by Jan Bowles
“I’ll have to think about it,” she replied haughtily, not willing to admit he was always right. She loved their relationship. Although Max was clearly the Master in their D/s lifestyle, they didn’t live it twenty-four-seven. Outside of the D/s relationship she was still her own woman, and had free will. She enjoyed exerting it whenever appropriate. It certainly made their bond far stronger because of it.
Stubborn as ever, Max finally replied, “We’ll see.”
“We will.” Ella leaned forward and kissed Max on the cheek. “I’m going over to the house now. There are a few things I want to keep. Then I’ll get the house clearance people in. They’re coming later on to give me a quote.”
“Okay, baby, if you need any help, give me a call.”
“I will.” Ella began walking from the inner courtyard. She waved as she reached the entrance lobby. “See you later.” She felt on top of the world. Life couldn’t get much better.
Outside stood her new car. A red Jaguar. The one Max had bought for her. Feeling almost euphoric, she hummed a cheerful tune on the twenty-minute drive to her old home in Andover. She didn’t even get a gut reaction as she turned the last corner and the house appeared. It looked like any other. Nothing more than bricks and mortar, and certainly nothing to be afraid of. It seemed sad and slightly neglected. The lawn definitely needed watering.
Her heart felt buoyant as she parked on the drive. The large sold sign filled her vision. Now she could finally move on with her life.
Once inside, she opened the windows to air the place, and set about choosing the items she wanted to keep. She’d already moved all her clothes and personal possessions over to Max’s a few weeks ago, when their relationship started to become more serious.
There were a few wedding gifts which held sentimental value that she placed in the hallway. Kirk had bought her several personal items from around the world, on his travels with the Marines. They may have been looking at a divorce, but she couldn’t just forget the years they’d spent together. They still meant something to her.
Kirk’s laptop rested on the coffee table exactly where she’d left it. On a whim she plugged it in and booted it up. After a minute or two, several new e-mail messages flagged up.
Most were annoying spam, but a couple were from Joey, Kirk’s buddy in the Marines. The first e-mail was a reply to the message she’d sent him nearly two months ago.
Hi, Ella,
When I’m back in the U.S., I’ll let you know.
If you want to talk, we’ll meet.
Joey
The second message, which was dated a week ago, read,
Hi, Ella,
I haven’t heard from you since my last communication, so I guess you’re busy.
If you still want to talk, I’m in Virginia until the 20th.
You can text me on 757-206-0001.
Joey
Damn, it was already the 18th. She quickly rummaged through her purse, and eventually found her cell phone. Her fingers hovered over the keypad as she wondered whether to text Joey. Did she really need to know what had led Kirk to commit suicide? Surely she was happy and settled now? Why dig up the past? She shook her head. In a year, possibly two, the not knowing would come back and haunt her. It was finally time to know everything. She was strong enough to deal with it—good or bad.
Quickly, she typed her message, and clicked send. If Joey didn’t get back, then she would finally let it go. It was all in the lap of the gods now.
Chapter Twenty
The next day
The early morning sun streamed through the windshield as Ella drove the last few miles to Wichita Airport to meet Joey. Their meeting had been set up very quickly. When she’d received a reply to her text message within half an hour, they’d decided to meet up the very next day. Joey would be returning to active duty in Afghanistan the following evening, so it would be the only window of opportunity available for them both. She really appreciated the effort Joey was making to see her.
Ella felt a little guilty. She hadn’t told Max what she was doing. Instead she’d made him believe she was visiting her attorney, in order to finalize the paperwork on the sale of her house. This was something she had to do on her own. When she finally knew the reason for Kirk’s suicide, she’d tell Max everything. She knew she was deceiving the man she loved, and it went against everything he’d taught her. But she had to do it her way.
She glanced at her watch as she arrived at the airport. Joey’s plane was due to land in ten minutes’ time. Perfect.
