by Cat Adams
“Oh, shit. Honey, I can’t even tell you how sorry I am.”
“Thanks.” I held him tight, listening to the strength of his heartbeat, taking in the scent of soap, shampoo, and him.
He didn’t say another word, just held me, and that was exactly what I needed. After a couple of minutes, when I was ready, I pulled back and looked up, straight into his eyes.
“I know what you’re going to do.”
His expression, so gentle before, changed to shock, his eyes widening.
“You know.” He whispered the words as his hand came up to cup my face. “Mom swore us to secrecy. But you know.”
I nodded.
I saw thoughts racing across his face. “Isaac?” he guessed with sad smile. “He’s the only one not intimidated by her.” He wiped a tear from my face with his thumb, then leaned in to kiss me. At first it was gentle, barely a brush of the lips. Then he pressed his lips to mine, kissing me as if I was life, breath, everything he needed to survive. I kissed him back the same way. He pulled away first, his eyes dark with passion and pain. “I love you, Celie. And while I wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, I’m afraid. I know what we have to do. And I’m willing to do it. But Matty … mom … someone’s going to die. What if it’s one of them?”
He looked so lost. Normally he’s incredibly confident, and with good reason. He’s a powerful man, both personally and magically. But his family means everything to him. “Mom and Sal have been trying to find a mage willing to suicide. That’s usually what people do when they need to access a node—find somebody who wants to die, offer to take care of his or her family. It’s ugly, but it happens. There’s even a standard contract.”
I hadn’t known that. I was a little shocked, but only a little. Life is hard. A lot of people decide they don’t want to go on. Some of them were bound to be mages. But although I could actually sympathize with someone wanting to give up in the abstract, I had a much harder time dealing with my mother’s suicide attempt. Maybe because a not so small part of me didn’t really believe she wanted to die—but rather thought it was just one more manipulation meant to hurt me. Unfair? Probably. But still true.
I shook my head, forcing my attention back to what Bruno was saying.
“So far, we’re not having any luck finding someone who is ready to die.”
Maybe what I was going to attempt held only a small hope for success, but it was hope. He needed that right now.
“I may have a solution.”
I could tell from his expression that he doubted that was possible. I could understand that part of him didn’t want to hope, didn’t want to risk being disappointed. He swallowed hard. Taking me by the hand, he led me to the couch and sat, pulling me down beside him. “Tell me.”
I told him everything I knew and everything I suspected. I finished with, “I don’t know who else is involved other than Connor and Jack Finn. I don’t know what they’re planning. I just know that they’re afraid of me. Connor Finn told me at the beginning that their seer had said that if I got involved it could spoil everything, but that killing me would make it worse. He said there was even the possibility of failure.”
“The possibility of failure,” Bruno repeated. He didn’t sound reassured.
“When I talked with Connor Finn at the prison, he said I didn’t have a clue about the big picture, and he’s right. But when I told him that I had one piece of the puzzle and that without it, he wouldn’t have his big picture, he didn’t deny it. In fact, it made him really angry.”
“And what’s your piece of the puzzle?”
“Michelle Andrews. I’ve got to keep her safe. And I think I know how to do it.” I told him my plan. There was a long, thoughtful silence. Finally, I couldn’t bear it any longer. “What do you think?”
“I think you may be right,” he admitted. “But even if you’re right and Conner Finn dies, that doesn’t mean we’ll automatically win. If the three remaining mages are strong enough and skilled enough to balance the power, they can use the node. I’ve read about it. My mother experienced it.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “Is that everything you know? I need to know it all. I’ve never seen my mother frightened of anything, and these people terrify her.”
I closed my eyes so that I wouldn’t have to look at his face, see his pain and worry. I couldn’t do anything more to make things better, and it hurt to know that. “I’m sorry, Bruno. I wish I knew more. I wish I could say I was sure we’ll succeed. But we have a chance. And we have to try.”
“Yes. We do.” He was as firm as I was in that.
