She put down her fork, closed the lid on the bracelet, placed the box on the tickets, and slid them back to his side of the table. “I can’t accept these.”
Surprise flickered across his face, followed by hurt. “You don’t understand. Things will be different from now on. I’ll—" His phone buzzed and his gaze instantly dropped to it. He read whatever message appeared, frowned, and muttered something under his breath. To give him credit, he didn’t pick up the phone, but she could see he was sorely tempted.
Jess looked across the room and waved at Marian, trying to get the waitress’s attention, but she was too busy chatting to another customer to notice.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to ask for the check.” Jess pushed her plate away. “We’re finished here, Evan. I’m done being second to your work.”
“Jess, I didn’t even answer it!”
“But you wanted to.”
“It was the lawyer working on the Sanchez case, and I thought I should let him know—but you’re right. I shouldn’t have even looked at it.” Evan put his phone into his pocket, and then placed his hands flat on the table. “Done. Over with. I won’t touch it again.”
She shrugged, her entire body weighted as if with lead. “We should go. I’ve got things to do back home.”
His frown was instant. “Our home is in Atlanta.”
“Not mine. Not anymore.”
“Damn it, Jess.” He sighed. “You never liked Atlanta, did you?”
“I liked it, but we had three houses, Evan. Three.”
“I have offices in Atlanta, San Francisco, and Miami, so we needed places there.”
“Needed? We never stayed anywhere more than a week or two at a time. We were like nomads.”
He frowned and picked up a fry, only to put it back on his plate. “I didn’t know you felt this way.”
It bothered him, she could see it. “That’s because I never told you. See? A lot of this was my fault, too. I wasn’t honest about things. Not even a little. And that doomed us just as much as your working habits.” She felt miserable admitting it.
He stared down at his plate. After a long while, he looked up, his gaze dark. “I don’t understand why you just want to quit. We were great in the beginning, Jess. That’s something.”
“In the beginning, yes. But name one time in the last two—no, three years that we spent together, just the two of us. Something that wasn’t interrupted by your work.”
“Okay. We spent a week in Jamaica—” He stopped and winced. “I was in the middle of the Davis merger then, wasn’t I? I was on the computer part of the time.”
“All of the time.”
“It was complicated, but yes, that’s a bad example.” He rubbed his jaw, thinking. “What about that weekend in Montreal where we—oh. The Bradford/Parks contract. That was a mess though. We almost ended up in court over the—” He threw up a hand when she rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay. But what about—” He paused, obviously culling through a long list of memories.
After a moment, his shoulders fell, his sigh deep.
She picked up her fork and stabbed a green bean with more force than was warranted. “We didn’t have a single vacation where you weren’t pulled away by work.”
Evan was quiet a long moment. Finally, he said, “All I know is I love you. I can’t accept this is it. I just can’t.”
“It wasn’t working, Evan. We tried and we failed. It’ll be easier for us both if we just leave things as they are and move on.” She should have been used to those words by now, because she’d thought them a thousand times, and yet they burned as if they were acid. Tears clouded her eyes and she looked down at her plate to keep him from knowing how hard she had to fight to keep her emotions under control.
“We could try a marriage counselor or—”
“Evan, stop it. I’m done. I’m exhausted and worn out and I just can’t.”
He winced and then leaned back in his seat, raking a hand through his hair. “That’s harsh.”
“It’s the truth.” She hated how her words hurt him. Hated it with a passion because his pain was hers. It took all of her newfound strength to fight the urge to blurt out something soothing just to ease the hurt she saw in his eyes. When had she become more worried about his feelings than hers? Whenever it was, it was over. While she cared about him, she had to be honest about who she was and what she wanted.
Suddenly tired, she stirred her mashed potatoes. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
She expected him to argue, but after sending her a deep, brooding look, he said, “Fine. But can we at least stay for the rest of the meal? You were right about the meatloaf.”
She supposed it was the least she could do. “Sure.”
He collected the jewelry box, returned the tickets to their envelope, and put them back into his pocket.
“There.” He picked up his fork. “What should we talk about?”
“Something positive.”
“Why don’t you tell me about the motel? What’s your overall plan?”
She was more than willing to talk about the motel and had a lot to say. For the next thirty minutes they talked, and Evan’s tense expression relaxed as he listened. She liked that the questions he asked were both sharp and thoughtful, although he couldn’t seem to help himself from suggesting ways to “better” her plans.
Eventually, they segued from the motel to Brad’s defection and what that had meant to Evan. Jess was glad he didn’t refer to their relationship again. Tomorrow, his car would be fixed, and he’d leave, and she’d go back to making her own dreams come true. But tonight, they were doing something they hadn’t done in a long, long time—sharing their lives without anyone else being a part of it.
While he spoke, she watched him, and decided that now and then, there was something un-Evan-like in his expression. Something almost vulnerable.
Marian stopped by to clear their table and to try and talk them into dessert. They refused, so the waitress left the check, offering to wrap up the rest of Jess’s meatloaf so she could take it home.
