Dawn to Dark
Page 19
Luckily, my phone rang, freeing me from the difficult silence afterwards.
“Chief.”
“Frankie. How’s it going?”
“It’s been...quiet. Nothing really to report.”
“Another hiker went missing.” I set the book down to my side and looked out the window to the grounds.
“Where?”
“The area you’re supposed to be watching. Maybe Eddie is right; maybe it’s too distracting for you to be there.”
Just as I was about to speak, I felt him walk in. Caleb. I turned just in time to see him clapping his hand on his brother’s back, effectively dismissing him. Callum shot me a wide smile as he waved goodbye, and I wondered if maybe this was all on purpose; maybe he was tasked with hanging out with me. Maybe I was being fooled by distraction. My eyes snagged on Caleb’s, and he nodded at me as if it wasn’t true, his face conflicted. He slowly approached me, leisurely lifting the book I was reading and casually thumbing through it.
“You there, Frankie? A hiker disappeared the night you arrived. Did you notice anything?”
I instantaneously think about the night I got here, the roar I heard through the house, seeing Caleb scratched up and bleeding. Caleb is now close enough that we’re sharing the same space, and he can obviously hear what the Chief asked. His eyebrow raises as if to ask which way I’m going to go, and it feels like a test.
“Nothing.” Although it’s a lie, it doesn’t feel like one because looking at Caleb, I know in my bones he had nothing to do with it. It’s instinct, and I don’t fight it.
“We’re going to revisit your placement there. I know you sent some items to the station to be examined. Pending what they find, you might be coming home at the month mark.”
“Okay.” What else could I say? That I wanted to stay? That I may have even liked it here? I couldn’t say that.
“We’ll be in touch.”
“Okay, bye.”
I sink back down on the window sill where I’d been reading and turn, facing Caleb. He mimics my position, and our knees brush up against each other; even through the clothing, I feel that rush of energy through my body at the connection.
“Hi,” he says, and I can see some emotion radiating in his eyes, but I can’t quite place it. I feel myself start to sweat, a lot, like the room has grown infinitely warmer since his arrival.
“Hey.”
“Thank you for not telling him what you saw.”
“What did I see?”
Before he can answer, a glint catches his eye and he reaches out, pulling my pendant out from under my shirt, invading my personal space. He fingers it thoughtfully in his big hands before letting it go.
“So what? You’re obsessed with us or something?” He raises the book as if it’s proof.
I’m so caught off guard by his icy tone, I find myself speechless. He takes that as an answer and begins to storm off.
“I’ve dreamt of them my whole life,” I find myself saying quietly.
I don’t see it as he stops and turns, but I know he’s still in the room. “Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had dreams of being lost in a forest, but there’s always this wolf. He always finds me and keeps me safe. The nights I dreamt of him, I’d wake up crying. My parents thought they were nightmares, even took me to a doctor. I was just sad it wasn’t real. It always felt like he was my only friend, like he really understood me. When I turned fifteen my mom bought me this necklace, and it’s been….”
There were really no words to describe it, because when my mom gave me this necklace, it was like she accepted me and my ‘weird’ dreams. Her acceptance meant more to me than anything else. It was the last gift she’d ever give me.
I choke back a sob. “When they ask what you’d take with you in a fire, it would be this.”
I squeeze the plain silver pendant that’s shaped like a wolf, then wipe the sweat off my brow with the sleeve of my shirt as Caleb comes back and sits down next to me. Our thighs line up against each other.
“I’ve been searching for the hikers. I know how bad it looks. I know people don’t believe we can co-exist peacefully, and I just hate that this is happening here. I hate it. That night you found me, I’d tumbled down into some bushes. The thorns scratched me up. That’s all you saw, I swear.”
I reach over timidly and lightly grab his hand. “I believe you,” I say quietly, even though me believing him wasn’t the issue.
“Tell me why you wear the sling.”
I suck in a breath. The memories come back immediately, and I tense up like I’m bracing for the impact all over again.
“If it’s too much, you don’t have to talk about it.”