With no time to lose she locked the car and quickly walked to arrivals. She felt agitated and nervous, but she needed to know everything. She tried not to read too much into her emotions. But she couldn’t stop her hand from shaking as she pushed open the large glass door and entered the terminal building. She took a seat and waited.
Within twenty minutes a familiar face appeared. Dark, crew-cut hair, blue eyes, and a muscular physique made most people stop and stare. When Kirk had first started training with the Marines, she’d seen a lot of Joey and his girlfriend, Amanda, while stationed in San Diego.
“Thanks for coming, Joey,” she greeted him, and she kissed his cheek. Was it her, or did he look a little pensive?
“Good to see you too, Ella. It’s been a long time.”
“Shall we go for a coffee? How long have you got before your return flight?”
Joey checked his watch. “We’ve got a couple of hours, and a proper coffee sounds great. Never could stand the in-flight stuff.”
“Fresh-ground coffee it is then. My treat. I really appreciate the time you’ve taken to come and see me.” Ella led the way to Sarah’s café. “Take a seat. I’ll be right back.”
When she returned, she handed him the steaming hot beverage and placed a plate of delicious-looking donuts between them. “Just in case you’re hungry.”
Joey pointed at the sugarcoated confectionery. “I hope you’re gonna help me out with these, Ella? I can’t eat them all myself.”
She laughed. “You’ll have to. Donuts are definitely off-limits for me.” The unease of the meeting was slowly dissipating. “But you Marines need all the calories you can get. What with all those twenty-mile marches you’re ordered to do.”
Joey smiled. “Not so much training these days, Ella. It’s all front line action now.”
Ella sensed their conversation was getting closer to the reason she’d requested the meeting. What had Kirk seen and experienced that depressed him enough to take his own life? For just a little while longer she didn’t want to know. Instead, she asked, “How’s Amanda and the kids?”
Joey puffed up with pride as he spoke about his children. “Oh, they’re doing just fine, Ella. Little Luke is four now, and Tammy is almost two.” He removed a wallet from his jacket pocket, and produced two photographs. “Look, aren’t they adorable?”
“They’re just beautiful, Joey. You must be so proud.” For a brief moment she wished she and Kirk had had children. Then reality struck home. Kids never stopped a man having an affair with another woman.
Joey cleared his throat. “You’re looking a lot better than the last time I saw you.”
“I feel a lot better. I’ve met a new man, who’s very sweet.” Had she just described Maximiliano D’Alesandro as sweet? She couldn’t help smiling. He’d hate that description. Max was everything she wanted in a man, and more.
“I’m glad. You deserve to be happy, Ella. Is it serious?”
“I honestly and truly believe it is, Joey. Max has turned my life around in the last few months. He’s made me realize that life is for the living.”
Joey nodded affirmatively. “That’s real good, Ella. I’m so happy for you.” He glanced nervously around the airport terminal. She figured he was ready to talk about Kirk. Ella decided to put him out of his misery. “I know all about Kathy.”
For a moment he looked directly at her, and then said. “I wanted to explain everything at Kirk’s funeral.” He shrugged his shoulders and
breathed out. “But I figured it wasn’t the right time. You looked so shell-shocked and out of it. I just didn’t have the heart to give you any more bad news.”
Ella clasped his hand in hers, and squeezed tightly. “That’s okay, Joey. I probably wouldn’t have appreciated it at the time. I found out about Kirk’s affair six weeks ago, when I accessed his computer. That was when I first e-mailed you.”
He nodded. “That figures. Kirk didn’t go anywhere without that damned laptop.” He sipped his coffee. “I felt so bad when I found out he was seeing Kathy. I know what great friends you and Amanda are. It caused a lot of guilt on my part, I can tell you. Kirk was my best friend, but then, so are you. Even to this day, Amanda doesn’t know. Kirk put me in an impossible position.”
