by Sarah Cole
“Baby, we’re going to have to head back soon. We have sound check in a couple hours.” I say into her ear, patting her behind. She presses herself against me, and I really wish we weren’t on the middle of a trail in a park. The past few weeks with her have been amazing, and I can’t seem to get my fill. She is my newest addiction.
“You’re so bad. You know we can’t do that here.” I say, wrapping my arms more tightly around her and crushing my mouth to hers, my fingers threading through her soft, wavy hair.
I don’t know how long we are standing there pressed together, but the sound of pounding feet and a barking dog have us looking up just in time to leap off the trail before we are run over by a couple of joggers and their giant retriever.
We laugh it off, linking our fingers together and head back down the trail the way we came.
“This concert is going to be so beautiful.” She says with a sigh.
“Yeah, we played here once last year, and it is seriously one of the coolest venues.” I say. The way the lights light up and play off the natural red rock of the amphitheater is unlike anything else.
“We came out here once for vacation when I was a kid. My parents were very in tune with their nature side. About a year before they died, we came to a Tom Petty concert here.” She says with a reminiscent look on her face.
“Sounds like your parents had pretty great taste in music.” I say.
“Oh definitely. I remember as a kid having these built ins in our living room that were just packed with vinyls. Everynight, my mom would have me pick one off the shelf and we’d have a dance party.”
“Did your Uncle hold that same love of music?” I honestly just want to dig deeper and find out everything there is to know about this woman, but I know almost immediately that her uncle is a no go subject based on the way her body immediately tenses and her face becomes wooden.
“No, but I honestly wouldn’t know because I didn’t spend a great deal of quality time with him.” she says, not really meeting my eyes.
“I’m sorry, Len. I didn’t mean to pry. I just was trying to make conversation and learn about you.”
“It’s fine. I just didn’t have the most ideal childhood...” she trails off, but doesn’t elaborate any more than that. So, I decide to leave it at that figuring she’ll talk if and when she wants to.
The drive back to the venue where our buses are parked is quiet; almost too quiet, but I’m too preoccupied dealing with my newly confessed feelings to be able to just make small talk. I sense Leni is perfectly content to be left to her own thoughts by the faraway look on her face. I like that she can just let it be, and isn’t incessantly chattering to fill the space. She and I seem to be similar creatures when it comes to dealing with our emotions. I know it will either end up being the best thing, or it could be our demise.
***
There’s only like thirty minutes until we go on stage, and I’m not even close to being ready. Yes, I know I’m a dude and I shouldn’t care, but when you go on stage in front of thousands of people with cameras in their hands, you have to look your best. I am rummaging through the cabinet, looking for more deodorant, when my hand runs across something that definitely wasn’t there yesterday.
I pull out the plastic shopping bag, and I’m certainly not expecting what is inside. Drugs. Lots and lots of drugs… cocaine, weed, pills…you name it… not that weed is a problem in this state anymore.
“What the fuck?” I ask myself, dropping the bag onto the engineered wood floor beside me. I haven’t touched anything more than a Tylenol or a men’s multivitamin since I woke up to Charlie screaming at me on my bathroom floor, and I never will again. I have lost count of the promises I’ve broken to myself and my loved ones these past couple of years, and I vowed to not let that happen again and I’ll stand by it.
But why in the heck is it on our bus? I know for a fact that none of the guys use. Maybe a little weed here and there, but honestly that has mostly stopped, as well. I have no idea what is going on, and I don’t exactly have the luxury of time to investigate right now. All I know is I need to get this toxic shit off my bus right now.
The door opens and Charlie and Leni step on.
“Jay, what the hell is that?” Charlie asks with wide eyes, and I realize I’m just standing here like a complete idiot holding like a half kilo of cocaine in one hand and a goodie bag of various narcotics in the other.
Leni’s face ranges from shock to concern then I see the steel curtain go down and I know I’m royally screwed. I know what she is probably thinking because I’ve been pretty candid with her about my past drug use, but I definitely don’t want her thinking that I lied to her or I’m using again.
“I have no idea!” I shout, thrusting it at Charlie, practically begging for her to take it from my hands.
“Well I have an idea, but I honestly have NO idea why it’s here. I was just looking for deodorant, and I found it. It’s not mine!”
Charlie looks me square in the eyes, searching. I know she’s looking at my pupils and she’s not even trying to hide it.
“Jay, look at me.” she demands, and I do as I’m told.
“Tell me if we have a problem that we need to work out. Tell me the truth because so help me if you don’t, I am out that door and I’m going home.”
I drop the bags onto the low black leather couch beside the door, and grab my best friend by the shoulders.
“Charlie, I haven’t touched anything since that night. I swear to you on Fallon’s life. You know I wouldn’t just say that.” I plead.
She steadily holds my gaze for a minute before she nods, and I know she believes me much to my relief.
“What are we going to do with all this? This is… a lot.” I run my hands through my hair.
Charlie paces, glaring at the sack of drugs on the couch like it’s personally insulting her.
