by Nicole Helm
A memory that came back a little too easily due to how badly his leg was killing him. He didn’t know what it was about riding that screwed him up so much, but it sucked. Becca kept talking about getting some kind of all-terrain vehicle that might work better for him, but he hated the idea of spending foundation money on something just for him. Just for his weakness.
Thoughts for another day.
Gabe had gone down to the creek with Colin to throw rocks, while Monica kept a watchful eye from a safe distance and Becca and Alex bustled back and forth, chatting and laughing with each other.
“So,” Rose said, her voice low enough that no one around them could hear. “What did you tell your shrink about me?”
Jack had sprawled out on his good side to hide the fact that he was trying to stretch out his leg. Rose was sitting cross-legged next to him, and he squinted against the sun to look up at her face. Her hair was dark and straight, and he’d enjoyed watching the way the wind played with it when they’d been on the horses. Now he enjoyed the way the sun profiled her sharp nose and sharp chin, because as much as he didn’t think she was half as sharp as she pretended to be, he liked that she looked it—that she could be it and still have that softness underneath.
“I told her about you pretending to be my girlfriend.”
“And that’s it?”
She still didn’t look directly at him. Her gaze was focused down at the creek, either on the sway of the trees, or Colin’s gleeful cheering over rock splashes, or something else altogether.
“Did you expect there to be something else?”
She turned to him, her expression all narrowed-eyed suspicion.
He merely smiled, because every time he did, she got the oddest softening around her mouth, no matter how hard she tried to keep her scowl.
He couldn’t have explained to Gabe why or how this woman had crawled under all his ugly defenses, but the more time he spent with her, the more he wanted. Friendship, sure, but more.
Yes, he wanted more out of something for the first time in a long time, and that felt too good to back away from.
“What’s the deal with the kid?” she asked, jerking her chin toward the creek and effectively changing the subject.
“Monica’s husband died when Colin was a baby. Helicopter pilot. Colin’s still not quite jazzed about living here, but he’s taken a shine to Gabe. And Ron Swanson.”
“Ron who?”
“Becca’s pet goat.”
“Pet…goat. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. My sister’s brother-in-law has a ranch full of llamas. It seems Blue Valley is the capital of odd pets and ranch animals.”
She didn’t say anything else, just sat there like a picture, and Jack didn’t even bother to pretend he was looking at anything else. He was drinking her in, drinking this feeling in, and he was going to enjoy this easy contentment for as long as it lasted.
Which was why, when he noticed the little edge of ink peeking out from her sleeve, Jack leaned forward and nudged the sleeve of her T-shirt up so he could see the entire tattoo on her bicep. “What’s this one mean?”
She looked down at the colorful and delicate design. Unlike the dark horse on her shoulder and the menacing wolf on her left forearm, this was a bright and feminine infinity sign made out of pastel flowers and random letters.
“My sisters and I got matching tattoos last year. Those are all our initials,” she said, pointing to each flowing, flowery letter.
“And it’s an infinity sign,” he said, tracing the figure eight. He glanced up at her, knowing he’d find that dark gaze on him.
“Sisters forever. Blooming. No matter what.”
He wanted to press a kiss to it, to her, but it wasn’t the time or the place. When it was, when he finally got her naked—because it was feeling less and less like an if—he’d kiss every last tattoo, every last piece of her story that she’d had inked onto her skin.
“Mom!”
Both he and Rose looked over to where Colin raced up the bank. The boy reminded Jack of a gangly, excitable puppy, with old-dog Gabe slowly following.
“Mom! There’s a rope you can swing on to jump in. Gabe said I have to ask first. Can I? Can I?”
Monica frowned, glancing down at the creek and what appeared to be an old—if sturdy—rope hanging from a thick tree branch.
“Is the water deep enough?” Monica asked, voicing her question to Alex and Becca, the two people who knew the land the best.
“Well, it was when I was a kid,” Alex offered, glancing down at the creek. “And it even looks a little higher than it used to.”
Monica pressed her lips together. “I don’t know, Col.”
“Please, please, please, please, please—”
Monica held up a hand. “Not today. Maybe another day, we’ll put on our swim gear and check it out, but for today—”
“It’s hot,” Colin whined. “I’m so bored.”
That clearly hit Monica where it hurt. She frowned down at the creek again, studying it carefully. Then she shook her head. “We don’t know if it’s safe. The rope could break.”
“Can’t an adult test it first?” Colin pressed, looking hopefully up at his mother.
She laughed. “No.”
He turned his gaze to Gabe, an endearingly cheesy grin spread across his face.
“Sorry, kid,” Gabe replied. “I’m not walking around in wet jeans.”
“You’ll dry,” Colin replied, pointing up at the sun.
“I’ll do it.” Rose hopped up to her feet, earning surprised looks from just about everyone. Rose shrugged. “If it’s okay with your mom, I’ll test it out.”
“Oh. Well.”
Colin went through another round of a hundred pleases crammed into under a second.
“Okay. If Rose tests it out and gives it the okay…” Monica took a deep breath, clearly wrestling with mom instincts and wanting Colin to have some fun. “Then I guess you can.”
