I’d never experienced an actual orgasm, never having the opportunity or the desire to perform such an act on myself, but I’d read books going into exquisite detail about the experience. The food I was devouring had the same effect I imagined those fictional women having. Eyes rolling into the back of my head, moans of pleasure escaping my throat, and deep sense of satisfaction. I couldn’t imagine anything being better than the amazing food I was consuming, but I was tempted to find out if such a thing existed.
Opening my eyes to find Royce staring at me with a hungry look in his eyes, I was beyond tempted to find such an activity with him. I could only imagine what a session in bed with him would be like. The thought had me crossing my legs and looking away. My impure thoughts startled me out of my blissful daze.
The rest of the meal passed in easy conversation and more delicacies the restaurant had to offer. After dinner, Royce ended up taking me on a stroll through a local park. Trees covered several acres with clear footpaths and benches for people to sit and watch the scenery. It was quiet, romantic, and comforting. Everything I could ask for in a first date.
When the night concluded, Royce brought me back to my dormitory and escorted me to the door outside. Sometime during the date, we had grown comfortable with each other enough that we walked hand in hand. The simple gesture was sweet and overwhelming all at the same time. I worried my palm would become sweaty and gross him out, but he never made a comment or let go.
Standing on the porch outside the dorm, we simply held each other’s hand, unwilling to say goodnight first. Eventually, Royce and I had to separate, only because another female came strolling up and tapped her foot with impatience.
“Arabella,” Royce called before I walked inside.
Turning around slightly, I answered. “Yes?”
“Tomorrow, you’re still coming to my game, right? It would mean a lot to me to have you watching in the stands.”
I pondered my response for a moment. I would love to watch Royce, but was uncertain how to act in the stands filled with unknown people. The chaos that was sure to be had. But looking at the hopefulness on Royce’s face made my decision for me.
Nodding my agreement, Royce bounded back up the stairs before planting a chaste kiss on my cheek. Just as quickly, he was making his way back down the walkway and toward his car. Leaving me standing in stunned silence with my fingertips brushing where his lips had touched my skin.
At his car now, Royce yelled up to me, “Meet me at the stadium at noon.”
9
Royce
Elation from the night before still thrummed throughout my body, humming across my skin like static shock. The sensation only intensified when I thought of Arabella in the stands, cheering me on.
Thousands of people came to watch our team play, many of them screaming out my name, but it wasn’t the same. The amount of joy knowing she was there for me, and me only, brought about another spurt of happiness.
The guys on the team were shooting curious glances my way, but no one made a comment. Not until Cody came sauntering over. At one point in time, I had called this man a friend, but that comradery was slowly slipping away in place of anger. Over the years, Cody had been changing bit by bit, and lately his arrogance made him a pain to be around. Add in the bet he forced upon Arabella and me, and it only made me hate him more.
Plastering on my fake smirk, I nodded at him and continued with my stretches. All the players arrived an hour and a half before game time to warm-up, go over game strategies, and get in the zone. The game didn’t start until one today, but I had asked Arabella to come early so she could have one of the best seats in the house.
Each player was provided with tickets in the “family section” of the stadium for every game. We were allowed to dole them out however we saw fit, as long as it didn’t cause drama. Many of the guys used them for their parents or bros, knowing girls would take the gift for more than it was. I knew that wouldn’t be true for Arabella; she wasn’t like other girls. My parents rarely made it out for my games, waiting until we went to playoffs to attend.
At eleven forty-five, I asked Coach if I could be dismissed for a moment to escort one of my guests to the family section. He didn’t look up, but nodded his head in agreement.
Jogging to the front of the stadium, I stayed hidden from the sizeable crowd, scanning for the girl I desperately wanted to see. And there she stood, awkwardly shifting from foot and foot, looking as radiant as ever.
She wore a blue floral dress that skimmed the ground when she walked topped with a blue jean jacket. It was casual yet elegant. A look I didn’t think was possible but she pulled off flawlessly. I could see white Converse sneakers peeking out from under her dress, and I was glad she had the sense of mind to wear closed toed shoes. Things could get hairy within the stands during pivotal moments in the game. I would hate to hear she got her feet bruised due to a rowdy fan.
Watching her for a moment longer, letting her get closer to my hideout, I finally came out of the shadows and made my way toward her. Her head was turning this way and that, clearly seeking me out. When her gaze landed on me, her eyes widened momentarily before a smile transformed her into a goddess. My heart beat wildly in my chest as I took her in, wondering how I’d gotten so lucky to have her in my life.
My happiness dimmed when I remembered that we had secrets between us, mine far more devious than anything she could possibly be hiding.
I smiled again though when I watched her run to me with that broad smile, knowing she was truly happy to see me and it wasn’t an act. Her innocence radiated out of her, shining like a beacon, drawing me in. Everything about her was so pure, so tantalizing, I hated myself for what I’d been hiding. Knowing that once she knew the truth, this would all come to an end.
