“I don’t want to drag you and your… world into this.”
“We’re already in it and it’s by choice. You think my parents would put up this house for your bail if they didn’t want to?”
Garrick sighed and shrugged. He didn’t need to say why the concept of my parents wanting to help him was so foreign to him. His adoptive parents weren’t exactly good role models and I wasn’t sure how his relationship with his birth parents was going.
I stood and headed for the door, hoping I had made my point.
Garrick spoke before I could leave. “Ame, I don’t deserve you.”
“You didn’t kill that poor girl, Garrick. You shouldn’t be blamed for it. That’s what you don’t deserve.”
I left him alone and closed the door behind me, giving him the privacy he had previously asked for.
At least I could rest assured that he would actually still be there in the morning. He might be angry, but he wasn’t going to disappear in the middle of the night like he might have done before. And if that happened, he would be beyond help.
CHAPTER 7
I was awake earlier than my alarm the next morning. Which was a surprise considering I had spent half the night worrying about Garrick and his vicarious situation.
The idea had come to me sometime in the lonely hours of the night. Garrick needed someone to talk to, someone that might be able to actually help him. So I got up the moment I awoke and hurried to leave before anyone could stop me.
I made it to Kyle’s house earlier than was polite. As I knocked on the door, I hoped he wouldn’t mind. It was important, after all. It wasn’t like I was merely dropping by unannounced to discuss the weather.
As I waited, I couldn’t help but notice the large bug in the garden. It was probably Kyle’s breakfast if he spotted it before the poor thing could get away. I gave it a nudge with my foot, trying to save the bug’s life – and my queasy stomach.
The door swung open and Kyle stood there, rubbing his eyes and still wearing his jammies. “Amery?”
I pushed past him to get inside. “I need your help.”
He instantly sobered up. “What’s wrong?”
“You know what’s going on with Garrick?” He moaned as he sunk into the fold up chair in his living room. I really wished he would get some ordinary furniture.
“I’ve seen the news.”
“He’s staying at my house, we posted his bail. But he’s not doing well. He needs help.”
“Have you spoken with Krom about it?” Kyle asked, his voice was still croaky from sleep. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to make it sit right. It didn’t work.
“Krom spoke to us about it. He was angry.” I paused while Kyle nodded, probably imagining how Krom would react to the news. “But Garrick’s angry too. And upset. He needs someone to talk to.”
“And you thought I would be that someone?” That realization seemed to wake him up a little more.
“He trusts you.”
“No he doesn’t.” That was kind of the truth, damn Kyle for realizing it. I thought his memory might still be a bit foggy.
I rolled my eyes and slumped on one of the other fold up chairs. “Fine, but he does know you. You’re a guy, can’t you do that whole guy to guy talk thing?”
“Oh, I didn’t realize we were both guys. Of course we could shoot the breeze, I’m sure he’ll open right up to me,” Kyle said sarcastically.
I chose to ignore his tone of voice. “So you’ll talk to him then?”
“You don’t understand sarcasm, do you?”
“That was sarcasm? Well, call me surprised,” I replied, equally as sardonic. I flashed him a smile, trying to soften him up. “Come on, Kyle, please?”
“He’s not going to listen to anything I have to say. He never has in the past.”
“That’s not entirely true.”
“It’s true enough.” I gave him my best please-I’m-begging look and crossed my fingers. Kyle held out for a long time before he sighed again. “Fine, I’ll talk to him. But I’m not guaranteeing anything.”
“Thank you so much.” I jumped up and gave him a quick hug. “He’s at my house whenever you’re ready.”
I got out of there before any bugs were injured or eaten. One problem was kinda, sorta dealt with. That left one other to smooth over. I headed for the Portview Marina.
Lochie was spending some of the summer learning how to fix and build boats with his uncle. He was going to do a full apprenticeship before he decided to devote a lot of his time to me. I felt bad about that too. I was just racking up the things I needed to atone for one day.
Looking out at all the boats as they bobbed up and down on the water, I tried finding a familiar face amongst them. Sea weary men and their younger, keener boat hands moved about with a comfort on the water that I doubted I would ever have. Land was much more my thing.
At the end of the pier was a tiny little wooden boat, dwarfed by the yachts surrounding it. Kneeling on its deck was a person. I could only see the back of his head but I knew it was Lochie. I could spot him anywhere. I headed straight for the boat.
Even the jetty bobbed with the movement in the water. I didn’t know how people ever got used to it. Lochie never seemed to even notice, yet my legs went to jelly every time I visited him. Maybe it was a sign that I should just leave him to it.
As I approached, Lochie spotted me and his face lit up with a grin. I guessed the walk along the plank was worth that. “Hey, Jones.”
“Hey, you busy?” He looked busy, considering he was knee deep in the boat’s motor and his arms were smeared with grease. He didn’t have a shirt on, so the sweat glistened on his chest. A part of me thought it was really gross, but mostly I was just overwhelmed with how hot he looked.
Like, seriously hot.