Colin let out a whoop and raced over to Rose.
“Come on, kid. Let’s see what we’re dealing with,” Rose said, sauntering down the bank toward the rope. “I didn’t know a bunch of ex–Navy SEALs would be afraid of a little water,” she added loudly.
Monica stifled a laugh as Gabe glared after Rose.
Jack got to his feet. “Well, I know a challenge when I hear one. You guys coming?”
“Ah, hell,” Alex muttered, following after Jack. But Gabe didn’t leave.
“She impugned your manhood, Gabe. Aren’t you going to go give it a try?” Becca offered with a sweet smile.
“Fuck no,” Gabe returned, still looking surly and pissed off, standing by the blanket with his hands in his pockets.
Jack made a few chicken noises. Becca giggled, and Gabe glared at her.
“You’re all children.”
“Oh, come on. Have some fun, Gabe,” Alex called. “We’ll see who can jump the farthest.”
Gabe muttered a few more curses, but he fell into line behind Alex. Jack couldn’t stop himself from grinning. It had been a long, long, long time since the three of them had done something purely fun together.
“Take off your shirts!” Becca yelled after them.
“Your girlfriend is objectifying us, Alex,” Gabe muttered.
“My fiancée,” Alex corrected. “Can’t say as I mind.” In a rare act of humor and fun, Alex pulled off his shirt and dropped it next to the bank.
Jack shrugged and followed suit, laughing when Monica and Becca cheered and whistled from the blanket.
“What a bunch of fools,” Gabe muttered before pulling off his own shirt.
They reached Rose and Colin, Rose holding the rope between her hands. “Ready to be impressed?” she offered, flashing a carefree grin, no sharp edges in sight.
“Don’t break your neck,” Jack returned.
She rolled her eyes, taking a few steps back before running and jumping off the bank. She swung out into the middle of the creek before she dropped, spreading her arms and legs wide. Rose landed in the middle of the creek with an impressive splash.
Jack realized he’d been holding his breath waiting for her to resurface, and even once she did, it wasn’t easy to catch that breath. She looked like some mythical creature, her hair wet and gleaming in the sun. Rose flashed him a victorious smile, which seemed to fill his lungs beyond capacity.
“You got it bad,” Gabe muttered, and Jack didn’t bother to try and read the tone there.
“What’s he got bad?” Colin asked, frowning.
“Nothing, runt. Let’s get you out there.”
Jack glanced back to find Alex staring at him with that old Navy SEAL–leader stare—trying to determine what was right and if he should step in.
Jack looked away from Alex. “Got something to say?” he asked, preparing himself for another lecture like Gabe’s from that morning.
“Nope. It’s just good to see you smiling, Jack.”
Jack didn’t have a thing to say to that. It felt good to smile. It felt good to do something fun and stupid. He felt good, and he wanted to hold on to that.
* * *
The water was cool, the sun was warm, and the view was helllooo. Alex, Gabe, and Jack might have been former SEALs, but they were still in excellent shape. Really excellent, drool-worthy shape as they jumped into the water one by one, Colin yelling in delight every time.
A splashing fight ensued and Rose drifted away from the group of men, trying to decide if she wanted to wade in or escape back to the picnic. Before she could make a choice either way, Jack drifted along with her.
She kept her gaze on Colin, Alex, and Gabe, the two older guys taking turns putting Colin on their shoulders and letting him fall off in a great splash.
“We seem to end up swimming together in our clothes a lot,” Jack said casually, his gleaming shoulders drifting closer and closer.
“There were a few less clothes last time.” And sadly, it had been too dark to properly appreciate the breadth and strength of those shoulders.
“Oh, I remember,” he replied, that lethal, brain-killing, heart-fluttering smile gracing his too-perfect face. The water made his hair and beard look darker, and the sun made his eyes seem an impossible sky blue.
“You couldn’t see anything,” she reminded him.
“I have a rich fantasy life.”
She laughed—couldn’t help it. He took away all her self-control, kept her in this ridiculous push and pull between what she knew was the right thing to do and what she felt was the right thing to do.
The sun was shining on the water and there were shouts of laughter and fun all around them. Jack had a perfect smile, and self-control was some distant memory on some faraway planet.
“You know I don’t have time to play all this hooky,” she said, more trying to remind herself than him that she had a bar to run and a life to live.
“And yet here you are.”
“Becca didn’t give me much of a choice on the whole picnic thing.”
“I’m pretty sure Rose Rogers had a choice,” he murmured, drifting still closer. He couldn’t do things like that in front of everyone who might start taking this all the wrong way, which she had a bad feeling would encourage Jack to keep taking everything the wrong way.
And you. You aren’t stopping any of it, are you?
He reached out and tugged down the front of her shirt, just a centimeter or two, and didn’t even have the decency to try to look down her top. “What’s this one?”
She looked down at the edge of the tattoo. A straight line between her breasts, something that wouldn’t have been showing at all if not for the water dragging down the collar of her T-shirt.
There were a million things she could say in response that wouldn’t be flirtatious promise, but…
Well.
