by Lux,Vivian
Then Warlox yelled action and I stopped fighting that urge.
I ran...screaming.
"Cut!" Warlox called.
"Holy shit," I heard a voice mutter from one of the wings. I looked up and saw Harlow surreptitiously lowering her hands from over her ears. She gave me a watery smile and a weak thumbs up.
Warlox nodded in my direction. "Okay, yeah, brilliant, good feeling there. Maybe next take, you dial back on the shrieking?"
"I really don't know how I should be feeling right now." Rane chuckled behind me. "Never had a girl react to me quite like that."
"Right, honey." Warlox clapped his hands together. "He's not Godzilla leveling Tokyo. He's your boyfriend."
I took a deep, cleansing breath. "Sure, sure. Sorry, Warlox. Sorry, Rane," I said. Then I made the mistake of looking back at Rane.
His leather pants were so tight they looked sprayed on. Leaving very little to the imagination.
Cock-rock indeed.
"This time, I'm gonna catch you," he said, baring his teeth and stomping like a movie monster.
I tore my eyes away from that bulge. "No way." God damn him, was everything a joke? He had just shrugged off the accident like it was nothing, now he was mocking how seriously I took this. I hated how much I needed this break.
"Yep. You'd better run faster."
I rearranged my face into a mask of indifference. "Is everything a joke to you?"
He cocked his head like he was seriously considering my question. Then he smirked that arrogant little smile of his. "Pretty much everything. Yeah."
"Action!" Warlox called over our bickering.
The music blared and once my cue hit, I turned from Rane and tore ass across the ballroom. This time, I was determined to show him that this wasn't a fucking joke, that I wasn't a joke, that we needed to be serious about the work we were doing. I ran like it was my job, because it was.
We shot the scene again and again and I started to feel my instincts take over. This was my job, and I was fucking good at it, too. And Rane, as infuriating as he could be, made it somehow easier. His constant joking wore down my buzzing nerves until I was laughing along with him.
I felt...normal.
I felt...good.
"Okay, kids, I've got some good stuff here." Warlox watched the playback. "Last time, I want to set up a different camera angle."
I plopped down in my chair. "I'm going to break an ankle in these heels," I complained.
Rane loped over, rolling his neck from side to side. I was starting to get used to the way his body looked in the lights, so I was now able to ignore how every highlight and shadow was sculpted like he belonged in a museum.
He plopped down in the chair next to me and slammed back a bottle of water. "I'm going to chafe to death in these pants," he complained back. "So we're even."
I clapped my hand over my mouth to catch the surprised giggle that threatened to escape. A giggle? Really, Maddie?
"Trade you?" I teased.
He grinned. "I already went through my glam-rock phase, thanks."
"You did?" I tried to picture it. It was surprisingly hot.
"It was...blessedly brief."
I laughed out loud. "You know, my co-star turned out to be a cross-dresser. It was quite the scandal, 'til...until..."
"Until yours?" Rane suggested.
I reached down and fiddled with my ankle strap to avoid looking at him. "Yeah."
Here it comes...the questions...the assumptions...the judgments...
But he only took another swig of water. "Did he have trouble finding heels in his size?"
Relief flooded my chest. "Ordered them off the internet I think."
"Huh, so that was my problem." I could hear the grin in his voice.
"You think you're pretty charming, don't you?"
"Baby, I know I'm charming."
"Ready on set!" Dee called.
Rane stood up first. Without a word, he extended his hand. I hesitated before accepting it. Then allowed him to lift me gently, easily to my feet.
"Roll camera two. And action!"
I ran. My legs felt like two stumps of wood from the ill-fitting heels, but I ran anyway. I wasn't going to give in to the pain. I was a professional and I definitely wasn't interested in my co-star, no fucking way....
I had almost reached my mark when the inevitable happened.
"Fuck!" I cried as the spindly little heel hit the ground off-kilter. My ankle twisted sharply and I was falling.
And then I wasn't. "Got ya," Rane murmured in my ear as he scooped me back up again.
Each heartbeat that I stayed in arms stretched out for a lifetime, allowing me to notice each cell's worth of contact. His skin was warm, almost hot, and his arms were as strong and unyielding as tree branches. I felt the strangest urge to climb higher....
"Told you I would catch you," he whispered. I felt his breath hum across my ear.
I licked my lips. My mouth was too dry to answer.
This close, I could see that what I had mistaken for a smirk was actually the tiniest of white scars that drew the corner of his lips upward. I wanted to touch it and I had no idea why....
He caught me staring at his lips and they curved upward for real. He flicked his tongue out, wetting them slightly, and I felt myself bite my own lip in response.
"Beautiful. Perfect. Cut!" Warlox sounded positively giddy. "That was great stuff, guys!"
Right. Shit. Acting. I gingerly stood up straighter, wincing at the tenderness in my ankle. "Good reflexes," I said, nodding my thanks to Rane.
"No problem." His voice seemed lower than normal.
I swallowed. I needed to break this—whatever it was— moment? Right. We were not having a moment. "How's the chafing?" I teased.