“You know I’ve never said it out loud? I’ve written it down for the reports, but I’ve never talked about it.”
“I’d be honored if I was the one you told.”
“I don’t know how much of an honor it could be.” His facial expression doesn’t change, so I shrug my shoulders and regurgitate as much as I can stand. “It was a routine call. Someone had called in about a loud party. It was just me and my partner, Ramirez. There was no reason for us to have needed backup. But we showed up, and immediately we knew something was wrong. It wasn’t just a regular party. There were drugs everywhere, smoke in the air, and I could hear someone crying in another room. By the time I leaned in to my radio to call for help, it was too late. It’s like I stood in slow motion as this guy pulled out a gun and aimed it at me. I froze, and my partner, she was always quicker, always thinking ahead. She pushed me out of the way, and the bullet that would have killed me killed her instead. It was only seconds, but it felt like hours. I watched her fall down, and even after being shot, she lifted a finger, pointed behind me. I turned just as the bullet got my shoulder. After that, everything went black. When I woke up, they told me she was dead. I couldn’t even go to the funeral, because if I saw her little girl there crying…I wanted to die. I wished it had been me in the casket instead.”
He stays silent for so long, I start to wonder if I even said it out loud.
“I do a lot of fundraisers here.” His voice is quiet and sad.
“Okay…”
“I’d like to do one for your partner, if you’ll allow it.”
And goddamnit if that didn’t thaw my heart just a little bit.
5
I’d never seen such an extravagant party put together so quickly, but then again, when you have money, I guess that kind of thing isn’t an issue. I was standing in front of the mirror, wearing slacks and a turtleneck, content with staying out of sight, when Risa came in and placed a black evening gown on my bed. With a quick point to me and a smile, she stayed until I put it on, like she knew if she left I’d come out wearing what I already had on. She also did my hair and makeup in a tasteful way that made me feel like I was still me.
I stayed in my room as late as I could, and when I finally came down, I bypassed the ballroom for the terrace, where it was quieter and there were fewer people. I knew Caleb had invited the local police station, as well as our own, and I immediately notice some faces from our precinct. I anxiously wonder how much money they’ll raise tonight, even though no amount would ever ease the burden on my conscious. I stand off to the side, out of sight, but like he has a tracking device on me, Eddie finds me within minutes - and to be honest, given his general hostility toward the werewolves, I’m surprised he’s even here.
“Wow, Frankie. If I would’ve known you dress up like this, I would’ve taken you out more often.”
It was a backhanded compliment. I turn in time to see him staring at my ass, which only infuriates me more. By the time he’s in my personal space, I can smell the alcohol seeping out of his pores. I recognize the possessive look he gets in his eyes when he’s drunk, and I’m instantly angry he’s decided to do this here of all places.
“C’mon, let’s dance.” And before I can even say no, he’s already wrapped his arms awkwardly around me, his hot breath in my ear. He moves from side-to-s
ide, but it feels wrong, and I’m one hundred percent sure to anyone watching, it would look wrong.
“You’re drunk,” I say to his shoulder.
“I am.” He laughs cynically. “But it’s hard not to want to drink when you’ve only been here for a few weeks and already let them call you Isabella when I’ve always had to call you Frankie, like everyone else.”
“I didn’t want to be rude.” He starts swaying us backwards into a corner.
“It’s also irritating that you obviously told them about Ramirez when you’ve never talked about it to anyone…even when I begged you to talk to me. Me, the guy you were sleeping with. So tell me, which werewolf is it, and have you fuc -”
“That’s enough,” Caleb says from behind Eddie, and I close my eyes at the sound of his voice, knowing this is about to get infinitely worse. I look over Eddie’s shoulder and see Caleb staring at us, a tick in his well-defined jaw. Eddie turns around, and when his eyes land on Caleb, he turns back around to stare at me in disgust. “I knew it. I fucking knew it. C’mon, we’re leaving. I’m telling the chief, and I’m taking you home.”
