“Ian, please let me handle this.”
“Sadie—”
“I mean it. And don’t go telling Paige either. Despite what the two of you think, I am more than capable of dealing with things on my own.”
“She’s pretty good at it, actually.”
Sadie tensed at the sound of Paul’s voice. How had she missed the door chime? She released Ian and stepped up to the counter. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Paul scratched his fingers through his hair. “Can we go someplace to talk?”
Ian cleared his throat and tossed his apartment keys at her. “I even cleaned last night.”
When she went to protest, Ian rolled his eyes and started making a cappuccino. “What was that? I can’t hear you over the sound of the steam. Going to take a break? Okay, see you later.”
Paul chuckled and held out his hand. “I promise to behave.”
Seeing that she wasn’t about to get any support from Ian, Sadie pulled off her apron and tossed it at her brother. “We can take the back stairs.”
They didn’t speak as they went out through the kitchen to the hidden staircase that led to Ian’s upstairs apartment. Paul even kept his distance as she fumbled with the keys in the lock, waiting until she stepped inside and held the door open.
“Funny enough, he doesn’t have a coffeemaker. I can offer you a cup of tea though.”
“Yeah, that would be perfect.”
Paul sat at the table and stared at her as Sadie did her best to ignore him and get everything they needed for tea. Unfortunately, that took far less time than it took for the water to boil, leaving Sadie at a loss for what to say.
“I’m sorry.” Paul’s voice was nearly lost over the sounds of the kettle. “I’m an idiot.”
The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, the one that had formed the moment Paul stormed out of Josh’s room, finally started to recede. “It took you six days to figure that out?”
She glanced his way, not sure she wanted to know what he was feeling. The last thing she wanted was pity, especially coming from Paul.
The snap of the kettle turning off had her jumping. She threw tea bags into the mugs and quickly poured the water to the brim, carefully carrying them over to the table. Paul took his without looking up and began to rub his thumb across the top of the handle.
Sadie had to fight every natural instinct she had to want to smooth things over and dismiss his overreaction. To carry on like nothing had happened. But if she did that then any chance they had at a real relationship would wither and die here at this table. She’d be damned if she was going to let that happen.
“You know what?” She pulled the tea bag out and took a big sip, letting the liquid burn her tongue. “You’re right, you were an idiot.”
Paul flicked his gaze to her but didn’t otherwise move.
After taking another sip, Sadie set her mug down with a clunk and leaned across the table. She wasn’t going to settle for being the friend, not when she wanted more, but she needed to remind him of that basis first.
“Do you remember a few years ago, that camping trip the ten of us took up to Sibbald Point?” Her question was a bit out there, but she wanted to get them back to a place that was familiar to them both, a common ground they’d be able to move forward on.
The smirk on his lips chased away some of the darkness of his expression. “Ryan and Scott, running naked around the fire.”
They both chuckled and she reached out to brush his hand. “Do you remember we stayed up all night talking?”
“God, what was it we were debating?” He sat back in his chair as the tension in his shoulders visibly lessened. “It was something stupid.”
“Movie remakes, blessing or a curse.” It had been the first time she’d realized her feelings for Paul had the potential to be a lot more than simple lust. The laugher they’d shared, the close conversation, had kept her fired up for weeks after. “We hadn’t even realized it was morning until your girlfriend stumbled out of the tent.”
He nodded. “We broke up shortly after that.”
“You never did tell me why.”
“I realized we didn’t have much in common.” Meeting her gaze, Paul’s smile faded. “Not like I did with you.”
Thank God it hadn’t only been her. “We’ve been friends for a long time.”
“I know.”
“I thought you trusted me?”
“I do.” Paul pushed his mug aside. “You know I do.”
She let her gaze drop to the space between them, knowing if she met his eyes head-on, she’d back down. “Josh said and did those things to freak you out. I had sex with you both after you spent the better part of a week needling me about my sexual fantasies. I never asked for anything like that to happen. I would never have done it if I suspected for a second it would ruin our friendship. We’ve known each other far too long for that to happen.” Paul tried to interrupt, but she wasn’t about to stop now. “Whatever you have going on inside that head of yours, we’re going to discuss it. Now.”
When she finally met his eyes, Paul was smiling at her. “I think that’s the most berating I’ve heard from you in ten years.”
“Yeah, well, you and Josh created a monster, remember? I’ve decided that if I want something I need to fight for it. I’m not going to sit back and be the peacemaker all the time.”
“I’m glad.”
“What the hell happened? I thought we were…getting somewhere.”
Paul pushed his mug aside and got to his feet. He paced around the room, only to stop at the window. “Ever feel like you’re out of sync with the world?”
“Sometimes. Mostly when I’m talking to Paige.”
“I’ve been feeling a lot like that recently. For months, actually. I’ve been spending a lot of time reevaluating what I want out of life and what I need to do to get it.”
When he didn’t continue, Sadie got to her feet and joined him. She slipped her arm through his and rested her head against the side of his shoulder. “And?”
“And…Josh sat me down one day and we got to talking. After your name came up half a dozen times, he started asking about you.”
She turned, pressing her back to the window. “Me?”
Paul nodded. “Josh remembered me mentioning you over the years but knew we’d never dated. He put the idea in my head without saying much of anything. After that I found I’d lost interest in the club and the scene. It got to the point where I stopped chasing other women and waited for you to notice me.”
Sadie coughed until the laugh finally escaped her throat. “You were waiting for me to notice you? Are you insane?”
“I’m not that bad! I knew you only saw me as a friend and not as a potential bed partner. I didn’t know how to even start without risking what we’d had. Then Josh had the idea for the appreciation party and I knew that was my in.” When she started laughing again, his frown deepened. “What’s so funny?”
“You.” All this time they could have been together and they’d both been too blind and stupid to see what was in front of them. “I’ve been on the sidelines for years watching you parade an endless stream of women in front of me. When would I have even had a chance to squeeze myself in there?”
“It wasn’t like—”
“Yes, Paul, it was exactly like that.” Standing up straight, Sadie put one hand on her hip and poked Paul in the chest with the other. “You went to your club with all those women. Paige told me enough of what went on for me to know I would be one of the last people you would ever consider taking along for the ride. I was your girl-buddy. The one who you took along to the action movies when your girlfriend bailed. Not the girl who went dancing at Mavericks.”
Reaching out, Paul took her hand and brought it to his lips in a kiss. “But you did come with me. And you surpassed every dream I’ve ever had about you.”
“But then you ran away.”
“And now we’re back to the I’m an idiot part of the conversation.”
&nbs
p; “Why? After everything we’d done, all three of us, what was it about Josh and I that freaked you out?”
Paul huffed but didn’t pull back. “I figured you were more attracted to Josh. Believe me, you wouldn’t be the first woman to pass me over in favor of him.”
She couldn’t stop from snorting. “Not that I have anything bad to say about Josh, but why would you think that?”
“You’ve seen him. It’s hard to compete with a guy like that.”
“But the fact you thought I was going to pass you over…?”
“I…I finally realized that I want you, Sadie. I mean want you in a way that goes far beyond our friendship or sex. We were both single and I had you in the club, hot enough that I wanted to fuck you in the middle of the floor. Then I saw the look on your face as Josh whispered in your ear and I didn’t think I’d ever be able to make you that happy.”
Sadie stared at him for a long moment before slowly shaking her head. “You are an idiot. You thought I would give up a chance at being with you for someone I don’t know? And you claim to know me.”
Paul squeezed her hand. “That’s why I came back to the club an hour later. But you’d left and I figured, that’s it, I’ve lost my chance. When I got home I wanted to call you, but I didn’t know what to say. I probably wouldn’t have come over here today if Josh hadn’t kicked my ass.”
“Remind me to send him a thank-you card.” Men were dumb when it came to this stuff.
Sadie tried to move past Paul when he caught her around the waist and picked her up. She squealed in protest, but all he did was press her against the wall, pinning her with his body.
With the space between them now gone, neither one of them had any choice but to look each other in the eyes. Sadie licked her lips and smiled when Paul’s cock started to harden against her.
“You and Josh are pretty close.”
“He’s been my one constant over the years. Besides you.”
“This may sound ignorant, but you seem pretty comfortable with the whole…you know.” She pursed her lips without thinking.
“Kissing a guy?”
Sadie shrugged. “Yeah. According to Ian, most straight guys would rather gouge their eyes out than do that.”
Paul pressed his body a bit firmer to her, grinding with more purpose. “Yeah, well, I’m not most guys. And before you ask, Josh is the only man I’d even let myself get into a situation like that with, at the club.”
“Why?” It didn’t make sense from what she knew of Paul, and yet Sadie didn’t feel threatened, only confused.
With a shake of his head, he leaned in and brushed a kiss across her lips. “Josh and I went through some things back in high school. He literally saved my life back then. I was…going through some stuff. He stopped me from doing something stupid, even though at the time I barely knew him. I owe him big time for giving a damn when he didn’t have to.”
Sadie tried to keep her shock from showing. The image of the normally strong, confident Paul feeling lost and depressed enough to even consider doing something stupid was a punch. “And Josh?”
Paul smiled. “You’re perceptive.”
“Curse of the middle sibling. Josh?”
“He learned he was flexible when it came to his sexuality. His parents were unfortunately not as accepting of his lifestyle choices. We spent a lot of time discussing it in school. He tends to lean more to women than men in most cases, but there are a few people who he falls back on.”
“You being one of them.”
Paul nodded. “Like I said, we haven’t actually done anything, but that’s not the point. Not all of my girlfriends, including Rachel by the way, got our relationship. They assumed I was lying and that Josh and I were fucking. But it’s not like that for me, and he never pushes me to do something I’m not comfortable doing.”
“I see.”
“He’s an important part of my life. But so are you. Over the past few days I’ve come to realize I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t around.”
The excited flutter in her stomach was taking her breath away. “Now what?”
“Now is up to you.” Leaning in, he flicked her earlobe with his tongue. “I’ve screwed up and don’t deserve to be here. That means you get to call the shots.”