It was clear from Joey’s pained expression that he regretted the uncomfortable situation he’d found himself in. Ella touched his hand. “It must have been difficult for you being in the middle of it all. I guess you had mixed loyalties.”
“I did. I just wished things had turned out differently.”
Ella nervously placed a donut on her plate. She licked the sugar from her finger and thumb. “I guess I’ve got a craving for one after all.” Any moment now and she’d find the courage to ask the one question she needed answered. Would Joey answer truthfully?
“What’s Kathy like?”
Joey took a deep breath. “Kathy joined our battalion about two years ago, as part of the Female Engagement Team. It’s thought that women are far better at gaining access to information than their male counterparts.” Joey shrugged. “Less of a threat I suppose. She was very vivacious and immediately fitted in. Everyone loved Kathy.” He cleared his throat. “This is a little difficult for me, Ella.”
“Please go on,” Ella urged. “It’s okay. I’m at peace with everything now. I just need to know exactly what happened.”
Joey looked uncomfortable, but continued. “Kathy and Kirk hit it off from the start. You know what Kirk was like. He always had an answer for everything. He obviously impressed Kathy with his silver tongue. The whole battalion knew something was happening between them, when they’d disappear together for long periods of time. When they started taking leave at the same time, they just couldn’t deny it any longer. It’s hard for me to tell you this, Ella, but Kirk was totally besotted with Kathy. He adored her. He worshipped the very ground she walked on. We all thought he was a lucky bastard to be honest. She had this power over men, and she picked Kirk, and claimed him as hers. He was powerless to resist.”
Ella felt her brows drawing together. “She had this power over men? Why are you referring to the woman who stole my husband in the past tense, Joey? Has she left the Marines? I expect she’s moved on to the next man, now Kirk’s not available anymore.” She still seethed with anger every time she thought of the bitch.
Ella watched the color drain from Joey’s face. “Fuck, Ella. I thought you knew.”
“Knew what?”
“For fuck’s sake, Ella. Kathy’s dead. She was blown up by an IED on the road near Marjah, in Helmand Province.”
“IED?”
“Improvised explosive device. Kirk was two Jeeps behind when it happened. I think seeing her body blown to pieces like that damaged him beyond repair. Sure, he’d seen plenty of dead bodies before. As Marines on active duty, we all have. It’s something we learn to cope with on a daily basis. But he and Kathy were real close. I’m sorry to tell you this, Ella. But he loved Kathy so much he just didn’t want to live without her. I guess that was the difference. The medics checked him out. They said he was physically fit, but I was his best buddy and knew him well enough to know that a light had gone out in his life. The Marines insisted on him attending counseling. In hindsight, we now know it wasn’t worth jack shit.”
Her hands shook uncontrollably. She felt totally unprepared for this. Kathy was dead? She’d hated the woman for so long now. She found it hard to make sense of her own feelings. This woman had seduced her husband. It was now clear why Kirk had tried to strangle her. If Kathy had died, then so should she. The words he’d muttered as his hands had tightened around her neck, squeezing the life from her, filled her thoughts. In her mind she once again saw his face distorted with grotesque anger. His words still haunted her. It should have been you. It should have been you. It should have been you. He’d wanted her dead. When he’d killed himself, she’d naïvely thought it was the guilt of believing he’d killed his own wife, which had driven him to suicide. How wrong she’d been. Kirk didn’t give a fuck about her. He’d actually hoped he’d killed her. He didn’t care anymore. He just wanted and needed to be with Kathy. Kirk couldn’t stand the thought of life without the woman he truly and deeply loved.
Tears streamed down Ella’s cheeks. Kirk had hated her until his dying breath. He’d despised her. He’d rather join a dead woman than find some form of peace with his own wife. She knew then that she hadn’t been enough of a woman to keep Kirk alive. He’d hardly noticed her when he’d returned home for the last time.