He picked up a rag and attempted to clean the grease and grime off his hands. It only smeared it around some more. “I’m never too busy for you. What’s up?”
He held out his hand for me to take so I could step onto the boat. It didn’t look stable enough to hold two people. Yet I took his grimy hand anyway and stepped onto the deck. It swayed more than the jetty. I leaned on the steering wheel so I had something to hold onto.
“I’m going to have trouble convincing you to sail off into the sunset with me one day, aren’t I?” Lochie said, grinning at my discomfort. I’m glad he enjoyed it so much.
“You seem to be able to talk me into most things. I did agree to go out with you, after all.”
“As I recall, you asked me out.”
I swatted at his arm. “I did not. You lured me to your house under the guise of doing our school project and then you somehow convince me to go to lunch with you to celebrate finishing.”
He made a show of pretending to remember. Like it wasn’t drilled into his memory like it was mine. “And, as I recall, you stormed off afterward and wouldn’t even let me drive you home.”
“Because I realized you only asked me out to make Havi look bad.”
“That’s what you thought.”
“Tell me I was wrong,” I challenged, certain I wasn’t wrong.
Lochie hesitated before answering seriously, something I wasn’t expecting. “You were wrong. I asked you to lunch because I was afraid I would lose you to Havi. I couldn’t let that happen. Showing him up was a side benefit.”
Suddenly the water didn’t seem as bumpy as it had. I left the safety of the steering wheel and closed the gap between us, throwing my arms around Lochie’s neck. We kissed in the morning light like neither of us had any problems. And like Lochie wasn’t covered in grease and sweat.
“You can be really sweet when you want to be, you know that?” I said. He traced a trail of kisses along my neck, making me giggle.
“So can you, Jones. So can you.”
I released him and stumbled back to the steering wheel. I stared at him like a love struck fool as I tried to remember why I came there in the first place.
“So, you here to l
earn all about boat engines?” Lochie asked. “Or are you here just to ogle me?”
My face flushed with embarrassment, I didn’t think I had been that obvious. “I’m not ogling you.”
“I can practically see the drool.”
Why was I there again? My brain had to stretch and concentrate. Oh, yeah, the date I missed. “I came to apologize again for forgetting about our date last night.”
His face lost its sparkle with the memory. “It’s okay, I know you’re busy.”
“No, it’s not okay. If you did that I would be so angry with you, you’d be making it up to me for weeks.”
His smile returned. “So how are you going to make it up to me, Jones? I mean, I was so, so upset about it. I cried all night long. It’s going to take a lot for me to forget about it.” He was laying it on thick, I tried not to roll my eyes as he spoke.
I probably should have planned better for the discussion, my mind had to race to think of something to say. “I’m going to take you out on the most perfect date ever. It’s going to be so good, it will put all other dates to shame.”
He arched one sweaty eyebrow at me, probably not believing that I would be able to pull it off. He wasn’t the only one. “A perfect date, huh? So what are we going to do?”
“That will be a surprise.”
“So you don’t know yet?” Damn it, how did he always manage to do that?
“Of course I know.” I feigned disgust at his disbelief. “But I’m not going to tell you. I want you to be so shocked and in awe that you’ll be like ‘this is so awesome’.”
Lochie laughed. I still don’t think he believed me. “Right. A surprise. Got it.” He winked at me and picked up a wrench as he started tapping at the engine again. “So is that all you came here for?”
“Yeah. I’ll leave you to it if you’re busy.” I made to leave but Lochie stopped me.
“Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.” That didn’t sound good. I was almost certain he wasn’t about to break up with me considering our previous conversation. That left everything else bad.
“What is it?” I asked casually, nonchalantly trying to play it cool. I would really have rather dived into the water fully dressed than have to listen to bad news. Lochie never wanted to talk about something with me.
He focused on the engine as he spoke, refusing to meet my gaze. “There’s this summer school early admission thing at Starton University. It’s supposed to give freshmen a head start and extra credit. My mom really wants me to go.”
“And you? Do you really want to go?”
He used the wrench to pull a bolt free before he carefully lined it up along others on the boat’s floor. “I don’t know. Any head start would probably be good, give me an advantage over everyone else. But it means I would be leaving early.”
“How early?” I could only think in short sentences. My heart was pounding in my chest for all the wrong reasons.
“Like in three weeks.” His eyes shot up to meet mine, probably trying to gauge my reaction. I hoped he didn’t see how surprised I was. Or maybe I did want him to see, I don’t know.
“And you’d be gone all summer? You wouldn’t come back?”
He shrugged as we went back to the engine as if it was the most fascinating thing on the planet. He was having trouble having the conversation. So was I. We’d gone from light to serious in less than a second.
“I could probably come back for a weekend here and there. But the program would go right up to the start of the semester,” he replied. Obviously he had been thinking about it for a while. I wondered why he hadn’t discussed it with me earlier.
I didn’t know what to say. I really wanted to be supportive and to tell him he should go if that was what he wanted to do. If it was good for his education, then he should do it regardless of the impact it would cause to anyone else.