It was very late—or very early—and although we had only a couple of hours before we needed to be up and moving, we did have those hours. So we went to bed, and while neither of us was feeling amorous, it felt good to be together, just holding each other for comfort.
30
Minnie got us up at seven. I wasn’t thrilled, but there was no denying her. I answered nature’s call, then started the coffee brewing while Bruno took a shower. I went back to bed, curling up under the sheets, trying to relax. At seven thirty, I called my gran. It was really too early, what with the time difference, but I called anyway. She answered on the first ring, sounding wide awake. It wasn’t a surprise, really, she’s always been a morning person. But it broke my heart that her usual cheer had been replaced with something very close to despair.
At times like this, I would cheerfully throttle my mother.
“Baker said that it was more a cry for help than a real attempt.”
“Yes,” Gran admitted. “The doctor said that, and I think he’s probably right. But it just breaks my heart. I know she’s done wrong by you and made mistakes. But she’s my Lana. I can’t bear knowing she’s in so much pain, that she feels so alone. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“It’s okay, Gran, I get it. You love her. Hell, I do, too. And I know it had to be a real blow that Ivy left for good without even saying good-bye to her.”
“Ivy was her baby,” Gran agreed. “And while parents shouldn’t have favorites—” They shouldn’t, but they often do. Mom did, and I wasn’t the one. “I wonder sometimes if it’s because you’ve always been so strong and self-sufficient. Lana needs to be needed. Just like I do.” She sounded wistful.
Wow, that explained a lot. Not about Mom; I wasn’t buying that for a second. We’d needed the heck out of her when we were little and she’d chosen drugs and booze over us. But for Gran, it made perfect sense. It explained why Gran had to rescue Mom every time she did something stupid. She honestly couldn’t help herself.
“Look, I tell you what,” I began, thinking furiously as I spoke. Tonight was the full moon. Tomorrow everything would be over, for good or ill. “Why don’t I see if I can catch a flight out to Serenity midweek? I’ll have my doctor check with Mom’s, and if they okay it, the two of us will go to the prison for an in-person visit.”
“You’d do that? After everything?” I heard the edge of hope in her voice and felt my heart lift.
For Gran, I would walk through fire. “Yes.”
“Oh, honey, that means so much to me! I love you so much.” Now she sounded more like herself and I was glad.
“I love you, too.”
When we hung up, she was in a better frame of mind, and Bruno was standing in front of me wearing nothing but a bath towel.
“Was that your gran you were talking to?”
“Yup. About my mom, of course.”
He stepped closer and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I wish I could help. I know I can’t, but I wish I could.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.” I did, too.
“Look, why don’t you go take your bath while I fix breakfast. Sound good?”
“I have a better idea.” I gave him a slow smile. “Why don’t the two of us take a shower.”
His eyes widened and his body immediately began to react. “What a wonderful idea.”
It was a long shower. I’ve sel
dom felt so clean or so satisfied. We didn’t get out until the hot water gave out and we were both completely sated and famished for breakfast.
Bruno dried off quickly and headed for the kitchen while I put on some makeup. One thing about the new hair, it was definitely easier to manage. No muss, no fuss, ready to go. A girl like me could get used to that.
I was feeling pretty good by the time I was ready to get dressed. Back in my bedroom and wrapped in my fluffiest robe, I found a shopping bag on my bed. It hadn’t been there before.
“Bruno?” I called.
As he so often did, he knew what I was asking from just a single word. He called back, “I was at the hospital with Isaac yesterday when Dom Rizzoli stopped by. He gave me your things. I meant to bring them in before; I just got sidetracked.”
Yay, the rest of my best gear! Before I had a chance to put it on, Bruno yelled that breakfast was ready.
I raced down the stairs. Bruno had not only made food, he’d straightened up—a lot of the flowers, which had begun to die, were gone. I assumed he’d taken them out to the trash when he’d gone to get my gear from his car.
