by Erin R Flynn
“No, Sera, let’s talk about—”
“Get him out of here before I can’t hold back,” I whispered to Carter, my wolf seething that a brand new wolf disobeyed me.
“What’s going on?” Dain asked as he and the twins came racing through the doorway.
“Carter can fill you in. I need some space and time to decide if I’m quitting the FBI or not.”
“What?” Brian breathed, looking like he’d been punched in the gut. “Why would you even joke about that?”
“I’m not,” I chuckled darkly. “It’s been one of the thoughts most stark in my mind since Murray told me. I think I’d rather quit than deal with the shit he will bring and all of this.”
“What’s the other one?” Brian asked.
“You don’t want to know,” Dain muttered, grabbing his arm and dragging him out of there with Hagan’s help.
“I do. What is it, Sera?”
I met his gaze. He wanted to know, demanded it of me, and did this to us, fine, he could know. “Throwing your ring in the lake and never seeing you again.”
“Sera,” he choked out, looking like the victim in this somehow. “Why?”
“Get him out of here!” I shouted, about to shift in anger that he seriously wasn’t getting what he’d done. The second he was gone I took off both rings and set them on the counter so they didn’t break if I shifted, knowing if I’d done it in front of him, I would have thrown his ring at him.
“Are you going for a run?” Carter asked gently.
“No, I want to soak and warm up,” I whispered as tears filled my eyes. “Please handle what I need you to and field everything for me today.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmured as they headed to the door.
“Me too.” Relief filled me when the door closed and I was alone. I locked the door and went for the bottle of wine I had chilling in the fridge.
I felt the first tears fall as I turned on the water after plugging the tub. I went with Nina’s calming bubble bath and added some of the stuff that would also chill out my other sides as one wanted to tear up Brian and a lot more while the other wanted to humiliate all involved as we were humiliated.
“Not even one fucking day to enjoy it before it all fell apart,” I rasped as I opened the bottle of wine. “Some people really just don’t get the happy endings.” I didn’t even bother with a glass as I got undressed and slid into the water, shocked I was still cold when my temper ran so hot.
But then it hit me I was hurt more than anything. I wasn’t mad, I was so fucking hurt I was devastated. I curled my arms around my legs and buried my face against my knees as I tried to hold it together. My phone rang and didn’t stop, the vibrations annoying as it clattered around the tile floor. I wanted nothing more than to ignore it but given we’d just had a bomb in Chicago, my personal shit would have to wait.
As it always did.
I wiped my eyes and saw I had missed calls from Monroe and Galvin.
Fuck.
I called Monroe back, including Galvin on the call so maybe it would stay professional. I wasn’t even sure I could handle that at the moment as I turned off the water.
“Thomas?” Monroe answered first, Galvin echoing him a moment later.
“Sir, I apologize for not answering, I was warming up. I called you both back immediately when I could.”
There was some silence as they caught up they were both on, Monroe clearing his throat. “Havers informed us that everything didn’t go according to plan.”
I ground my teeth. “Well, sir, I wasn’t in on the plan, so you’ll have to be a bit more specific as to what you mean.” Did the plan include punching you in the face because I might have liked that plan? “Congratulations on your promotion.”
“Thank you.”
Again there was silence and Galvin hadn’t even spoken yet. “Did someone already answer what you called me for?”
“Um, no, this was…” Monroe let out a heavy sigh. “Did you really say you might quit, Sera?”
I glanced up to see Noah and his shock as I wiped away tears, nodding it was true. “I don’t know how to respond to that, sir, but I’m really sure it wasn’t Chief Havers’s place to tell you that.”
“Are you angry just with Havers?” Galvin asked, finally talking.
“I’m not angry at all, Deputy Director,” I lied but well, it wasn’t what I was feeling most.
“Clearly that’s true,” he sighed. “Thomas, what’s going on? Talk to us.”
I wanted to scream that now they wanted to talk? They decide all of this and fuck up everything and now they wanted to talk? Un-fucking-real. I shrugged, deciding I wasn’t getting out of this call until I said something.
“I’m not sure what you want me to say, but assuming you mean today, the new division chief of the regular FBI chastised me in front of the CPD and other FBI that I didn’t have the authority to make statements to the press, allowed civilians to help, implied I’m a slut before accusing me of getting hysterical, knocked my ring and choice of men as I didn’t choose him but Brian, before saying in front of everyone I basically got my job by sleeping with Brian before my mistake had me transferred.
“And that was after he knew about my other ring, mocking me that I was blocked from him and he’s in the know enough to know about it, but before making it clear I would be under him as his office is bigger than mine and he figured he’d get an apartment in my building as that’s just how it goes with everyone able to get whatever they want from me as I’m that easy.
“After that he had fun announcing everything I didn’t know and to the others there that I’m sure shouldn’t have been privy to all of that before it was announced but no one will care about that because he will absolutely go run to the director—who he’s spying for—and tattle on everything I did ‘wrong,’ so if I open my mouth, it all looks defensive and a woman whining just like he did in training.”