“Hell if I know!” She explodes, before doing a one-eighty and getting a curious look in her eye. “Do you think it’s real?” she asks reaching for the white powder and I swat her hand away. Lord only knows where it has been or what it has in it and she’s carrying my next niece or nephew in that oven of hers. She shoots me a dirty look.
“It’s real.” Leni says, her tone flat. I had almost forgotten she was standing there.
I give her a questioning look, but she won’t look at me. Not really.
“Well, ok then…I have to get moving. The guys are waiting on me. What are we going to do with this? We can’t exactly call the police about a whole bunch of narcotics we can’t explain. Like, ‘Oh, yes. Hello this is Jay Collins. I have a bag of illicit drugs I need to dispose of. Do you have any good recommendations?’” I mock, making my voice nasally.
“But really, what are we going to do? Especially after all the shit that has happened the past several weeks, and we can’t exactly just run a pharmacy from the back of the bus!”
“I don’t know, Jay.” Charlie says, clearly irritated. Her hands rub, her emerging baby bump.
“It’s not exactly like I have a ton of experience disposing of illegal substances.” She cries as she winces and holds her belly.
“Jeeze, Charlie sit down. Are you ok?”
“I’m fine. Just a growing pain, I’m sure.”
“Do you need me to call Andrew?” I ask, really starting to worry.
“No, I’m fine. Just let me sit here next to the drugs and think a minute.” She says sarcastically as she eases herself down onto the couch.
“I know someone that will take it. No questions asked, and he owes me a favor.” Leni says.
Charlie and I both turn our heads to look at her at the same time. Well this just got more interesting.
Chapter 12
Leni:
Charlie and Jay had to get to the stage for set up and prep, so now I’m left here trying to give myself a pep talk. At first I wasn’t one hundred percent certain on whether or not Jay is telling the truth, but the more time I had to process and let the shock of the s
ituation wear off, I realized I trust him. Another thing I realize is that this stuff needs to get gone, and fast. Not only would it affect the band, but my job if anyone were to find out. Something like this could kill the entire tour, so I pick up my phone and do something I never thought I’d do again. I call my Uncle.
The phone rings just a couple times, before the familiar gravel of my uncle’s voice answers on the other end.
“Lance Jennings.”
“Uncle Lance, it’s Leni.”
“Ah, Lennon. How are you? How’s that loser you married?”
Of course, he’d skip the pleasantries and go straight for the Achilles.
“Uhm, Sam and I have been divorced for over a year. I’m actually calling because I need your help.” I say, hating that I need his help.
“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised to hear that didn’t work out. Smartest thing you’ve done. What do you need?” he asks, and I can hear the clicking of his keyboard in the background.
“Well, I don’t exactly want to say the words over the phone, but…”
“Christ! Would you just spit it out? You’re still a pain in my ass.” He snaps.
And just like that I’m twelve years old again, feeling like the dirt on his shoe rather than his own flesh and blood. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and for the briefest of moments I see that broken girl again before I bury her under my resolve and find my voice.
“I have product for you, and I need it gone.” I say, all business.
“What do you have?” his tone has changed to one of respect and interest in the blink of an eye, just as I knew it would. Money, drugs, politics, and women were the only thing that ever garnered any sort of attention from the Lance Jennings.
“Looks to be about half kilo of coke, bricked. A couple ounces of weed, a complete pharmacy of pills…” I trail off, sorting through the bag with a piece of tissue to see what the variety is. “Oxy, Ecstasy, Demmies, Vicodin, a couple others I don’t recognize.”
“Well I never thought I’d see the day…” he says, almost as if it was an afterthought. “How much are you asking?”
“I’m not asking anything other than for it to be gone within an hour with no possible trace back to me.”
“Interesting…” he says. He pauses before saying, “Where you at, kid?”
“Denver area. Red Rocks. Can you help me out?”
“Yes. You will see a blocked number come through on this line in five minutes. Answer it and all the details of the pickup will be given to you.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it.” I say.
I’m getting ready to end the call when he says, “Lennon?”
“Yes?” I respond.
“You better not fuck me over. It will be the last thing you do.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Senator Jennings.” I say, hitting the end call button.
***
Efficiency should be Lance Jennings’s middle name. In under an hour, his lackeys met me just down the road in the park and picked up the large duffel bag I snuck from the parking lot. I checked that bus top to bottom before I left, and found two more similar shopping bags stashed away. One under the bed in the back bedroom, and one in the cubby underneath the driver’s chair. I just wanted to be sure absolutely everything was gone before I left. The guy looked skeptical at the larger than anticipated haul, but even still, he tried to give me fifty grand, per my uncle’s request. Of course, I refused. No way did I want that dirty money on my hands. I’m finished being my Uncle’s charity case.
I walk as slowly as possible to the performance area. Partly because I know Gordon is probably about ready to give my ass the boot since he has been trying to get ahold of me for a couple hours relentlessly, and I have yet to come up with a valid excuse for ignoring him. And partly because I’m not sure I’m ready to face Jay yet and talk about his issues or explain my own. I can hear the heavy sounds of the music echoing off the natural landscape, and the lights reflecting off the red rock send me back fifteen years to a time when I could have never imagined the life I’d actually lead.