The waitress had just taken Jess’s plate when Evan’s phone buzzed.
Jess waited for him to dig his phone from his pocket, but he didn’t move. “Aren’t you going to answer that?”
“Not this time.” He sent her an almost tired smile and then picked up the check. “Allow me. It’ll salve my bruised ego.” He pulled out his credit card and placed it on the tray. “I owe you for the room, anyway.”
Jess wished she’d given him one of the redone rooms. She’d wanted to discourage him from staying, so she’d given him one of the original rooms, one with ugly, burnt orange carpet and chipped, white lacquered furniture older than her pickup truck. At least the room was clean, although that was the only good thing about it.
Still, she felt a little guilty as she said, “Thank you for dinner.”
His gaze darkened. “Any time.”
She ignored the seriousness of his gaze and a few moments later, they were on their way out of the restaurant. Evan must have tipped generously, because Marian smiled brightly at him as they left.
They went to Jess’s truck and she drove them back to the motel. Jess filled the awkward silence with comments about the town, pointing out the new businesses that were springing up here and there. She was glad when they finally got home.
Home. The old motel with its endless possibilities, colored as it was by her fond memories of its better days, felt more like home than anywhere she’d lived in the last five years.
“Here we are,” Jess announced as she parked the truck. She collected her purse and leftovers, and then hopped out. She walked to the back of the truck and into the relative safety of the wide-open parking lot, where Evan joined her.
The evening breeze whispered through the trees overhead and tugged at the bottom of his suit jacket and rippled across the bottom of her dress.
Evan’s gaze locked on her. “I guess this is it.”
“Trav is supposed to call in the morning with an update on the car, so I’ll let you know what he says.”
“Sounds good. Thanks again for dinner.”
“Sure.” He put his hands into his pockets, looking oddly lost, standing there under the humming light that lit the parking lot. “I don’t suppose you’d be up for a drink? It’s still early.”
She had to swallow twice to keep herself from agreeing. “Not tonight.”
He nodded as if he’d expected her answer. “I’ll watch some TV. Maybe there’s a game on.”
“There’s no cable yet, but there’s Wi-Fi. The password is—”
“BrunoMarsIsMyLovah.”
She had to smile. “That’s it.”
His gaze lingered on her mouth. “At least some things are still the same.”
Too much so. Jess ached with the pain of walking away, of leaving him alone, of being alone herself. For a wild moment, she imagined tossing all caution to the wind, throwing her arms around his neck, and kissing him the way she used to, passionately and without the pain of a long, long list of rejections.
But that wouldn’t be fair to either of them, so instead, she tucked her purse under one arm and clasped her leftovers with both hands, which kept her from making such a grave error.
His gaze slid over her, lingering on her mouth. “I’ll see you in the morning?”
“Sure. I usually set out coffee and a light breakfast in the lobby around eight for the various workmen coming through. There’ll be more options once the place is open.”
“I’m sure they appreciate it, as will I.” A smile, polite and tired, flickered over his face. “Good night, Jess. Thanks for the talk, and the honesty.”
“You, too.” Her eyes burned from the weight of the words she’d spoken, and those she’d heard, too. “See you tomorrow.” Without giving herself time to say anything else, she turned on her heel and went back to her apartment, far too aware that he watched her every step.
3
Evan
The cell phone rang into the silence and jerked Evan from a deep sleep. He rolled to his side and blindly reached for his phone, accidentally knocking it off the nightstand. Cursing, he leaned over the edge of the bed and retrieved his phone from the floor.
Ashley C flashed across the screen.
He rolled to his back and hit the answer button. “Hello.”
“Good morning!” Ash’s voice spilled into the silent room. “I sent the changes you marked to Legal and, except for a few tweaks, they were all okayed. I believe his exact words were ‘Good catch.’”
“Good.” Evan rubbed his face and then glanced at the windows. He’d drawn the shades before he went to bed, and they were surprisingly effective. It was a pity the bed wasn’t as well designed as the blinds. The ancient thing sagged in the middle so badly that he felt as if he’d been sleeping in a ditch. “What time is it?”
“Eight.” There was a surprised pause and then she said, “You aren’t up yet?”
“I’m getting there.” He stifled a yawn and supposed he couldn’t fault Ashley for her surprise. Since Jess had left, he’d started going to the office at six and sometimes earlier, including weekends. Anything was better than sitting in his echoingly empty house.
“Will you be in later today?” Ashley asked.
“I don’t know yet. I’m still in Dove Pond at Jess’s motel.”
“Oh Evan! That’s—have you and Jess—”
“No. Not yet.” And probably never. His chest ached as he thought of Jess’s face last night during their talk, how furious and then sad she’d looked. He’d spent most of the night in his uncomfortable bed, staring at the ceiling, and thinking about that very thing.
“Are you making any progress?”
“If I keep answering this phone, no. Apparently she hates that.”
Ashley made an impatient noise. “Then stop answering it.”
“You’re the one who called me,” he retorted. “And on a Saturday, too.”
