to music, on the dance floor, with everyone else who’s attending this wedding?”
“Yes,” I said, almost before she finished her sentence. A part of me wanted to know why she’d asked, but in all honesty, I really didn’t need to know. My answer wasn’t going to change.
My heart pounded in my chest as I walked back to where she stood, closing the gap I’d created when I’d started to walk away.
“Okay,” she said, reaching for my hand. “Let’s dance.”
In spite of everything, my heart soared as she laced
our fingers together. I’d wanted to hold her hand again for too long, and the simple fact that I was doing it was completely surreal to me.
Silenced surrounded us as we walked toward the reception together. I was afraid to utter a word for fear that I might break whatever spell had come over us.
“I love this song,” Elisa said as we stepped into the ballroom.
Across the room, I caught Marshall’s gaze, and he shot me a raised eyebrow. I shrugged. I honestly didn’t know what was happening, and I was fearful that any sudden moves might disturb the balance – or unbalance – of what was currently transpiring between Elisa and me. Marshall smirked at me as he relaxed into his seat at our table
When we reached the dance floor, I turned, pulled Elisa into my arms and felt at home for the first time in months. We were dancing. She was holding me, her arms were wrapped around my neck, and she was smiling up at me. Would it be completely inappropriate to let out a whoop? I decided yes and kept my mouth shut as we swayed in time to the Matt Nathanson song that was playing. It was the perfect tempo for me to keep Elisa close, and I hoped the deejay would keep the slow songs coming. I didn’t want to let her go.
So many things wanted to come tumbling out of my mouth, but I was afraid to wipe the small smile off Elisa’s face, so I kept my mouth shut. I had no idea what her asking me to dance meant or if I’d get the chance to say what was on my mind at some point, but I couldn’t let myself think about that. I had to focus on the here and now where I literally had everything I wanted.
Regardless of whether she’d acted on impulse because she need a distraction from everything that had happened with her sister, or if she felt that I needed a distraction so I wouldn’t get in my car and go after Troy, whatever her reasoning, it was working. I wasn’t going anywhere. I was fully distracted, and a crowbar couldn’t have kept me from finishing that dance.
When Elisa rested her head on my chest a few moments later, I sent up a silent thank you to whatever god might be listening. I tried not to get ahead of myself, but that small gesture had me thinking of all that might happen. I could invite her back to my place. We could stay up late, we could talk, she’d let me hold her, and if I was lucky, she’d let me kiss her.
Westside Series Box Set Page 59