But it would be a few months before we put any real thought into that album. In fact, none of us would be doing much with Westside at all over the next few months. With everything else we all had going on, we were taking an extended break, and we weren’t coming back together as a band until our next tour started in April.
We’d even shortened the tour for the following year, and we’d eliminated all weekday shows and cut down the stops we made. After five years of going non-stop, none of us wanted to get burned out. My request had been that I wanted to be able to be home more. Gavin had started first grade, and I wanted to be around as much as I could. Flying home in between tour stops was the best I could do, and it would give Kelsey some flexibility to have her own career.
At the end of the day, I was his dad. I appreciated her help and support more than I could ever tell her, but I didn’t want her to sacrifice anything for the sake of helping me. So far, we’d been doing all right with that, and she’d had good luck with steady work since she’d moved to L.A. In fact, she was going to be the female lead in the movie Cam and Dillon had written.
I’d never known her to show an interest in acting, but when Dillon had approached her, claiming she was perfect for the role, she’d audition and nailed the part. I guess it was good that I had a few months off, since her life was about to get a whole lot busier.
But it was good. Everything was good, and as soon as we were done with our performance, my day was going to get a whole lot better. It was going to be a day of sightseeing and showing Gavin all the best parts of New York, and that night I was taking Sabrina out to dinner. She’d been a saint over the past few months, and I was more in love with her than I’d ever been. I couldn’t have gotten any luckier if I’d tried and had never imagined my life could feel this good and this whole with the voids that had been left behind by my mother and Leah.
I still missed them both, every day, and Kelsey and I made sure we talked about Leah often, reminding Gavin of what an amazing person his mom was. It made him smile, but I knew thinking about her also made him cry. He missed her, just like we all did, but day by day we were all healing, together. I knew we’d never fully get past not having her in our lives, but we were doing okay. I figured she’d be proud of us.
“What is the plan for Westside?” the reporter asked us. “Is this the last we’ll see of you boys?”
There was complete silence from all sides of the stage until Cam spoke up. “No, it’s not. In fact, we’ll be back on tour next April. Tickets go on sale in December, so get them before they’re gone.”
He barely got the words out before the crowd erupted into cheers, and I looked out to see some people crying. It was as surreal as it had always been, but they idolized us. They saw the good, and they overlooked the bad – at least most of them did.
There had been some fallout when I’d made my announcement about Gavin, and for a few months, the paparazzi hounded us. Questions were raised about my ethics, about my morals, and the backlash on the Internet was kind of astounding. I actually stopped looking at it for a while. I didn’t want to know what people were saying, because at the end of the day, they didn’t really know me, they didn’t know Leah, and they had no right to judge us.
Gavin was happy, he was loved, and that was all that mattered. I knew one day he’d probably see the hateful words that some people had written about his mother and me, but I hoped it would be a long time before that happened. I’d shelter him from it for as long as I could, and hopefully by the time he read any of it, he’d know how wrong it all was. In a world where he was photographed at the beach and on the playground and as he was leaving school, it was all I could ask for.
“So you’re not breaking up?” the reporter clarified.
“We’re not,” Dillon told her. “In fact, we’ll be working on another album for you all next year. Westside’s not going anywhere.”
More cheers erupted, and the reporter waited for them to die down before she spoke again. It was almost time for us to perform anyway.
“Well, you heard it here first,” she said with a smile. “Westside isn’t going anywhere. And on that note, here they are singing their hit single, Taking Chances.”
We rose as the stools we were sitting on were removed, and we were handed microphones. I lifted my earpieces that had been dangling around my neck and put them in my ears, waiting for the cue from our sound operator. We’d only performed our new single once, at our last show on the tour, since it had dropped a few days earlier. I hoped it was as good as it had sounded that night when we’d all been high on life, excited about how awesome the tour had been, and ready for what was next.
