“But he’s gone, right?” Zander and Grayce had taken him away so fast, he didn’t see what happened. They wouldn’t tell him afterward either.
“Yes, he’s gone. He’ll never hurt you or anyone ever again.”
He pushed his plate away and leaned his chin on the table. “But he was bad, so if I killed him, it would’ve been okay, right?”
“You’re right. He was a very bad man. The worst kind. But no, it’s not okay to kill people.”
He took a deep breath. “Chelsea, I wanted to kill him. I was so mad that he hurt Grayce.” Did that make him bad? He sure hoped not.
“I know, sweetie.” She pulled him toward her and kissed his cheek. He hated lip germs. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so he didn’t wipe his face. “And there is nothing wrong with you feeling that way.”
“I’m strong enough, I could’ve killed him.”
“Yes, but being strong doesn’t make it okay to hurt people, even when you think it’s for the right reason. If you do, you’ll be just like him.”
“I don’t want to be like him. The bad guys never win. I want to be the superhero.”
“You will be, Stephen. The best superhero ever.” She smiled her big happy smile. He loved it almost as much as her cookies. Maybe Chelsea would help him make a cape. Not red though. It would have to be blue or silver to match his lightning.
“What’s for lunch?” Marcus kissed Chelsea on the head, grabbed the chair next to Stephen and started to fill his plate. “Why aren’t you eating?”
“Just not hungry.” He looked at Marcus and shrugged.
“Too bad. I was hoping for some racing action after lunch. You can’t beat me with an empty stomach. I bought two new controllers. I’ll be gone for a few weeks. This is my last chance to beat your high score.”
Stephen picked up his fork and started in on the fruit. No way was he going to let Marcus beat his high score. No way. “Wait a minute. Gone? Where are you going?”
“I’m taking a vacation.” Marcus wiggled his eyebrows and then winked.
Oh yeah. He had some stupid crush on a girl. Yuck.
“Did you find out where she went?” Chelsea asked.
“Yeah. Go figure. Her first vacation in years. Great timing, huh? She’s heading to a private island off the coast of Guyana. I swear. The gods are punishing me.”
Chelsea giggled. “So you’re going to follow her.”
“Well, I’m certainly not waiting two more weeks to meet her.”
Stephen finished the fruit and picked up his sandwich. Marcus was acting goofy about this woman, all soft and sweet. So not Marcus. It was weird.
Chelsea sighed and rolled her eyes. “Poor girl. She’ll never know what hit her.”
Nikolas burst through the room. “You’re not going to believe this.” He rushed to Chelsea’s side. Oh no, Stephen thought. They’re going to kiss again. He squeezed his eyes shut.
“What darling?” Chelsea pushed her chair back.
Stephen waited for the yucky kissing sound. It didn’t happen so he peeked out of one eye first.
Nikolas slapped a picture down on the table. “We found another one. She’s six. Her mom brought her in, thought she had a broken arm. It was a fluke that I even saw her. Just happened to be walking by. I knew the moment I looked into her eyes, she’s one of us.” His voice got higher and his eyes looked funny. Stephen perched himself on his knees to get a look. Hey, he knew that girl.
He grabbed the picture. “That’s my friend.”
“What?” The grown-ups said at the same time.
The girl in the picture looked like she was smiling just for Stephen and her eyes seemed a brighter green that what he’d noticed in his dreams. Her curly red hair filled up most of the photo. The color made him smile.
He handed the picture back to Nikolas. “She’s my friend from my dreams.”
“What a looker.” Marcus whistled and patted Stephen on the back. “I can see why you’d dream about her.”
Chelsea gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.
Nikolas looked like his head was going to explode.
Things sure were getting strange.
* * * *
Zander was angry. But more than that, his heart fucking hurt. He’d spent his whole life searching for her and she didn’t want him. Well, he didn’t give a shit if she wanted him or not.
This was not how their story would end.
“Why, Grayce?” Back turned to her, he forced the emotion down, choked on it. If she saw the fury on his face, she’d shut down. He needed her to explain. Needed to understand.
Voice meek, she whispered, “I can’t love you.”
“I don’t care.” He carried enough love for both of them. His Grayce. God, couldn’t she see how amazing she was? What could he do to help her realize her worth?
“I want you to be happy. Loved. It’s what you deserve.” She paused, and drew a deep breath. “I can’t have children. He made sure of that.” Grayce cringed. “I’ll never be able to give you a family.”
Zander unsuccessfully fought back a shiver. Fuck. What he wouldn’t give to pull Tyr back from the depths of hell and kill him all over again with torturous, painful precision.
No children. He’d never even thought about having kids. His whole adult life had only been about Grayce. Finding, saving and loving Grayce.
“I don’t want children.” He glanced over his shoulder, feet frozen in place. Fighting back the images of what Tyr had done to make her barren, it took several deep breaths before he continued. “Why can’t you see I only want you?”
Unable to bear the distance between them any longer, he crossed the room and swept her into his arms. “Only you.”
Fresh from her shower, hair fell in wet tendrils over her shoulders, dampening her thin cotton shirt. As he pulled her close, her nipples hardened against his bare skin. “I killed a man today.”
“No. That thing you killed was a monster, a demon.” Zander had wanted to be the one to end the life of the psychopath who tortured his love. “He lost his humanity a long time ago. You saved countless lives today.”
“I wasn’t thinking of anyone other than myself. I wanted him to suffer.” She squeezed his middle. “I’m damaged Zander. Mentally as much as physically. You got the raw end of the deal in this match-up. You deserve so much better.” Her wet cheek pressed against him. Tears cascaded down his torso.
