I made it inside and ran into a stall, locking the door behind me. I sat on the lid of the toilet cistern and let the tears out. At least the sounds of flushing and tinkling from the other stalls drowned out my sobs. I didn’t want anyone to know I was crying. They would think I was such a weirdo. And that was definitely against the rules.
“Amery, are you in here?” I could recognize Lola’s voice anywhere.
“In here,” I replied, waving a hand underneath the stall wall.
“Are you okay?” Her Doc Martens peeked under the door. I got up and unlocked it, opening it just enough to see Lola. She took one look at my puffy eyes and knew something was up. “What happened?”
I pulled her in and we both perched on the toilet lid. “Havi kissed me.”
She laughed gently. “You’re crying because your date kissed you? Isn’t that a good thing?”
“It was my first kiss and I was only doing it to annoy Lochie. I wasted my first kiss.” I sounded like a crazy girl but I couldn’t stop. “I shouldn’t have used Havi like that.”
Lola put her arm around my shoulders, trying to calm me down. “No, you probably shouldn’t have. But he’s a guy and he probably didn’t even notice. Right now, he’s most likely wondering where his date got to.”
I was too upset to believe her. Havi probably thought I was a proper cow for doing what I did. Surely he had to know what I was up to. I didn’t want to face him – or Lochie for that matter. No doubt he was still out there with his centerfold date.
Lola sighed. “My first kiss wasn’t any good either, if it makes you feel better.”
“You didn’t tell me you’ve been kissed.”
“Because I was mortally embarrassed about it. I was twelve, we were both skateboarding in the park. I tripped over and he helped me up. Before I knew it, he planted a kiss on me and then ran off. I never saw him again. I don’t even know what his name was.”
I couldn’t help giggle through my sniffles. “Does that even count as a first kiss?”
“I think technically, it does. So you see, all first kisses suck. You just have to hope for a better second one.” Lola patted my back. She was actually doing a good job of cheering me up. Considering she had devoted herself to the emo lifestyle, she was surprisingly upbeat.
“Was your second any better?” I asked. How had she not told me any of these stories before? It only made me wonder what else she had been keeping from me.
“Slightly, at least I knew his name. I’m hoping my fourth is superb.”
“With Asher?”
She might have just blushed. “Hopefully. And hopefully it’s tonight but it’s not going to happen in here.” She gestured around at the toilet stall. I guess it wasn’t really a good hiding place. “My point is, things aren’t always going to be perfect. But everything that happens is going to happen whether you like it or not. Just roll with it. You never know what is just around the corner. Your perfect second kiss might be out there waiting for you.”
I gave her a hug before standing. “We should probably get back. Do my eyes look too terrible?”
“Nothing a bit of mascara can’t hide.” She pulled out a tube from her handbag – black, of course.
Only when I was satisfied I could pass for normal, did we return to our beanbags. By that time, the next movie had started. Havi gave me a questioning glance as I sat down. I just smiled in return, like nothing was out of the ordinary.
Yet one glance at the empty beanbags at his side made me think otherwise. Lochie and his perfect date had left. I was glad I didn’t have to see them cavort anymore – until an even more horrible thought occurred to me. He probably took her back to his place. They were probably cavorting in private now. Ugh, it was a disgusting thought.
I settled into the beanbag and tried to concentrate on the movie. It was difficult as thoughts of Lochie and that floozy kept drifting into my mind. I desperately needed it to stop or it was going to make me crazy.
I don’t even know why it bothered me so much. Lochie was an idiot, I couldn’t see how girls saw him any differently. Just one touch from him made my skin crawl. Kissing him would be absolutely horrific. But I shouldn’t be thinking of Lochie kissing anyone, I should have been focused on my own date.
I was glad when the credits finally rolled. I had no idea what the movie was about. I couldn’t even say who was in it, my mind had been floating around in space the entire time.
Havi drove me home as we left Lola and Asher to carry on the party at the ice creamery. I wouldn’t want to get in the way of her perfect kiss plans. I made a mental note to ask her about it the next day, I wanted all the details this time. She couldn’t hide anything else from me.
We pulled up outside my house and I took off my seatbelt. It suddenly got very awkward in the car. “Thanks for the movies, I had fun,” I lied. Hopefully he wouldn’t notice.
“Yeah, it was good.” He didn’t take off his seatbelt. Obviously I would be walking myself to the door. “I’ll see you around.”
“Yeah, see you around.” I cast one more look his way, he was staring straight ahead. I opened the door and hopped out. “Thanks again.”
He didn’t say anything, just roared down the street the moment I closed the door and stepped backwards. I guessed I blew it with him. So much for Havi not noticing. I guessed my mom would be pleased to hear I didn’t have a boyfriend after all. I didn’t have to worry about a second date or falling in love with him. Good one, Amery, good one.
CHAPTER 10
The door opened to my bedroom as I stared at the clock. I wasn’t ready to get up and face the day yet. Mom settled on the edge of my bed. She had been waiting up for me the previous night but I hadn’t given anything away about my date with Havi. I wasn’t prepared to talk about it, not until I had come to terms with it all.
“So how’d your date go?” She asked, like I feared she would.
