“Besides, I deserved it.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said, taking in how swollen his eye looked.
I wasn’t sure Cam had been thinking clearly when he did that, considering we had to be on-stage in a few days. Hopefully Phillip would be healed by then, and if not, thank God for stage make-up.
“I deserved it,” Phillip assured me. “If nothing else, it woke me up. I might have never gotten out of bed, and I might never have stopped to think about everything, like I have been for the past hour, once I got my busted ass off the floor.”
“I thought you said you spent the last few days reflecting on everything that happened.”
“I did, but I couldn’t think past it, you know? I kept dwelling on that night and what I’d done wrong. It was like once Cam’s fist connected with my face, I woke up, and I realized that regardless of how pissed I was at myself, it wasn’t going to do me any good unless I figured out how to get through what’s next.”
“And what did you figure out?”
“That I need to learn how to live my life sober. No drugs, no alcohol. Nothing addictive.”
“Isn’t that what you said when you got out of rehab?”
He hesitated before he nodded. “Yeah, but this time I mean it. I didn’t see what happened the night I almost OD’d. I don’t remember much except waking up in the rehab facility, and at that point I was already in detox, so I couldn’t really focus on much else. I couldn’t even remember the night before. But this time, even though it wasn’t hardly as bad, I watched that moment on the red carpet over and over, and I knew how much worse things could have been.”
“Did you see our performance?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“We sounded weak,” I told him, although I had a feeling he already knew.
“You did.”
“Because we were missing a key member of our band,” I said earnestly.
“I know. Trust me, I know.”
“We can’t lose you, man. You’re as much of a part of Westside as the rest of us. We need you.”
“I need you guys,” he told me. “I need you more than you probably know. I don’t have a lot of people in my life that I can count on.”
“I know,” I said around a sigh.
We sat there for a few moments in silence, neither of us speaking. I kept my gaze on Phillip as he used his fingers to swish around the water in his bag of ice. Finally, he looked up at me. “You should go to bed. Your girl’s waiting.”
I nodded. “I think I will. Are you going to go up soon?”
He shrugged. “I think I’ll stay down here for a little bit longer. Thanks for talking to me. Elisa’s right. You’re a good friend. You’ve always been a good friend.”
“Anytime, man,” I said as I rose to standing. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
As I headed upstairs, I tried to get my head on straight. Phillip was okay – for now – and I had the girl I loved waiting for me in my bed. I hoped she was still awake. I needed some alone time with her to take my mind off of things that I knew were so much bigger than I’d ever imagined.
Chapter Twenty
Elisa
“Good morning,” I said cheerfully to Cam when he came down the stairs, looking confused.
It took him a few seconds to register that I was in Van’s kitchen.
“Am I still asleep? Is this a dream, because if it is, Andi might kill me for dreaming about another girl making me breakfast.”
I smiled as I flipped over the pancakes I was cooking in the large skillet I’d found in one of the cabinets.
“You’re not dreaming,” I told him as I walked over to the Keurig. “Coffee?”
“Please,” he said as he settled in at the bar. “Am I the first one up?”
I looked up from where I was pressing buttons to brew his coffee and then went back over to retrieve the finished pancakes from the skillet, sliding them onto a plate.
“So far,” I told him as I went back to get his coffee and set it in front of him. “Aside from Van.”
“Thanks,” Cam said, sliding off of his stool to pull the creamer out of the fridge.
I set a bowl of sugar packets in front of him.
“So, what are you doing here, exactly?” he asked me as he poured creamer into his coffee and added two packets of sugar.
“What do you think I’m doing here? You guys have an event booked at one of the casinos tonight – a fan meet and greet. It’s being hosted by a radio station that’s been giving away tickets all week.”
“What?” Cam asked, sounding thoroughly confused and a little panicked with his coffee cup poised at his lips. It was a pretty accurate emotion considering I was making the whole thing up. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the event we have planned for you guys tonight,” I told him. “You should know about it. Van knows. He even said I could stay here because I couldn’t get a room on such short notice due to some anime convention or something. I got in late last night, so I could be here this morning to make sure everything was ready, since this is a really important night. Brent and Katherine figured it would be a good way to show the fans that Phillip is fine and that Westside is better than ever.”
Cam jaw had fallen open slightly. “Seriously?”
I nodded.
“Fuck.”
“I smell pancakes,” I heard from the stairs and looked up to see Dillon’s disheveled blond head. “Elisa? What are you doing here?”
“Did you know we have an event tonight at a casino?” Cam asked him.
“What are you talking about?” Dillon asked as he slid onto the stool next to Cam’s.
I put a plate of pancakes in front of each of them just as I heard the garage door open. Van had run out to get orange juice and a few other things. I’d decided to make breakfast while he was gone.
“Apparently Van knew we had a fan meet and greet tonight, and he didn’t tell us,” Cam told Dillon. “It’s supposed to be some comeback thing for Phillip.”
I saw some of the color drain from Dillon’s face. “Already? Shit.”
“What is wrong with you guys?” I asked them.
“Um, is anyone coming to style us for tonight?” Dillon asked me.