He grabs me by my bad arm and tries to pull me away with him. As I try to stop him, he pulls harder, sending pain lancing through my upper arm and shoulder.
“Eddie, my arm!” I cry out, and when he realizes what he’s done, he immediately releases me. He angrily runs his hand through his hair, and that’s when Caleb decides to make the situation even worse.
“Isabella…” he says smoothly, the name dripping off his tongue like honey, like the word was meant for him and only him to use.
I snap up to see Eddie’s expression morph into pure, undiluted rage. I quickly step in-between both of them.
“Whatever you’re thinking about doing, don’t,” I say and look around so they both realize everyone has stopped and begun staring.
“Perhaps you should go and cool off,” Caleb says to Eddie.
He looks at both of us, anger emanating out of every pore, but he doesn’t say a word; he just storms off. I watch him as he leaves, and I can’t help thinking once word of all this gets to the chief, they’ll pull me out of here. Eddie now had what he wanted all along: plenty of witnesses to all my distractions.
When the party is finally over, I find myself sitting alone on the terrace, staring at the grounds of the manor, willing something to happen, but all is quiet. And just like it always does when he’s near me, my skin breaks out into goosebumps as Caleb takes a seat across from me at the table.
He reaches over and lightly brushes over the small bruise blooming on my arm. “Are you sure you’re okay, Isabella?”
“I’d be better if you stopped calling me Isabella,” I retort, half-watching him, half-staring at the night sky.
“Can I give you an unsolicited observation?”
“You’ve been straightforward with me since the day we met. Why stop now?” I smile to try to get him to smile, but he gives me nothing. His eyebrows are bunched together like he’s not even sure he wants to say it. “I think you’ve spent your whole life hiding, making yourself smaller. You hide behind your badge, you hide behind a nickname. Your name is beautiful. You shouldn’t cheapen it.”
“You’re a little late to that party. Lowell already gave me a similar lecture.”
I see him staring at the bruise, and I have to stop myself from tucking my arm under the table. Maybe he’s right; maybe I do hide part of myself away. Part of it is instinct, like I’m trying to protect myself from any more damage. Some sort of self-preservation.
“Look, I don’t want to minimize this, because I know it’s a big deal. But I can assure you he’s never done anything like this before. Even if you hadn’t shown up, I could’ve handled him; he never would’ve hurt me. I would never be with someone who would hurt me like that.”
I couldn’t understand why I felt the need to explain all that to him, but the truth is, I’d never really felt like someone understood me until I met him. Caleb, who was still relatively a stranger to me but with whom I shared some weird instant connection even I wasn’t able to define. He stays silent, and I keep talking because it feels awkward not to.
“He was just drunk and mad. He asked me to marry him a few months ago, and I said no. Hasn’t stopped him from asking, and hasn’t stopped me from giving him the same answer.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why won’t you marry him?”
“I may hide a lot. You’re right about that. It’s just because all my life, I’ve felt cursed. Everything I’ve ever loved has been taken away from me. It’s like a reverse Midas touch. Every pet I ever had, after a year they’d die. My little brother died in an accident, then my parents, then Ramirez. The only person I have left is my sister. I’m ashamed to say I’ve stayed away from her just because I don’t think my heart can take another loss. Part of me feels like I’m protecting her in some weird way, and God bless her, she lets me believe it even when it kills her on the inside. And so, getting married, having kids, honestly, it’s just not in the cards for me. And besides, I don’t think I’ve ever been with someone and told them I loved them because I just never felt it. Sometimes I wonder if I’m incapable of loving someone in that way?”
He’s staring hard at me, and in the moonlight like this, just me and him, it’s easy to get lost in his eyes. The way he looks at me... it’s like he can see into my soul, and it’s unnerving. It’s so tempting to surrender to the feeling that he could be the one to fix me. Being around him, it makes me want to believe in fairy tales. I look away first, because the way he’s been looking at me, it’s scary as hell.
“We raised twenty-five thousand tonight.” He doesn’t even pause for a reaction; he just continues on as if it’s nothing. “And I’m going to match that.”