“I don’t think it’s going to work out. I’m pretty sure he won’t ask me out again,” I replied honestly. No use keeping secrets, I wasn’t entitled to them. “I wasn’t the best date in world.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Anything you want to talk about?” She patted my leg in comfort, it was sweet. I knew she was dying to hear all the details.
“Not really. How did you and Dad first get together? Were you made to by the Department?” I asked, realizing I had never heard that story either. Either my memory was extremely bad, or I had been ignorant of so many things in the past.
Mom laughed. “We were together before the Department gave us you. Your father and I both worked for the FBI. We had just finished a big case and were celebrating in the office with a few drinks. I spotted him across the room and he was looking back at me too.” She looked at the roof as if seeing it play out in front of her there. “It was like everyone else just disappeared from the room and all we could see was each other. I knew then that I loved him. I didn’t know his name or anything about him, but I was gone, completely smitten.”
“You knew straight away like that?”
“It was love at first sight. We were married only two months later. One year later, we were given you. And the rest is history.” It was so romantic and I had no idea it had happened. I seriously needed to pay more attention to those around me.
“Did you ever want to have children of your own?” It was a question I had feared before. I didn’t know whether the Department stopped some host families from having other children. I hoped not, I didn’t want to be responsible for that.
“We wanted to have babies the second we were married. We tried for almost a year before we were told by the doctors I couldn’t have them,” Mom explained sadly, remembering those moments. “So when the Department was looking for parents, we jumped at the idea. We were so excited when we were approved. You made us a family.”
“You really wanted me that bad? I always thought the Department made you take me in.”
She shook her vehemently. “You were wanted just as much as any c
hild. I never saw you as anything except our daughter.”
I sat up and wrapped her in a hug, never wanting to let go. I had lucked out on the parent front, seriously. Considering I was purely a project placed by the government, I really had fallen on my feet. I was sure my biological parents would be very grateful.
I felt much better about facing the day now. After getting ready, I had a quick breakfast and headed off to meet Lola. Considering we had the whole weekend ahead of us, our sole intent and purpose was to do as much relaxing as possible. And it all started at the beach.
Unfortunately, that also meant hearing every detail about Asher. “He said the band might start touring in the summer, like college campuses and small clubs and stuff. Can you imagine how great that would be?”
“Totally great,” I replied, trying to keep up my level of enthusiasm.
“He kissed me last night and it was so perfect. But we both played cool, you know, like it wasn’t a big deal.” Her eyes were wide open as she told the story, clearly it was a big deal. I hadn’t seen her that excited about a guy… ever. All the others had been lame or had some particular quirk she couldn’t stand. Like the guy with a mole over his right eye that moved every time he spoke. Or the one with hair growing out of his ears that she couldn’t stop staring at. She had definitely had some interesting dates. Wish I could say the same thing.
“So the fourth time is a charm, then?” I laughed. Perhaps my disastrous first kiss wasn’t as dire as I had thought last night. Maybe Havi had completely forgotten about the whole thing. Or perhaps I was in denial.
“The fourth time was definitely worth all the times before it,” she grinned. “I’m pretty sure I’m going to be able to call Asher my boyfriend soon. The first time he says ‘hey, this is my girlfriend Lola’, I’m going to die. Seriously, Amery, you have no idea how I’m going to freak out.”
I could imagine it. “Well make sure I’m around when it happens then, I want to witness this big freak out. I’ll take a picture and scrapbook it.”
She sprinkled some sand over my arm to get me back for teasing her so I picked up a handful and threatened her with it. Lola took off, heading directly for the ocean. I chased after her, threatening her the entire way.
We hit the waves. The shock of cold was quickly warmed as I acclimatized to the water. The sun was sitting high in the sky with no clouds to block its rays. It was a glorious day. As I swam through the waves, it was like my problems were being drowned out. There was no way I could feel anything but free in the ocean.
I wondered if there were beaches back on my home planet. If I were to return, would I be able to swim in crystal clear ocean waters like these ones?
I had never been told anything about where I came from. The Department always focused on the mission, discussing the future rather than the past. My parents didn’t know anything more than I did about it.
If I ever got the chance, I would have mixed feelings about returning there one day. On one hand, I wouldn’t want to leave everything I had here. On the other hand, it would be nice to know where I came from. I guessed I would cross that bridge if I came to it.
Right now, I was swimming in the refreshing water and trying to dunk Lola underneath the waves. We giggled with our efforts, she was trying equally as hard to dunk me. I hoped our friendship wouldn’t change when she found out about what I really was. I couldn’t handle not having her as my friend. I would need all the friends I could get to survive the announcement and the aftermath.
When we had exhausted ourselves, we returned to our towels. Sand clung to every part of me, in some areas I wished it really wouldn’t. I only toweled my hair, letting the rest of me dry with the sun naturally. It was hot, the drying beads were a welcome treat. I slipped my bracelets back on, ensuring my triangle was covered on my left wrist.
“How about some ice cream?” Lola asked. “I’m starving.”
