“Not tonight,” she said softly. “Tonight I’m all yours.”
I smiled, glad for the fact that I wasn’t going to have to spend the night alone.
Chapter Two
Phillip
“Phillip!” Gavin said excitedly when he saw me on the porch.
He flung himself at me, his arms wrapping around my legs, so I scooped him up into a bear hug.
“Dude, you got bigger!” I told him, feeling like he’d grown a foot since I’d seen him six months earlier. I couldn’t believe it had been that long.
“Where’s my present?” he asked, pulling back to look at me with sparkling eyes.
I laughed. “It’s arriving later today on a big truck,” I told him, trying to drum up the excitement.
Gavin’s face twisted in confusion. “But Mommy said you had to go to the North Pole to get it.”
“Yeah, I did, but I couldn’t bring it back with me. It was too big for me to carry on the airplane. You’ve seen the planes I fly in. They’re tiny. This present is way bigger than that, and it’s not even going to be built when it gets here.”
I watched his eyes get wide. “It’s bigger than a airplane?!”
“It sure is,” I told him.
“Yes!” he said excitedly, but then his face scrunched up in confusion. “But why does it have to be put together? Didn’t Santa’s elves do that?”
Uh-oh, he had me there.
“Uh, yeah, of course they did, but then they had to take it apart to ship it.”
Gavin thought about that for a few seconds before he decided it was plausible. “That makes sense. I can’t wait to see what it is!”
“Oh, good God, what did you buy him now?” Leah asked as she stepped into the foyer.
Her blond hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, and she wasn’t wearing any make-up. She looked the same as she had when we’d been in high school, even though she seemed wiser somehow. It often felt like Kelsey and I were still kids, and Leah, the youngest of the three of us, had gone and grown up. It was weird, but I guess she’d been dealing with adult things far longer than we had.
“Hey, you’re the one who set me on the trajectory to seek out the best present ever!” I said, shifting my gaze to Gavin as I set him on the ground.
“Ooh, I want to know what it is soooo bad!” he gushed.
I laughed. “Well, then it wouldn’t be a surprise, now would it?”
“No,” he said glumly.
“Don’t worry, bud. I’m sure it’ll be here soon.”
“Yeah, okay,” he said, kicking the ground with the toe of his sneaker.
“And we’ll play video games until it gets here,” I promised, knowing that would put him in a better mood.
He perked right up. “Cool!”
“Darn right it’s going to be cool. Why don’t you head up to your playroom, and I’ll meet you up there after I say hello to your mom.”
“Okay!” he said as he started to tear through the house.
Leah smiled as she watched him go, and then she turned back to me. She opened her arms almost immediately, and I stepped into them, grateful for the comfort that resided there.
“It’s so good to see you, Phillip.”
“It’s good to be here,” I said as I pulled back.
Leah eyed me appraisingly, looking me up and down. “How are you feeling?”
She wasn’t going to play into my desires to pretend that everything was fine. She wasn’t Kelsey, but I’d known that so I’d been able to prepare myself for the probing questions I knew she’d ask. She wasn’t going to pull any punches.
“I’m okay,” I told her, feeling like it was the most honest thing I could say after only being out of rehab for three days.
“Have you been seeing your therapist?”
I nodded. “I’ve seen him twice since I got home, and I’m going to call him tomorrow for a session.”
“Good. Any cravings?”
“Some, but nothing too terrible. I’ve been laying low, though, so we’ll see.”
“You can do this,” she said, taking my hand in hers. “I know it sucks, and it’s not going to be easy, but I know you can get past this.”
I nodded, appreciating her encouragement more than she probably knew. “I know. I hope.”
Leah shook her head. “No, I’m not settling for hope. You can do this, and you will.”
“Yes, Mom.”
She shot me a dirty look as she tried to hide her smirk. “Jerk.”
“Phillip, are you coming?” Gavin called out to me, peeking his head around the corner of the stairway.
“I’m coming, bud. I’ll be right there.”
Leah trailed behind me as we headed up to the bonus room above her garage that served as Gavin’s playroom. She put her hands on my shoulders as we walked.
“You think you can talk and play video games at the same time?”
“Depends on what you want to talk about.”
“How about we keep it light? You can tell me what’s on the docket for Westside over the next few months.”
“That I can do,” I said as we started to climb the stairs, “Damon briefed me on everything yesterday. I’m now fully up-to-speed, and that’s not a bad thing considering we’re going to be going at warp speed when I head to L.A. next week.”
I didn’t want to admit that my impending schedule had my nerves on edge. I’d have much preferred to ease back into my life, but I wasn’t going to be able to do that. In addition to it being award show season and being expected to attend certain events, we started touring in a month and a half. There was too much I needed to do to make sure I was ready for our first show.
Touring was always tough for me, since parties were plentiful and temptations were readily available. I only hoped I’d be able to handle it this time around. I’d crashed and burned pretty quickly during our last tour, which had culminated in me embarrassing myself and my bandmates at the Billboard Music Awards. The stress of the tour and the schedule we kept while on the road had gotten to me, and I hadn’t been able to handle it. I vowed that things would be different this time and from here on out. I wasn’t going back.