He looked at me very seriously, tipping my chin upwards with a stroke of his finger. My breath caught and I felt my eyelids flutter downward before I caught myself and opened them up wide. He paused heavily, meaningfully, and bent even closer to my ear.
"My thighs are going to burst into flames.”
This time, I did giggle.
"Don't you take anything seriously?" he teased, which only made me laugh harder.
"I always hoped a man would speak poetry to me," I managed to gasp out.
"Stick with me, baby. I'm a freaking Shakespeare of filth."
"I'm intrigued." I stepped forward onto my bad ankle. "Ah, shit, that fucking hurts."
"No problem." Warlox looked up from the playback. "That take was perfect and I think I'm going to use the fall. Nice improv there." He nodded to Dee, who looked over her shoulder and nodded back. "Next scene, you can lie down."
"I can?"
"Yeah, they fixed the spot. Prop department changed the bedsheets. We’ll do that scene now."
"The...bed scene."
"Don't look so crestfallen. You'll bruise my delicate ego," Rane called over his shoulder. He was already over at wardrobe getting changed, but made no attempt to go behind the curtain before peeling those leather pants down his sculpted ass.
When I saw he was wearing absolutely nothing underneath, I turned quickly away, my cheeks flaming. I could still feel every place his skin had touched mine, and now I needed to do a love scene?
"Here, lean on my shoulder." Harlow appeared at my side. "Can you walk?"
I nodded. "I'm fine, just get me out of these fucking heels?"
"No problem. Next scene, you're really not wearing much anyway." She looked up at me. "I'm happy with my boyfriend and all that, but still...you lucky bitch."
I felt like my heart was trying to burst out of my chest. The bed loomed in the other room, once more lit to glowing. As I stared at it in mute trepidation, Rane, now dressed in low-slung boxer briefs and absolutely nothing else, leapt up onto the bed like a cat. He turned, rolled to his side and propped his head up in his hand.
Then he winked at me and patted the bed next to him.
Chapter Nine
Rane
Hot and cold
. That was a phrase my mother liked to use to describe the people who crossed her. It took me long enough to realize this was literally everyone she met, but the phrase still stuck with me. That woman runs hot and cold, she'd sigh after yet another parent-teacher conference.
I'd always picture a person shaped faucet, with a red H and a blue C.
Then she'd kiss me on the forehead. "Don't worry about it, Rane. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to please everyone." And with that motherly moment out of the way, she'd walk outside to sit in the garage, that funky, skunky smell soon wafting out of it.
I wanted to be like her, not caring what the world thought. She eventually even stopped caring what we thought and left in the middle of the afternoon, never to return.
The best lesson my mother ever taught me was how to let go.
It was pretty fucking clear that Maddie wasn't interested. Not that I blamed her. The situation with our parents made things awkward enough. But she kept thawing— shooting me a little smile, staring at my lips, giggling at my stupid jokes—and then freezing over again. Over and over again.
If at first you don't succeed, fuck it. That's been my personal code since Mom left. Shit doesn't go your way, just move the fuck on to the next thing. The world is a big fucking place and I had limited time to enjoy it. I wasn't about to waste a precious moment on an uptight tabloid train wreck with the world's most kissable lips. That would be stupid as fuck.
But my heart still nearly hammered out of my chest as I watched her cross the room.
"Saved a spot for you," I told her, patting the bed next to me.
Maddie pulled back the covers and slid under the sheets. Then she laced her fingers over her chest like a vampire and stared at the ceiling. Her whole body was so stiff she practically levitated.
The set dresser arranged the covers around us, tucking up and around so that nothing X-rated was exposed to the camera. Maddie stayed stock-still, staring at the ceiling, her breath coming in shallow, rapid gulps.
"You can calm down, I'm not going to bite you," I told her.
"No?"
"Not unless you ask nicely."
She shot me a look that would have killed a lesser man.
"No biting. I get it."
She exhaled heavily as Dee called out for quiet on the set. "Right. I'm just going to let the camera roll here, kiddies," Warlox said. "Do what comes naturally."
Maddie laughed a little too loudly. I could feel the heat coming off her body in waves. "Okay," she exhaled. "Let's do this."
She turned and faced me.
Looking down at her, that body below me. Fuck, I am a man after all. Seeing the way her eyes went soft, her lips parting, soft and sweet...all of a sudden, I didn't need to act anymore. I wasn't sure if I ever really was.
She pressed her hand against my cheek, sliding it down to rest against my chest, over my heart. I let her. I let her touch me, explore me. As hard as it was to hold myself back, I wanted this girl to trust me. I really wanted to know what she was thinking.
"You good?"
Her eyes had fallen down to watch her hand tracing across my chest. She flicked them back up to me, and that's when I saw it. The hunger behind the icy calm.
It was exactly what I had been waiting to see.
I bent to kiss her.
As I did, I was acutely aware of the artificial. This wasn't real, no matter how amazing her body felt under my fingers. She didn't really adore me, no matter how she gazed out at me from under the curtain of her lashes. This wasn't the real thing and I should really stop feeling the slow slide of falling for her. The lights, the cameras, the people gathered around watching us—we were doing a fucking job. That was all.
But I was enjoying the hell out of this job.