“I was thinking the same thing.” I wrapped my towel around my waist and we headed for the ice cream stall. All the flavors looked very inviting. A scoop of everything would have been nice but I settled for chocolate instead. We sat on the bench under the shade of a tree to escape the heat.
“Did you see what Lochie posted on Slam last night?” Lola asked, taking a bite out of her strawberry ice cream. The Slam was a social networking website for our school. It was supposed to be a safe alternative to the popular sites. Only students from our school could access it, nobody else was allowed to join up.
I groaned. Lochie wasn’t in my network, I had refused to friend him and he did the same to me. “No. Do I want to know what he posted?”
“Well, if you don’t like him it’s not a problem. There were lots of pictures of him and his date. Natasha and Lochie at the movies. Natasha and Lochie eating sundaes. Natasha and Lochie being cute for the camera. I wanted to throw up. I thought only girls posted things like that.”
“Ugh, he’s so disgusting. And I’m going to his house tomorrow to finish our English project. Everything is going to have his germs on it, I’m not going to be able to touch anything.” I grimaced, like it was going to be a house of horrors. I really thought it would be so I wasn’t just putting it on.
Lola just laughed at my misfortune. “You poor thing.”
“I know, right? First he ruins my date with Havi and then he wastes my Sunday.”
“Have you ever wondered why he decided to sit right next to you and Havi last night?” Lola asked. I knew where she was going immediately and I was not going to let her get there.
“He doesn’t have a thing for me. And I certainly don’t have a thing for him.”
“Then why did you kiss Havi last night in front of him? So it wasn’t to make him jealous then?”
I was repulsed by the thought. “No. I kissed Havi so Lochie would get the hint that we wanted our privacy and go away. It wasn’t to make him jealous. How can you even say that?”
She shrugged. “I guess I’m imagining things,” Lola said sarcastically. I didn’t know how to convince her how completely wrong she was. Lola knew me better than nearly everyone else, to be so wrong on the subject of Lochie was out of character. She normally knew me so much better.
I focused on my ice cream for a while, hoping the topic was dropped. I was trying to forget about him and last night and tomorrow. I didn’t need to be reminded of him all the time.
I guess I got my wish for something to take my mind off Lochie. My security detail approached, instantly making me panic. I didn’t want Lola to see them still following me, they weren’t supposed to make themselves known.
“Miss, we have to go,” Drew, one of the security police said urgently. He grabbed my elbow, not messing around.
“Hey, let her go,” Lola demanded, coming to my defense. “I’ll start screaming if you don’t.”
“We have a situation,” Frank explained, he was the other security officer on my tail that day. They were both regulars, I saw them every other day in the distance, watching me. It would have been creepy if they weren’t just doing their job.
“Lola, it’s okay,” I soothed, trying to get a grip on the situation. “I know these guys.”
“How?”
“Amery, we have to go,” Drew warned. Judging by the severe tone to his voice, I knew he meant business. If they had risked their exposure to move me, then it had to be something big going on.
I nodded my understanding. “Lola, we need to leave and you have to come with me. I’ll explain everything but there isn’t time right now.” I stood, both Drew and Frank were at my back, their eyes darting everywhere.
“I’m not going somewhere with two grown men I don’t know. Not until you tell me what’s going on first.”
“I will, but we have to hurry. Please, will you just trust me?” My eyes pleaded with her silently. The urgency of the situation was coursing through my veins, we needed to go. “There is not time right now, it could be dangerous to stay. Lola, just trust me, please.”
Her eyes flicked between
me and my security. It seemed to take her forever to come to a decision. “Fine. But I expect a full explanation for going with Mr. and Mr. Smith here.”
I linked my arm through hers so we could start moving. “I will, I promise. Full disclosure.”
Drew took us back to his car and ushered us inside while Frank grabbed our things from the beach. They probably didn’t appreciate all the sand in their vehicle but I guessed the Department would pay to have it vacuumed. It was probably the last thing I should have been worried about.
The car barreled down the road, far exceeding the speed limit. I wondered what would happen if the police pulled us over for speeding. Would they be able to flash some special Department badge and get out of a ticket? I kind of wished it would happen so I could find out.
But there were bigger things to worry about. “Are my parents okay? Is this anything to do with them?”
Frank answered while Drew concentrated on driving. “They’re fine. We saw a potential threat on the beach, some people acting oddly towards you. Our backup is dealing with them while we get you somewhere safe.”
That was a relief. At least nothing had actually happened, it was just a possibility. Still, it must have been something serious or they wouldn’t have shown themselves to Lola.
“When are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Lola asked, for the tenth time since we got in the car. “What threat? Where are we going?”
“Later,” I whispered again, just like all the other times. I didn’t think telling her what was going on in front of witnesses would be a good thing. Even though Frank and Drew were on my security detail, their loyalties still lay with the Department. If they knew I had told a human about me, I was pretty sure they would have to report it. Rob would not be pleased then.
“So where are we going?” I asked. I hoped it wasn’t to the Department. I didn’t need a long car ride, especially not in my bikini.
“We’re going to a safe house,” Frank stated, in the way everyone that worked for the Department did – without anything except the facts. “We’ll keep you there until we assess the threat.”
Project Integrate Series Boxed Set Page 8