“Things are starting already?” Leah asked me.
“Yup, for me at least. I’ve got to get in with our vocal coach, since I haven’t sung a note in two months, and I’ve got to learn the lyrics to the songs on our new album, since I can’t remember them to save my life, and then tour rehearsals start in two weeks.”
“Wow, that’s crazy.”
“Mommy,” Gavin said impatiently.
“Yes, baby,” she said, looking down at him.
He looked so much like her with blond hair and blue eyes. It was always strange to see their resemblance.
“Phillip’s playing with me right now,” he said, handing me a controller. “You can sit on the couch.”
I stifled a laugh as Gavin directed Leah into the background so we could have bro time together.
“Okay, fine,” Leah said, throwing her hands up in surrender. “But no complaints when Sarah comes over later to watch you so Phillip and I can go out to dinner.”
I leaned my head back to look at her. “Dinner?”
“I need some adult conversation. Are you okay with that?”
“Sure.” I grinned at her. “And don’t worry. I can multitask. Talk to me while we play.”
“How about I go make lunch,” she offered.
I looked over at Gavin and grinned. “Even better.”
“Totally better,” he agreed. “I’m starving!”
I remembered one thing I needed to tell Leah before she left the room, so I jumped up right as she was starting down the stairs.
“Where are you going?” Gavin demanded.
“I’ll be right back,” I told him as I called out to Leah. She stopped halfway down the stairs, so I jogged down to meet her. “Hey, so some guys are coming later to deliver Gav’s present. They might tear up the yard a bit, but they’re going to re-sod it when they
’re done.”
I watched Leah’s eyes get wide. “They’re going to tear up the yard?” she asked in a hushed whisper, so Gavin couldn’t hear us.
“Yeah, but that’s only because they have to get the backhoe into the backyard.”
Leah’s eyebrows rose. “Excuse me? A backhoe?”
“Yeah, well, that and the cement truck.”
“A cement truck?! Phillip, what did you buy him?” she demanded.
I shrugged. “A pool – with a slide and a diving board.”
“A pool!” she exclaimed, not sounding as thrilled as I knew Gavin would be. “Are you freaking kidding me?!”
“Uh, no. I’m not. But lower your voice, or you’re going to kill the surprise.”
“You bought my five year-old a pool?” she hissed at me.
“Yes, I did. I wanted to get him something big to make up for missing Christmas.”
“But a pool! Phillip, I’m not going to kill the surprise, I’m going to kill you.”
I grinned, taking it all in stride, since I’d known she’d react this way. “No, you’re not, because I also asked them to put in a hot tub for you.”
“Seriously?” she said, looking crestfallen as her shoulders fell.
I rolled my eyes, knowing what she was upset about. Leah was prideful about money. Sure, she’d taken an advance on her trust fund when Gavin was born, but after that she’d been adamant about paying her own way. She hated taking money from Kelsey or me, but we always found ways to slip her some without her realizing it. And it wasn’t like she needed it. She had a good job, but we had money to spare, and we liked to spoil her and Gavin.
“Leah, you kicked my ass when I needed it, just like you’ve been doing for years. I owe you – big time,” I said, breaking it down into simpler terms. There was a method to my madness, and I owed her more than I could ever repay. “I’m sober because of you.”
She let out a long, measured breath, but she still had a scowl on her face. “You don’t owe me,” she said softly.
I took her hand in mine. “I do,” I assured her. “And you’re just going to have to deal with me finding extravagant ways to pay you back for the rest of eternity.”
“Fine,” she said after several moments of silence.
I smiled. “So, you’ll let me do it? You know it’ll make Gavin’s year.”
“Yeah, I know. Fine, I’ll let you do it, but only on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“You stay sober,” she said, poking me hard in the chest. “If you fall off the wagon again, I’ll have a company come and tear up the pool, and I’ll make you explain why to Gavin.”
Ho-ly shit. She’d just laid down the ultimate bargaining chip. She knew the last thing in the world I ever wanted to do was break Gavin’s heart, and if he got a pool, and then someone came and took it away, he’d be devastated. There was no way I’d let that happen. And she knew that better than anyone.
“Well played,” I told her.
She sighed. “Yeah, well, I love you, and I don’t want anything to happen to you. Extreme situations call for extreme measures. You have too much talent to waste your life, but more than that, you have too many people who love you. Do it for them.”
I had six people who loved me, but they were six really important people. She had a point.
“Yeah, okay. You win. You threw the ace.”
“I know,” she said, pushing up on her toes to kiss my cheek. “I’ll be back with lunch in a few.”
I watched her walk away, marveling at how together she was considering how hard she’d worked for everything in her life. I’d never had to work for anything. My life hadn’t been easy, but what I’d achieved had come easily to me. Maybe that was why it had taken me so long to appreciate it. Maybe if I actually had to work for something, I wouldn’t be so keen to toss it away. That was something to think about.
Chapter Three
Sabrina
“I’m sorry, but you want me to do what?” I asked Damon, Westside’s manager, who’d surprised me when he’d called and asked me to meet him for lunch.