I felt a familiar flutter of excitement as I heard the piano intro I’d composed start to resonate from the back of the stage, and within a few seconds I heard, “Phillip go,” in my ear. Then I stepped forward and sung the intro to the song that I’d helped write. It was the song Cam and Dillon had been messing with back in May, and my piano intro had been infused throughout the song, repeating the same melodic tune that fantastically countered the harder guitar sounds. It was a cacophony of sounds that sounded so ridiculously good together that my stomach had tightened the first time I’d heard them all mixed together. The song was awesome, and the fact that I’d had such a huge part in writing it was the best. Sabrina had been right, there was nothing like singing your own lyrics, no matter how painful they might be.
And speaking of Sabrina, as I sung the part I’d written about her, I looked off to the side to see her standing there, singing along and smiling at me. I winked at her and turned back to the crowd as Dillon came in for his part.
We sang two more songs from our last album after that, and then we were done. I waved to the fans as I hopped off the stage, feeling the same rush of adrenaline I’d felt every time I’d stepped off-stage for the past five years. I loved what I did, and doing it with a clear head was better that I’d ever thought it could be.
For so long I’d thought being halfway out of it gave me the courage I needed to get through life, but I’d been wrong. After a year of being sober, because it had been exactly one year earlier that I’d checked myself into rehab, I had more clarity than I’d had in my whole life. And it was a beautiful thing.
It wasn’t as beautiful as my girlfriend, especially when she was smiling widely at me and looking so sexy with cheeks flushed from the cold, but it was a close second.
She’d already ducked inside the studio, and as soon as I reached her, she threw her arms around my neck. “You were so amazing.”
“Yeah, I know,” I said, partly because I knew how amazing we’d sounded, but partly because I knew Sabrina liked it when I was playful.
She pulled back and smiled at me. “So modest.”
I shrugged. “I try.”
“So, are you free to go?”
I nodded. “I am.”
“Good, because Kelsey just texted me and said that Gavin is chomping at the bit to see the Empire State Building.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I know. He’s been talking about it for weeks. He said it looks like a Transformer and is convinced if he calls it out, it’ll transform in front of him.”
Sabrina laughed. “Oh, my God. He does not think that.”
“He does,” I told her. “My kid has an imagination.”
“Just like his dad.”
I looked at her in confusion. “I’m not sure I’d consider myself imaginative.”
She smiled. “You’re creative. Same thing. He’s so much like you, it’s scary – especially his sick musical talent.”
I grinned. “Yeah, he is pretty awesome in that regard. Maybe one day he’ll follow in my footsteps.”
“He already does,” she reminded me, and I knew how right she was.
Gavin was my kid through and through. I wasn’t sure that was always a good thing, considering how screwed up I’d been for so long. But if I could help it, he’d only inherit my good traits. He could leave all the other stuff behind.
&n
bsp; Sabrina linked her arm through mine as we left the studio. I’d changed into different clothes and washed off my stage make-up. I hated wearing the stuff, and I knew Gavin would tease me if he saw me wearing it.
“Gavin and Kelsey are out front,” Sabrina told me as Greg trailed behind us.
I looked back to see Tommy, Dillon’s bodyguard walking next to him.
“Are you lost Tommy?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “Nah, Dillon’s already in the car.”
“Dillon?” I questioned. “He’s tagging along?”
“Kelsey invited him,” Sabrina said, and I felt a protectiveness wash over me.
Dillon and Kelsey had been hanging out for the past month, ever since they’d both been asked to be in the same 57 Jeans ad campaign. From what she’d told me, they’d spent the day shooting, and then they’d gone out for drinks. She swore they were just friends, but I had my suspicions about whether that was true or not, and considering the number of women Dillon was spending time with lately, I’d kill him if he was messing around with Kelsey. She was too good for him, and he didn’t deserve her. But for now I couldn’t say anything. Kelsey was fiercely independent, and even though I felt protective of her, she’d have my head if I tried to interfere in her life. So I was keeping my mouth shut.
“I can’t wait for dinner tonight,” Sabrina said as she held onto my arm.
“Me either,” I said, leaning over to kiss her temple, much to the delight of the photographers and fans who were camped out beyond the barricades that the studio had set up.
I figured one gratuitous picture wouldn’t hurt.
“One year sober,” Sabrina said, surprising me that she knew that. “Did you ever think you’d get here?”
I shook my head. “Not at all. But thanks to you, I did.”