The silence was so long that I actually looked to make sure the call was still connected. I decided to add the final nail just so it wasn’t on me but they knew.
“Oh, and the director is planning to retire soon so he can run for senate as an ultra-conservative and he plans to leak the deal the president made with the shifter council that you were there for as a way to turn the tide back to anti-supe and completely discredit you so you’re out of the way for any cabinet investigations when the Republicans take back the presidency next year and the guy after you is his buddy.”
“Holy fucking shit, Thomas,” Monroe whispered after several more moments. “I have so many questions to all of that.”
“Whatever you need, sir,” I replied, annoyed when my voice cracked. Or you can ask Havers since you’re such good friends now and your boys’ club doesn’t include me, who you’ve all used for career gain or more, but whatever, what do I matter?
“Okay, so you know Murray,” Galvin muttered. “We didn’t know that.”
I closed my eyes and bit my lip to keep in my response. I glanced up when I heard a splash, seeing Noah naked and getting in. I didn’t have the energy to argue or say I wanted to be alone, letting him slide behind me as I kept wiping away tears as if that would make them not happen or the hurt go away.
Galvin cleared his throat, getting he would have to ask the question he should have whenever this was all started. “How do you know Murray, Thomas?”
“We went through Quantico together, sir,” I bit out. “There have been a handful of crossings on cases over our careers as well.”
Monroe groaned deeply. “Please, please tell me that he is not the asshole you’ve mentioned when you’ve talked about training and how sexist it can be.”
“You would have to be specific, sir, as I have several stories like that.”
He sighed, realizing I wasn’t going to make this easy for them. No, but I wasn’t playing games. They clearly weren’t on my team so honestly, I didn’t want to tell them any of what I did or anything else.
I didn’t think they deserved
my trust like that anymore.
“When we set up the training center, you insisted only females spar with females because when you were a trainee you were the only female in that class and there was a trainee who repeatedly groped you when he picked you as his partner to ‘help’ you get ‘caught up,’” Monroe tried again. “And when you tried to report him, he’d already gone to the trainers to say he’d accidentally touched you and you got hysterical.”
“Yes, that was Andrew Murray,” I confirmed.
“What else did he do?” Galvin asked.
I didn’t reply right away, still wiping tears. “Sir, the trainers should have the reports I filed if they followed procedure, but I’m not sure as I was repeatedly reprimanded for being overly sensitive.”
“Was he the one who put it in Curtis’s head that you were a clairvoyant?” Monroe asked when I wouldn’t say any more.
“I believe so and I told you as much but that I didn’t have any proof.”
He was quiet another moment. “Because he was a loud broadcaster, right? You said he was up there with Harris.”
“Sir, I’m not sure this is an appropriate—”
He sighed like I was being unreasonable and I swallowed a growl. “We messed up, we get that, but we were trying to…”
Yeah, you let me know when you think of the ending of that sentence, asshole. “If there’s nothing else on today, I’m sure you are both busy.”
“Thomas,” Galvin sighed and really it wasn’t helping. “I’m sorry you’re mad.”
“I’ve repeatedly said I’m not mad, sir. If there’s anything else you need me to answer, let me know.”
“Nice job handling the situation today,” Monroe offered.
“Thank you, sir.”
“Get some rest, it was supposed to be a weekend off for you,” Galvin muttered.
“Thank you, sir, have a nice weekend, both of you.” I hung up and before I could stop myself, launched my phone across the bathroom. I winced as it broke the long mirrors, of course hitting right at where they connected, my phone breaking into pieces as well. “Fuck.”
Noah didn’t say anything, simply wrapping around me as he adjusted the controls to warm up the water and turned the tap back on. He turned the water off again when the tub was full.
“How bad is this guy really?” he asked after we about finished the bottle of wine.
I sighed heavily. “Noah, I’ve had government agencies threaten to ship me off to research facilities and not thought of quitting. Fuck, the previous CIA director was party to trying to live dissect me and I didn’t think to quit the FBI. Yeah, the guy is that bad I would take two Vlads and all that bullshit.”
“Why did they think doing this all as a surprise was a good idea?” he whispered, shocked more than angry, which was how I felt with a huge dose of hurt.
I shrugged, twirling around the empty bottle. “Apparently no one in the FBI respects me enough to ask me about anything.” I shook my head when he went to argue. “This isn’t the first time. Brian didn’t ask my opinion on who to replace me with as SAiC and that’s common. There’s been a lot of that.”
“Fuck, because that turned out well then too.”
I snorted. Yeah, that had been a disaster and a half but the problem was Andrew Murray was something the former SAiC Franks wasn’t… He was smart and that was dangerous in an enemy.
Fuck all the ducks we were screwed and they set it all up.
8
Carter and Dain both came back before we finished the bath and as much as I wanted to be alone, I knew there was lots to handle.
“He will immediately go to allies to sow distrust,” I informed them. “He did it at training, constantly implying I said something but never saying it but so people backed away.”
Carter nodded. “I saw it today. He’s going to make you the villain and the one to blame for everything. He was testing the mood and which buttons to press were effective. He loved the fact you didn’t know.”