She was wet, and he was shirtless, and she’d lost control of her brain. It’s all pretend, right? What’s the harm? “I think that’s a question for another day,” she returned, her voice too husky, her smile too sly.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t feel like stripping off my shirt in front of your friends.”
“You could tell me.”
“I could. I think I’d rather show you when the time’s right.” And with that little bit of idiocy, she swam away from him and climbed out of the creek.
Jack didn’t follow, which was good. She needed a breather, a reminder to herself that no matter what she pretended, she couldn’t get so wrapped up in the game that Jack started thinking it was real.
Rose tried to wring out her sopping hair as she climbed up the bank and back to the picnic, but she froze when she realized Monica and Becca were sitting on the blanket. Crying.
“What’s wrong?” she asked before she could think better of it.
Monica waved a hand in front of her face. “Nothing. Really. It’s a happy-tears situation.”
Rose glanced back at the creek, where the guys were still splashing around. She didn’t get it.
Monica cleared her throat and handed Rose a pop. “It’s just that Colin’s been slowly accepting the move here, but I haven’t seen him truly enjoy himself like that for a long time. A really, really long time.”
Which Rose supposed made sense. Delia cried over just about anything Sunny did, and Delia was so not a crier. But Becca crying right along with Monica didn’t compute.
Becca waved a hand toward the creek as if in answer to Rose’s unspoken question. “I haven’t seen the three of them goof around like that, all grinning and stupid…ever. It’s just…” Her voice squeaked. “Really good to see,” she choked out, more tears falling.
Rose didn’t have anything to say to that, so she sank onto the grass next to the blanket, not wanting to get anything wet. She popped the pop can top and took a long, slow drink, watching as the guys started climbing out of the creek. They got out one by one, helping Colin up and out, and then somehow making an easy joke out of helping Jack.
It was the first time Rose was really looking at all of them and could see the toll of war on their bodies. She couldn’t see any obvious marks on Alex, but he was walking with a limp that hadn’t been there before. Gabe had some uninterrupted lines and what Rose assumed were burn scars on his shoulder. Jack had clearly gotten the worst end of whatever happened though. He had marks up his side and down his arm, and his limp was as pronounced as she’d ever seen it.
All three of them were grinning and laughing, tousling Colin’s wet hair or giving each other friendly shoves. Rose got it then, Monica’s and Becca’s tears. While she’d seen all three of them brood in her bar, clearly war hadn’t beaten them.
And that was a beautiful thing. Enough that she felt her eyes sting a bit too.
“So, it’s really just all pretend?” Becca asked quietly.
Rose blinked, startled out of her reverie. Still, she stared straight ahead and didn’t pretend to misread Becca’s question. Best to nip any possible speculation in the bud. “Yup.”
“Jack’s a good guy,” Becca replied so very not subtly. Which was funny—that anyone would think she needed to be sold on Jack.
“I know,” she said, looking at Becca. “He deserves a good woman.”
Rose didn’t miss Becca and Monica exchange a glance, but she ignored it. She watched as the three scarred men and one excited boy made their way back to the picnic site. And she really hoped Jack found that good woman before Rose did any damage.
Chapter 13
Jack couldn’t have said a picnic with his entire friend group plus Rose was high on his “things he’d like to do with Rose” list, but it turned out he liked it all the same. He wasn’t surprised at the ease she had with Becca, Alex, and G
abe. They came into her bar enough. He was a little surprised how friendly and easy she was with Colin, if only because she rarely showed that laid-back, soft side of herself.
Which often evaporated anytime Monica spoke to her. There was a stiffness there. It wasn’t that sarcastic, edgy thing she applied with people she didn’t like at the bar. This was more genuine discomfort. A nervousness almost.
He imagined it was the therapist thing, but that didn’t make it any less weird to see discomfort on self-possessed Rose.
He wanted to understand more of her, and he knew she didn’t want that to happen. Actually, it wasn’t that simple. Clearly some part of her liked him, or she wouldn’t have been here. She wouldn’t have gone riding with him, and she definitely would have begged off when Becca suggested the picnic. It couldn’t all be pity that had her here.
She had a lot of baggage, that he knew, and she’d certainly built herself an armor against the world. Anyone who’d done that wouldn’t easily lay that armor down.
So he might have to get a little sneaky. Something he wasn’t sure he’d ever been, but the prospect of trying something new was appealing. Far more compelling than dwelling on the fact that his family would be here in a few short days.
“We should get back to Hick,” Becca said, standing up and brushing the grass off her pants. “You two can stay out longer if you want,” she said, smiling hopefully at Rose.
“I need to get back,” Rose said, hopping to her feet with a speed that was a little over the top. She jumped into helping Becca and Monica clean up the picnic, so Jack did the same. Colin chattered about the creek, and there were conversations about the perfect summer weather or having the picnics become a regular thing. Everyone talked and laughed on their way back to the truck.
Except Rose. Rose was silent. And not smiling.
Jack wanted to understand that. There were so many things about Rose he wanted to understand—the tattoos, the armor, why she was here if she didn’t want to be.
He needed more time, so when they piled out of the truck back at the ranch house and Rose was still silent, he knew what he had to do.