A huge chunk of sapphire sat in the middle of my kitchen table as we ate.
“What’s that?” I asked. I thought I knew, from some reading I’d done back in college, but I wasn’t sure.
“It’s a vosta, a focus stone. You can use a good-quality crystal in a pinch, but unflawed gemstones are better. Diamonds are best but damned hard to come by and very expensive. This was the best I could come up with on short notice. And I wouldn’t have been able to get my hands on this if Isaac hadn’t made some calls for me.”
“Do I even want to know how much that cost?”
He looked at me soberly. “More than my house.”
Oh, hell.
“It’ll be worth it,” he promised. “Using the vosta we can combine our magics better, turning them into a single, flawless whole.”
I didn’t doubt he was right. But more than his house? Damn.
I steeled myself, looking from the rock to Bruno and back again. “Seriously, how hard is this going to be for you?”
“It’s probably the hardest thing any of us will ever do,” he said quietly. “Combining magic is never easy, even when there’s a strong connection between the mages; controlling a node is so dangerous nobody sane does it if there’s any other choice.”
“But you’re still going to do it.”
“We have to. We can’t let Connor Finn have access to the power of a node and we’ve got to get the prison sealed up again. I know I could die and that scares me shitless, but this is something worth dying for. I have to do it.”
I’d risen from my seat without thinking about it. I moved around behind him and wrapped my arms around him as I kissed the top of his head.
“I know you’re right. But I hate it.”
“I hate it, too.”
It was nine o’clock by the time Bruno left. But having him around had helped—I almost felt like my usual self.
I spread sunscreen over my skin then stood in front of the closet trying to decide what to wear. Ultimately, I went with my most comfortable black jeans, a sapphire blue blouse, and my beloved black blazer. I also wore a Colt in a shoulder holster, a Glock in the back of my waistband, and anything and everything else I thought I might possibly need tucked into the pockets, loops, and compartments of my jacket. I was a walking armory, and damn, I looked good.
I finished off with my black Nikes, the ones with the white swoosh and the blue layer in the sole. You never know when you’re going to have to make a run for it, and I wanted to be prepared. That was my motto for the day. Me and the Scouts.
When I put on my ring, I could feel the power of it augmenting my meager natural siren abilities. Good. I’d need the advantage of telepathy. Which reminded me … I went back into the bedroom, opened the safe, and took out some other very special jewelry. Then I grabbed the sniper rifle I’d liberated from Jack Finn during the previous day’s confrontation and went outside.
My timing was excellent—Dawna had just reached the gate. I was surprised that she wasn’t driving das Humvee. As I climbed into the car I started to ask whether everyone was in place and everything ready … then I got a good look at her.
She looked grim. Her makeup was minimal, her hair pulled back severely and tucked into a simple bun. She was wearing all black—black jeans and a black silk shell under a black suit jacket not unlike my own. Her jewelry was tasteful, just earrings and a matching bracelet. She wasn’t wearing a ring.
Oh, crap. She wasn’t wearing her engagement ring.
“Dawna?” I turned to her, not sure what to say or how to say it.
Driving, she spoke without looking at me.
“Chris and I have broken up. I don’t know if it’s forever. I’m not sure, but I won’t live with him or any man ordering me around. I’m an adult and his equal. If we’re ever going to make it work, he has to treat me like one.”
“Dawna, I’m so sorry.” Funny, I didn’t feel at all responsible for my mother’s failed suicide attempt, but I blamed myself horribly for Dawna’s breakup.
“It’s not your fault.” She stopped at a red light and turned to look me straight in the eyes. “He keeps trying to make it about you, but it really isn’t. It’s about me, and what I want, and what risks I consider worth taking. And the fact that he refuses to recognize that, and respect it, is one of our biggest issues.” Her voice was tight with both anger and pain, and I could see the tears that filled her eyes, tears that she refused to let fall.
“I’m so sorry.” I knew I was repeating myself, but I just couldn’t think what else to say.