Arabella stopped inches away from me, but it wasn’t close enough for my liking, and I pulled her into an embrace. My arms wrapped tightly around her waist and shoulders while my head buried itself in her hair. Her scent overwhelmed my senses, tightening my chest with guilt. Inhaling deeply, I took more of her scent in, memorizing it for future reference. It was a subtle scent, something uniquely her own, not manufactured.
When her arms came around to squeeze me, I tightened my arms a fraction, enjoying the moment between us. The world had fallen away, leaving just the two of us alone in our own little bubble. Knowing it needed to come to an end, I pulled back and took her hand in mine, showing her into the impressive stadium.
The University of California prided itself in its sports, making sure each team had a top-notch facility. Ours was different. The outside consisted of glass and metal, painted to match our school colors. While smaller than some of the local football stadiums, this one fit our following and allowed for bigger schools to compete against us.
Once inside, I walked Arabella to the seats reserved for my tickets. Several of the guests who were seated in the same section greeted me with enthusiasm and luck, only casting Arabella a curious glance. Placing her in the front row, directly behind our sidelines, I helped ease her into the seat. Squatting in front of her, I gently took her face in my hands, gazing upon her beauty.
I soaked in her smile, blinding me with its warmth. Without questioning myself, or her reaction, I leaned in a fraction and gingerly touched my lips to hers. Not wanting to drown my senses in her taste, I pulled away, smiled cordially, and hopped over the railing to join my teammates on the field once again.
Looking back, I saw her fingers lightly touching her lips and a stunned look on her face. My chest puffed with pride knowing I’d put that there. That I’d done that to her.
My adrenaline perked up, and I was eager to start the game.
The game was intense and a constant motion of movement. Our goalie was on point today, stopping everything that came his way. The defenders were aggressive and domineering on the field, not allowing many to slip by them toward the goal. Midfielders did their best at passing, making sure the plays were executed to the best of their abil
ities. And me, a forward, along with the others, stayed hyper focused and watched with keen eyes for the ball. Several times it was passed to me, with me scoring occasionally.
At the end of the match, a grueling ninety minutes, we won. The score ended at four to one.
High from our triumph, I sprinted to the stands and took Arabella into my arms, planting a deep kiss on her rosy red lips. She was surprised at first, unsure of what to do, but soon she was partaking in the kiss as well, giving as good as she got. My hands buried themselves into her hair after I lowered her back to the ground, deepening the kiss further. Hoots and hollers could be heard in the background, but I paid them no mind, my focus solely on the girl in my arms.
10
Arabella
The soccer game opened the relationship between Royce and me to a whole new level. Conversations become deeper, allowing us to open up parts of ourselves we’d kept hidden from others. Royce talked about the pressure he felt from his fraternity but how he had to stick with it because of the opportunities it opened for his future. I gave a little of my background, not going into detail about the abuse I experienced at the hands of my stepmother. I made light of what the punishments entailed, making it sound more like my family was strict and unbending. He never pitied me, only grateful I was able to escape such a place.
Nightly talks became our routine as well as frequent date nights. Royce wanted me to experience everything there was in our city. Anything that I showed an interest in, he was there, providing it for me. At times, I felt as if I was taking advantage of him. When I brought it up to him one night, he sat me down and tried to explain how it was different.
“You can never take advantage of me. You aren’t demanding me to get these things for you, I freely give them. No obligations, no expectations. Do you understand?”
I nodded but protested a bit more. “I just feel so bad because I can’t really return the favor. I struggle to keep stocked the few groceries I do buy. I wish I could take you out one night or buy you a gift to show you how much you mean to me.”
My head dropped in shame and to hide the tears welling within my eyes. Slowly, Royce lifted my chin to look at my face. Smiling gently, he brushed away a tear that had managed to escape before cupping my face in his hands.
“You show me every day how much you care. I don’t need a token or a gift to know that. Just being in your presence is a gift in itself. Never doubt that.”
With those words, he pecked my lips before rising and escorting me out.
The days seemed to pass in a blur, each bringing more joy and happiness into my heart. It was amazing what one person could do for another. I wasn’t sure exactly what was going on with us, how you would describe our relationship, but I didn’t want it to end.
More and more though, I was noticing the snide looks I would receive from girls. They would act polite in front of Royce, but the moment he turned his back, their viciousness came out. One girl in particular seemed to have it out for me. She seemed to think she had a claim on Royce.
“Don’t get used to this,” she said to me one night at a party. Royce had gone off to get drinks for us, thinking I would be safe among the other girls. How wrong he had been.
“Excuse me?”
“All this,” she indicated with a flick of her wrists. “You aren’t anything special. Just the flavor of the semester.”
The words pierced my heart. She knew just where to hit where it hurt. Sometimes I questioned what Royce saw in me, why he would spend so much time with a girl like me. Someone who had a dark past, sinister family, and questionable future. I felt like I was constantly keeping a part of myself hidden, not only eternally, but physically as well. The thought of my family ever discovering me had me constantly checking over my shoulder, minimizing any word that could be said about me.