I climb the steps, flashing my employee badge to Johnny, the security guy and he greets me with a smile, waving me on. Just as my feet hit the top step, Gordon appears.
“Leni, my goodness! What are you doing here?! I’ve been so worried! You need to go lay down.” He gushes, feeling my forehead.
I’m so confused, “I’m sorry Gordon. I …”
“No, don’t worry. Charlie told me you were stuck in the bathroom getting sick. You shouldn’t be here.”
“Oh, um, I think I just ate something bad at lunch.” I fib, so thankful Charlie covered for me. She’s seriously turning out to be one of the best girlfriends I’ve ever had.
“Oh well I have everything covered for tonight here, so if you want to go lay back down I’ve got it. Just send me a message in the morning if you’re still feeling bad and we can do our review over the phone or something later in the day. You really aren’t looking well, hun.” He says, patting my shoulder in a fatherly sort of way.
I know he’s probably telling the truth, because to be honest, I don’t feel so hot either. My head is pounding, my stomach is turning, and the past couple of hours make me feel like I’ve aged a hundred years.
“You know, I think you’re right. I’m just going to go lay back down. Can you let Charlie or Jay know that if they need anything they can just text me or come knock on the door?”
“Sure thing kiddo, feel better.”
“Thanks G.”
I turn around and head back down the dusty, rock steps and back through the gate towards where all of the buses are parked for the night. All I want to do is bury myself in bed and pretend like today didn’t happen. We can just wait and talk everything over in the morning. Hopefully putting some distance between myself and this day will help me see things a little more clearly, without past emotions and demons haunting me. As I change into my pajamas, strip my face of makeup, and setting into my bed, I sigh thinking about our hike earlier and everything that was confessed. I have no idea where we go from here, but I do know that everything looks better when it’s looked at with a fresh perspective. I plug in my phone and headphones and let the music calm my mind.
Jay:
Throughout the entire show I have been nearly sick to my stomach with worry. On stage is usually the only place where I’m truly happy and carefree these days, but tonight I just can’t get my head or my heart into it. Both are stuck with Leni.
What the hell did she mean when she said, ‘I know someone that will take it.’? The kinds of people that would take a stash like that are not the good kind of people. They’re certainly not the kind of people that I want around someone I love, and I do. I really, truly love her. I didn’t want to, but I don’t think I had a choice in the matter. It just happened without me realizing it, and now I remember why I keep new relationships at a distance… this. Worry. It settles like a lead weight in the pit of your stomach, and eats its way through your mind, infecting your every thought with worst case scenarios.
I find myself constantly searching the side of the stage where Leni usually stands with Charlie, but she has yet to appear, and it’s killing me. Thankfully there are only two more songs in the final set, and then I can go and figure out where she is and where the hell the boat load of narcotics came from. Charlie and I questioned the guys, but as I thought, they were just as clueless as I am.
Aaron, Brenden and I strum the last chords of the song, and Chase tosses his drumsticks out into the crowd.
“Thank you Colorado! We love you!” I shout into the mic as I head for the side of the stage where Charlie is standing with her phone and clipboard in hand, texting as the screen lights up her face.
“Have you heard from Leni?” I ask, grabbing her arm and pulling out my in-ear monitor, letting it hang.
“No, I was just looking at some pictures Andrew sent me of Fallon. My goodness this week is going to go by too slow. See?” she turns her
phone around to show me pictures of Fallon with Andrew’s sister Cami, and Laney, Charlie’s best friend. They have her decked out in full princess gear, topped with a huge sparkly tiara.
“Aww, she’s growing too fast Thump, but we really need-”
“Tell me about it.” she says, cutting me off, tears filling her eyes. “Sorry… Sorry… it’s just the hormones.” She sniffles, and I pull her into a hug.
“You’re so sweaty and gross; you can let go now.” she says, shoving me off and I laugh.
I spot Gordon, Leni’s boss out of the corner of my eye and wave to get his attention.
“I told him Leni was puking.” Charlie whispers in my ear before he approaches.
I nod, “Hey Gordon. Has Leni been back up here yet?”
“Yeah, she was up here about twenty to thirty minutes ago, but she looked pretty drained so I sent her back to lay down. Do you need her for something? She told me to tell you guys to text or just knock on her door.” He says.
“No, I was just curious about how she was feeling. Thank you.”
“No worries. Hey, good show kid. You guys are killing it. Now if only we could keep the guys from BV sober for five minutes, we’d have our ducks in a row.” He laughs.
I feel my brows pinch together, as things start clicking together for me. “Sober?”
“You name it, they take it, kid. That is part of the reason we had to bump them from headlining. If you haven’t noticed, half the time they can’t even remember their set lists.” He shrugs, before clapping me on the shoulder. “You guys are good, but that is the quickest way to lose everything. Keep your noses clean.” He finishes, tipping his head at me and walks away.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Charlie asks sounding like a clichéd movie line. Her cute freckled nose is scrunched with concern as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth.