Faking Sweet

by J. C. Burke

  My gasp escaped.

  ‘I know.’ Jess’s head was doing enormous nods and I could feel my eyes sticking out on stalks. ‘Scott was terrified of her. She started to really freak him out.’

  ‘But she still didn’t get it that he didn’t like her?’ I asked.

  ‘When Calypso finally got it she became really nasty. Really evil. She’d go on MSN and spread all this crap about him. All lies. Total lies.’ Jess began to list them off each finger. ‘Scott’s a drug addict; Scott’s gay; Scott tried to rape her; Scott tried to rape me; Scott had some syndrome. They’re just the ones I can remember. Of course no one believed Calypso ’cause everyone knows what a great guy Scott is.’

  My mouth was wide open. The only movement I could manage was to shake my head.

  ‘There was one really, really bad time.’ Jess nudged up close to me. ‘One day, Calypso turned up at Scott’s place when he was the only one home. She kept ringing the house but Scott knew she was out there so he didn’t pick up the phone. He totally freaked out. Anyway Scott rang me from his mobile. Luckily I was at home, and we just live around the corner from each other. He was whispering, “She’s here, she’s here. She’s outside the door. She won’t go away.” Of course I knew straight away who he was talking about.’

  ‘So what did you do?’ I asked.

  ‘I know how to get in the back way, through the neighbour’s fence. So I bolted over there and snuck in the laundry door.’

  ‘Did Calypso see you?’

  ‘Not then,’ Jess took a deep breath and continued. ‘Calypso was bashing on the windows, shouting, “I know you’re in there, Scott.” We were so scared. She was going completely psycho. I wanted to ring the police but Scott wouldn’t let me. He said if we ignored her she’d eventually go away. So we lay on the floor in his parents’ bedroom. Like, for sure we thought that would be safe. I don’t know how, but Calypso somehow managed to lift herself up onto the window ledge, and before we knew it her face was pasted up against the glass. She spotted us lying on the floor. She went totally, I mean totally, crazy. Luckily Aunty Pat, Scott’s mum, arrived home. If she hadn’t I reckon Calypso would’ve smashed the window.’

  ‘So what did happen?’ I asked.

  ‘Aunty Pat called Calypso’s parents,’ Jess said. ‘Poor Scotty. Anyway, Calypso left him alone after that.’

  ‘Is that when she left Clemmie’s and went to Melbourne?’ I asked.

  ‘Nah. She was here for a couple more months.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘I tried to be nice to her afterwards ’cause I did feel sorry for her. She’s obviously,’ Jess made circles around the side of her head, ‘not a well puppy. But she really ended up being bad news.’

  All I could do was nod in agreement. Jess had just introduced me to a whole new Calypso. To think of all those arvos I’d spent in her room with the door closed!

  ‘Their family moves around a lot, too,’ Jess said.

  ‘Calypso’s been to fourteen schools since Kindy.’

  ‘Wow!’ Jess laughed. ‘No wonder she’s such a case. How many have you been to?’

  ‘Clemmie’s is my sixteenth,’ I mumbled.

  ‘Oh? Oh, I’m not saying you’re a case. You’re nothing like Calypso. I still can’t believe you were friends with her in Melbourne.’

  I nodded.

  ‘But you’re not friends anymore?’

  I shook my head.

  ‘So what happened?’ Jess asked. ‘I bet it’s not as good as my story.’

  I bet it is. I stared at my hands while a tingle of panic buzzed at my toes.

  ‘I guess,’ I started, ‘I guess I found out she was a bit … unbalanced too.’ I got up off the floor. ‘S’pose we should go downstairs.’

  ‘Hang on.’ Jess pulled my hand. ‘Sit back down. You haven’t told me what happened.’

  I leant against the wall. There were things I could say that wouldn’t really be lying. ‘Calypso,’ I started, ‘pretended that she won this holiday and was going to take me.’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘She went on and on about it. Said she had the brochures. All that stuff.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘It’s a bit embarrassing.’

  ‘No! Don’t be embarrassed. I’m your friend.’

  The saliva caught in my throat with Jess’s last word. ‘I got really excited about it. You know, went bikini shopping; that’s when I saw you. I thought about it all the time. I even made up a song about it. Anyway, the whole thing was a lie. A trick.’ I shrugged. ‘That’s my story. It doesn’t sound like much.’

  Jess was shaking her head and clicking her tongue. ‘I can’t believe that girl. She is so awful. You poor, poor thing.’

  Dear Me,

  I went over to see Holly’s new place yesterday. It’s the most gorgeous house ever. She is so lucky. I would die to live there but as Dad says, we’re too poor to afford a house like that. I felt like saying, well if you stayed in the family construction business like your brother did and not go off on your own then we would be able to afford that house … and holidays! Feeling pissed off, as Scott just told me he’s going overseas again this Christmas. Skiing in Canada. Not fair.

  Had a big big goss with Holly. We talked all about Calypso and what a psycho she is. I told her the whole Calypso and Scott story. I didn’t tell her the other stuff. I’m sure if Calypso had told Holly then she would’ve asked me coz we were being really honest with each other. She’s so nice.

  I didn’t say anything but her skin already looks better. If I charged for my skincare advice I would be a trillionaire by now.

  Well, Saskia’s really done it this time. She hooked up with Jase last night at her pathetic gathering. Now she reckons they’re going out. She’s even changed her MSN name to ‘Saskia and Jase together forever’ and added all these feelings. I hate Saskia. I need new friends.

  Good night

  Jess xxxxxxxx

  ‘Mum,’ I said, as I was dumping my cereal bowl into the sink, ‘when Calypso’s mum rang you last week, did she say if Calypso knew that she was ringing you?’

  I couldn’t figure out which was better: Calypso knowing or not knowing. It was just something I had to know.

  ‘Hmm.’ Mum’s arms were elbow-deep in washing-up suds. ‘I’m just trying to remember. Grab a tea towel, will you, Holly?’

  Mum passed me some cutlery, which I began to dry. Helping in the kitchen always had the miraculous effect of prompting my mother’s memory.

  ‘Mum, think!’

  ‘I am. I am.’ She passed me some more cutlery. ‘Mrs MacIntosh said she wasn’t going to tell Calypso that she’d rung me. Her words were: “My daughter is screaming and ranting enough already. We don’t need any more drama with her.” Yep. That’s what she said.’

  I folded the tea towel over the oven handle. ‘Thanks, Mum. You’re a gem.’

  ‘Holly,’ Mum called, as I was ducking out the kitchen door. ‘Come back and finish the drying up!’ Mum got the info right. As I walked across the quadrangle to English, I felt my mobile vibrate in my pocket then my stomach sky rocket out of my mouth. Well, almost. I caught it halfway, but for a second I did think I was going to lose my Weetbix.

  Just like old times, I obediently made a detour to the bathroom and locked myself in the last cubicle. I held the phone in my hands; my eyes shut and my breath held.

  ‘Please, please?’ I whispered, not really knowing what I was asking for.

  I cocked one eye open and saw:

  Sorry. Grounded. Did u do planting? Dreaming of

  Daydream. Cxxx

  What? I held the phone close to my face to check I had just read what I thought I had. What did Calypso take me for? A gullible half brain? How long did she think she could carry this on?

  Then I realised I didn’t feel any pain. Yeah, I was pissed off and sick of being treated like an idiot. But I didn’t hurt.

  Just tell her, I told myself as I strode out of the bathroom and back across the quadrangle. Tell C
alypso you know all about her and her seedy lies. No, too scary. If I said that, I might wake up in the middle of the night to find Calypso with a knife at my throat. It’s not really such a far out thought.

  The other option was to come clean with Jess and tell her about the revenge plan. That way Calypso would have nothing on me. Her blackmailing me was something I couldn’t rule out. I haggled with myself as I took the stairs to English. Still not worth the risk, I decided. If Jess knew what Calypso and I had been up to she’d never speak to me again. That was almost worse than waking up to find Calypso with a knife at my throat.

  Mrs Gideon was already in the classroom, writing up an assignment on the whiteboard. ‘Take a seat, Holly,’ she said. She was one of the many teachers who were born with eyes in the back of their head. I s’pose that’s why they became teachers in the first place.

  Jess waved me over to the desk next to hers. I slunk into the seat feeling half special and half horrible.

  ‘She’s in a bad mood,’ Jess whispered.

  ‘I am not in a bad mood, Jess,’ Gideon announced. ‘But I will be if we don’t get through Act Four. Let’s start at line 150.’

  Pages shuffled and turned.

  ‘Holly, will you please read the role of Friar Francis? Rosie, you can be Leonato …’

  As Gideon allocated the rest of the parts, I heard the wet sound of Jess licking her lips. Once I’d thought she was a hot debater licking her lips with glee at the part she would be given. Now I knew it was different. It must’ve been terror that made her tongue swing around her mouth like that.

  I hung my head. How did I become the devil’s helper?

  ‘Okay girls,’ Gideon instructed. ‘Hero will be sentenced to death if found guilty of Claudio’s accusations. Friar Francis believes in her innocence, and he will tell the others of his plan to make them feel sorry for what they’ve done …’

  Make them feel sorry for what they’ve done. Make them feel sorry for what they’ve done. Gideon’s words echoed in my head.

  What else could Mr Shakespeare tell me? He had tried to tell me a lot already. Unfortunately, I hadn’t listened. I felt sorry for what I’d done. Very sorry. But Calypso? She didn’t know I knew about her alter ego. The lying, scheming, stalking, crazy, delusional nut that really was Calypso MacIntosh. Suddenly I realised her not knowing about her mum’s phone call could be a good thing. Maybe there was a third option?

  ‘Let’s begin Act Four, Scene One, girls,’ said Gideon.

  BENEDICK: ‘Two of them have the very bent of honour,

  And if their wisdoms be misled in this

  The practice of it lives in John the bastard,

  Whose spirits toil in frame of villainies.’

  LEONATO: ‘I know not. If they speak but truth of her

  These hands shall tear her. If they wrong her honour

  The proudest of them shall well hear of it.

  Time hath not yet so dried this blood of mine …’

  Carefully I read the part of Friar Francis.

  ‘Pause awhile, and let my counsel sway you in this case.

  Your daughter here the princess left for dead,

  Let her awhile be secretly kept in,

  And publish it, that she is dead indeed …’

  Somewhere in these lines would be my answer.

  ‘Marry, this well carried, shall on her behalf,

  Change slander to remorse, that is some good.’

  The words prickled at my skin.

  ‘But not for that dream I on this strange course,

  But on this travail look for greater birth.

  She – dying, as it must be so maintained,

  Upon the instant that she was accused –,

  Shall be lamented, pitied and excused …’

  Something was stirring inside me.

  ‘Beautifully read,’ Mrs Gideon said, clapping. ‘Such passion, Holly. It was like you really were Friar Francis trying to think of a solution.’

  ‘That’s because I was,’ I whispered to myself.

  I was no Friar Francis that was for sure. However he had just shown me there was a way to undo the wrong doings of Calypso and Holly.

  ‘Girls,’ Gideon spoke while my fellow actors and I went back to our desks. ‘They are going to pretend Hero is dead. “Change slander to remorse.” What does Friar Francis mean by these words?’

  Jess shot up her hand. ‘He means making them sorry for all the bad things they said about Hero,’ she answered.

  Yes, yes, it was all making sense.

  ‘Then he says, “That is some good”. What is meant by that, Holly? You look like you know,’ said Gideon.

  ‘Oh yes,’ my voice trembled. ‘It means making her feel bad for all the lies she’s told …’

  Gideon raised her eyebrows at me. ‘Don’t you mean making them feel bad for the lies they’ve told?’

  ‘Oh, yeah. Yeah.’

  Oops.

  ‘I meant making them feel bad for the lies they’ve told is better than just letting them get away with it.’ I could feel my cheeks burning. ‘You know, like consequences for their actions are better than no consequences.’

  Maybe I was imagining it, but it felt like the whole class was staring at me like I was some sort of nutcase.

  ‘Let’s begin Scene Two,’ Gideon said.

  As the class turned the page I picked up my pen and wrote: JESS, I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING … IN PRIVATE.

  Jess frowned as she read my note. ‘Why don’t you come over this arvo?’ she whispered.

  I spent the rest of the class staring at my book, trying to figure out how I was going to activate option three: change Calypso’s “slander to remorse”. There were risks involved, but it was better than doing nothing.

  After school I stood against my locker: waiting and waiting and waiting. Saskia and Isabelle seemed reluctant to release Jess into my company. I couldn’t hear what they were spitting, but I could see Isabelle pointing and throwing her arms in the air. Saskia didn’t move from the hands-on-hips position, except when she turned a couple of times to glare in my direction.

  Finally Jess managed to convince them I wasn’t going to chop her up into little pieces. Slowly the ‘its’ began to walk away. But not before Saskia squeezed in one last over the shoulder glare at me.

  ‘Sorry,’ Jess shrugged. ‘I didn’t mean for that to happen.’

  ‘They don’t like you talking to me.’

  ‘No.’ Jess screwed up her face. ‘Sorry. They get all over-protective. It’s ’cause of stuff that happened with Calypso.’

  ‘Actually, Jess.’ I took a deep breath. ‘That’s what I wanted to talk to you about: Calypso.’

  Jess’s walk slowed.

  ‘I didn’t tell you everything on Saturday,’ I began.

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Um.’ My fingertips tapped at my lips. I was trying to work out how to start, plus I was terrified I was going to start blubbering. ‘There’s more.’

  ‘Like?’

  ‘Like stuff she told me about you.’

  This time Jess stopped. ‘Me?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  Jess hadn’t turned around. Her back was to me, and I was starting to panic as I couldn’t see her face.

  ‘Oh, they were all lies,’ I announced.

  ‘Oh.’ Jess looked over her shoulder and smiled. ‘That’s okay.’

  On the way home to Jess’s place I told her everything. Well, not everything. Some of it was too embarrassing, like the Science ledge and her dad supposedly ruining Sydney’s teeth.

  Neither did I tell Jess about Calypso’s revenge plan. In the end it had been a simple decision. If I told Jess, she’d never speak to me again. The truth was I liked Jess. I wanted to be her friend.

  Jess gasped and squealed as I related the stories Calypso had told me, especially the one about her and Scott.

  ‘I can not believe Calypso said I was going out with Scott. That’s disgusting! And she has that photo of her and Scott and me in her bedroo
m? I bet the only reason she kept it was ’cause she thought she looked like Rachel Bilson in it. Like hello, Rachel Bilson is a beautiful TV star. Calypso is not!’ Jess had not stopped shaking her head. ‘She is a total psycho, that girl. A total psycho. What’s her problem? How come she even told you that? She is weird.’

  ‘The other thing she said was that you and her …’ I had to handle the shoplifting issue very delicately in case a hint of Calypso’s plan slipped out in my words. ‘… were shoplifting …’

  ‘And I bet she told you that she got caught and I ran away.’ Jess finished the sentence for me. ‘Yeah, I am so sick of hearing that story! I wasn’t even with her that day. She told everyone in the whole school that I was. She went on and on and on about it. That’s why Saskia and Isabelle are so over-protective of me.’

  ‘Oh, I figured Calypso was lying about it.’ I didn’t want Jess thinking I’d believed it.

  Jess kicked open the gate to her house. ‘Apparently Calypso was caught shoplifting jeans or something. But because she’s a total psycho she made out I was with her. Calypso tried to destroy me. It was her way to get me back for the Scott thing, which is unfair ’cause I felt sorry for her. I was the only one being nice to her. The whole thing was the worst experience of my life.’

  ‘I know what you mean,’ I told her. ‘It’s been the worst experience of my life too.’

  ‘You mean Calypso pretending she was taking you to Daydream?’

  ‘Yeah.’ And the rest.

  I waited while Jess tried to unlock the door. ‘The stupid key,’ she growled and rattled the door handle. ‘Sorry, it’s just that talking about Calypso stresses me out.’

  ‘Well, um, I was thinking,’ I started. ‘Calypso should be made to feel really bad for all the lies she’s told about you.’

  ‘And the trick she played on you too!’

  ‘Oh, I’m okay.’ I stared at my shoes to hide the big gulping noise I was sure my throat was about to make. ‘Calypso should be taught a lesson, Jess. I mean, what does she think – that she can just destroy our lives?’