I’d taken exactly three bites of my salad when he’d dropped a bomb on me. Apparently he wasn’t one to beat around the bush.
“I want you to be Phillip Lawton’s sponsor.”
I narrowed my eyes at him as I set my fork down. “Phillip needs a sponsor?”
I knew Phillip. He was a consummate party boy and the resident bad boy of Westside – at least as much as he really could be a bad boy in a boy band. I knew he liked to have fun, though, and because of that, I’d steered clear of him.
I’d clocked two years sober the month before, and I intended to keep it that way. Surrounding myself with people who lived the life I used to lead wasn’t exactly healthy. Not that I was concerned with giving in to temptation. I’d passed that point a while back – as much as I could with the desire to get high always in the back of my mind – but I knew the kind of people I wanted in my life and those I’d rather keep on the periphery.
“He needs a sponsor,” Damon confirmed.
I raised an eyebrow at him and took a drink of my iced tea. “Didn’t he just spend two months partying his way through Australia?”
Damon cocked his head to the side, eyeing me appraisingly. “Confidentially, no. He didn’t. He spent the last two months getting treatment for his addiction.”
“Really?” I questioned, not sure I could have been more shocked by that revelation.
If that was really true, Westside’s PR team had done a hell of a job making it look like Phillip had been more than enjoying his time off from touring. As much as I disliked their publicist, Katherine Baker, I had to give her credit. She was good at what she did.
“And you want me to sponsor him? You do realize I’m probably not the most qualified person for the job. I’ve only been sober for two years.”
Damon fixed a steely gaze on me as he steepled his fingers together. “But you are still sober, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” I said firmly, never wanting anyone to assume I’d backslid. I was stronger than that.
Damon nodded. “And you’re going to be right there with Westside, day in, day out, for the next six months.”
He paused, probably letting that sink in. And sink in it did. It was suddenly all so clear. The request from my label that I not strike out on my own for a solo tour, even though the mini-tour I’d done back in the fall had been a great success. No, they wanted me to tour with Westside, to be their opening act, claiming it would be of mutual benefit to us both and help me gain more fans, even faster. My agent thought it was a great idea, and although I’d questioned it at the time, I’d agreed, figuring I wouldn’t have much to lose. Now I understood the real reason I’d been asked.
“This is why I’m touring with Westside, isn’t it?” I asked Damon.
He smiled in a snakelike sort of way. “You catch on quick.”
“No one ever said I was dumb.”
I was actually a borderline genius, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. I assumed that he, along with most people, had formed their impressions of me long ago. They assumed I was a party girl who made reckless decisions and didn’t have the wits about her to stay out of trouble. And that might have been true when I’d been partying like crazy a few years back, but it wasn’t true now. Let him think I was an empty-headed girl, though. I almost preferred it that way.
Damon smiled in a placating sort of way, which told me I was spot-on in my assumption of how he saw me. But I also knew he needed me. Given my history, I probably wasn’t his first choice to be Phillip’s sponsor, but I was a convenient choice. I might have been his only choice.
“So what exactly do you want from me?” I asked him.
“Phillip fell off the rails last year. I’m sure you heard about what happened at the Billboards, but in all honesty, that was nothing. He was drunk, but his penchant for anything that will get him high and keep him there has been his downfall for years. He needs so
meone to help him stay sober.”
“And you think I can do that?”
He shrugged. “I’m hopeful. He doesn’t know this, but this is his last chance. One more slip-up, and he’s out. We’re already spent too much time and energy trying to hide his addiction from the media and the fans. We’re dealing with rumors that the band is on rocky ground, and we don’t need that. It’s too risky to have someone like him in the mix at this point.”
“So, if he can’t stay sober, he’ll get fired?” I clarified.
Damon nodded. “Yes, that’s the stipulation.”
“That’s a lot of pressure to put on someone who’s a recovering addict.”
“That’s why I’m not going to tell him.”
I cocked my head to the side in question. “I’m not sure that’s any better.”
Damon sighed. “To be honest, I’m not sure what’s best for him at this point. I like Phillip. I always have, but he’s a spoiled brat who has been handed everything on a silver platter for most of his life. He never learned the word no, and quite honestly, it might do him some good to get humbled for once in his life. Either way, the pressure’s on.”
I wasn’t sure I agreed with his assessment of the situation, but I wasn’t exactly in a position to argue. I didn’t know enough about Phillip to defend him or to claim that Westside should stick by him during this time. I knew how tough things where probably going to be for him over the next few months, and I didn’t really think holding his job over his head was smart. But I also knew how fickle the world we lived in really was. People were discarded like junk mail on a daily basis. Loyalties were low, and they changed frequently. To be honest, Phillip should probably be lucky that he’d gotten another chance.
“If he just got out of rehab, doesn’t he already have a sponsor?”
Damon nodded. “He does, but the guy’s in his late forties, married with a family. I’m not sure they’ve ever clicked, and Phillip needs someone he can connect with. He needs someone his age, who’s lived the life he lives, who’s battled an addiction and who’s come out on the other side.”
Westside Series Box Set Page 82