Tears are instantly swimming in my eyes. “That’s…” I try but fail to come up with any words, because there aren’t any. Nothing I could say would ever come close to conveying what this means to me. “You hardly know me. You didn’t know her. Half the police officers don’t even trust you. Why would you do that, Caleb?”
“Because when you said it should have been you in that casket, it killed me. And because I owe your partner…everything. She saved you. If you would’ve died that night, I never would have met you.” He slowly runs his fingers over my arm, and the sensation dances along my skin, the tingles reaching into my bones.
“Dance with me.”
An uncomfortable laugh erupts out of me. “The party is over. There’s no music.”
“Dance with me anyway.” And immediately, I realize this could be dangerous territory.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He just shrugs his shoulders and gives me an easy smile I’m sure would make even the coldest of icebergs start to thaw.
“Dance with me anyway.”
And so, I do. And where Eddie and I were wrong in every way, Caleb and I mold together effortlessly. He gently places my bad arm on his shoulder, and quietly we glide from side-to-side; the only sounds are the crickets and the swish of my gown on the ground. I’m tucked into him like I belong there, my forehead to the side of his cheek. My heart starts thumping wildly in my chest, and the feeling hits me so hard, I immediately stiffen.
I want him to kiss me.
I want it so bad, my mouth goes dry with want, with need, with lust. It’s not a feeling that’s foreign to me, lust, but I’ve never felt it quite at this intensity, and it’s shocking me how someone I hardly know could have grown on me so quickly. Makes me want to believe in soulmates and destiny and being in the right place at the right fucking time. And slowly, so slowly, I feel his hand cup my chin and lift it so I’m looking right into his face and he’s looking into mine. As his hand wraps around my jaw, the current surges through my skin, into my pores.
“I don’t want to ask, because I’m afraid of what you might say, but I’m going to ask anyway…”
His voice comes off deep and throaty, a
nd Jesus Christ if that doesn’t make me want him even more. I don’t know what he wants to ask, but I know what I hope he’s going to ask, and it’s leaving me breathless and my heart is sputtering like an old Pinto that’s out of gas.
“Ask it.” It comes out a lot huskier than I intend, and if he could read me by looking at me, then he most certainly can read me by my tone.
His lips slightly turn up at the corners, like he wants to laugh at me. I begin to pull away, but he holds me tight to him, and his almost smile fades. “What would you do if I kissed you right now?” His lips inch closer to mine and hover, so close, but yet so not where I want them.
“I’d let you.”
His lips are so close that when I say the words, they brush up against his, and the second I feel them, my whole body goes taut in anticipation. Damn it if he’s not going to make me eat my words. Because this, these feelings coursing through my veins, they make me want to believe in the forever and ever kind of love, like it could exist, maybe even for someone like me.
The minute he fully presses his lips against mine, he means business, and he’s taking no prisoners. His kiss is savage and rough, and it lights a fire in me that lights up even the darkest corners. Lips, tongue, teeth. He uses every tool in his arsenal against my mouth; if this how playing dirty is, I never want to play clean again. My hands are on his neck, in his hair; his are on my back, roaming further down. We grab at each other like any amount of pulling or tugging could never be enough, like we could claw ourselves apart and still want more, need more. He yanks back the strap of my dress, baring my right shoulder, then his hot breath is in my ear. As he sucks my earlobe roughly into his mouth, I’m a rag doll in his arms, completely pliant.
“I want to kiss you here…” He runs his hand from my jawbone down to my collarbone…
“God, kiss me anywhere you want to...” I mutter breathlessly.
Before he makes his move, I plant my lips on his neck. He immediately stiffens, and I take that as a good sign, so I don’t stop. I pull the collar of his shirt back, but because of the buttons, I can’t pull it very far. He reaches over stiffly and undoes the top buttons to give me more room. He yanks at his shirt himself, ripping off one of the buttons he hadn’t undone, and bares his shoulder to me. I trace over one of the scars I can see, and as I do, he clenches his jaw hard. I have a hard time telling if it’s from restraint, desire, or both.