But the other part of me really didn’t want Lochie to go. I wanted to beg him to stay so I would at least have him to myself for the summer. I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t know how I would function without him. He had become my other half, something I would be lost without.
I plastered on a smile and did the right thing – like I had been taught that I must do my entire life. “If you think this is something you should do, then you should go.”
“You really think so?” He was staring at me now. I hoped I looked more convincing than I felt.
“It’s your future, there’s nothing more important than that.”
“You’re pretty important.”
“But your education is more important.”
He returned to the engine, lining up all the bolts again to make sure they were super straight. “I’ve still got a few days to make a decision.”
“I should make sure our perfect date is this weekend then.” If it was potentially one of our last weekends together, every moment counted.
“You don’t have to. It’s not certain I’ll go yet.”
“I want to anyway,” I said happily, actually meaning it. Man, things had changed. It wasn’t that long ago that the thought of being rid of Lochie for good would have made me jump with joy. Now, I was completely devastated at the thought. “I should go so you can work.”
“I’ll give you a call later,” he promised. I leant down and gave him a quick kiss before he helped me off the boat. I felt his eyes burning on me while I walked along the jetty back to land. I didn’t turn around to check, but I knew he was watching.
I had plans to meet Lola at lunchtime so I went to the mall early to wait for her. It was nice to have a little bit of time to myself, even if I did spend it having a coffee and a donut.
At least the stares around town were slowly getting less and less. Either that or I just didn’t notice them as much anymore. I still wore bracelets to cover the triangle tattoo on my left wrist, but that was mainly from a lifetime of habit. Once, my life depended on keeping the tattoo hidden.
Lola texted me when she arrived and we met at Idiom, her favorite store. Our mall mission was to find her a stage outfit for Rockapalooza. She wanted something cool but not too try-hard. It was apparently a fine line she had to walk. Or strut.
“Maybe you should wear something colorful,” I suggested. There was a lot of black in the store. While Lola was experimenting with many more colors these days, she still tended to prefer to wear black on stage.
“Black is cool.”
“But it’s expected.”
She pursed her lips as she thought it through. “If I perform well enough, nobody will notice the outfit. I can do expected.” She held up a black dress edged in lace. Shaking her head, she put it back again.
I flicked through the racks and found a dark purple dress. It wasn’t girly, nor cutesy. It was kind of rock chick. “How about this one?” I held it up so she could see.
“It’s kind of nice. Keep it out for the try-on pile.” I draped it over my arm as we kept moving through the clothes. It was Lola’s favorite store so there had to be something there she would fall in love with.
“Are you okay?” She asked when we were halfway through the store. “You seem a bit… off.”
And I thought I had been doing such a good job of pretending. Clearly my acting skills were lacking lately. “I’m fine.”
Lola gave me a look like she could see the big liar sign above my head. “Come on, Ame. I’m your best friend, I know when everything is not fine. Spill.”
There was no point in denying it any further. “I saw Lochie earlier. He’s thinking of doing summer school at university. He’d be leaving in three weeks.”
“Oh. That sucks.”
“Yeah.”
“Did he say if he was going to do it? Like, for real?” Her grimace reflected my mood perfectly.
“He’s thinking about it. His mom wants him to do it. And you know why that would be.”
Lola nodded. “So her precious little baby boy wouldn’t get to spend the long summer cuddling up with his alien girlfriend.�
� I nodded sadly. While I’m sure it wasn’t the only reason why Mrs. Mercury wanted Lochie to do it, I was sure it was part of the decision process. “You could go with him.”
“No, I couldn’t.”
“Why not?” The question was so simple but I hadn’t thought about that. I didn’t want to be some tag along loser that chased after her boyfriend no matter where he went. I had a life of my own to live, a future of my own to consider.
But I hadn’t considered my own future before. It had been laid down by the Department from birth, I wasn’t supposed to have choices. It was only since Project Integrate ceased that I had the option of deciding my own fate.
Within reason, of course. I still had a bucket load of rules that I needed to consider and follow. I wasn’t exactly a free spirit that could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
“He wouldn’t want me to follow him around like a puppy,” I finally answered. “I’m sure he’ll have other things on his mind rather than his girlfriend once he gets to campus. Engineering isn’t exactly an easy degree.”
“I’d kill Asher if he left me all summer,” Lola stated simply. She didn’t beat around the bush, which is why I loved her so much.
“At least I’ll still have you.” I laughed, making the words sputter out. “What are you going to do after summer?”
She shrugged, putting another castoff back into the racks. “My parents have me signed up at South West University to start in the fall. But I’m thinking of going to L.A. instead. I don’t need a college education if I’m going to be a singer. It will be a waste of time and money.”
Lola had had that discussion with her parents many times over the past year. I’d lost track of how many screaming matches they’d had over the subject. Getting accepted to South West was something Lola did just to appease them. They were both business professionals, they didn’t understand her desire to choose a creative arts career.
“What will you do in L.A.?”
“Play as many gigs as we can until we’re discovered and score a record deal.”
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