“You work Saturdays, so we have to work Saturdays.”
Evan frowned. “I’ve never asked you guys to do that.”
“Yes, you did. I got an email from you just last night asking for the details on the new lawsuit. You said you needed them for the Monday morning conference call.”
Evan didn’t think it was possible, but now he felt even worse. “Sorry, Ash. I didn’t mean to force you into the office on a weekend. Starting today, I’ll be more careful.”
“Thank you. To be honest, everything you needed for the conference call was already in your folder.”
He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “I’m an idiot. I should trust you guys to get things done.”
“You should. I wouldn’t have sent you that last contract except you asked to see it.”
“Yeah, and if I hadn’t looked at it—”
“—then I would have looked at it instead, noticed the issues with it, made the necessary changes, and sent it on to Legal exactly as you did. But no, you wanted to see it for yourself and so I sent it to you.”
Evan could almost see her frown. He sat up and swung his bare feet to the floor. “Brad hated it when I did that.”
“And now he’s gone,” Ashley said in a flat tone.
God, why was every person he knew suddenly intent on pointing out his flaws? It was getting annoying. “You think I should let you handle the rest of this deal.”
“I do. And while I’m working on it, you can work on fixing things with Jess.”
“Leave Jess out of this, Ash,” Evan growled.
“I know, I know. I shouldn’t say anything about your personal life, but you’ve been miserable since she left. Everyone here in the office can see that.”
“That’s my business.”
“Not when you bark at people the way you’ve been doing for the last two weeks.”
“I haven’t been that bad.”
“Not that bad? Evan, you have no idea how bad you’ve been. Please, put the phone away and go spend some time with Jess. You know you want to.”
“I’m going to.” If she’ll let me. “Still, I’m not leaving that contract out to dry. Promise you’ll call if anything else comes up.”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is. Talk to you later.” He dropped the phone back on the nightstand and then stretched, wincing as his back protested. This old mattress was hell on a body. Still sitting on the bed, he scuffed his foot over the ugly orange carpet. It was older than he wanted to think about, as was the painfully thin blue-and-orange-striped bedspread. The furniture was covered in a weird white lacquer that was chipped in places, revealing cheap pressboard beneath. The bathroom was even worse as it was decorated a dull turquoise blue with bright orange stripes, the colors unfortunately echoed in the sink and counter.
The whole place reeked of the 1970s and not in a good way. It was a million miles away from the perfection of the lobby, but not for long, if what Jess had told him over dinner was true.
Last night, after he’d reluctantly agreed to talk about less painful topics, Jess had given him the lowdown on the motel. She had an in-depth, well-thought-out plan for the property, which didn’t surprise him as she’d always been an ace planner. What had surprised him was the way her face had lit up as she talked about this funky old place.
She loved this rickety motel and was excited to bring it back to life. Watching her face glow, Evan realized that it had been years since he’d seen her so excited. In fact, last night as he’d stared at the ceiling for hours on end, it had dawned on him that he hadn’t been that excited about anything in a long, long time, either.
He sighed and eyed the nearly flat pillows piled four deep beside him. Maybe if he slept another hour, he would be able to think clearer and—
Bang!
Bang!
Evan scowled at the closed door.
Bang Bang Bang!
“What in the heck,” he growl
ed, reaching for his pants and yanking them on as he hopped toward the door. Who in the hell hammers on things at this time of the morning? Muttering a curse, Evan stepped outside.
The morning sunlight made him shade his eyes as he clenched his jaw against the chilly air.
Standing on a ladder on the sidewalk, hammer in hand, was Doyle. The handyman was dressed in a fresh set of overalls that sported a ripped knee, and a white T-shirt splattered with red paint. An ancient-looking leather toolbelt hung around his rotund waist.
Doyle pointed his hammer at Evan. “You forgot your shirt.”
“You’re lucky I stopped to put on my pants. What in the hell are you doing, banging away at this time of the morning?”
“I didn’t know anyone was in that room.” Doyle climbed down the ladder. “So Miss Jess put you in Room Ten, did she?”
Evan rubbed his cold arms, frowning at the amused grin on the old man’s face. “What’s wrong with this room?”
“Nothing, I guess.” Doyle chuckled as if he’d just made a joke. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s the farthest room from the main office.”
A fact Evan had noticed but hadn’t admitted to himself. “So?”
“Also, it hasn’t been updated. Rooms One and Two have been updated, but Miss Jess didn’t give you the key for either of those, did she?” Doyle laughed and slapped his knee as if he’d just made a huge joke.
Evan suddenly remembered that last night Jess had mentioned how she’d completed two rooms and was working on two more. But it hadn’t occurred to him that she would stick him in the worst room available. Making a point, were you?
Doyle snickered, shaking his shaggy head. “But other than that, it’s a fine room. A wonderful room. Best one on this end of the parking lot.”
Evan glanced over his shoulder at the depressing condition of Room Ten. “Apparently Jess didn’t want me to get too comfortable.”
I Loved You First Page 19