Sadie tightened her hold on his shoulders. “If you had any idea how badly I’ve wanted to be yours over the years, you would never have left that room.”
His breath hitched in her ear. It was odd to realize that Paul was as screwed up and besotted as she was. Letting her hands slide down his back until she could cup his ass, Sadie turned her face and licked the spot behind his ear.
“I want us,” she whispered, happy he couldn’t see her face. “I want to be with you and be in your bed. Shit, I don’t care about your relationship with Josh. From where I was lying, it was pretty frigging hot watching the two of you.”
Paul groaned and rolled his hips again. “I love you.”
They both froze before he pulled his head back to stare at her.
She didn’t think her voice was going to work until she managed to squeak out a soft, “What?”
He swallowed, his lips twitching into a smile for a second before he let out a little huff. “I love you. It took me six days to figure out that was what I was feeling.”
“Love me?”
“Why is that hard to believe? I haven’t exactly been subtle about my feelings recently.”
“I know, but…” She shook her head and giggled. “I never thought I’d actually hear the words from you.”
“If you’ll let me, I’d be more than happy to say it enough that you’ll never forget.”
Paul didn’t give her time to respond, capturing her mouth in a long, slow kiss. His hand found her breast and began to tease her nipple through her shirt, dragging a moan from her. Her pussy grew wet as a bolt of pleasure heated her from breast to clit. When Paul pushed his thigh between her legs, Sadie couldn’t help but rub herself on the firm muscle.
“Sadie, may I?” He muttered against her lips. “May I pull your pants off and fuck you on the couch?”
She couldn’t help but giggle. “Ian will freak.”
“I don’t care about your brother’s phobias right now. I want you.”
He jerked her T-shirt up and her bra cup down, exposing her nipple to the air for a second before sucking it into his mouth. Sadie grabbed his head and held him in place. Her body shook from the rolling sensations of pleasure and need threatening to pull her apart.
“Yes…you may.”
Without another word, Paul grasped her waist and marched her over to the couch. He threw her onto the pillows before pulling her sneakers off. Sadie tore at the button of her jeans, while Paul pulled free his own shirt and pants.
The mixing of their pants only served to push Sadie even closer to the edge. Now naked, Paul grabbed her by the hips and pulled her to the edge of the couch, until her ass hung over the cushions. Dropping to his knees, there was no doubt what he planned to do. Sadie lifted her legs, draping one on either of his shoulders, opening herself up to him.
“For six days all I could think about was this.” He wet his thumb with saliva before running it down the length of her clit. “I could still taste you, smell your come if I took a deep enough breath. I wanted to pound into you so hard I would see stars.”
Another pass of his thumb down her cunt had her crying out, bucking her hips to try and increase the pressure.
Paul made a tsking sound. “No, no, no. Bad Sadie.”
“Don’t be an asshole. You’re supposed to be making up with me.”
“I will. You need to be patient.” A grin on his face, Paul leaned in slow until he hovered a few inches above her pussy. “Did I tell you you’re the most amazing woman I know?”
“Nope.”
“You are.” He flicked his tongue, barely touching the tip of her hood. “I can’t believe you’re free to be mine.”
“Paul.” She moaned long and low as he latc
hed on to her clit, swirling his tongue around in a slow circle.
She tried to move beneath him, but he pressed her thighs farther apart and lifted her ass in the air. With no leverage, all Sadie could do was grab the cushions and squeeze her eyes shut.
After several fast licks with his tongue, Paul pushed two fingers into her pussy. He curled them up in a coaxing manner, much as he’d done the night at the club. At first, Sadie squirmed against the pressure he was putting on the upper wall of her cunt. It was too much, too intense for her to relax into what he was doing. But once he set an even rhythm, increasing the suction on her clit, her entire body started to quiver.
His fingers were wet—she could tell by the sounds he was making with her body. When he reached up with his free hand and squeezed her nipple, Sadie couldn’t hold back any longer. Her body bowed off the couch, her back arching high enough she could feel the angle in her bones. The motion thrust her pussy even further into Paul’s face and forced his fingers in deep.
Her orgasm started off slow, rapidly catching fire to inflame every cell in her body. Wave after wave of pleasure heated her from the inside out, until she was gasping, covered in sweat. Paul set her down on the couch once more, only to climb on top of her and shove a condom into her hand.
She giggled. “Always prepared?”
“Hoping for the best case. Please, Sade.”
Her fingers didn’t shake this time as she ripped the condom free from its casing and rolled the slick rubber down his shaft. “I’ve yet to suck you. We need to do that next time.”
He groaned and pushed her back the second she had the condom down to the base of his cock. “Next time.”
“Promise?” She bit his jaw, loving the feeling of his stubble against her tongue and the taste of his sweat.
“Yes.” He thrust into her, only to stop and hold himself still.
The muscles beneath her hands tensed and relaxed, telling Sadie how close to coming he was. There would be time for slow and sensual later. Right now all she wanted was for Paul to fuck her blind.
Double Shot Page 9