She smiled. “It was all you, Phillip.”
“You know that’s not true,” I said when we stopped in front of the car.
The door was open, but I wanted to take a moment before we got in. There was something I needed to say. Sabrina looked up at me expectantly, a few strands of her dark hair blowing across her face.
“Thank you for taking a chance on me,” I said softly enough so only she could hear me. “Thank you for pushing me to listen to you and to talk to you. Thank you for opening up to me and being there for me when I needed it, and thank you for loving me. I never expected anything like what this past year has been, and I owe it all to you, Sabrina. I love you so much.”
She smiled. “I love you too, Phillip. Thank you for looking past who I used to be and letting me in. I honestly never thought I’d fall for a guy like you, but that was before I knew the real you. Thank you for being so wonderful and kind and sweet and such an amazing father. I feel bad that I consider it sexy, but when I see you with Gavin, it’s really the best thing in the world.”
“Better than when you see me naked?” I questioned, because things were starting to feel a little heavy.
Sabrina laughed. “Definitely not. Nothing is sexier than that.”
I leaned down and kissed her, ignoring the sounds of flashbulbs going off around us and the cheers from the fans. “Good answer,” I mumbled against her lips.
She pulled back from the kiss but only far enough so she could move her lips. “Speaking of sexy, I think I might blow your mind later – if you’re up for it.”
I smiled. “You know I’m always up for it.”
“Good. Then I’ve got a treat for you. Consider it a celebration of your first year of being sober and a way for me to show you how much I love you, but it’s also a little gratuitous because I know I’ll be benefitting from it as well.”
“Well, now I’m more than intrigued.”
“You should be,” she whispered coyly, making me smile.
“Dad, are you guys coming?” Gavin said then, sticking his head out of the limo.
And just like that I was back to reality, my thoughts of later with Sabrina pushed to the back of my mind as I focused on being a dad.
I looked over at Gavin. “We’ll be right there.”
“Good, because you’re letting the heat out. It’s freezing.”
I laughed. “Yeah, he’s my son – a Florida boy through and through.”
Sabrina smiled. “The Southern California girl in me agrees with him. It’s freezing.”
I wrapped my arms tighter around her waist. “I’ll keep you warm,” I offered.
“You’d better,” she said teasingly.
I let her go long enough to climb into the limo, but as soon as we were inside, I pulled her against me. These days, I never wanted her far from me. I knew we’d be separated the next year when she was on tour, but I was trying not to dwell on that. For now, we were together, I saw her every day, and I was as happy as I’d ever been.
About the Author
Thanks so much for reading Lost in Wonderland, Lost Chances, and Lost to You, the first three books in a four part series about the guys from Westside. I really hope you enjoyed them as much as I loved writing it and developing the characters that helped bring their stories to life. If you are interested in reading my other novels, they are also available in e-book format online.
Books have always had a big part in my life, and I probably spend way more time reading than I should, engrossed in the stories that keep me captivated. I am a total sucker for romantic comedies in all forms, because at the end of the day I just want to laugh and see some really great people fall in love. When those stories are mixed with an awesome soundtrack, it just doesn’t get much better than that.
In addition to books, I have a serious love for the Florida Gators and the Boston Red Sox, I am addicted to fashion, and I never go anywhere without my iPod. Give me a grande non-fat vanilla latte from Starbucks and chips and queso from Tijuana Flats, and I am a happy girl.
You can read more about me online at: http://www.goodreads.com/monicaalexander
Follow me on Twitter: @MonMichelle6
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Books by Monica Alexander
Just Watch the Fireworks
Aftershocks
Broken Fairytales
Buried Castles (Broken Fairytales #2)
Shattered Crowns (Broken Fairytales #3)
Forcing Gravity
Gravity Happens (Forcing Gravity #2)
Searching for Neverland
Work of Art
Only With You
Love is Madness
Paper Airplanes
Dancing With Monsters
Playing With Dynamite
Monsters in the Closet (Dancing With Monsters #2)
Haunted
Lost in Wonderland (Westside #1)
Lost Chances (Westside #2)
Lost to You (Westside #3)
Westside Series Box Set Page 116