“Why would you need a stylist? It’s just a meet and greet,” I said as the door from the garage to the house opened and Van came in carrying a few grocery bags.
“I fucking love being here,” he announced. “It’s nice to be able to go to the grocery store and not have to bring a shadow. Not that I don’t love Marshall, but it’s nice to do things alone.”
I turned and smiled at him. “Hey baby,” I said playfully.
“Baby?” Cam questioned as Van put the bags on the counter and slid his arms around my waist, looking over my shoulder at his stunned bandmates.
“Oh shit, you guys are together,” Dillon said, finally figuring it out.
“You are?” Cam questioned. “Since when?”
“Since last night,” Van supplied, figuring we’d just go with that for now. It was easier than trying to defend why he’d lied to his best friends.
“You didn’t really have a plumbing issue at your mom’s house last night, did you?” Dillon asked, putting the pieces together.
“Nope,” Van said, sounding way too satisfied with himself. “Elisa showed up out of the blue, so I went and met up with her.”
He turned his head and placed a kiss on my cheek. I smiled, loving more than I’d realized how great it was to be with him in front of other people. I’d hated sneaking around.
“Damn, you said no girls allowed this week,” Dillon grumbled. “You suck.”
“He didn’t invite me,” I defended. “I just showed up. I didn’t know the rules. I’m sorry.”
“So, wait, do we really have an event tonight?” Cam questioned.
I smiled sheepishly. “No, you don’t.”
“So that was just you fucking with us?” he clarified.
I shr
ugged. “Maybe.”
Van laughed as Cam muttered, “Thank God,” and gave Dillon a pointed look.
“Thinking twice about how you busted up Phillip’s face, are you?” Van asked them, and they both froze before turning to look at him.
“You know about that?” Dillon asked him, looking more remorseful than Cam.
“Of course they know,” a voice from the stairs said, and we all looked up to see Phillip, who was sporting at swollen lip and a black eye. “I was still up when they got home last night.”
“Fuck, that looks bad,” Cam muttered.
“I’d tell you that it’s not as bad as it looks, but I’d be lying,” Phillip said as he came up behind Cam and Dillon.
He put an arm around each of their shoulders. I watched both of them tense up as if they were preparing to fight if necessary.
“Thanks for dragging my ass out of bed and knocking some sense into me.”
I watched Cam’s mouth quirk into a smile, but he said, “Sorry about your eye, man.”
“Yeah, sorry about your lip,” Dillon told him.
Phillip stepped away from them and headed into the kitchen. He grabbed the orange juice from one of the bags on the counter and proceeded to pour himself a glass. We all watched him as if he were a caged animal that had escaped. We weren’t sure what his next move was going to be.
Van and I hadn’t talked much when he’d come up to bed the night before. He hadn’t seemed like he’d wanted to tell me what he and Phillip had discussed, so I didn’t push the issue. I figured he’d tell me if and when he was ready.
After Phillip put the orange juice in the fridge and took a long drink from his glass, he turned to us. “Quit staring at me. You’re freaking me out.”
“Are you okay?” Dillon asked him.
“I’m fine. We’re fine. No lost love.”
“So, we don’t have to watch our backs?” Cam questioned.
Phillip set his glass down on the counter with a ‘thunk’. “No, you don’t. I deserved what I got last night, and I know that. We’re cool.”
“Okay,” Dillon said, seemingly not believing him.
“I’m serious,” Phillip insisted. “I know I fucked up, and I should have owned up to it the day after everything happened, but I didn’t. And in addition to what I pulled at the Billboards, I figure I also screwed up what a kick-ass guys’ week this could have been. I’m sorry – for all of it. I know I can’t take back what happened, but I figure we have one more day to do things right while we’re up here, if you guys want.”
“What were you thinking about?” Van asked warily, and from the looks on the other guy’s faces, I had a feeling I knew what they were thinking.
“I was actually thinking about paintball,” Phillip said, surprising us all.
“Aren’t you sore, man?” Van asked, as he started put the rest of the groceries in the fridge. I had a feeling he’d turned away so Phillip wouldn’t see the surprised look on his face.
Phillip shrugged. “What’s one more bruise or scrape? Besides, I can always blame this shit on paintball if I’m asked.”
“I’m in then,” Cam said.
“Me too,” Van and Dillon agreed in unison.
Phillip looked at me. “How about you, Elisa? Any chance we could get a gun in your hands?”
I laughed, trying to go with the flow. “Probably not, but I’m not sticking around today anyway. I have to get back to L.A.”
Van wasn’t overly thrilled that I was leaving so soon, especially since the guys were set to fly back to L.A. that evening, but he understood that I wanted to talk to Katherine as soon as possible. I didn’t want to risk anything happening and her finding out, so I was going to face up to what was going on with us and let the chips fall where they may. I just hoped I’d be using my airline ticket from L.A. to Philadelphia on Sunday instead of being relegated to staying home. And I would be if Katherine was okay with me dating Van and doing PR for Westside. I honestly wasn’t sure what she was going to say.
“Darn, it would have been fun to see what you could do with some ammunition.”