Turning to walk away from her, her friends formed a wall blocking my escape.
My eyes widened in surprise, thinking they would never dare to try something in such a public place. Especially with Royce so close by. However, when I searched him out, I found he had been delayed by teammates and their fans. Each of them seemed deep in discussion about something soccer related.
Trying to find an alternate escape path, I twisted this way and that, not finding anything that could allow me to pass through. The head girl, Brittany I thought her name was, sauntered her way closer to me, looming over my small frame and peering down at me. You could tell she thought I was inferior to her, beneath the dirt on her shoe. In that moment, I almost believed it, too.
“It’s the same with all of them. They pass their time with different girls, helping them take the edge off during the season. Never do they settle for long.”
The girls behind us chimed their agreement, though some only mumbled their words. Their eyes told a different story. One I wasn’t exactly sure I knew.
“I watch how you act with him,” Brittany continued. “You cling to him like a fat kid with the last piece of cake. I’m going to enjoy the day when he dumps you on your ass.”
With those parting words, she scampered away, her little cronies following in her wake.
I didn’t know how to react, words stolen from my lips. While her words were harsh, I didn’t want to believe them. Somewhere in the back of my head though, they took root. Eventually, he would grow tired of me. Romantic thoughts of running off into the sunset were far-fetched with us. At least in my head. She was right in how dependent I was on him, but I made no illusions with myself on this lasting. Not out loud. Dreams were a funny thing though.
After watching several soccer games, I had asked Royce where he saw himself in the future. Where he wanted to go with soccer. He explained his dream of playing for a worldwide renowned team, traveling all over the world, playing something he loved. It was beautiful how he described his passion, wishing I had something I loved as much as he loved soccer.
That night I had a vivid dream. Royce and I living together in France, or some exotic place, just the two of us. We had married after years together, and were soon starting our own little family. He played the game he adored while I helped children with trauma. It even showed how I left the States to be with him, no longer able to handle the constant long-distance. The surprise and love on Royce’s face when I showed up in his flat was breathtaking and brought tears to my eyes, even in sleep.
When I woke, it was with bitter sweetness. It showed me a life I could have had, one of happiness and unconditional love, but it was as it was.
Just a dream.
11
Royce
Before I knew it, November had arrived and Thanksgiving was fast approaching. Arabella had made a passing comment about staying on campus for the break, but I was going to change that. I wanted her to come home with me, to see my life and where I grew up.
It was a big step, one that I would probably come to regret after she learned the truth about what my fraternity had been planning, but I wanted to do this. No, I needed to do this. There was something about her that drew me in, something that I had never felt before, and I didn’t want to miss out on it.
I was going to tell her the truth.
After visiting my family and hometown.
A week before everyone was scheduled to leave for break, I took Arabella out to dinner. I wanted it to be a fancy affair. Me asking her to come home with me. This was a big deal, not just for us as a couple, but me as an individual. I had never brought a girl home to my parents. They were sort of a big deal, and I always felt girls back home were using me more for my connections than what they liked about me as a person.
I brought Arabella to the place we had our first date, the Korean restaurant. I had called ahead and reserved us a table, knowing the place would be busier this time of year. We ordered our drinks as well as our food before I decided to hit her with my plans.
My hands were sweating, unsure how she would respond to my request. I hoped she would say yes, but I knew she had some issues with crowds and uncertain situation
s. I would never allow anything to happen to her, but she didn’t trust me completely. Not yet, but soon, hopefully.
“Little One, are you happy to be staying on campus for Thanksgiving?”
She gave me an odd look before searching around us, like the correct answer would magically appear.
“Um, yes. I guess so. I don’t really have any other place I could go.”
Taking a deep breath, I reached across the table and took hold of her hands. The way she looked at me, like the sun shone directly on me, made me feel like a million bucks while simultaneously feeling like dog crap. How could such an amazing girl be paired with me? Everything about her screamed innocence and love, but here I was tampering with all that goodness. I thought I had started to develop ulcers from all the half-truths and untold secrets. I knew I needed to deal with it soon, I was just scared.
Pushing that all to the back of my mind, I asked Arabella the question I’d been meaning to ask.
“How would you feel about coming to stay with me back home?”
Her eyes widen to comically large saucers, and her mouth dropped open in surprise. I didn’t think she ever thought that would have been the question I asked her when I started this, but from the look on her face, I knew it was one she was happy with.
A smile slowly formed, and tears gathered in her eyes. I didn’t know what was going through her head, but when she started nodding frantically, I released the breath I’d been holding.
Soon she began asking all kinds of questions about my home and my family. While we had talked briefly before about my family, I had never gone into detail about them. Or my home state. Her eyes filled with wonder when I described some of my favorite activities back home.
The state fair. Rodeos. The foods.
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