I nodded. “He’ll pick those he sees as the easiest targets. Lillie with kids and he’s on our side so it’s not spying or whatever, but just an in for information. He’ll say he’s checking on the foxes to follow up and no one would think about it as he’s on our side as FBI but he’s not. I don’t know how much they already told him but he knows about my ring, which is more than I’m comfortable with.”
“You’re worried about the boys and Topher,” Dain muttered.
“Yes,” I whispered as I rubbed my hand over my hair. “And I’m spiraling that I dragged you guys into the FBI with me and I’m thinking of leaving. But then I leave this mess to who’s next and then they’ll be the junior division chief to the asshole.” A burst of laughter slipped out. “But if they have a dick the bosses might at least respect them or consult them about anything.”
“Fuck,” Carter sighed and I realized it wasn’t just the situation. “Monroe’s here.”
“Great, maybe he can sigh like I’m overreacting to my face now too,” I grumbled, getting out of the tub. I reached for my robe, feeling the concerned looks but ignoring them because they sort of made me feel like I was overreacting maybe.
The crying part at least but that was… Overload? The Brian involved part for sure.
“Do you want me to act as your attorney?” Dain asked me.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t know what to do or how to handle this one. This isn’t just Monroe making deals behind my back for my fight with Noah shit but—this was a major move and restructuring, putting Brian back as my boss and—no one told me? Are you—how can they think I wouldn’t be betrayed and distrust them? It’s not punishment but—”
I shut my mouth when Carter held his finger up to his lips. I nodded, sliding my robe on and heading for the door. I opened it as he reached it, unable to meet his eyes. “What else did you need, sir?”
He sighed heavily and I moved my hands in my pockets so I seriously didn’t punch him. He cleared his throat when I just stood there… Blocking the doorway. “You’re not going to invite me in?”
I didn’t answer. He’d been to my house before—that apartment even—but I also wasn’t dressed and others were there. “Is there something we need to discuss that you have to come in?”
“Clearly there is,” he grumbled.
I nodded, stepping aside. “Let me get dressed then.”
“If you want but I’ve seen you in way less dozens of times.”
I turned like he hit me. Yeah, I trusted you then.
“That came out wrong,” he muttered, moving closer and sighing when I took a step away.
“Keep sighing like she’s the problem and I’ll punch you like she won’t,” Carter warned him. “And you deserve way worse than that.”
“I know and I’m sorry, but we didn’t know this Murray guy was—”
“Because you didn’t ask her,” Carter snarled. “Brian was the same rank as her and you guys just all decided all of this that affects her—”
“It wasn’t like that,” Monroe defended. “The discussion about having a deputy director of the non-human division—”
“I know, I was the one who suggested it to the president,” I whispered, wiping my eyes again. “I was the one who suggested you would be perfect for the job.” I felt Brian arrive and the door was still open. “I’ve been at the center of all of it since the moment I was infected. I’ve been the driving force and poster girl for fighting for equality but when the moment came the boys’ club decided together.
“So now after all the times I’ve had your backs you guys left me out. So I hope you’re happy with your promotions because that’s what men get, right? And what? I got the ring? I got the husband like a good woman?” I met Brian’s stunned gaze and let him see how destroyed I was. “Because you also got the job I would have been in line for.”
“You said you didn’t want it,” he whispered.
“When did you ever ask me that?” I bit out, the tears flowing as my breathing came ou
t shaky. “I told Galvin right after I was infected I wouldn’t ever want Monroe’s job but his job has also changed and now he’ll be doing the politics more. So congratulations on your promotion, sir. I also remember telling you we couldn’t ever be anything real while you were my boss.”
“Sera, wait, we got an exception for—”
“Fuck, you just don’t get it,” Carter seethed. “You got the exception for both of you without talking to her. You fucked with her career and official stuff before you even asked her.”
“Good luck in DC,” I told Monroe. “You’ll fit in well there, sir.”
“Sera, wait,” he whispered but I just shook my head and turned to my room.
“I did all of this for us,” Brian shouted. “I did it so we could be together.”
I turned my head but couldn’t look at him. “Too bad you didn’t talk to the woman you wanted to be your wife about your decisions for us.”
“Dude, leave before you lose her for good,” Carter whispered as I reached my room. “Both of you just go.”
“I agree, you’ve pushed her too far,” Dain added. “You not only betrayed her, but you brought in someone she’s scared of to now have to work with all the time. She’s terrified for the boys and Topher and you brought him here without talking to her. And she’s your Alpha and a more powerful Mistress than you.”
“Can all of you just go?” I whispered when Noah came after me. “I’m done with the ‘poor, poor Sera’ shtick, so can I just have some space, please?”
“No, because you cut yourself off from people in response and those walls we’ve all had to work so hard to bring down get thrown back up,” Dain argued.
“Yeah, shame on me for letting them down ever,” I chuckled, shoving my hair out of my face. “Now all the supes in the city or more are in danger because of me.”
“No, it’s our fault and we can fight this guy and turn it around on them now that we know,” Monroe argued.