by Becky Cairns
‘A year and bit later William walked into my life and I saw my wish coming true. Six months later he told me he loved me and I knew I couldn’t live without him. He was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. He was perfect.
‘Seven months after, he proposed as we were walking back from my parent’s house, completely spontaneous. My heart began to sing and I finally saw the future I dreamed of.
‘He was literally the man of my dreams - gorgeous, wealthy and absolutely adorable. All my friends loved him; family adored him, Thomas especially. They hit it off straight away, as thick as thieves in the end. William was too good to be true.
‘Then my neatly laid out life came screeching to a halt with the unexpected death of my brother. It was screwed up, spat on and thrown back in my face. A piece of my heart was wrenched out and chucked away that day. I felt myself close up. I was numb for days, weeks even. If it weren’t for William I don’t know how I would have got through it. Unfortunately our wedding was put on hold for a while.
‘But a few months down the line I decided life is too short to waste away. Thomas wouldn’t have wanted us all to mope around, filling our days with endless nothing. He was always so full of life.
‘So the wedding preparations carried on in earnest and a couple of months later the big day was fast approaching, things started to return to normal, but before I could walk down that aisle a stranger strolls into my life disrupting it once more.
‘The things I thought I wanted don’t feature. I don’t see any happy family path ahead. I see nothing. I have become nothing. I don’t know my purpose anymore. I’m lost. I’ve become a different person with different wants. What am I to do?’
I gaze over to Gareth, eyes settling on his through the darkness.
‘What am I to do?’ I whisper.
‘What is it that you want?’
After a moment’s hesitation I reply, ‘Closure. I need to know how my brother died.’
He stares, eyes twitching and then nods his approval.
‘Good.’ Stretching his limbs he grabs his coat, effortlessly swinging it about his shoulders before making his way to the front door, holding it wide open. ‘It’s time to show you my world, Alex.’
Chapter Nineteen
‘I can’t believe I’m wearing this!’ I say after wolfing down another mouthful of chips. ‘Couldn’t a simple knee length, black dress do?’
‘We’re not on our way to a cocktail party, Alex. You need to fit in.’
Gone are his baggy polo top and jogging bottoms and in their place is fine black stockings, black leather boots going all the way up to my knees and a fiery red, clingy dress that’s barely covering my modesty. My breasts are on the verge of spilling out while my bottom is well defined with the dress ending just below the crease of my bum cheeks.
I’ve become a prostitute, a “classy prostitute” according to Gareth. Thank God for the warm night air.
‘How did you manage to get hold of such clothes anyway?’ I ask as I finish off my meal consisting of half a pound cheeseburger and a large portion of chips, washing it down with a medium size Fanta.
‘I was owed a favour.’ Gareth chucks our rubbish into the passing bin.
‘I bet.’
His head snaps back and he stares at me without expression.
‘It’s not what you think. Believe it or not, it’s not all about sex for those women. There’s more to them than meets the eye.’
‘I don’t know what you were looking at, but from where I was standing there was little left to the imagination.’
‘You would say that wouldn’t you.’
‘And what’s that supposed to mean?’
Gareth sighs before looking at me and I see his eyes soften.
‘Look. You’ve led a sheltered life, been brought up in a loving family and are used to living a luxurious lifestyle.’
‘I wouldn’t call an office job with adequate pay and living in a flat luxurious…’
‘But you do have security and shelter which is more than these girls have and that’s my point. Half the time they don’t know when their next meal is going to be. And another thing, majority of them are simply that, girls - girls that had to grow up fast in a dangerous world. What’s the worst thing that’s happened to you? The death of your brother, big deal…’
‘Don’t bring him into this,’ I choke with emotion. The cold hearted bastard!
‘…Whereas they have no family left and if they do they’ve been disowned by them. At least you have the support of those you love. Your family. Your friends. Who did they have? Where were their parents, their friends in their time of need? To help guide them, comfort them, to let them know everything was going to be alright. Nowhere. They were left to fight on their own and do you know why? Because those they loved turned their backs on them. Couldn’t care whether they lived or died.’
Hold on, is he still talking about those girls or himself?
‘That’s what families do Alex. That’s what happens when you open your heart. You are left defenceless and sooner or later it will all come crashing down and you’ll be left on your own. So you pick yourself up and try to get through one day at a time. It’s all you can do.’
‘But, but that’s their choice. Surely they can find another way of making money,’ I add meekly.
‘Not everyone has a choice. Not everyone can afford to. It’s the harsh truth but there it is so deal with it. Now come on, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.’
As Gareth leads me further into the shitty parts of London a chill rolls over my back and I become fidgety. I reach out a hand to interlace with his. Warmth consumes me and a different sensation takes hold. Security.
I take this time to study his profile. The way his jaw thrusts out, clenched in a determined posture. I’d love nothing more than to run my delicate fingers over his stubble chin, slowly coaxing him to relax his muscles and to enjoy the massage.
The way his glorious, silk hair flaps with each step and ruffles in the breeze like it’s dancing to its own music. My fingers itch to touch, to glide through the strands falling across his eyes in that charming, boyish way which never fails to get my heart quivering.