Like a speeding roller coaster, her confidence started to slip away, faster and faster gathering speed, leaving her forever. She wasn’t enough of a woman for Kirk when he was alive, that was why he’d had an affair. So how could she ever be enough of a woman for man like Maximiliano D’Alesandro? A man who needed his sexual appetite fulfilled. A man who could have his pick of women.
Soon Max would tire of her. Just like Kirk. History would repeat itself.
Chapter Twenty-One
One week later
Max peered over the top of his newspaper as he sat at the breakfast table with Ella. She’d been quiet all week. He watched her push the egg around her plate. She’d hardly touched her breakfast, again. Her face looked pinched and drawn. The woman, who had blossomed over the last two months had disappeared. An unemotional, gaunt figure took her place. He knew she had something on her mind.
Last week he’d found out she’d lied to him. Ella said she’d gone to sign the papers, finalizing the sale of her house. An hour after she’d left, he’d taken a phone call from her attorney, wishing to speak with her. When he’d pointed out that she should already be at his office, her attorney had politely informed him that she’d already signed the relevant papers the previous day.
He had hoped she would come to him and confide her worries. After waiting a whole week, he figured that wasn’t going to happen. If the woman he loved refused to confide in him, there were just two options left. Leave her be and watch their relationship slide further into decline, or try and reach her before it was too late. Now was time to take matters into his own hands.
With exaggerated movements, Max folded the newspaper and slammed it on the breakfast table. He saw Ella flinch as he caught her by surprise. Her eyes warily looked at him. She tried to smile, but he knew it didn’t come easy.
“I’m sorry, Max. Did you say something?”
“You seem a little distracted, Ella. Is there anything you wish to confide in me?”
Her eyes looked huge and she shook her head. “No, Max. I’m perfectly okay.”
He leaned back in his chair and studied her intensely for a while. She squirmed uneasily under his scrutiny. He knew she was still lying. “Are you sure? You know you can’t have any secrets from me. If you are to be my permanent and true slave, you have to surrender everything to me, and that includes your personal thoughts. I need to know everything you are thinking, good or bad.”
He just saw her lower lip tremble before she covered her unwanted reaction, with a hand to her mouth. “I’m fine, Max. I just have a throbbing headache, that’s all.”
“And you’ve had it for an entire week,” he stated incredulously.
“Yes,” she answered meekly.
Max breathed in. “I’ve tried to be patient with you, Ella, but the time for waiting is over. You need to come face-to-face with your Master’s displeasure. I know you are keeping something from me, and it is my duty to find out what it is. Last chance, Ella. Have
you anything to say?”
When she didn’t answer, Max sighed resignedly. “Then go and prepare yourself, and meet me in the playroom in half an hour. You need reminding of your place.”
“Yes, Master.” Ella rose almost immediately and hurried from the dining room.
He kept his thoughts firmly on the task in hand. It was his duty to calmly win what he needed from her. To have her true submission would be priceless. Using anger would serve no purpose at all, but using punishment and reward would eventually bring him the results he desired the most.
Max removed his T-shirt and strode over to the playroom. He unlocked one of the full-length mirrors and withdrew a large, bespoke A-frame made of steel. It stood over eight feet tall and could accommodate a person within its structure. He locked it into position in the center of the room by attaching the feet to the floor and clipping the top to the ceiling of the playroom. From behind a wall mirror, he pulled out a table and neatly laid out a number of items that he removed from the old chest that lay in the corner. Some of them were just for show, like the antique pear of anguish. It was an evil device that opened up, inside the body, and was used frequently in medieval times as a sadistic form of torture. If he as much as showed it to Ella, he felt sure she’d use her safeword. He dimmed the lights, setting the scene. Using a video projector, he made the playroom look like the interior of a medieval dungeon. He could almost smell the sawdust on the floor.
Ella appeared exactly on time, as he knew she would. Her beauty still astounded him as she walked toward him in her flowing white robe. He’d given it to her as a gift. It heightened the sacrificial elements of their role-play.