Her lips parted when mine touched hers. Was she as eager as I was to feel the slip of her tongue against mine? She tasted like fucking strawberries and cream or some other delicious sweetness. The blood was rushing in my ears, but I could still hear the small gasping noise she made, quiet and contained, but just a tiny bit frantic. I wanted to hear her make that noise again. I wanted to be the person who made her make that noise, louder and with more need. I kissed her harder, devouring her, losing it, losing myself....
She gasped and pushed back. "Cut!" she panted.
I fell back. I was relieved...and angry. I wanted to feel that again, keep going, follow it to its natural and inevitable fucking conclusion. But...it wasn't fucking real.
Her eyes were closed, so I couldn't see them shining, but her cheeks were flushed. The heavy rise and fall of her chest, her breasts, the most mesmerizing thing I had ever seen.
"Everything okay, Maddie?" Warlox sounded concerned.
She opened her eyes. Some of the icy calm settled back onto her features. I watched her visibly pull herself back together. Which made me want to pull her apart again.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered breathily, breezily.
"Me too," I piped up. Since we were lying and all. "Totally cool."
Her eyes flicked over to me. The little flash of something—hurt?—gave way to contempt.
Okay, so this really wasn't real.
Warlox flipped through the playback. "Okay, everyone, that's a wrap for today. I got what I needed."
That makes one of us, dude.
Chapter Ten
Madeline
When I finally fell asleep, the memory of Rane's lips on mine slid into my dreams, so that when I woke the next morning, I was blushing and squirming.
I kept smiling, then catching myself, then staring off into space and smiling again.
I had lived my life in front of the camera, but never like that. Rane had...pulled something from me. A feeling that I had never been able to access before. One I didn't want to know existed because I was afraid I would never stop chasing that high. It was adrenaline, euphoria, nerve-tingling excitement. It felt like falling, but in the safest possible way.
When he was kissing me, I hadn't wanted to stop. I didn't ever want to stop. That was the worst thing. When you're someone like me, you learn to fear the things you feel you can't live without because they'll destroy you.
But that feeling had never come from a person before. It felt just like the first time I tried coke, that wild, uninhibited freedom to just be myself but...in human form. Rock solid, gray-eyed human form.
I wanted it again. I wanted him again. I hoped that today's schedule meant I got to kiss him again. Kiss him without consequence because it was my job, then maybe kiss him again after the job was over.
Pull yourself together, the little voice of reason warned, and I ignored her entirely.
Grabbing my keys, I checked my purse for my phone and saw that it was already ringing. I had forgotten to take it off silent from yesterday. My head was that high up in the fucking clouds.
"Hey, Mom!" I answered breathlessly.
"Madeline!" She sounded shrill and relieved at the same time. "I've been calling and calling!"
"I'm sorry! My phone was on silent."
"I have something really important to tell you!"
I leaned against the wall. "I'm sorry, Mom," I repeated, guilt washing over me. While I was getting all giddy about my co-star, what if something had happened to her? This was why these feelings were dangerous—they took me over until there was nothing left for the really important things. Like my mother. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything is fine," she sighed. It was a sigh I knew. The full-body letting go my mother did so well. She never held a grudge, not against me, not against anyone. That sigh was how I knew I was off the hook, and I breathed my own sigh of relief. "Actually, it's more than fine, it's great!" she continued.
"Yeah?" I smiled at the happiness in her voice. "What's great, Mom?"
"Last night, Mike took me out."
"Aw, where?"
"The place we had our first date."
I had been in rehab when she had her first date, but I didn't want to remind her that I had missed out on the new
part of her relationship. "Oh, you love that place," I hedged.
"Well, it has a doubly special meaning now because," she paused, "he proposed."
A tunnel opened up under my feet and I was falling. I sagged against the doorframe. "He...."
"Mike proposed, Maddie. He asked me to marry him." Happy tears flooded her voice. "I never thought...I mean, when your dad died, I thought I would never love another man the way I loved him. And I don't, Maddie, I promise you, I'm not trying to replace your father. There's no way I ever could." She was pleading with me to understand, a note of begging in her voice. "But Mike is...he's Mike. Himself. He's not a replacement, he's...an addition. A bonus round or something." She bubbled into a happy sigh. “Oh god, listen to me, I'm babbling..."
A hot, acidy wash of guilt flooded my stomach. This wasn't about me. "Mom. Stop trying to explain. He proposed! That's....great!"
"Yeah?" She sounded shy all of a sudden. "We're not going to do some big thing...that ship has sailed, you know? Just a quick courtroom service and then a barbecue at his place. My place. Or it will be my place, when I move in with him." She gulped a crazed little hiccup. "Oh Maddie, what am I doing? This is crazy!" She made a little noise that was a cross between a giggle and a sob. I recognized it as one I had made myself more than once.
For once it was me talking sense into her. "It is crazy, Mom. But you deserve to do something wild for yourself."
"Yeah?" She kept wanted me to reassure her. It was a weird reversal of roles.
"He makes you happy, right?"
"He does," she said eagerly. "He's quiet and withdrawn, but he listens. He listens so well, Maddie. I've never met a better listener. And he was a single dad to those boys, and look at how well they've done...."