Then there are his eyes. So expressive, even at times when they appear unfeeling and cold. When he looks at me everything stops. I see nothing but him. He captivates me and I’m at loss to stop it. When he’s angry or consumed by passion they sparkle and occasionally widen. When sadness takes hold they tend to droop and lose all luminosity. It scares me that I have become so familiar with these traits already.
I shouldn’t be that familiar with my kidnapper, should I?
Dragging my mind away from my thoughts I take notice of our surroundings.
We have strolled further into the back streets where streetlights flicker casting an eerie glow and the shadows stalk your every move. The path is littered with cracks and rubbish. The smell emanating from the drains is suffocating. The stench hits the back of my throat causing me to gag. Everywhere I look is a brick wall sprayed with a dark red symbol staking claim to a gang marking their territory. Distant voices fill the atmosphere, drifting their way to my ears sending a chill down my spine.
Then through the shadows steps a man of average height, skinny and has a slight limp accompanying his walk. I unconsciously squeeze Gareth’s hand, fractionally digging my nails into his skin as dread eats away at my insides. He returns the gesture and I smile unnoticed.
‘Took your time, G,’ he croaks, but the friendly attitude is swiftly swept to the side as he takes note of me. ‘You said nothing about company. What happened to all this being hush hush? Who is she, what is she doing here…?’
‘Oh calm down Doug and grow some will you. No need to act all jittery around Scarlet here.’ Scarlet? What? Now what’s he up to? ‘She’s my new investment.’ He throws an arm around my shoulders and pulls me against his side. Investment my arse! ‘Taking her out for a spin if you get my drift. You sh
ould know what I mean; you’re no stranger to such things, Doug.’
The man’s face morphs into a leer and his body language becomes suggestive. His snake eyes glide up and down my body lingering at the junction where my legs disappear underneath the dress. The same thing happens as he takes in my heaving bosoms.
‘If you ever find she’s not satisfactory to your requirements, I’m willing to give her a go myself,’ he smirks. ‘You know where to find me if things don’t work out.’
Gareth tenses and his teeth clench.
‘I’m sure that won’t be necessary, Doug. So far she’s very satisfactory. In fact, she’s looking to be a keeper.’
‘Shame,’ Doug sneers and ogles me once more, eyes crawling over me like dirty, skeleton hands, causing me to quiver in repulsion and I unconsciously take a step closer to Gareth so I am once again flushed against his side. ‘I was quite looking forward to shoving…’
‘That’s quite enough Dougie,’ Gareth snaps, startling me. ‘I haven’t come here so you could lust over my woman.’ My woman? God help me but a thrill runs through me at his statement and my independent woman flies out the window. ‘We are here to do business, nothing more, nothing less.’
After another once over, Doug turns his attention to Gareth.
‘So,’ Gareth begins. ‘What have you heard?’
‘He’s upping the game…and the price.’
‘What’s he up to now?’
‘G, you know the score. I’m saying nothing more unless I get payment. I don’t go sneaking around, risking my life for my own amusement. I’ve got a kid to take care of.’
‘Fine,’ he says and grabs a wodge of notes from his wallet, briefly taking his arm away from my shoulder and this action unexpectedly triggers a sense of disappointment at the loss.
He shoves the money into Doug’s hand then replaces his arm. Heat spreads across my back and I feel at home again. Safe and wanted. His woman indeed.
‘As I was saying, he’s upped the ante. He’s into drugs, any drugs. You name it he’ll get it. But he’s getting antsy. Something’s unsettled him. He’s no longer the cool, calm, collective self. I found Old Harry lying in the gutters two days ago. He beat him black and blue! Old Harry’s lucky to be alive! He wasn’t the fittest bloke to begin with.’
‘Hmm,’ Gareth frowns and his lips tighten. ‘That is unusual. He’s not the aggressive type.’ His eyes flicker towards me then return to Doug.
Fear.
Worry.
Apprehension.
Is that what I caught as he gazed my way? Why would he be feeling those things? What’s the cause behind it? Why is it directed at me? Is it directed and me? Who are they talking about? Why do I need to be here? What’s going on?
So many questions with no answers and the more I see the less I seem to understand.
‘Anything to add?’
‘No, that’s all I know, sorry G. I’ll only go so far. Got my kid to think about.’
‘That’s alright. Thanks for the info. Here you go,’ and Gareth shoves a couple of extra twenties into his hand. ‘See you around.’
And with a flick of his coat he is marching off in the other direction. Coming out of my daze I turn to follow.
‘Oh, there is just one more thing. Apparently he’s after you, just thought you’d like to know!’ Doug adds.
Not a second later I see a black blur fly past me.
‘What do you mean he’s after me?’
‘Just what I said. He wants to, let me get this right: “hunt you down like the dog you are,” and that’s a direct quote by the way. I had a little run in with him yesterday.’
‘Where did you see him?’
‘Can’t quite remember…’
Suddenly Gareth grabs him by the shirt collar and rams him up against the wall. ‘Quit messing me around and tell me where you saw him.’