I rolled my eyes at Phillip. “I’d aim for you every time,” I told him playfully.
He winked at me. “Bring it on.”
I smiled, wondering if this was going to be a turning point for us. I honestly wasn’t sure how he’d react to me after I’d threatened him the night before. Considering he’d never really warmed to me in the past, he might have felt I was overstepping my bounds. But apparently that wasn’t the case, and he was even being playful with me.
I’d take it. We’d never been friends before, but I wanted that to change. I planned to be with Van for a long time, and I knew Phillip was an important part of his life. It meant a lot to me that we get along, and I knew it meant a lot to Van too.
I guess I should be grateful that my boyfriend was such a forgiving guy. I wasn’t sure I would have done the same thing had the tables been turned, but he’d forgiven Phillip, and he’d forgiven me. Quite honestly, I felt like I’d done something far worse in flying all the way to Nevada to break up with him out of the blue.
At the time, it had seemed like the right thing to do, but in the light of a new day, knowing what I now knew, breaking up with Van seemed like insanity. I knew I’d panicked, and I’d made a hasty decision without even considering his feelings. But he apparently loved me, and as soon as he’d said that, I knew I could never leave him. I’d loved him for years, and I’d waited so long to hear him say he felt the same way.
My job was just a job, and it didn’t even compare to how I felt about Van. I loved what I did, but he was right, I could find something else if I had to. I couldn’t replace him.
So I was heading home to tell Katherine that Van and I wanted to be together. I’d run through a dozen scenarios about how she might react, and I wasn’t entirely sure which one would end up being the reality. But I was meeting her for coffee at three, so I figured I’d find out soon enough.
“My girl’s a badass,” Van said, kissing me on the cheek as he walked over to the stack of pancakes I’d piled up and snagged a few for his plate.
I finished making the rest with the batter I had left and joined him and Phillip at the kitchen table a few minutes later. They were joking about something, and I was glad to see Van looking so happy. I knew it was partly because of us, but it was also because of Phillip. He seemed like a different person. I only hoped he could sustain this new demeanor and not slip back into needing drugs and alcohol to function.
Van looked up and smiled at me. “Great pancakes, Lis.”
I smiled back at him. It was a good morning.
* * *
I was on my way to the office to meet Katherine when I got at text from her admin letting me know she had to push our meeting to the next day. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, since now that I’d decided to tell her about Van and me, I sort of just wanted to get it over with. I wanted to know what she’d say and whether she’d let me keep working for Westside.
In truth, I hoped she’d let me accept the promotion she’d offered me a few days earlier. When we’d had coffee on Tuesday, she’d pretty much started the conversation with telling me she wanted me to move into a permanent role on Westside’s PR team.
As they were growing as a band, there was more of a need to have someone take on a larger media relations role out of the L.A. office. That person was Brent, which meant his job as the publicist who traveled with Westside to all their events and toured with them would be available. Katherine wanted me to do it, and she wanted me to do it immediately, which meant I’d no longer work for Syd, I’d transition fully to the role in a few weeks, and when Brent left the tour, I’d be in charge.
I’d swallowed back the urge to say yes on the spot and told her that although I was honored, I couldn’t accept the position. Then I’d kicked myself for several hours afterward, trying to figure out how I could have said no to an offer like that.
I knew why I’d done it, though. I
wanted to be with Van, and I knew the easiest way to do that would be to go back to working for Sydney after the Westside tour was over, like I’d originally planned. That way there would be no concern about me dating Van. I knew the distance and completely out of sync travel schedules that we would face would suck, but at the time, because I hadn’t planned on telling Katherine that Van and I were dating until the tour was over, turning down an amazing opportunity that would actually keep me close to my boyfriend seemed like the best idea.
But in the end, I really, really wanted that job.
I couldn’t say any of that, though, so I’d told Katherine that as much as I’d liked working for Westside, I loved working for Sydney more. I told her I was happy in my role and comfortable learning more about the industry through my experience on Syd’s team. I thanked her for thinking of me and told her that I hoped she’d consider me for other roles in the future.
That was when she’d launched into how much she could trust me and how impressed she was with the work I was doing. She said she felt I could really do a lot to help the band, and she was disappointed that I wasn’t going to take the job. She said she felt that I was making a mistake.
When I thanked her again but politely declined the job, I could see in her expression that she wasn’t happy with me. She wasn’t used to people telling her no, and considering I’d never told her no – ever – I think she was even more disillusioned with my decision.
She’d ended the meeting soon after and had left me sitting at the table at the café we’d met at with her last words to me hanging in the air.
“I hope you won’t regret this decision down the road, Elisa,” she said in a condescending way that told me she definitely thought I’d regret my decision. “I’m not sure another job like this one will come around again.”
I honestly wasn’t sure if she was threatening me or safeguarding me against what the PR in the industry was really like, but I couldn’t help feeling sick to my stomach as she walked away. It was the utter disappointment in her voice that made me start to freak out inside, and of course my mind went directly to how much more upset she’d be with me if she knew the real reason I’d turned down the job. Worse than being told no, Katherine Baker hated liars.
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