“Dammit Grayce. Don’t say things like that. I never want to hear those words from you again.” He sat her in the chair, knelt between her thighs and clenched her wet face in his hands. “You’re beautiful and amazing and I love you. I love you so much it hurts.” Her tears fell faster than his thumbs could wipe them away. “Stephen loves you too. We love your bad temper. We love your foul mouth.”
“You deserve to be with a woman who can love you wholly. Not just physically.” Chin raised, she met his gaze. The wisdom and experience of a thousand lives shimmied behind her tears. “What if I’m never able to? That can’t possibly be good enough for you.”
“Grayce, let me ask you something.”
She nodded, wiping moisture from her lashes.
“If we hadn’t met, if I was unable to find you, do you think you would have ever given any man a chance?”
Confused, she shook her head. “Hell no. No fucking way.”
Relief coursed through his veins. “I often thought of our withdrawals as a curse. You know, a cruel joke.”
A breeze rolled through the broken window carrying the scent of fall into the room.
“Think about it. If we didn’t have the withdrawals, if we didn’t physically need to be near each other, you would have no reason to stay, right?” He didn’t wait for her response. “But because of them, you and I need to be close. We don’t have the option of leaving or giving up. We have to make this work.”
An exasperated sigh escaped her lips. He held up a finger to stop her from speaking.
“Wait. Before you get mad, hear me out.�
�� He sat next to her in the chair. “You can’t disappear into your dark place, right? You can’t run away. You have to stay here with me. Don’t you see? This is a good thing, not because it’s taking your free will away, but because in time, you’ll see that you can love and be loved. You will learn to love and trust again, because leaving is no longer an option.”
* * * *
Grayce remained silent as she pondered his words. She hadn’t thought of it that way. Maybe he was on to something.
There was no fucking way she would’ve let another man get near her. Because of the bond between them, Zander could never physically hurt her. His soul was too good to hurt her emotionally. So there was no reason to be afraid.
Could she love him eventually? Maybe she already did and just couldn’t recognize it. Would she be able to love her brother? He’d already burrowed his own little groove into her heart. One thing she knew for sure, being alone sucked. Although it had kept her physically safe all these years, it left a vast hole in her spirit. One that could only be filled by her new family.
“Zander. Where’s the bed?” She looked around the room, then toward the green valley through the missing window. The serene view steadied her spinning thoughts.
“You’re not the only one with anger issues.” He rubbed his fingers up the length of her arm and rested them in her hair. “I was pissed and scared. I didn’t know where you were.”
Worms danced the jitterbug in her stomach as he played with a curl. “Grayce. Please don’t leave me again. It would kill me. Please tell me you’ll at least try. Give us a chance.”
He may as well have punched a hole in her chest and squeezed her heart with his bare hands. He didn’t want to be alone. He was abandoned as a teen. She almost abandoned him again.
For some crazy reason, his need for her was more than physical. Maybe someday she’d understand why. Maybe not. In that moment, what she knew to be true, was in this man’s arms, she felt safe and right and free.
Oh my God. She was free. No more running, no more hiding.
He knew everything about her twisted past, fucked up present and the instability the future held. Despite it all, he still wanted to be with her.
Craving the shelter of his arms and the rhythm of his blood flow, she climbed into his lap, straddled his marble hard thighs and nestled her hips against his groin. With hands splayed across his chest, she tried to speak the words he deserved to hear. The three words she wanted to say, but her throat shriveled and closed tight.
“You love me.” He pressed a kiss to her nose.
“I can’t love.” She wanted to. She really did.
“You love me.” A knowing smile sat smug and sure between deep dimples.
“Stop saying that.”
His hands were hot brands against her butt. “Remember when you asked about my eyes. Why they turn purple?”
“Yes. You never answered me.”
“They only do that when we’ve surrendered ourselves completely to the other. When mind, body and soul we’ve given ourselves to our mate.” He pulled her against his growing arousal.
“I don’t understand.”
“Love, Grayce. That’s love.”
“Zander.” She didn’t want to argue anymore. “I have no doubt that you feel that way. You’ve proved it time and time again.”
“Shut up. Let me finish.” He groaned and moved her to the floor, trapped her in a cage of flesh and bone.
“Grayce. You silly, stubborn, hot tempered little fool.” He ripped her shirt down the middle. “You love me.” He sucked a nipple between his teeth.
“Zander, please—” He silenced her with warm, moist lips. She writhed with lustful need beneath him and worked to free his erection from the evil denim holding it prisoner.
“Your eyes, Grayce. Your eyes turned purple. Right before you blew the shower door to the moon.”
He swallowed her gasp with another kiss. “Deny it all you want, but you love me.”
Krissy Daniels
Years ago, while I was shopping, a group of firefighters walked into the store. One man stood head and shoulders above the rest. His blond hair, blue eyes and superhero stature stole my breath. The world slowed. My heart stopped. The entire store went silent, including my screaming children. Every head turned in his direction. That man was the sole inspiration for my first alpha male. While writing Zander’s character, I searched relentlessly for a suitable likeness to share with my readers. I’m afraid I’ve had zero success. We all have a different standard of beauty. The wonderful thing about reading is, no matter how detailed the author’s description, our own imaginations paint the portrait of each character we fall in love with.
Grayce is a culmination of women I’ve known. Some survivors, some broken spirits, all still fighting to find inner peace and a sense of worth. I let Grayce have revenge for all of us who aren’t able to find closure, no matter the situation. I hope you enjoyed her journey as much as I did.
Lyrical Press books are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp. 119 West 40th Street New York, NY 10018
Copyright © 2014 Krissy Daniels
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
Lyrical Press and the L logo are trademarks of Kensington Publishing Corp.
First Electronic Edition: April 2014
ISBN-13: 9781616505363
Aflame (Apotheosis) Page 23