‘Okay, okay, I’ll tell ya, just put me down will you, jees.’
Ever so slowly Dougie lowers to the floor, however Gareth remains steadfast and does not move back, crowding the weedy man.
‘I was having a quiet drink down at The Crossbow pub round the corner from here when he hassled me.’
‘What did he say?’
‘Nothing much really, just wanted to know if I’ve seen you around or spotted a gorgeous brunette woman.’
‘What did you tell him?’
‘The truth of course! This is the first time I’ve heard from you in months and as for his classy brunette…It’s not likely she’ll come sniffing around my area. A lady like that wouldn’t be seen dead in a place like this.’
‘Right, thanks Dougie. Sorry to have, err, hauled you up like that,’ Gareth looks to the floor, shuffling his feet sheepishly.
This is a side to him I wouldn’t have thought he possessed!
‘I’ve had worse,’ Dougie replies. ‘Hope you got what you wanted.’
‘Yes. I think you should keep your head down for a bit for your own safety. I think things are going to get a little bit messy.’
‘I’ll be seeing you then,’ Dougie says then turns to go, blending into the shadows as he walks away.
‘Hopefully,’ Gareth mumbles before making his way back to my side.
What just happened? Who is Doug to Gareth? A snout? A relation? Just a friend? Whoever he is he appears to be a valuable source of information.
What I don’t get is what makes these guys risk life and limb for money. Dougie I can kind of understand as he has a child to support, but surely there must be a safer way, his kid needs him after all. What would happen if one day Dougie never went back to his child? What would happen then? In fact, I can’t bear thinking about that scenario. Poor kid.
‘Why just G anyway? Why can’t Gareth be okay?’ I ask in an attempt to keep my mind focused on something else.
‘Sorry?’ his voice distant.
‘G? Why use a letter? What’s wrong with Gareth?’
‘I don’t want to be found out. It’s also a means of keeping my distance. I think a first name is something personal and once you provide it you enter familiar grounds with someone. I don’t want that. Can’t have that.’
‘But you told me.’
‘That’s different.’
‘Why?’
‘Because…it just is.’
‘You could have kept me at a distance. Why didn’t you?’
‘Why do you want to know so badly? What are you trying to get at?’ A rough growl coats his words.
‘I’m not trying to “get” at anything. You want me to trust you, right and that’s what I’m trying to do. How do you expect to gain my trust when all you do is rebuff every question and keep everything bottled up inside? I need to get to know you if we are ever going to get anywhere. I can’t do that if you don’t let me in.’
Silence.
Steady drumbeat of my heart echoes in my ears.
His crystal blue eyes sparkle in the moonlight.
In the distance I hear cars racing up and down the road, dogs calling out to the world around them and cackling women trying to pick up another client. A fight breaks out by the entrance of a nightclub on the corner. A bouncer tries splitting them up with little success and gets a punch in the face for his efforts. However, all this means nothing to me as I wait for Gareth’s reply.
‘Fine,’ he sighs, body slumps and eyes drift to the floor. ‘I made it personal the day I decided to come looking for you.’ What? ‘I had to give you my name. I needed to, wanted to. Our paths have long been entwined; I just didn’t know it till now. I know so much about you from where you work to where you live. I know you like to let your hair down at the weekends and on the odd occasion during the week. I know that you always have a coffee and croissant from Starbucks on your way to work.’ Just a bit on the creepy side! ‘But they are just the facts. They are not you, but what you do. I want to…’
Something over my shoulder captures his interest and he stops mid flow.
I go to follow his gaze but instead fin
d myself shoved backwards, feet scuttling underneath me in an attempt to keep upright, and then I crash into a brick wall at the entry of a pitch black alley.
Gasping in shock I go to vent my fury when his lips plunder mine, kissing me with fierce passion. His tongue dives straight in to do battle, not waiting for acceptance, but it’s not like he needed it. As soon as those lips touch mine I’ve already submitted to anything else. My hands unconsciously go around his neck; fingers start to snake into his hair, pulling him closer. I give in to the bliss.
A moan vibrates up my throat as I feel his fingers stroke the underside of my left breast while his other cups a bum cheek. He then starts to grind his hips against mine and I’m only all too aware of the prominent growth hardening under the fabric of his jeans.
I want to touch more, bring him closer. I need to quench this burning ache between my legs. Got to have more.
One hand roams his back, up and down, clutching at his jacket here and there to eventually work its way inside the top of his trousers to fondle his buttocks through the underwear.
Gareth quivers.
Breathlessly I pull away to look into Gareth’s passion drugged eyes, but that’s not what I see staring back at me. In fact, he’s not staring at me at all. Instead his eyes are glued to something over my shoulder.
I snap my head round but only manage to get a glimpse of the object of interest before it disappears into the shadows.
A grey suit topped with a familiar set of dark, wavy hair and athletic build. There’s also something in the way he walks. Assured and confident. Powerful.
I know that walk. I know it very well, but surely…it can’t be, could it?
Chapter Twenty
‘Come on Alex, it’s time to go.’ A nervous edge creeps into his voice and he starts dragging me in the opposite direction.