by Tara Johnson
Warning bells rang in her mind. She could not be swayed by her wayward emotions anymore.
“Maisey sent something for you. Here.” She pulled the parcel from her skirt pocket. “I’m sorry if it’s a bit crushed. She said you must eat it all.”
A tired smile ghosted his lips. “Dear woman.” He blinked up at her. “They are part of the operation, you know.”
Those two elderly siblings helped set slave children free? Maisey was right. Appearances could indeed be deceiving. “I’m quite fond of them.”
“They’re good people. Tell Maisey I will eat every bite.” He looked at her for a long moment. “Cadence, I—”
“I’m needed to distribute water. I should go.”
She slid away from him and hastened toward the buckets waiting to be dispersed. Canvas and wooden poles were not enough barrier to protect her heart.
Hours ceased to have meaning as time was suspended in Manassas. Joshua felt his hands would never be clean again. Blood forever stained them. No sooner had he operated on one than a hundred more waited.
He turned to one ambulance runner. “How bad are the casualties?”
The runner wiped a forearm across his sweaty head and replaced his kepi. “Heard the captain say nigh unto ten thousand of our boys, but it looks like more than that to me. Word is the Rebs lost almost as many on their side too.”
Joshua bowed his head, resisting the urge to spit out an oath. Such waste. “How could this have happened? And at the very spot where the Rebels surprised us only last year?”
The ambulance runner shook his head. “It’s a pity. General Pope misjudged Lee somehow.”
Joshua studied the hillside, covered with runners, nurses, doctors, and volunteers. Even more were scheduled to arrive throughout the coming days, but a thousand would not be enough to help twenty thousand wounded. Far too many would be dead before help could arrive. Even the land itself looked as if a massive twister had cut through, leaving nothing but destruction in its wake.
“Brawner’s Farm will never be the same.”
The runner studied him with a critical eye. “You need sleep, Doc.”
Joshua frowned. “I can’t sleep when so many are suffering.”
“You’ll not do them a lick of good if you succumb to exhaustion.”
“I’m not to that point. Not yet. But I will gather some fresh air for a few moments.”
The soldier nodded and grabbed the poles of an empty bloodstained stretcher, ready to resume his trek back down into the valley of the dying.
The children. Joshua had not checked on them since the battle started. How he missed them.
He had seen Cadence walking toward the laundering tents. Grabbing more linens or washing? Either way, he would welcome a minute with her.
He trudged forward, his feet feeling as if they were weighted with lead. He squinted against the midmorning sun winking through the trees. The only trees not severed like toothpicks from cannon and shell. He shuddered to think what would have happened if the battle had shifted farther south, toward the safe house.
The smell of lye stung his nose as he drew close. For a moment, he just slowed and watched.
Cadence presided over a washpot, stirring a bubbling cauldron of soapy water with a paddle. A roaring fire crackled underneath. Her cheeks were flushed and rosy from the heat, her dark hair coming loose from its pins. Despite her own exhaustion, here she stood, dutifully washing linens and bandages so the doctors could keep working.
She’d strung a long line of rope between thick pines, where other nurses were hanging dripping strips of clean bandages and cloths. An ambulance runner dropped sticks into a pile before adding another load of dirty linens to the stack near the cauldron.
“Thank you, sir.” Cadence rewarded him with a wide smile. “Good help is hard to find.”
The young lad’s chest puffed out. “Ain’t much, but I can haul wood. You gonna need more?”
“I’m sure I will. The casualties are massive. The doctors will have their hands full for days to come. The help you are providing will do much.”
The runner nodded proudly. At Joshua’s approach, they turned. Everyone in the tent smiled, save Cadence. Her blue eyes flared with something he couldn’t quite place before she dropped her focus to the cauldron of soaking cloth.
“How do you fare, Dr. Ivy?” one of the nurses asked as she wiped away a bead of sweat.
“To be honest, the work is horrible. I have no idea when it will end.” His gaze rolled to Cadence, but she studiously avoided looking his way.
The young ambulance runner approached and saluted. “Private Wilson, New York Fifth. I’ve heard the nurses saying what a skilled surgeon you are, sir, and, well, I just wanted to say I hope to be just like you someday.”
Joshua offered a tired smile, heartened by the lad’s enthusiasm amid such heartache. “If your fortitude and optimism today is any indication, I believe you will be, son.”
Private Wilson beamed.
“Here.” Cadence moved to Joshua’s side, a cup of hot coffee in one hand and a tin containing a golden piece of fry bread in the other.
His stomach growled as if on cue. “Thank you.”
A pretty blush stained Cadence’s cheeks. She looked away.
Another woman approached—a short, plump woman with her thin brown hair pulled back into a strict knot. “Nurse Piper! Got more wash for you.”
Cadence nodded. “Put it in the washpot. I just started more.”
The woman panted as she struggled to dump the bulging basket into the cauldron. “There.” The severe woman stared Joshua down, and he fought the urge to squirm as he swallowed his coffee. She reminded him a bulldog as she scowled and placed her hands on her hips. “Do you I know you, mister?”
His brows rose into his hairline. “I don’t believe so, ma’am. My name is Dr. Ivy.” He looked to Cadence.
“Pardon me. I failed to introduce both of you.” Cadence gripped the wash paddle and held her slim hand toward the older woman. “Dr. Ivy, Mrs. Meade. Mrs. Meade, may I introduce Dr. Ivy, surgeon to the Union.”
“Ma’am.” He dipped his head and her scowl lightened.
“’Tis a pleasure, sir.”
He turned to Cadence. “How were the children last night?”
Her shoulders lifted. “Truthfully? A bit frightened. The girls didn’t like the sound of the cannons. Neither did James, though he tried hard not to show it. All of them were worried about you. It took quite a while to get them to sleep.”
“But you settled in?”
“Yes, quite nicely. Maisey and Moxley are dears. And the children slept with me, so I think they felt safe.”
“You two are married?”
The sharp voice caused both Joshua and Cadence to turn with a start.
Mrs. Meade stood staring at them and continued, “It’s a mighty good thing. I was worried. Ain’t safe for an unmarried woman out here. ’Specially a comely one like your wife.”
Crimson streaked Cadence’s neck as she dipped her head. Joshua tugged his collar. “No, Mrs. Meade, you misunderstand. Nurse Piper and I are not married. She is a laundress and nurse for the Union and has agreed to care for my children while I work.”
The woman’s gray eyes flashed. “In your tent?”
“No!” He winced at the panic lacing his tone. “No, nothing like that. Nurse Piper and the children are staying with some friends of mine. My quarters are near the surgical tent.”
Mrs. Meade eyed him as if he were the very devil. “I see.” Her gaze shifted to Cadence and a knowing glance passed between them. Cadence looked away.
Mrs. Meade forced a tight smile that seemed altogether opposite of friendly. “I’ll bring you more wash soon.”
She scurried down the hill, glancing backward at Joshua as she departed. He bit into the fry bread and chewed, his eyes narrowing. “I don’t like that woman.”
“Hush.” Cadence frowned and sliced more chunks of lye into the boiling pot. Grabbing the paddle,
she stirred. The steam dampened the tendrils of hair around her temples. “If she is intent on making trouble, you need not give her a reason.”
“There is too much to do for her to make trouble.”
“Precisely. Put her meddlesome ways from your mind and rest.”
Despite the truth of her statement, Joshua couldn’t shake the feeling Mrs. Meade could cause more trouble for them than he ever would have expected.
Hours bled into days. The moans of agony fell into silence as death stole the life from those they could not reach. Between surgeries, Joshua grabbed fitful snatches of sleep. On the fourth day, or perhaps the fifth, he stumbled from the surgical tent. His neck and shoulders ached. His vision blurred to the point where he saw double. He no longer felt hunger. His body craved only sleep.
He blinked against the afternoon light, though it was mellowed by the thick rain clouds rolling in overhead. In some spots they were as dark as charcoal. The farmland was yet covered with the dead. A sickening stench putrefied the air. Gravediggers worked furiously, but their speed was no match for the number of slain.
Joshua winced as he looked up at the darkening sky. The downpour would do no good for those exposed to the elements. Thousands lay prostrate on the open ground with naught but hay beneath for comfort.
The slim form of a young woman hovering above a dead soldier snagged his attention. Her shoulders sagged, then shuddered. She was weeping. Cadence.
He walked swiftly toward her and lifted her gently to her feet, wiping the tears from her eyes with the pads of his thumbs.
She sniffled. “Forgive me. Is it silly to weep over one when there are so many?”
Her lovely face was streaked with grime, but she had never looked more beautiful.
“No, it’s not silly. Your heart is tender. Don’t let the cruelty of this place harden it.”
She nodded and swiped away her remaining tears.
“Where are the children?”
“With Maisey. I felt guilty for not coming the past two days, so Moxley brought me this morning.” She fell silent. Her fatigue was palpable.
“Have the children been sleeping?”
“Some.”
“How long has it been since you’ve slept well?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know.”
His eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
She looked down. “It’s hard to rest knowing the men are suffering. And Etta . . . well, she misses you.”
He blew out a heavy breath. This was taking a heavy toll on everyone.
“So you care for my children through the night and wash laundry and tend to dying men during the day.” Stubborn, wonderful woman. “You must not continue. You’ll collapse.”
She lifted her chin. “And how much rest have you received, Dr. Ivy?”
He snapped his mouth shut. Her rosebud lips twisted into a saucy smile. “It appears we suffer from the same malady.”
He chuckled lightly. “Yes, it seems so.”
Heavy footfalls approached. Joshua turned to see Captain Archer striding toward him, his countenance stern.
“Pardon the interruption, Dr. Ivy. Miss.” His eyes flashed toward Cadence before settling like ice on Joshua. “I must speak to you immediately about a matter of utmost importance.”
Unease rippled through his middle. He nodded toward Cadence. “Rest while you can.” He followed the captain’s quick stride, his senses screaming. From the corner of his eye, he felt someone watching him. He turned his head to see the snide smirk of Mrs. Meade from beside a tent. An itch nagged between his shoulder blades as he entered the captain’s tent and stood stiffly.
Captain Archer faced him with a stern eye. “Dr. Ivy, it was my understanding when you requested permission to bring your family, the female in question was your wife.”
Joshua said nothing.
Captain Archer paced, his hands behind his back. “As you are well aware, regulations and rules in the military are not merely in place as guidelines. They are foundational to ensuring peace. They are for the good of both the soldiers and civilians.”
He stopped and glared. “This is why I find it so troubling to hear accusations that the woman caring for your children is not your wife.”
Joshua lifted his chin but made no rebuttal.
The captain’s face mottled red. “Blast it, man, what have you to say?”
Joshua clenched his teeth. “As of yet, I’ve not been asked anything.”
Captain Archer’s nostrils flared. “Is the woman caring for your children, the woman hired as a laundress by the Union, your wife?”
“No, she is not.”
He straightened his shoulders. “I see.”
Joshua kept his gaze direct. He had no intention of looking away.
“Dr. Ivy, did you intend to deceive me?”
“I don’t see how I could deceive you when you never asked.”
The captain slammed his fist into his makeshift table, causing the inkwell to tip and the papers to scatter. “There is such a thing as propriety, Dr. Ivy! Christian behavior and decorum. I could scarcely believe it when Mrs. Meade told me. Especially when I witnessed your behavior with the young woman.”
“My behavior has been nothing but honorable, sir.”
The captain speared him with a hard look. “You may have kept your distance from her, but I witnessed your interaction with her several mornings ago.” His lined face softened. “I may be gray-headed, but I am neither blind nor deaf, Dr. Ivy. I can recognize a man in love.”
Joshua’s breath snagged. “I was merely trying to comfort her. She had witnessed the devastation, and—”
“Enough!” He stroked his salt-and-pepper beard, his eyes shrewd. “I am not foolish enough to accept the word of one silly busybody. I have checked with several nurses working here, all of whom vouched for Nurse Piper’s character after acknowledging they worked with her in Washington.”
Joshua relaxed a fraction. “All is well then.”
“No, it is not. You see, they were also under the impression Nurse Piper was married and insisted she wore a wedding band while working in the hospital. Miss Dix is quite adamant, as you well know, about the requirement for nurses. They must be either married or widowed to be considered, and Miss Piper is neither. We cannot have unmarried women mingling and treating men. It’s unseemly, and we certainly cannot have them tending children for unwed physicians. So I’ll be more direct. Is Miss Piper married to anyone?”
He paused for a moment, fearing his response would end the nursing career Cadence loved. Forgive me, Cadence. “No, she is not.”
“Then there is only one solution that can resolve this matter satisfactorily to salvage both of your reputations.”
“Speak plainly, Captain.”
His whiskered jaw firmed. “You will either marry Nurse Piper immediately or you will be relieved from your post as physician. The choice is yours.”
Chapter 25
CADENCE KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG the moment Joshua stormed to her side and pulled her away from her washpot, yanking the paddle from her hand and tossing it into the grass.
“What are you doing?”
He cupped her elbow. “We need to speak. Now.”
Her heart pinched as he led her into the privacy of the woods behind the laundering tents. Within the canopy of the forest, she turned to him and clutched his sleeve.
“What’s wrong? Is it that man who was watching the children? Is he here?”
He blinked and shook his head. “No. No, nothing like that.”
“Oh.” Her heart resumed its normal rhythm. “Then what is it?”
He swallowed. “Captain Archer, with the help of Mrs. Meade, has discovered you are not married.”
She studied him, trying to understand. “Am I supposed to be?”
“If you remember, according to Miss Dix, yes.”
“But you came to me during the influenza outbreak and asked me to come to the hospital to work.”
A muscle tic
ked in his jaw. “Why do you think I suggested you wear that wedding band while at Judiciary Square?”
“To eliminate questions. To protect my reputation. But you promised my unattached status would not be an issue. You said there were measures you could take to ensure I could continue working.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Which is why I’m here now. And it’s not just the fact that you’re unmarried. Captain Archer also believes having you care for my children with both of us unwed is . . . indecent.”
“He thinks we are—?”
“Yes.” Sorrow clouded his expression as his gaze held hers. “Forgive me. In my haste to protect my children, I didn’t consider every aspect of this situation. In the tumult of war, who could imagine superiors noticing or caring about the platonic arrangements between a laundress and a surgeon?” He blew out a thick breath. “I hold sway at Judiciary Square. I have none out here. The fault is mine.”
“What shall be done then?”
His lips pressed tight. “We have two options. We either marry immediately or we return home, for neither of us will be allowed to treat the wounded any longer.”
She stepped backward. Marry? Marry Joshua? She lifted her gaze, and a warm flush washed through her at the intense look in his eyes. Heat spread through her belly. “I—I don’t know what to say.”
“I know. It’s a horrible shock. I don’t want you to feel you have to choose, but Captain Archer has given us an ultimatum.”
So she had been correct—Joshua didn’t want her. Not really. He needed to protect the children. He wanted to care for the wounded men. She was only the means to an end.
She fought the urge to cry as she felt a tickle rise in her nose. “And Captain Archer assures us both we can continue to doctor and nurse upon our marriage?”
“Yes.”
“And you believe the children are still safer here than back home with Miriam?”
“For the time being? Yes.”
She looked into his eyes and her world tilted. She loved him. How she yearned to have him love her in return, but she would not throw herself at his feet.
“What do you want, Joshua?”