“I’m okay … I’ll be okay. I will. I know it’s better that we found out now, before we actually got married.” Her words cut off as her throat tightened too much for her to speak. She took a ragged breath, trying to steady herself. The light changed and she drove on. We said nothing further, but I tried to project I will support you in whatever you decide at her.
She drove to the airstrip, dropping me off at the curb, not even willing to pull into the parking lot for fear that she’d run into Chris.
“Be careful, Celia,” Dawna said as I climbed out of her car. “I need you to come back from this okay so that you, Emma, and I can have that trip to the spa.”
“Don’t worry. We will, I promise. Later.”
“Later,” she agreed.
I watched her drive away, then hurried across the lot.
Even though I’d arrived a few minutes early, Bubba and Talia were already waiting by the gate, in the shade. Talia was dressed in desert camo. Bubba was wearing khaki cargo pants and a matching polo. They waved in greeting and I hurried over to join them, grateful for a spot out of the burning sun.
I pulled a velvet jewelry box from my bag, then turned to my employees. “Talia, I want you to wear the bracelet and one of the earrings. Bubba, you get the other one.”
Talia looked at the beautiful diamond bracelet I was handing her with a mixture of lust and horror. Lust, because it was just freaking gorgeous. Horror, because, seriously, with camo? The look she gave me as she reached for the ornaments said more plainly than words that she was fairly certain I’d completely lost my mind. I didn’t blame her. It’s not every day that your boss asks you to wear a tasteful diamond earring and a matching bracelet into a possible firefight.
As she and Bubba took the jewels, I explained. “The bracelet is a microphone. It’s got good range, even without the reinforcing magics, so I should be able to hear what’s going on at your end no matter what happens. The earrings are speakers, in case I need to give you orders. I know they’re a little flashy, but they’re what I already had on hand, and I haven’t had time to pick up something more boring.”
“Ah, okay then.” Talia smiled, relieved that the boss wasn’t a complete nut job after all.
“Can’t you just use your telepathy?” Bubba asked. He looked at the delicate earring balanced on his palm
the way I’d look at a cockroach.
“I don’t want to count on it. Finn was able to block my telepathy when they dumped me on the beach. I don’t want to risk us being out of contact.”
Bubba sighed and gave me a look that let me know in no uncertain terms that we would be discussing this later. Then he took out the simple onyx stud he usually wore and put the new earring on in its place.
He kept glowering until I passed him the rifle. The sour look vanished immediately, replaced by a toothy grin. I’d known he’d be happy about the rifle. “Would you look at this,” he purred, caressing it lovingly. “Isn’t this the one you—”
“Took from Jack Finn? Yes, it is. Spoils of war. You may not need it. But if you do, feel free.”
“Have you ever used a high-powered rifle, Bubba?” John Creede asked from behind me.
“Yes, I have.”
“Celia?” John was questioning my abilities and decisions. Again. I didn’t like it. Not even a little. But I didn’t want to piss him off. Then he might not let my people in on the operation. So I managed to be mostly polite when I replied.
“Why yes, John, I have used a high-powered rifle. I’ve also used a flame thrower and a grenade launcher.”
Talia’s eyes went wide. Bubba just grinned and said, “Tell him about the tank.”
I scowled at my longtime friend. The tank story was not one I cared to share. It was just too embarrassing. “That was a long time ago and we are not going to talk about it.”
Bubba laughed. John just shook his head in amusement. “Fine, fine. I doubt you’ll need it, but I’ve never regretted having extra weapons.”
He extended his hand to Talia. “I’m afraid I didn’t give Celia a chance to introduce us. I’m John Creede.”
“Talia Han. And I’ve used similar rifles in the service. I’ve got the marksmanship medals to prove it.” I wanted to grin; having Talia continue my theme did wonders for my sense of humor.
But I kept a straight face as I wondered if I’d given the rifle to the wrong employee. Then again, Bubba was no fool. If he thought she was a better shot, he’d give her the weapon.